-
Archives
-
Categories
- Anime (72)
- D&D Campaign (84)
- DM of the Rings (156)
- Escapist (319)
- Game Design (69)
- Game Reviews (314)
- Lets Play (78)
- Links (210)
- Movies (208)
- Nerd Culture (135)
- Notices (82)
- Personal (114)
- Pictures (114)
- Programming (21)
- Projects (88)
- Random Thoughts (123)
- Rants (149)
- Tabletop Games (62)
- Video Games (135)
-
RSS Links
-
Links
Football: Total War
Previous in Nerd Culture: The Gnome Depot | Next in Nerd Culture: Tale of Pants |
In my view, all team sports are a simulation of warfare on one level or another. Some are just more explicit about it. All societies have the desire to compete (just as many individuals do) to be the best, to conquer the enemy. Team sports provide a way for us to pursue this without actually killing people or destroying stuff. We can scratch our itch for conquest and dominance every week, watching as our army invades an opposing city, or their army invades ours. When it’s over we can go back to work without worrying if our employer has been enslaved and our office reduced to rubble. It’s a good deal.
In all the dozens of professional team sports in the world, I can’t think of any that bears such a striking resemblance to actual warfare as American Football. In particular, it looks a lot (to me) like classic medieval war.
In no other sport is the taking and holding of territory an actual part of the game. While many sports (Basketball, Hockey, Soccer*, Baseball, et al.) are more or less continuous action, football has a very different flow. Consider that each war (football game) is divided into many distinct battles (plays) where your army (team) attempts to sieze terrritory (gain yardage) so that they may reach the opposing city (the end zone) and conquer it (score a touchdown). If you can’t breach the city (they stop the drive) then you lay siege (kick a field goal).
Instead of a bunch of people running all over the field, you have the soldiers line up and face each other on a skirmish line. Once the battle begins, it is the goal of both sides to break the enemy’s lines.
Downs have the effect of simulating attrittion. Like Napoleon (or Hitler) marching through Russia, if the enemy manages to dig in and stops your advance, then you’re screwed. You can’t sustain the attack forever. There is only one road to victory, and it leads through the gates of your opponent’s city.
The players wear armor and helmets, and mix it up with direct, deliberate physical contact. Sure, basketball has its share of elbows and pushing. Hockey has checking. Baseball has rude gestures that damage the self-esteem. But in football it is expected and inevitable that your players will use violence to advance your goals and frustrate the goals of the enemy.
Many other sports have key players and important positions, but I can’t think of one where a single althelete directly controls the rest of the team the way a quarterback does. The coach may decide overall strategy, but the per-play decisions are made by the man on the field. Injuring the quarterback (field general) is important not just for taking out a talented member of the team, but has the effect of crippling the leadership and damaging the morale of the enemy.
* Yes, I know Europeans get annoyed when we call their football “soccer”, but there is no other way to handle this without causing excess verbosity or confusion. Don’t be so thin-skinned.
Previous in Nerd Culture: The Gnome Depot | Next in Nerd Culture: Tale of Pants |
24 comments. (That's 10 in Hexadecimal.)
16 comments:
Leave a Reply
What about golf? How the hell does sychronized swimming resemble war? I think your analogy sucks…and i think you’re a fag
Sychronized swimming is more like war than you realize. I’m serious. Just watch it for about 10 minutes and see if you don’t want to jump in the pool and kill every one of those goofballs.
Here is a hint: it’s easy to tell who you are when you sit 1 desk over from me, and I’m the one who assigned you that IP address.
So, Eomer just lost 5000xp. And all his gold. And his pants fell down. Plus he totally wants to kiss Mordan. Right on the lips.
But yeah, I’m a fag.
Oh yeah: How is Golf like war?
Golfers are snipers.
That is all.
Geez. You’d think my keyboard would be safe while I’m trolling your back issues. Soaked again.
Jejeje, snipers…. good analogy. keep on!
You recognise that Europeans don’t call soccer soccer. That’s better than most North Americans and makes me happy. It’s not your fault that soccer is a crappy name for a sport.
Rugby is a lot like war, but then rugby is a lot like American Football (as it’s known in Europe). The only difference is Rugby has a few more rules restricting what’s a legal way of hurting someone and what isn’t and no armour or helmets. There was a (unscientific TV) experiment once where they got a bunch of Rugby players and American Footballers to swap sports for a while. Both sides concluded the others were nutters with a far more dangerous sport.
Soccer is an awesome name. As awesome as the sport it describes.
kudos, great analagy.
Bob`s right. I`m a European (scratch that, I`m a Scotsman, the rest of the world might think of Scots and their fellow Brits as Europeans but as far as we`re concerned theres a whole sea between us and them) who has played both Rugby and American Football. I used to think that American Football was basically Rugby for wimps who were scared of a few bruises, the odd broken nose and a few chipped teeth. Then I got the chance to play American Football during an exchange and I have to say how nuts those guys are to play a game like that wearing so much padding in a hot place like Virginia.
That being said, the guys in the team thought I was nuts when I asked if I could be allowed to play without the hemlet and padding.
Different strokes I suppose.
George Carlin (comedian) actually did a piece similar to this, comparing football to a war/battle and juxtaposing baseball. It’s probably called “Football and Baseball” or something similar.
I think the Carlin piece is in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chop?.
That’s what I remember in my head. But people on the Internet quote from Brain Droppings consistently differently.
sports=warfare
whats not to like?
So what is The Luge? Kamikaze pilots?
Luge isn’t kamikaze… its “The Right Stuff,” you know, pushing the sound barrier, heading into space, that sort of thing.
And Golfers are totally snipers… they move around in two-man teams, have a (drag)bag full of weapons and equipment, and they have to analyze wind direction and their position constantly.
Great analogy on the football similar to warfare. That was hilarious on the whole synchronized swimming bit. Yes, I would like to kill everyone of them after just 30 seconds. Also, great pic of Gordon Freeman from Half-Life. Thanks for the post man.
Great comparison dude!
Calavingian is right by the way.. the UK isn’t part of Europe.. I’m European I should know =) When I want to visit my gf at her Uni I need to take a plain to get there..