Jay is soliciting suggestions for common (humorous) gaming clichés. This can apply to tabletop RPG’s or the computer-assisted variety. He’s looking for common tropes like these. Here are my suggestions:
- It doesn’t matter if you’re in a village of two houses and a barn, the blacksmith has enough cash on hand to buy your $10,000,000 enchanted mithril sword.
- As I’ve pointed out elsewhere: Backpacks are soundproof and distribute the weight of its contents evenly over the body of the wearer. The item desired is always on top. The backpack ITSELF has no weight. And that’s just the NON MAGICAL backpacks.
- Bandits are fearless: You may be the legendary hero of the land, riding by in your suit of +10 mithril armor with your staff of gattling gun fireballs, but the bandits will always look at you and think, “Bah. I can take him.”
- Bandits always fight to the death.
- Actually, everybody fights to the death.
- Prophesy comes from innocent doe-eyed children or cryptic old hags. Prophets are never normal people like blacksmiths or barkeeps who can just give you a straight answer.
- The job of “running a village” or “being a blacksmith” requires you to stand in place night and day, just in case the hero stops by to talk.
- Sleep cures all wounds. Poisoned? Stabbed? Horribly burned? Arrow in your gizzard? Just sleep it off.
- Horses are just hairy motorcycles: Fearless, tireless, needless.
- Unlike modern mines, shafts dug in the middle ages are always nice, neat, square corridors where you never have to stoop. Miners tend to dig random, meandering tunnels until they unearth some horror, at which point they lock all of their valuables into scattered chests, board the place up, and go look for someplace to dig a new shaft.
- Crypts and tombs are usually huge, multi-level underground complexes that dwarf the size of the associated town. They are always haunted by the reanimated folks buried there.
- The ecosystem consists entirely of large carnivores. No small mamals. No docile creatures.
So how about it? What absurd things do we take for granted in RPG gameworlds?
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