The Kinaesthetic Pastiche Buffet
This is a good spot to end for the week. Next week the plan is to have the final two entries, which will end Half-Life 2. After that, we’ll have the second half of 8 by Zombies.
The timeline of Half-Life 2:
You arrive early in the morning on day one. Note that because the Valve artists know what they are doing, you can tell it’s morning just by the angle and color of the light. Fight your way through the canals, do the water hazard thing, and arrive at Black Mesa East just before sunset. Then after that strenuous day you
have a hot meal and sleep for ten hours go through Ravenholm.
You emerge from the mines at the start of day two. There’s the trainyard and then you get in the buggy. You get to New Little Odessa and get the rocket launcher, then drive more buggy. Then you do the crane puzzle and drive more buggy. Then you do the huge bridge section and drive more buggy. The dark tunnel, then more buggy. Then the battery puzzle and more buggy. Then a little more buggy, and you finally arrive at the lighthouse. Then you tiptoe through the sandtraps, fight the big antlion, and arrive at the refugee camp at sundown. At the refugee camp, you
eat a can of cold baked beans and sleep for twelve hours learn how to shepard antlions and charge off to Nova Prospekt. We can’t see the sun from within the combine base, but I think it’s safe to just assume that you teleport away near dawn.
Ignoring the skipped week, you arrive at the lab at the start of day three. At the lab, you
collapse and sleep for sixteen hours team up with dog and go charging off into the city. Urban combat. Strider combat. Refugees. Urban combat. Manhacks. Striders, etc etc etc. You arrive at the horse (just where today’s episode ended) in the late afternoon. You enter the Citadel and ruin everyone’s day with the super gravity gun. Your confrontation with Breen takes place right at sunset at the end of day three.
Judging by the opening of Episode One, SPACE MAGIC saves you from the exploding tower and Gordon finally gets a good night’s sleep at the bottom of a pile of rubble. Alyx and dog dig you out at the start of day four. Refreshed and feeling jaunty after your rubble nap, you fight through the bowels of the city and escape the exploding Citadel by train just before sunset on day four.
Episode Two begins in the morning, so we can assume Gordon got another good night’s sleep, this time in a tangle of twisted metal at the back of the railcar. Episode Two seems to mark the passing of another day, ending once again at sunset.
Someone give that guy an energy bar or something. He must be starving by now. Then again, the game never explains how you apply those medkits. Maybe you… eat them?
The Kinaesthetic Pastiche Buffet
Push the Button!
Scenes from Half-Life 2:Episode 2, showing Gordon Freeman being a jerk.
Two minutes of fun at the expense of a badly-run theme park.
Marvel's Civil War
Team Cap or Team Iron Man? More importantly, what basis would you use for making that decision?
Starcraft 2: Rush Analysis
I write a program to simulate different strategies in Starcraft 2, to see how they compare.
The Best of 2013
My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2013.