Night Owl Dark Roast

  By Shamus   Mar 13, 2009   36 comments

The ad at Amazon.com proclaims: The world’s first movie tie-in coffee! Nite Owl Dark Roast from Veidt Enterprises.

What’s next? LutherCorp brand toupees? Trioptimum laptops? CyberDyne Self-Aware Can Openers? Umbrella corporation umbrellas? This is crazy. Marketing has now gone too far.

Hang on. I just realized I would actually buy all that stuff if I could.

Nevermind.

201636 comments. Hurry up and add yours before it becomes passé.


  1. ima420r says:

    I don’t want my can opener to be self aware. When the machines take over, how will I survive if I can’t open my canned goods?

    Oh, and there are already Umbrella Corp umbrellas.
    http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/b4e7/

  2. ThaneofFife says:

    Personally, I want a Cyberdyne self-aware laptop (who says I have to pick just from the list?).

    They’re fun to play with, just never NEVER connect them to the internet. ;-P

  3. K says:

    Umbrella corporation umbrellas. Definitely.

  4. JFargo says:

    Luthercorp Class Rings. They glow in the dark!

  5. Kilmor says:

    Don’t forget the Brawndo energy drinks, from the movie Idiocracy. My best friend got a case of them, pretty good actually.

  6. Ritch says:

    Rorschach Baked Beans should be the next thing.

    “Never compromise… not even in the face of flatulence.”

  7. Alex says:

    Pardon the nitpick, and I wouldn’t blame you for deleting this post, but the phrase “never mind” is still two words and not to be confused with the title of Nirvana’s major-label debut (which, arguably, has multiple meanings which don’t all have to do with the phrase “never mind”).

    Sorry. Pet peeve of mine. :-)

  8. Larryboy says:

    FYI: the Umbrella Umbrella already exists… sort of
    http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/b4e7/

  9. Luke Maciak says:

    The Umbrella corporation umbrella @ think-geek looks like a total ripoff. I mean, it looks exactly like the type of umbrella you can buy at your local supermarket for like $5 from the “impulse buy” bin near the counter. :P

  10. I bought some of this because:
    1) DUH. It’s watchmen tie in merch. and it was reasonably priced.
    2) Its organic. I have a good friend who comes over and is on a solely organic diet right now. She and I can share in a hot cup of coffee.
    3) It looks really good on my toy shelf.
    4) Its really good! I didn’t expect this one and I will probably buy more products from this company.
    5) The company that makes it is non-profit. Yep, one of the people involved in the production of the movie owns the company and he was granted permission to use the names and logos and such to increase awareness of the plight of indigenous people in Africa and South America. So it is for a good cause.

    I cannot recommend it enough. Like I said I was pleasantly surprised by the rich cocoa and smooth nutty
    flavor. It is beans so you’ll have to grind it yourself, but it is worth the effort.

  11. Deoxy says:

    LutherCorp brand toupees? … I just realized I would actually buy all that stuff if I could.

    Um, except that one, right? Last I checked, you’ve got hair.

    But otherwise, yeah, point taken. Heh.

  12. Shinjin says:

    Marketing has now gone too far.

    It went “too far” a long long time ago. We can thank George Lucas* and/or saturday morning cartoons in the 80s for that.

    *On that note, the other day I heard a story on NPR about a fake ad for a perfume (also fake) called Greed. It was described as having Michelle Williams and Natalie Portman wrestling on the floor over a vial of the product. The ad appears at an art installation in Europe (Paris?).

    Anyway, the artist stated that the actresses were chosen since they don’t do product promotions. I had a WTF moment as I heard that. How can anyone be in a Star Wars movie and *not* consider themselves doing a product promotion. When it comes down to it, that’s all those movies are. 1.5h long ads for toys and other promotional productions.

    While I do enjoy the movies (yes, even the more recent ones), I don’t kid myself that Lucas made these for any reason other than to sell more Star Wars branded products.

  13. Shinjin says:

    Say, wouldn’t the Nite Owl coffee make more sense as a movie tie-in if the fire rescue scene hadn’t been trimmed down? I’m sure that the director’s cut will include it, considering that we see Silk Spectre II stowing cups after they drop off the citizens.

  14. food4worms says:

    What about Repo Man’s Food-brand cans of food?

  15. Kevin says:

    Yet another realm in which Japan is light-years ahead of the US (and yes, I know a light-year is a unit of distance, not time… I’m using distance as a metaphor for progress). I’ve yet to see a Dr. Manhattan vibrator. :(

  16. Derek K. says:

    As an unabashed
    Star Wars geek I say unto you “So?”

    I like my SW stuff. I love that I have a wookie on my rear window and my wife has a rebel alliance logo. I enjoy my bobbleheads and my coffe mug, and I’d like to get a custom saber and a clone helmet. it makes it more fun overall.

  17. Shinjin says:

    As an unabashed
    Star Wars geek I say unto you “So?”

    Because this is what spawned Jar Jar Binks, Ewoks, “roger roger”, etc.

  18. Viktor says:

    All of that is fine. However, the Rorschach and Nite Owl action figures I saw the other day…

    Seriously, if the man who was willing to kill a city wouldn’t sell them, why would anyone even consider it?

  19. Her Geek says:

    I’m surprised they aren’t selling Nostalgia perfume as well, even though it wasn’t really a part of the movie.

  20. Tizzy says:

    Shinjin @12:
    While I do enjoy the movies (yes, even the more recent ones), I don’t kid myself that Lucas made these for any reason other than to sell more Star Wars branded products.

    Hmmm… that’s like, your opinion, man…

    Seriously: I’m afraid the main explanation is an ego thing. I doubt the guy really needed the cash, he’s not the Rolling Stones!

  21. R4byde says:

    Didn’t Square-Enix release Final Fantasy soda a few years back?

  22. Scourge says:

    I would settle with Umbrella Beauty Make up… Just like in the first RE movie…

    Hehehe…

  23. I want a Shodan OS for my PC. Oh, the excitement!

  24. vdgmprgrmr says:

    TriOptimum laptops?

    ME WANTZEZ!

    I will either find one, or make one.

    Hopefully, I’ll be getting a laptop within the next year and, dammit, it will look like a TriOp employee-issue computing device!

  25. Derek K. says:

    shinjin, I understand your point, but I don’t buy it. It’s not like Star Wars was high art that was tainted by the foul touch of commerce. It’s a rockingly good space opera that steals from lots of sources.

    If you’re suggesting that Lucas is catering to kids, maybe. But plenty of stuff does that w/o tie-ins.

  26. Decius says:

    Actually, I bet Tri-op corporate decals would sell pretty well. I might even use make a tri-op cutout case mod.

  27. Lain says:

    Pffffffff. Old news.

    In turkey is a city existing, called Batman…

  28. Coffee says:

    I remember SquEnix releasing Mana soda.

    I just watched the Watchmen, and it didn’t make me want to riot. In a good way or a bad way.

  29. wildweasel says:

    That does it: the next laptop I buy is going to be customized into a Tri-Optimum laptop, complete with System Shock themed visual and sound settings. =P

  30. Andrey Shchekin says:

    I couldn’t care less for remaining ones, but Watchmen coffee (and Watchmen game) make me wish Alan Moore had a power to vaporize stupid greedy people.

  31. MissusJ says:

    @ Andrey Shchekin: Read comment #10, where the coffee is described as not only organic, but released by a non-profit company.

    @ everyone: Not only does the Umbrella Corporation Umbrella exist on ThinkGeek (earlier commments have links), but in the recent CG Resident Evil movie (Degeneration?) Claire Redfield picks up a red and white umbrella in an attempt to leave a room and look for more survivors. She looks at it and says, “huh, Didn’t see that coming”, and then goes on. The movie was pretty good, BTW.

  32. Namfoodle says:

    When I hear “Umbrella Corp” I get it mixed up with Umbrella Academy and wonder why the umbrella is the wrong color.

  33. Namfoodle says:

    Shamus: I just noticed that you threadjacked yourself twice! I think your comment above belongs in another post…

  34. MuonDecay says:

    There is a CyberDyne company. A CyberDyne Cybernetics company, in fact.

    http://www.cyberdyne.jp/english/

    Their exoskeletal suit is actually very respectable, too.

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