Knight Rider

By Shamus
on Feb 7, 2006
Filed under:
Movies

Seeing as how the Dukes of Hazard have made the big screen, I don’t imagine it will be many years before Knight Rider gets a similar treatment. So who would be good to play the main characters?

Michael Knight

Ben Affleck. Affleck and Hasslehof have a lot in common in that neither one has much acting depth, but they have one character that they can play very well. Affleck is likeable and handsome (or so the ladies tell me) and he seems like a good fit. While in real life he seems to be a bad boy, his on-screen persona is of a tough but good-natured hero. That fits this role fairly well.

KITT (voice)

You don’t really need to replace William Daniels. He’s still alive, and I doubt his voice has changed much in the last 20 years. But, in keeping with the spirit of the thing, let’s replace him with Douglas Rain. He’s 78 years old, but he’s still alive and I think he’d be good for the part. What, you don’t recognize his picture? Well, perhaps this one will ring a bell.

KITT (car)

I think it should go without saying that the movie would need to replace the oh-so-80’s Pontiac Trans-Am with something more trendy. I suggest the DODGE Viper GTS. I think the little red lights / scanner thingee could go on the front without ruining the look of the car.

Edward Mulhare

This was the fabulously rich guy who nonetheless rode around in an eighteen wheeler, giving our hero stuff to do each week. For the role of an older dignified Englishman, you can’t go wrong with Michael Caine .

Bonnie Barstow / April Curtis

Despite the fact that this is a show about a man with a rebuilt face that drives around the country fighting crime with a self-aware car that defies the laws of physics, I think the hardest part of the show to believe was the mechanic. We’re talking about a supermodel / covergirl type woman who does her hair, slips on some high-heels, and puts on makeup every moring so she can go to work as a mechanic from the back of an eighteen wheeler. I think we’ll have self-aware cars long before we have any women like that.

For this role I think Jewel Staite is a good fit. You may remember her as Kaylee from Firefly. She’s attractive, but has that down-to-earth quality that makes her a believable mechanic.

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1313 comments. That's a baker's dozen.

From the Archives:

  1. marcus says:

    Ben Affleck as a ‘knight rider’ character is a really dumb idea.

    Here are my reasons:

    1. He does lame ‘romantic comedies’.

    2. The guy has been in only one action movie ‘daredevil’.

    3. He is tabloid fodder, nothing more and nothing less, a
    very boring actor.

  2. Telas says:

    I’d have to disagree… Affleck brings that “shallow but pretty idiot” factor that is so critical to the Knight Rider franchise. Is Ben Stiller available?

    And Kaylee, er Jewel is typecast. You’d want Pamela Anderson or someone of that ilk.

    IMHO, the whole thing should be done so tongue-in-cheek that it makes Batman look like a documentary. (Not the Tim Burton Batman, but the original, with Adam West.)

  3. Some random internet guy says:

    “For the role of an older dignified Englishman, you can’t go wrong with Michael Caine”

    Gah!
    What it is with Americans? There are other English actors in the world other than Mr Caine (England is full of them…).

  4. Some random internet guy says:

    —Afterthought—

    Mr Caine is seen over here as a ‘cockney’ This is a person who comes from the Eastend of london, and so is in fact more of a lower class sort of person.

    [goes off grumbling, bloody yanks]

  5. Ermel says:

    I think that the role of attreactive-young-woman-come-mechanic was already perfectly cast: Angelina Jolie as Sway, in “Gone in 60 Seconds”.

  6. alejandro_knight says:

    esto es una opinion o ya esta desidido ?

  7. sid says:

    come on drop that stupid viper!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet it cant leap over a trash can without it f-ing up.we need the original!

  8. sid says:

    NOT BEN!!!! TRASH HIM ,WE NEED THE GUY FROM -FAST AND FURIOUS.

  9. Kenny Celican says:

    I think you mixed your metaphors here Shamus – some of them are very tongue in cheek (Douglas Rain) and some are pretty good (Ben / Jewel). Seriously, move Caine to the voice of KITT, add a few years to Pierce Brosnan and use him as Edward.

    Of course, you could go campy, at which point the Stiller / Anderson hookup begins to make sense.

  10. Another Random Post says:

    Just to let everybody know, there is an entry in IMDB for Knight Rider(2008)

    As far as billing – I will gouge my eyes out if witness to another Ben Affleck mutilation. Go ahead and cast him if you’re aiming for another “Nick Cage in Ghost Rider” performance. *gags*. Affleck is not pretty enough and has absolutely no command of his characters.

    Michael Knight: Dwayne Douglas Johnson (The Rock); out of sheer morbid curiosity. He needs something to get his career going again…

    K.I.T.T. (Voice): You don’t mess with a good thing. William Daniels all the way.

    K.I.T.T. (Car): This depends on if you are looking for exotic “bling” or for funding/product placement.
    Bling = the Bugatti Veyron. It’s already smart looking, and needless to say, this car won’t need “boost” to jump over things.

    Product Placement = 2008 Saleen Camaro (this vehicle is a Rumor ATM, but Saleen has voiced his interest in production if legalities permit such a venture), the grill is already structured perfectly for the sweeping light servo we all know so well. This is probably the most logical choice for more than just logistical reasons.

    Devon Miles: David Bowie…with graying hair. He’s pretty flexible (character wise) and can be a damn decent actor given a proper script and good direction, “The Prestige” is a good example.

    Bonnie Barstow / April Curtis: I think that Charlize Theron should be in this billing. Shes got shape, isn’t fragile, and would look good in mechanics cover-all’s with superfluous grease and dirt marks on her face and arms.

    This would be a decent casting of a “TV show”-gone-movie based around a car. Pepsi would probably need some product placement in there as well, just to help with budget.

  11. Valley says:

    I think the Viper had a TV series at one point already…sorry…

  12. Kimera says:

    I liked the tv movie… lets use that cast and call it good kthanx

  13. John Ralph says:

    ’80s not 80’s.

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