Spoiler Warning S5E42: You Can’t Get There From Here

By Shamus
on Jul 26, 2011
Filed under:
Spoiler Warning

Fair warning: This week of Spoiler Warning is really strange. I don’t know why, but every single member of the cast takes a turn at going absolutely bonkers at some point this week.


Link (YouTube)

Just wait. It only gets worse from here.

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A Hundred!206There are 126 comments here. I really hope you like reading.

From the Archives:

  1. Perseus says:

    Spoiler Warning gangbang parody called Spoil Her Wedding

  2. kuyo says:

    you could each go as one of the different incarnations of Cuftbert with Mumbles playing the infamous space cannibal Regina Shepard.

  3. MrWhales says:

    I hope there is more crazy Shamus.

  4. Saurous says:

    For some reason it amuses me to imagine the people of the wasteland viewing water as too precious to use for bathing, and being forced to use hundred-year-old bottles of Chardonnay instead.

  5. X2-Eliah says:

    I strongly approve of the weirdness.

    Btw, bioshock 2 is the next game, then? Could be interesting to see why it fails to live up to the first bioshock (which was truly the first of its kind and not based on another, earlier and arguably better game at all, oh no).

  6. Sekundaari says:

    When Josh said something about a moustache and gnawing off an arm (?) and then announced the beer withdrawal, I thought he was making some weird beard pun.

    I wonder how often something goes wrong and you have to try to say every interesting thing a second time. There was this one particular Ruts Plays episode that comes to mind…

  7. Vect says:

    House doesn’t care about the Khans because of all the factions they won’t bother him in the least. The Boomers have a metric shitton of artillery. The Omertas are a “shifty pack of rats” in the words of Swank on his home turf that he knows are up to something and the Brotherhood are the biggest immediate threat after the NCR and the Legion due to their technophilia. The Khans are just “rabble” as Rutskarn says and will be dealt with in the final battle where they’ll get rockets up the wazoo when they fight for the Legion. If they want to sit in their canyon getting high and talking about how awesome they are then who’s he to bother them?

    The Fiend-hunting quest just means no headshots or anything that completely obliterates them, like Bloody Mess kills or Energy Weapon crits that reduce them to piles of goo/ash. Giving the guy a mangled head just means a lesser bounty (“Well, it’s close enough I guess but I can’t pay you the full bounty for… Whatever the hell this is”). Their names are Cook-Cook, Violet and Driver Nephi. They have some cut dialog that’s actually pretty hilarious, especially Violet (who talks exactly as you’d expect a tweaked-out cannibal who lives with dogs to talk) and Cook-Cook (who sounds just plain sleazy).

    • Chuck says:

      Fun trivia, I always do that mission before going to Jacobstown, so even though Doc Henry points you to Old Lady Gibson, I’m like “here, use this one, it’s from a Fiend’s pet.”

      And I always help Corporal Betsy. Those are the kind of quests I think that add a human element to the bits of coding that we call npc’s.

      • Vect says:

        I never use the Fiend dog brain. It always seemed wrong for me to mess up Rex with memories of Turbo and mansteak. I always just used Gibson’s dog.

        Yeah, that quest was pretty nice. Also after you kill Cook-Cook you can tell Betsy and Pretty Sarah (madame in Westside who was also a victim) about it and they’ll give you stuff.

        • Chuck says:

          I see your point. I guess my thought line was “kill a dog, upset the owner, or hey, this dog’s all ready dead, maybe this poor thing’s brain can do some good.”

    • wyatt1048 says:

      I loved hoe, when you take their (intact) heads, they promptly explode, showering gore over the whole area. Yeah… unmangled.

  8. Paul Spooner says:

    Yeah, we’re all definitely driving you mad and real people. Not sock puppets that Josh is running at all. Glad to see that the utter weirdness in the guise of fun has returned. It’s more fun when everyone is incoherent with despair and you don’t take the game so seriously.

  9. 4th Dimension says:

    Josh reminds me of that guy from Red Letter median in this episode. Monotonous voice, weird fetich for incinerator, and cruel and unussual psychological torture of his “guests”.

  10. TraderRager says:

    WE ARE NOT JOSH.

    THIS IS ULTIMATE PROOF.

    RETURN TO THE EXPERIM- Err, I mean FUN.

  11. Ingvar says:

    No, Shamus, I never watch the show and if I do, I never comment on YouTube.

  12. Eärlindor says:

    Okay daggummit, guys, I mean, DAGGUMMIT!!! What the heck is you guys’ problem??? In Mass Effect I was crazy! Now in Fallout, I’m a dick and a bastard! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!?!?! I am sick of the abuse. SICK OF IT!!!

    –Oh wait! You’re not talking about me… ah… awkward…

    Sorry, I… just forget I said anything…

  13. TheAngryMongoose says:

    Reginald only eats people when he’s drunk or high.

  14. Ringwraith says:

    Now Mumbles’ absence last week all makes sense! It was because Josh hadn’t yet trapped her in his evil scheme! Do you know how much trouble I went through to catch her? I mean come ooon…

    Errr… this is going to be a be good week, yeah, a very good week.

  15. Daemian Lucifer says:

    What the hell did violet die from?I mean Josh was reloading,and suddenly she melted away?Does that gun has some sort of lasting effect?

  16. LB says:

    Oh thank god, I was starting to suffer from reference-to-Incinerator withdrawal. It’s harsh, man. . Not as bad as bear withdrawal, of course.

    • LB says:

      Also, The Great Crash was without a doubt punishment from whatever created Josh (Cthulu, perhaps?) because he went too far in his pursuit to drive everyone insane.

  17. Wtrmute says:

    I must say, that was an awesome shot of Reginald with the Incinerator.

  18. Slothful says:

    Rutskarn and Mumbles are the same person.

  19. Raygereio says:

    Josh is the most efficient troll in history. He can drive people insane by not doing something.
    I know I already made just just, but I’m going to make it again. Everytime Josh exits a barter window without having sold the incinerator, or closes his inventory without having dropped the damned thing, it’s that next drop of water on Shame’s forehead during his Chinese water torture sessions we lovingly call Spoiler Warning.

    Also, was I the only that was annoyed with the Great Kahns? The whole Bitter Springs Massacre thing got me confused. Was I suppoed to feel sorry for the Kahns? The Kahns are not exactly nice people; they murder, rape, loot and do pretty much whatever they can to make the wasteland a worse place to live in.
    Then the NCR hits them back for attacking NCR civilian settlers and then all the Kahns can do is whine about how evil the NCR is. Gee, hypocrite much?

    • Raygereio says:

      I have no clue how the line:
      “I know I already made this joke”
      turned in to:
      “I know I already made just just”

    • Klay F. says:

      The problem comes from the fact that the NCR (an allegedly legitimate government) mowed down innocents. And yes, there ARE such things as innocents in these situations.

      I could make an obvious metaphor concerning what would happen were the U.S. to do the same thing, but I won’t.

      Yes, the Great Khans do terrible things to people. Does that make even the non-combatants deserving of extermination?

      • Raygereio says:

        No, there is no such thing as an innocent, non-combatant Khan. The women, children and elderly also loot, pillage and murder. If you see Khan women, children and elderly running at you, your first instict ought to be “shoot them for your own survival”, instead of “let’s offer them milk and cookies”.

        • Vect says:

          The game doesn’t really make you feel sorry for them. You make your own opinion. You’ll hear stories about how horrible that is while you’ll also hear Boone’s story about how it was a “miscommuncation” made by jackasses up top (said Major who made the order was merely demoted and put in charge of Bitter Springs refuge camp and in Boone’s bad ending will be killed in a murder-suicide). You’ll also hear from Bitter-Root, a member of 1st Recon who was born a Khan, about how the Khans were complete bastards who got exactly what they deserve.

          In the game, I always just get Papa Khan to take the Khans and go somewhere else since I really didn’t want to purge them. Not sure why, but they always end up coming to my help in the Independent endings.

          • Raygereio says:

            The game doesn’t really make you feel sorry for them. You make your own opinion.

            I guess, that would fit with the rest of the game. But there a couple of conversations between non-Khan/non-NCR NPC’s about how evil the NCR is for Bitterspring that had me confused as to what the game expected of me in regards to the Khans as I didn’t find anything similar talking about how the Khans are giant dicks to balance things out.

            Oh well. I shot every single one of the Khans anyways. Have fun raiding when you dead, Pappa Khan!

            • Vect says:

              That’s just common opinion of the local populace, who mostly don’t like the NCR that much. You get a closer-to-truth version from people who were actually there.

  20. GM says:

    did he take a incinerator, so did he drop one or take a second one :)

    • Hitch says:

      He’s dual-wielding incinerators now.

      When he’s not sniping with an energy weapon with no points in energy weapons from a standing position at a target that doesn’t matter and doesn’t realize he’s there until he shoots them.

  21. Kelly says:

    I can’t decide if I hate this episode or love it.

    Either way, you should all seriously do the rest of the DLC before finishing up New Vegas (well I guess not Lonesome Road since it’s probably not coming out in time, but yeah).

    As far as the Khans are concerned, the Great Khans are a splinter group from the remains of the New Khans from Fallout 2. It doesn’t really make sense how they evolved that particular form of culture from what were basically just regular raiders in 1 and 2, but I do like it and it makes them feel distinct. You should totally help them set up their Empire in Montana, Reginald Cuftbert’s New Vegas is going to need some friendly neighbors to help pillage the wastes and darken the Earth for 10,000 years.

  22. Gndwyn says:

    I spent 5 minutes staring at the YouTube preview wracking my brains trying to remember which Half-Life 2 weapon looked like that.

  23. bit says:

    Best.

    Episode.

    Ever.

    Oh, also, I’m doing the Great Khan’s quest now; And as a melee, and melee only, focused character, I just want to say…

    DEATHCLAWS OH GOD WHY DEATHCLAWS SO MANY DEATHCLAWS WHY…!?

  24. Rayen says:

    just letting you know you aren’t brains in a jars being fed false memories. so don’t even think that. definitely not brains in jars.

  25. Some Jackass says:

    Does prolonged Incinerator possession lead to madness?
    Spoiler Warning: Fallout New Vegas….sponsored by Aperture Science.

  26. gebiv says:

    At first I thought “Well at least the crash made him get rid of the extra Incinerator.” I couldn’t tell, but did he pick up another one anyways?

    You guys should do Oblivion next. Josh could create a magic user character and then spend the rest of the game running around in heavy armor and punching things.

  27. Sydney says:

    Reginald Cuftbert eats people. Yeoman Kelly eats varren.

  28. Museli says:

    So Veronica is cosplaying as some guy named Quasimodo? That name rings a bell…

  29. Marlowe says:

    Bring back Randy the anti-Josh, the only known force that can counter him.

  30. neon_goggles says:

    i gave Papa Khan a book on Mongols and got him to join with the N.C.R. once.

  31. Deadpool says:

    I didn’t kill the Kahns on my first playthrough.

    I PLANNED on it. I didn’t have the money for Ian, and I didn’t want to waste my supplies. So I went to Junktown, hoping I could level up and get better items and whatever. Got me a nice Rifle, Dogmeat and planned on taking them down from a strategic position.

    I went back and it turns out if you have Dogmeat and a Leather Jacket he thinks you’re the returned ghost of his brother… Got her back for free.

    Later playthroughs I also took Karn out one on one in a melee, as well as bartering (btw, I don’t think that was ransom. You talk him into giving up ransom but he still wants SOME compensation. High barter makes the cost REAL small).

    • John R. says:

      You needed crazy high luck (I think 9) to pull that off. I’m surprised nobody mentioned the easy way to get Tandi back for free, which was to make a speech check about how the Khans literally cannot comprehend how badass you are.

  32. Deadpool says:

    Btw, Dr. 0 was the BEST part of OWB. I cannot recommend that DLC enough though… I just wish we had time for Lonesome Road too… Maybe you guys could come back for a week special…

  33. AlternatePFG says:

    You spend the entire episode trying to get to the Great Khans but you never actually get there?

  34. JPH says:

    Rutskarn pretty much hit the nail in the head with those stupid invisible walls. That might have been my biggest frustration with New Vegas.

  35. Fang says:

    Hm… why does the end of this episode feel so familiar? Hm.

  36. Destrustor says:

    At 5:39, Rutskarn sounds eerily like Caboose from redvsblue.

  37. Littlefinger says:

    If I may be serious for a minute, I thought that you lot are more interesting when playing a more tightly controlled and plotdriven game like Bioshock or HL2, than with sandbox-type games like NVegas, because there is less time between the narrative parts and you can focus more on the story, setting, and cinematography (I loved the bits in HL2 where you discussed how various scenes were framed, eg the analysis at the part where you get your crowbar). Also, a big part of sandboxes is that they give/force more time wandering around or doing stuff completely unrelated to the main quest, but which is not interesting to talk about.

    At this point, my main reason for return is how you troll each other, rather than in-depth commentary. A large part is because of how long this has been going on, but I still can’t help but see it as a loss.

    Maybe something to consider when selecting your next game?

    • Harry says:

      I actually disagree. Sandbox games allow Josh and the team to get in some really crazy, hilarious situations, and explore options which I never did on my playthrough, while more narrative-driven stuff is boring to me simply because I know the story. While I thoroughly enjoyed the HL2 run, this was almost entirely because I hadn’t played through HL2 myself (yes, I know, blasphemy), but by contrast, I’ve found Bioshock and Mass Effect 2 to be the weakest and dullest seasons so far – simply because I knew what to expect from the game, so I lost all sense of interest or involvement, no matter how funny the group’s conversations were.

      I don’t want to start an argument – different strokes for different folks and all that – I just wanted to register my disagreement so that Shamus doesn’t think all his fans feel the same way.

    • Daemian Lucifer says:

      The end of bioshock was quite boring though.But I would like to see them play half life to the end.

      I dont really see the difference between the openess of the game and their commentaries,rather I see the difference between the games length and amount of stuff in it.While bioshock became stale,fallout 3 did not,for example.

  38. Spammy says:

    You stood in the door and abused the friendly-fire mechanics? I always shot a guy and then holed up in one of the indestructible cloth tents around the place and let them all file into my gun.

    …Kinda depressing that so-and-so number of years later, if they remade that encounter in this game, the tents are still indestructible. We’ve come so far and yet not far at all.

    • Hitch says:

      I always abused the timing mechanic that let you challenge the leader to a one-on-one bare knuckle fist fight then pull out a gun and shoot him after he agreed and before the game took your weapons away. made the fight easy and the Khans never gave you any trouble about cheating. They just said “He beat the leader in a fair fight. We better do what he says.”

  39. Even says:

    Oh I’m on to you now. You’re trying to deliberately murder anyone playing the drinking game. I know it. YOU’LL NEVER GET ME!!

  40. Hitch says:

    I was thinking about it a little while ago. Shamus has a point about the incinerator and other heavy items Josh insists on picking up. I’ve played 119 hours of Fallout New Vegas, but I think I’ve spent more time looking at Josh’s inventory screen than my own.

  41. Dante says:

    What does Rutskarn say at the end? I can’t understand it.

  42. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Did anyone else hear Mumbles say pear withdrawal?I wonder how can you get addicted to pears.

  43. Nice guys, SW is back in full force, although little progress was made in the game, the episode was great, messing around, some game lore facts, funny game mechanics.

    Oh and the volume levels of everyone was spot on, whatever the settings are Josh keep’em like that, I almost forgot now and again that you where not in the same physical location.

  44. Jabrwock says:

    I was a little disappointed in Veronica. I figured her reaction to you murdering everyone she knows and loves would be a bit more… I don’t know. Anything but “I guess I can’t work with you anymore”. I expected her to start pummeling you with her ballistic fists.

    Then again, maybe she’s not tied to the BoS’s faction points. So if they vilify you that’s just counted as a strong negative towards whether she’ll be your companion or not.

  45. Fat Tony says:

    YES RUTSKARN WRITE THE STORY OF CUFTBERT!

  46. Wes1180 says:

    Even I was starting to go a little crazy before the crash and i’m not even real.

  47. Venalitor says:

    Reginald Cuftbert:
    -100% blood alcohol, explosives, and aggravating wastes of time.
    Tandi’s ransom was either 600 or 800 caps. of course even with the skills: barter, steal, speech, it was easy to annihilate the Kahns early game. Submachine gun and leather armor from vault 15 and 10 agility. take turns with the boss hosing his guys, or shoot, run around corner. shoot, run around corner. or steal scum all their weapons (although, there were not many scums doing that).they were stronger in fallout 2 though.

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