Since you asked…

By Shamus Posted Saturday Aug 28, 2010

Filed under: Personal 77 comments

There’s nothing more tedious than a health-update blog from a sickie. Oh, the gangrene is so much better today. The oozing has nearly stopped and I hardly notice the smell! Thanks so much for the well-wishes everybody! I’d give you all thumbs up but I just had them off yesterday.

But some of you asked. So…

Yes, I’m doing better. I’m free of the merciless pain and burning that defined my existence last week. I’m no longer bumbling around the house, curtains closed, sunglasses on, head down, and wincing whenever something brighter than a cooling ember enters my field of view. That was a rough patch, to be sure. My usual practice when I get sick is to distract myself with movies or games, both of which involve looking at things. So I spent a lot of time focusing on just how uncomfortable I was. And complaining.

But that part is over. My right eye is still slow to adjust, but I can look out the window again as long as I work up to it slowly. The eye is also very blurry, although I strongly suspect that’s just a temporary condition.

Now that the pain is gone I have to say I’m really enjoying the rest. I’ve been running at capacity for half a year now. I have a weekly column, a webcomic, a video series, a let’s play, and a blog, all of which feed on my videogaming. As my workload increased, I cut back on my other hobbies in order to keep up. I couldn’t very well justify spending a half hour with an anime when that same allotment of time with a game could spark an article or a joke.

But this week I let everything slide. (Except the column, which pretty much wrote itself this time.) At one point I discovered that while sitting in front of my monitor was too painful, I could sit across the room from the television. So I sat on the couch with my kids and watched three hours of Avatar: The Last Airbender. My review: That was a really, really good show.

By Saturday I was back to playing videogames. Usually I have to keep playing new games to feed the column, comic, etc. But on Saturday I was able to say “screw it” and play whatever I liked. Which turned out to be Mass Effect. What a tremendous game. I’d forgotten just how good it was in places. It’s also painful to think about how badly the setting gets mangled. It’s like going back and watching The Matrix after seeing Reloaded and realizing that the questions that tantalized us in the beginning turned out to have drooling nonsense for an answer. Alas.

I wish I could play this game, except with Dr. Modin Solus in it. That would be perfect.

So that’s how I’m doing. Getting better. All hail modern medicine.

 


 

Experinced Points: Bargains are for Cheaters

By Shamus Posted Friday Aug 27, 2010

Filed under: Column 198 comments

Problem: Games industry is experiencing competition that is undercutting their prices!

Solution: Erect a bureaucratic system of controlling access to game content on an itemized basis. Then tell gamers they’re cheaters for shopping elsewhere.

I admit that I am not a businessman, yet I remain convinced that there is nothing wrong with this industry that couldn’t be fixed by just one person with an MBA and average-level intelligence.

Yes, I’m very much aware that I’m shouting into the hurricane here and nobody is going to listen. But what the heck, right? It’s a living.

 


 

Spoiler Warning 3×3: All in the Family

By Shamus Posted Thursday Aug 26, 2010

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 96 comments

Wherein uncle Cuftbert fights big daddies to free little sisters in order give big brother the mother of all knuckle sandwiches.

Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself.

At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index.

 


 

Ding! 39!

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Aug 24, 2010

Filed under: Landmarks 135 comments

For reasons that will be apparent in two paragraphs, I’m typing this with my head down, eyes helf-open and fixed on the keyboard. Please be tolerant of errors and typos. Fixing them would hurt me more than they hurt you.

Tuesday (today, for some of us) was my birthday. It was my 39th birthday. It was not a good one. In fact, this is the second-worst birthday so far, only narrowly edged out by the first one where someone pulled me from the warmth and tranquility of the womb and into this nightmare realm of war, famine, and Michael Bay movies.

About a week ago I came down with an eye infection. It started out mild. Just a bit of redness on the eyelid. “Ah. Probably just spending too much time at the computer”, I thought, “It will clear up in no time.” This theory was disproven over the weekend, when it did, in fact, get monumentally worse. And gross. And painful.

If I close my eye, it burns like my tear duct is churning out mace by the gallon. If I open them, the infected eye is pierced with agony because the dang thing refuses to focus on anything or adjust to the light. Covering it up doesn’t seem to help. So it only hurts when my eyes are closed or I’m looking at things. This means the only way to escapse the pain is to sit upright in a dark room with my eyes open, looking at nothing. While this is a tedious way to spend one’s time, it’s better than watching a Michel Bay movie so it’s sort of a mixed blessing.

It’s been days since I’ve slept more thn two or three hours at a stretch. Now I can’t see and I can’t think. This has made me a little irritable. And it’s ALL YOUR FAULT.

No. Sorry. It’s not totally your fault. Anyway. On my birthday I went to see the doctor and she gave me some weapons-grade antibiotics. I can’t read the label to save my life, but I’m pretty sure it says something along the lines of, “Jam this crap into your eyeball every four hours until you’re out of medicine or the thing falls out, either of which should fix the problem.”

So that’s what I’m doing. I have my LCD monitor set to minimum brightness right now, and I can only behold it with fleeting sideways glances. I have to piece togethe rthe world around me with momentary peeks. So all I see are painful flashes of light and abrupt cuts from one disjoined blurry image to the next. So it’s sort of like watching a Michel Bay movie all the time. Which is the worst part.

I’m actually doing a lot better. It’s only been six hours since I took the first dose of medicine, and it already hurts way, way less. I don’t know if I’ll be back to normal tomorrow or if I’ll end up taking the rest of the week off. We’ll see.

So this has been a rough birthday. But still. At the end of the day I can at least be grateful for one thing:

At least I’m not 40.

 


 

Spoiler Warning 3×2: This Episode is Too Symmetrical

By Josh Posted Tuesday Aug 24, 2010

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 106 comments

As I mentioned in the comments section of the last episode, at the time of that recording, I hadn’t played Bioshock in six months. I didn’t really know what I was doing – I hadn’t even remapped the keys before we started recording. Though, to be fair, how long have we had the standard WASD shooter keymap now? Why does crouch in Bioshock default to ‘c’ and sprint to ‘crtl’?

In any case, these problems have been rectified with this episode.

Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself.

At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index.

Enjoy.

 


 

Mirror’s Edge Review Part 1:
Running into Walls

By Josh Posted Monday Aug 23, 2010

Filed under: Game Reviews 81 comments

For those who don’t read the heading. (i.e. everyone) This post is from Josh, not myself. I went all fanboy on Mirror’s Edge when it was showcased at E3. Then I played the demo. Then I elected to cherish that illusory dream-game hinted at in the trailer rather than spoiling that image of perfection by actually playing the thing. I like to pretend that the perfect game I saw is still out there, just waiting for a release date.

However, if you actually want a review based on facts and first-hand experience, then Josh has you covered.

-Shamus

Steam, at the very least as a digital distribution platform, is great. Now I know Shamus has expressed a number of very valid concerns about the idea (and indeed, strong possibility) of a Steam monopoly and all of the ways that could go wrong â€" and I am in absolute and total agreement with every one of those concerns â€" but there is a reason Steam is by and large the PC digital distribution platform. I can, with confidence, say that the sales held regularly on Steam have led me to try dozens of games (if not hundreds â€" my account has nearly 125(!) games on it) I would never have considered playing otherwise. One such game is an odd little title released back in 2008: Mirror’s Edge.

Or edges for that matter.
I’m not really sure what mirrors have to do with anything…

When Mirror’s Edge came out, I’d been following it with some interest, but I thought the concept was, frankly, rather crazy (First-person acrobatics? Tell me that doesn’t sound like a recipe for frustration and disaster). And the reviews I skimmed after the game was released seemed to reinforce this notion. But when the game is on sale on Steam for $5? Well… It can’t be that bad.

Right?

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mirror’s Edge Review Part 1:
Running into Walls”