Stolen Pixels #152: A Very Combine Christmas, Part 1

By Shamus
on Dec 18, 2009
Filed under:
Column

This will be a three-part joke… series… thing.

It was exceedingly hard to get this to look passable. Most of the bottles in the Source engine are hilariously oversized, and Judith is a little small, so every object I placed in her hands ended up looking like an oversized toy.

Eggnog is a very polarizing drink. People either loooove it or they compare it to vomit if you mention the stuff. It must be very hard to be an eggnog-enjoyer.

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201535 comments. Hurry up and add yours before it becomes passé.

From the Archives:

  1. MichaelG says:

    Are they EVER going to release the next part of that stupid (addictive) game?

    And did anyone else shoot at Judith continually from the first frame you see her?

  2. Gregory Weir says:

    You’re right; her sweater is really effing bright.

    • Shamus says:

      Gah. Her sweater! She’s right next to a snowman combine, who is supposedly wearing white himself. But if I have enough light to properly illuminate him and Breen, Judith glows like the sun. What’s odd is that in the game proper her sweater seems off-white and the combine seems pure white. Hm.

  3. Joe Cool says:

    Aha! Someone else who doesn’t like eggnog. I thought I was the only one.

  4. ccesarano says:

    To this day I still don’t know what is in Eggnog. I’m assuming egg and I’ve heard people mention alcohol, but Nog sounds like the name you’d give a gnome or a sort of fuzzy yet ugly swamp creature from a Jim Henson fantasy.

    So generally, I’ve made it a point to never even bother trying it. Then again, I also don’t know anyone in my family that drinks it, and only one or two of my friends at school imbibed the questionable fluid, so it’s not like I’ve ever really been in its presence.

  5. Rick W says:

    ccesarano: According to Wikipedia, “Eggnog is a sweetened dairy-based beverage made with milk, cream, sugar, beaten eggs (which gives it a frothy texture), and flavoured with ground cinnamon and nutmeg; alcoholic versions also exist with the addition of various liquors, such as brandy, rum, whiskey, advocaat and/or Baileys Irish Cream.”

    I like the taste of eggnog, but after one glass I’m pretty much done for the year, so it’s really not worth buying a full carton (I don’t like it that much).

  6. Mike says:

    I love the stuff, but it’s rarely available in a form that won’t cause me severe pain. Lact-Aid brand egg-nog is sometimes available, but I haven’t seen it in a few years.

    *sigh*

  7. Teldurn says:

    I love eggnog so much that around the holidays, I’ll buy a carton or two (the non-alcoholic version, of course) and use it to replace milk in my daily bowl of cereal.

    I also like eggnog flavored baked goods: Cookies, cupcakes, you name it!

  8. Blackbird71 says:

    @ccessarano (5)
    Egg nog does in fact contain egg, as to the other ingredients I don’t recall off the top of my head, but I have made it from scratch before (Rick W seems to have hit all the main stuff).

    Personally I love egg nog, but the store bought stuff is always a bit thick. I have to dilute it with about a 1:2 milk to egg nog ratio before it becomes drinkable.

    I also find adding about a tablespoon or two to hot cocoa works really well. :)

  9. Sungazer says:

    I also love the Nog. It’s alright that you don’t like it, that just means there’s more for me!

    Mike:
    Have you tried using the pills that help with lactose intolerance? I take those when I drink eggnog and they really do work.

  10. Yar Kramer says:

    Ah, yet another reason annoyance regarding Bloom … ;)

    I personally haven’t met anyone who dislikes eggnog that actively. I mean … I don’t love it, but I usually don’t “love” any food, I guess, I’m no gastronome. I just usually get myself a carton of eggnog to consume over the course of December.

    “Bile,” huh? I smell a Boomer joke coming … ;)

  11. Wil K. says:

    Yeah… I’m definitely on the ‘vomit’ side of the eggnog debate.

  12. Drew says:

    Homemade eggnog is substantially better than the store-bought stuff. If you do it right, there are fluffy little islands of egg whites, instead of the homegenous mass you get from the store.

    Also, Judith’s enormous hands are a real benefit here, given the oversized bottles, no?

  13. GoodApprentice says:

    Eggnog isn’t that bad. It’s just a slightly sweet, slightly alcohol-flavoured milkshake. Just think of it as a family-friendly White Russian. Mmmm…excuse me for a second while I go to my freezer to fetch the vodka.

    Merry Christmas!

  14. someboringguy says:

    Uh, sorry, but the combine jokes, and every joke that is related to Halflife doesn’t strike a chord with me.

  15. SteveDJ says:

    Question: Are the eggs raw? If not, then how does it remain a liquid when cooked?

  16. JohnW says:

    MichaelG: After the first time you meet her in HL2, she locks herself in a room and talks to someone on one of those comm screens. So, yeah, I tried to shoot her repeatedly. I can smell a rat a mile away!

    Teldurn: it’s great in coffee, too.

    I’ve never met anyone who didn’t love eggnog. Seriously, I am kind of surprised.

  17. Emkinator says:

    There’s a prop resizer tool avaiable, so you can shrink the bottles http://www.garrysmod.org/downloads/?a=view&id=78647

  18. Blackbird71 says:

    @SteveDJ (16)

    I believe that there are some recipes that use raw eggs, but the one I use is cooked. You blend the eggs into all the other ingredients, which keeps them separated into small enough amounts that they are insulated by the rest of the mixture to the point that they are heated properly but don’t actually “cook” into a solid. You do occasionally get some bits of egg material that end up cooking, but you just strain these out before serving.

    I assume you ask about the eggs becasue of the danger of Salmonella or other diseases. Well, for anyone with those types of concerns, I’ll let you in on a few secrets:

    1. You do not actually have to boil anything to sterilize it. Water boils at 212F. Anything you could possibly kill by this method will be dead at 140F, well below boiling. What this means in general is that if you are ever in a situation with unsafe water and are told to “boil it for 20 minutes,” that’s a load of crap. All that will do is waste fuel heating the water and waste drinkable water by boiling it away. If your water even reaches boiling, you have already killed the harmful microorganisms.

    What this means for egg nog is that you don’t have to heat it quite high enough to convert the egg proteins to solids in order to make it safe for consumption. Just monitor the temperature and you can keep it a smooth liquid.

    2. Salmonella occurs on the surface of the egg shell, not inside the egg. What this means is that if you have an unbroken egg (no cracks in the shell at all), you can sterilize it by washing in a diluted bleach solution (and then rinsing under water).

    3. Certain states (California for one) require that commercially sold eggs be sprayed with a chemical that kills salmonella and other organisms. This means that eggs purchased at the grocery store *should* be safe raw. Of course, this depends on local health law. Also, how well you trust the enforcement of such laws is going to be a personal matter.

  19. Alan De Smet says:

    @Blackbird71: The American Egg Board, who have lots of incentive to claim that eggs are perfectly safe and can cure cancer, says “The inside of an egg was once considered almost sterile. But, over recent years, the bacterium Salmonella enteritidis (Se) has been found inside a small number of eggs. Scientists estimate that, on average across the U.S., only 1 of every 20,000 eggs might contain the bacteria.” As they point out, the risk of getting an infected egg is very, very small, but it’s not impossible.

    Me, I like my yolks liquid in fried eggs, and I like eggnog with raw eggs. I’ll take the risk.

    Mmm, now I want eggnog.

  20. Quicksilver_502 says:

    being a brit, iv’e never tasted egg nog but it doesn’t exactly have the most appetising of names.

  21. asterismW says:

    I’m in the “Love it!” camp. I had pumpkin eggnog once which, disappointingly, tastes just like eggnog. Needs more pumpkin!

    Teldurn, have you tried eggnog ice cream?

  22. SiliconScout says:

    Eggnog…. or as my daughters call it “Christmas Milk”.

    5 people in my family 2 drinkers, 2 absolute haters and me who is in the 1/2 a glass a year is all I need.

    Seriously, had me 32 oz of eggnog and a good 20 of it are going down the drain.

    *shudder* Thank the Maker that now that I am an adult with a family of my own I don’t have to choke that stuff down.

  23. SoldierHawk says:

    Awww I completely love Eggnog. Especially spiked of course, but I like the taste enough I’ll drink it happily without the alcohol too.

    Great comic anyway, Shamus. ;-)

  24. Magnus says:

    As an Englishman, I am completely baffled by the concept of “egg-nog”, and I have never had the (dis)pleasure of consuming said product.

    I think I’ll stick to my tea, thanks all the same. You Americans enjoy yourself though!

  25. Davie says:

    It’s not hard at all. You’re the crazy one! The stuff is delicious, especially with a little rum added. Still, great comic.

  26. Zombie Pete says:

    Egg nog lattes = :-)

    Rum-spiked egg nog = :-) :-)

  27. Blackbird71 says:

    Of course, while we’re on the subject of holiday beverages, we can’t forget the lesser known (at least in the US) favorite: wassail! Essentially 2 parts apple cider to 1 part orange juice and a bit of cinnamon and spice, stewed for a bit and oh so delicious!

    If you want a bit of a twist, try pineapple juice in place of the OJ :)

  28. Amadan says:

    Heh… right there with ya… never liked the slimy stuff much m’self.
    I do get a kick out of the several Englishmen and their various dismissals, as we almost certainly got the beverage from them. Check out a recipe for posset, a likely ancestor.
    Y’all over there never carried it into the modern era as a traditional beverage because your population density in the pre-refrigeration industrial era was too high for the common man to get easy access to perishable farm goods like milk & eggs. Too much demand, not enough supply, same reason y’all came up with that vile treacle stuff instead of using good old bee spit.

  29. LintMan says:

    I like a glass or two of ‘nog at Christmas time, and that leaves me pretty much good to go for another year.

  30. Teldurn says:

    @JohnW 17: Yes, but I don’t drink coffee, so that’s one beverage that I’ll have to skip.

    @asterismW 22: Yes, I love eggnog ice cream!!

  31. Cuthalion says:

    Eggnog makes me gag just to be in the same room. If my loving little brother waves it in my face, I feel a strong desire to vomit. I’ve tasted it a couple times and hated it.

    I’ve never liked egg though, and it took me awhile to get used to the nutmeg in pumpkin pie, so my aversion to eggnog is to be expected.

    I’ve wondered if there’s some chemical that’s present or absent in people’s mouths on a genetic basis that reacts to certain foods, causing their dislike and gag reflexes when presented with said foods.

  32. Armagrodden says:

    I enjoy eggnog. I do wonder how it came about, though. It’s like someone said “I’m thirsty, but I really want pancakes…”

  33. Unbeliever says:

    OK, I was going to post about how nobody could POSSIBLY love eggnog more than I do — it is truly the Food of the Gods — until I read Teldurn up there (reply #8) talking about putting it on his breakfast cereal.

    Teldurn — dude — you win. :)

    Anyone putting alcohol in it, though, is committing sacrilege.

    Just sayin’…

  34. Braccalak says:

    @Quicksilver_502, Magnus:

    The only thing American about eggnog is using rum instead of wine when we brought it over from England :P

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