Are Violent Videogames Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

By Shamus
on Mar 14, 2009
Filed under:
Movies

This week’s Unskippable featured no Stephen Blum, bringing their overall Blum content down to a disappointing 37%. (Although I did recognize the voice of Admiral Hackett from Mass Effect, who is voiced by Lance Henriksen.)

So instead of Unskippable this week, let’s look at an issue that affects our children.


Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

I stopped reading The Onion a few years ago when it felt like they were in a rut. This new (to me) video thing has really made the humor fresh again.

Enjoyed this post? Please share!


1414 comments. (Fourteen is the sum of the first three squares.)

From the Archives:

  1. Guus says:

    If only that were the real world of journalism, if only…

  2. LintMan says:

    I’ve felt the same way about The Onion – week to week, there’s not necessarily a lot of great funny stuff, but sometimes they pull out something that’s dead-on *awesome*, and then I feel guilty that I don’t read them more often.

  3. Corsair says:

    This is actually legitimate journalism: How many of us really WOULD survive in a Post-Apocalyptic Hell World?

  4. Avaz says:

    I saw this a couple weeks ago, and it is still just as funny. I especially love the Fallout 3 reference :D

    Edit: What happened to my wavatar? It was different before. I haven’t changed my email or anything. O_o;

  5. Spearhead says:

    That video was nice XD

    Though i have to say, SteVen Blums number of roles he’s done is quite impressive, looking at his Wikipedia article… Anime, Cartoons, Movies, Games… phew

  6. vdgmprgrmr says:

    Yes, they are preparing children for the impending apocalypse.

    Thus, we need to start encouraging their development! Make game-related expenses (for games labeled specifically as “Certified Apocalypse Simulation”) tax-deductable! Require that each city have at least one retail outlet dedicated to video games, and that each of those have at least 10% of their stock have CAS (Certified Apocalypse Simulation) status (and that that 10% be evenly divided between nuclear apocalypse, zombie apocalypse, alien apocalypse, etc.)! Socialize game development!

    Ah, wait, no one in government would agree to that. Well, back to utopian day-dreams, it is.

  7. gyfrmabrd says:

    Apart from the a little heavy-handed punchline, that was really nicely done.
    I also heartily recommend the “New Sony F***ing Piece of S**t” video!

  8. Carra says:

    Playing fallout 3 on your own all day is the best way to survive the solitude of a post apocalyptic disaster.

    How can one argue with that?

  9. Zaghadka says:

    A tiny slice of awesome in a lemon pie world. Thanks.

  10. vdgmprgrmr says:

    @Carra: I can’t argue that it would help solitary mental conditions, but I can argue the basis of the argument; I doubt you would be all alone in a real apocalypse scenario. Chances are most people in the world would either die or join a group of people. Safety in numbers and such.

  11. Julian says:

    I hope they invent Pip-Boys by then. It seems less painfull to click on a Stimpak than to actually inject yourself with it. That and the ability to stop time and all that ^^

  12. SolkaTruesilver says:

    Makes me think of a Full Frontal Nerdity comic strip. Been trying to find it…

  13. Carra says:

    @vdgmprgrmr. There’s an obvious solution to this. Add multiplayer to fallout 3!

  14. SolkaTruesilver says:

    http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/ffn/index.php?date=2007-06-20

    Found the webpage I talked about.

    So.. what did you learned out of those video games, people?

Leave a Reply

Comments are moderated and may not be posted immediately. Required fields are marked *

*
*

Thanks for joining the discussion. Be nice, don't post angry, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be fun.

You can enclose spoilers in <strike> tags like so:
<strike>Darth Vader is Luke's father!</strike>

You can make things italics like this:
Can you imagine having Darth Vader as your <i>father</i>?

You can make things bold like this:
I'm <b>very</b> glad Darth Vader isn't my father.

You can make links like this:
I'm reading about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Vader">Darth Vader</a> on Wikipedia!

You can quote someone like this:
Darth Vader said <blockquote>Luke, I am your father.</blockquote>