The depths of the 70′s

 By Shamus Oct 10, 2006 28 comments

A lot of people jumped in and stuck up for portions of the 70′s in yesterday’s post. Jaquandor responded as well.

Ok, I concede that things in the 70′s were not universally awful. There were little bits – a few key movies and some good songs – that many people really cherish. Fine.

But I think we can all agree that when things were bad in the 70′s, they were really, really bad. Soul-crushing, mind-destroying, nightmarishly horrible.

I do not at all suggest you watch the following clip, which Will maliciously provided. Just don’t do it. However, if you want to see the depths of the 70′s, then this might provide some sort of morbid entertainment, akin to watching an autopsy. I’d go to a Hanson concert and scream like a teenage girl before I got anywhere near these guys when they were making “music”.

You think boy bands suck? You think legwarmers looked stupid? You think the mullet was ridiculous? You think tribal tattoos are cheap and shallow? Friend, you have not begun to understand the meaning of awful:


Link (YouTube)

The prosecution rests.

20828 comments. Hurry up and add yours before it becomes passé.


  1. Bogan the Mighty says:

    You know I think as payment to the suffering of indians everywhere the government should allow them to hunt down the creators of that movie and and everybody who actually liked it so that they may be properly scalped and sacrificed to appease well just me. I would also like to say that I am willing to pay and also sit through a Hanson concert just to watch Shamus scream like a little girl.

  2. I agree the seventies were pretty damn bad, as far as design and popular culture are concerned. History, too, seemed like a car crash during that time. The tiny islands of good stuff (movies, songs, books) were not the hints of a sunken mountain range of a powerful culture, but just some appealing trash that happened to float through history, remaining attached to nothing.

    Also, the seventies were the spawning ground of History’s Greatest Monster. (Hint: used to farm peanuts.)

  3. Will says:

    I take it you finally watched it the whole way through. The full comments list at youtube is a fairly entertaining read. The general consensus seems to be that everyone involved had to be coked out of their minds to think it was a good idea.

  4. Heather says:

    That was way too much like Solid Gold. Oh my.

  5. Jaquandor says:

    Stipulated for now, but how do we know that twenty years from now the strains of “MMM-Bop” won’t inspire the same instinct for self-immolation that this does now?

  6. Shamus says:

    It’s certainly possible (it’s always hard to predict what the next generaion will be up to) but I’m having trouble picturing it. MMM-bop wasn’t great art, but it was harmless fluffy pop culture for young girls. That stands in pretty stark contrast to what we see in this video. The clothing, the hair, the attitude, the music, the dancing… You can see it on their faces: These guys are just so sure they rock.

  7. Patrick says:

    They should look like they rock, BECAUSE THEY DO! I’ve been looking for a white tassled jumpsuit since I was 7 and saw Bootsie Collins on Soul Train.
    (and on a side note, anyone know where I could find a size 10 1/2 platform shoe? preferably suede, preferably neon colored?) Aaaanyways, I think they should be happy, they made some kickass disco to totally grooove too!

    I also think MMM-bop was a defining moment in American music history.

    Shamus always screams like a girl, but only usually when Dreamfall or some other 1st person shooter ‘cheats’….which seems to be often.

    I also believe Bogan the Mighty stands a chance to get laid more than once.

    Nicholas Cage is a great actor.

    And I think those guys ROCK TOO!!

  8. Wonderduck says:

    A disco version of Apache? Dear god…

  9. some kid says:

    That was… disturbing.

    As for what my generation will be up to? Who knows, but anything will be better than that.

  10. BeckoningChasm says:

    I’m sorry, but if you see that keyboard player’s picture anywhere, and it isn’t in an illustrated dictionary under the entry for “Dork,” then you need more books.

    The rest of the guys–they weren’t the Ventures, were they?

  11. Don says:

    The Ventures did cover “Apache,” but this abomination was the work of Tommy Seebach.

  12. BeckoningChasm says:

    Thank the Maker it wasn’t the Ventures. I’d never be able to listen to Walk Don’t Run again without running myself off a cliff.

  13. Evil Otto says:

    I think a little part of my soul just died.

  14. BeckoningChasm says:

    Actually, you know where that clip would fit perfectly? Another ’70′s television show–SCTV.

    I can easily see this aired on “The Fishin’ Musician” or “Mel’s Rock Pile.” The organist could easily be Martin Short.

  15. Evil Otto says:

    If anyone still has doubts about what a horrible, dark, soul-crushing decade the ’70s were, all I can say is five words:

    The Star Wars Holiday Special

  16. some kid says:

    It’s like they were trying to be cool but didn’t know how.

  17. YouTube says the video is no longer available

  18. Wil K. says:

    (my excuse: Shamus linkied this recently)
    I actually kind of enjoyed the music. It’s a simple atmospheric music that you don’t really have to listen to to get the benefit of hearing it (sort of like Brian Eno’s music, but not as good), and that’s pretty decent OH GOD I WAS SO WRONG I JUST GOT TO THE SINGING PART. Curse you Shamus, lulling me into the horror with an instrumental opening.

    So, the first part (of the music) is kind of fine, but everything else is perverted beyond return.

  19. Mari says:

    I’d just like to say that you’ll burn in the bowels of hades forever for 1) posting this and 2) linking to it two years later to injure a whole new crop of brains. Speaking of brains, mine’s bleeding now. Thanks. I hate you so much right now.

  20. Euphemism says:

    Eh. The weirdly dressed guy was weirdly dressed. About as dorky as a Disco suit. The scantily dressed girls were hardly any worse than Britney Spears (sic?) in Toxic. The instrumental part of the song was catchy. The singing part is rather meh. Hardly brain-bleach worthy.

  21. TSED says:

    Man, you’re a lucky man if you think THAT is soul crushing and terrible.

    I’d rather listen to that then deathcore, metalcore, rap, or country. All of which are somewhat to very popular (with the exception of deathcore which no one likes because it is IMPOSSIBLE to make it sound good, honest).

  22. Felix says:

    The first 5 minutes of this is pretty good. The guys are tone-deaf so the singing sucks, but really the only terrible thing about this is the presentation.

    They’re trying to combine the 40′s and 50′s band presentation (must smile at the camera all the time), with 1930′s musical pageant choreography (those dancers’ moves would fit in most Fred Astaire movies); that combination is fine, but it’s all ruined with fringe and porn mustaches.

    I was actually digging the music until they began to sing at the 5 minute mark.

  23. ryanlb says:

    I concur with Felix’s final statement. It was quite enjoyable while reading the comments and not watching the video – I couldn’t take that for more than 15 seconds.

  24. Talrogsmash says:

    Someone alert Paul & Storm that we have found JoCo’s father.

  25. Will says:

    Realize everyone, that the video as it appears on youtube now is not what we were listening to two years ago. Notice that the comments only run back 4 months. For the intended effect you have to go here.

  26. pdwalker says:

    Dear Mary, Mother Of Jesus!

    That’s bad!

  27. tomas says:

    There has been a remix of this:

    (Tommy Seebach) Apache vs. Voodoo people (The prodigy): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv5OwTiBEiQ

Leave a Reply

Comments are moderated and may not be posted immediately. Required fields are marked *

*
*

Thanks for joining the discussion. Be nice, don't post angry, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be fun.

You can enclose spoilers in <strike> tags like so:
<strike>Darth Vader is Luke's father!</strike>

You can make things italics like this:
Can you imagine having Darth Vader as your <i>father</i>?

You can make things bold like this:
I'm <b>very</b> glad Darth Vader isn't my father.

You can make links like this:
I'm reading about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader">Darth Vader</a> on Wikipedia!