Spoiler Warning S4E7: What Cover?

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Dec 8, 2010

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 122 comments

I don’t have time to watch the episode and do a proper post write up, but I’ve left you the template so you can fill it in yourself. Good luck!

[Short, playful intro that refers to the content of the episode. Then a setup for a lame joke.]


Link (YouTube)

[More in-depth commentary, clarifying things that were said in the episode. Then an attempt to counter-balance the episode. If it was too negative, then praise the game. If too much gushing, then kick the game a few times.]

[Some comments on how the series is going and what we plan to do.]

[A bit making fun of Josh’s playstyle.]

[A sign-off that cashes in on the lame joke setup at the start.]

 


From The Archives:
 

122 thoughts on “Spoiler Warning S4E7: What Cover?

  1. Tobias says:

    YouTube bickers that the video is private and won’t let me watch it.

    1. X2-Eliah says:

      [completely unrelated reply that serves as – even if unfair – the first-instance of this trend].

      As far as YouTube bickering about private videos and so on, hah, more like MeTube, right? … Guys?…Hello?..

      1. Fat Tony says:

        [A completely irrevevant and stupid comment]

        Hey gys, a flying penis!

        1. Joe says:

          [Person accidentally replying to the wrong post, leading to a horrible miscommunication about his sense of humor.]

          Haha! I get it!

  2. Sarah says:

    “This is a private video. If you have been sent this video, please make sure to accept the sender’s friend request.”

    Oh, shamuuuuuussss. You got some ‘splainin’ to dooooo.

  3. Yerushalmi says:

    [Complaint that the video is private even though multiple people have said so already.]

    [Snarky comment.]

  4. Samkathran says:

    [Teasing remark pointing out that Shamus forgot to set the video to public, again.]

    Edit: [Complaint that he was ninja’d!]

  5. General Karthos says:

    [Somewhat patronizing note that the last time this happened, it took a little while to clear up even though Shamus had already set the video to public.]

    [Out-of-date and no-longer-funny comment that the tubes must be clogged.]

  6. Mr Jack says:

    [Gushing comment about how I cannot wait to watch the video.]

  7. Mersadeon says:

    I really thought the “Video is private! Haha!” times were over when you changed to Youtube. ^^

    I’ve got to say – even though I like the new 15min episodes, I kinda miss Viddler. I liked those timestamp-comments. Often it made it even more funny. Traurig, traurig. (Sad, sad in german.)

  8. Mumbles says:

    Here I come to save the day!

    Should be public now.

    1. Irridium says:

      [insert comment about beez here]

    2. RTBones says:

      Did you use your mad geometry skillz to solve the puzzle?

      “Its like geometry. Use your geometry skills.” I cant tell you how much that line made me laugh – so much math in life.

      Geometry – the shape of what is, what has been, and what is yet to come.

      1. Mumbles says:

        This made my heart smile. I failed Geometry in high school and in college I took “The Art of Geometry” which was basically just explaining simple proofs enthusiastically on a chalk board.

        When I get drunk? I yell at people that I’m no mathematician. I have mad respect for people who are good at math and understand it. It’s like wizard shit to me.

        1. RTBones says:

          [bows humbly]

          I am an engineer who deals in for-mu-las math-matical
          My experience does cover vehicles aero-dynamical
          From Bernoulli we get pressure but Kutta-Jukowski lends a hand
          With translational rotational circulation ’round a span
          Empirical examples which are numerical and practical
          I am an engineer who deals in for-mu-las math-matical

          [hands Mumbles the bottle of Jameson]

          EDIT: Dear Gilbert & Sullivan – I am so, SO sorry….

          1. Shamus says:

            (Peers at you through monocle.)

            Indeed! Good show!

          2. Specktre says:

            Haha! That’s great.

          3. eri says:

            I think this fine poster deserves a round of applause.

          4. Irridium says:

            Now I want to play Geometry Wars.

          5. Audacity says:

            Bravo, Sir! Bravo!

          6. krellen says:

            It doesn’t quite scan, but I think we could tweak it to work, so bravo.

        2. Daemian Lucifer says:

          Im a doctor,not a mathematician!

  9. Mumbles says:

    Also I apologize for sounding like a screaming dinosaur.

    1. jdaubenb says:

      Why start apologizing now? ;)

    2. RTBones says:

      Ahh, sweet irony.

    3. Integer Man says:

      If you’re going to sound like a dinosaur, might as well make it an interesting one.

    4. Groboclown says:

      It’s all good, Mumbles. You had Josh saying that everyone was a backseat driver, when we know that it should be just you.

      Also, Pyros FTW.

      1. guy says:

        Pyros represent!

        Actually, I haven’t played TF2 in a while, and I play spy about as often as pyro.

    5. Michael says:

      To expound on Integer Man: the alternative is understanding what’s going on. I don’t know if you watch the finished product, or if you just read the article and the comments, so let me to paint you a picture of what us normal humans hear.

      [Open scene. Josh is headbutting Krogans, and stealing their lunch money.]

      RUTSKARN: Allow me to enlighten to all on the finer points of gravity-driven buoyant convection. When yo””

      MUMBLES: BEES! JOSH, RELEASE THE GEOMETRY BEES! NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GEOMETRIC BEES!

      SHAMUS: “”prestigious monk, but I””

      MUMBLES: WHY AREN’T YOU USING SPACE JUMP!? THIS WOULD GO SO MUCH FASTER IF YOU JUST USED SPAAAAAAAAACE JUUUUMP! SPAAACE JUMP!

      RUTSKARN: And that’s why I’m not allowed in Ohio anymore.

      [End scene. Tight zoom on Shepard’s corpse, hold for too long.]

      As you can clearly see, the humor ratio in this snippet of conversation clearly favors you. Keep doing what you do; you’re doing us all a favor.

      1. Jarenth says:

        All that summary is missing is one of Ruts’ trademark Groan-Inducing Pun-Bombs ™.

        Otherwise, spot on.

  10. Rem says:

    Mumbles, our saviour!

  11. Aulayan says:

    [Comment thanking Mumbles and stating that she is the only one that can help us viewers.]

    [Mockery of how many times Josh dies.]

    [Request to have Rutskarn’s Cat-Sweater pattern put on-line.]

  12. Nyaz says:

    Oh god! The cliffhanger ending! Will we ever know if Josh makes it out of there? Is he, perhaps, still playing that particular part of the game, over and over…?

  13. X2-Eliah says:

    This was a fun episode.

    Rutskarn and Mumbleses chemistr… erm, relatio… erm, interaction worked quite well, especially over Josh’s totaly inefficient Elmo-playstyle.

    (Also, vanguard? Pft! Should’ve gone Adept and use only your powers).

    Moar also, funny how utterly dull the gameplay looks when you’re watching.

    1. krellen says:

      I find it somewhat dull while playing too. Too much shooting, not enough bouncing along landscapes and discovering things.

      1. X2-Eliah says:

        Sarcastic or not, but I really do miss Mako and the open spaces.

        1. krellen says:

          I was totally serious. I love the Mako.

          The Hammerhead’s a good start, and handles better than the Mako, but they’re still implementing it on far too lineal levels and depriving players of a lot of the exploration fun that could be had in ME1.

          There’s a reason I’ve replayed ME1 (all the way through) at least six times. And I’ve got plans, in the near future, to finish a seventh and start an eighth.

          1. guy says:

            The hammerhead is worse at handling terrain than the Mako and is less sturdy. I couldn’t work up the will to do more than the first mission of firewalker because of it.

            1. krellen says:

              It needs to fly more, and you’re right about it being flimsy, but those are both variables that can be adjusted easily (just up the “how often you can jump in a row” bit and the “how many hit points it has” bit).

        2. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

          If only Bioware had approached the complaints with the “let’s fix it” attitude instead of “let’s remove it completely”. All the mako needed was functioning shock absorbers and mass when on ground.

          Well, adding a secondary control scheme, where you control it like vehicles in Halo wouldn’t hurt either, but it’s really about the mako being way too bouncy especially for an armored vehicle.

          1. BanZeus says:

            I dunno, if mass means I can no longer climb 75° slopes, I can deal with being a little bouncy.

            1. LadyTL says:

              You only got up to 75 degrees? My favorite part was making it climb 89 degree slopes. Ticked my husband off to no end because he kept insisting that couldn’t work.

            2. Aldowyn says:

              that just highlights the third part of the solution: Decent terrain generation.

            3. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

              Obviously it should allow changing the mass according to need. Like it was claimed in the codex, but apparently never actually applied in-game.

          2. eri says:

            I’m pretty sure BioWare just doesn’t know how to make games anymore.

            1. Avilan says:

              Well again, everybody has different tastes. Personally I find ME1 passable (The Mako is just as boring and pointless as the planet scanning, but with a “laughing at how dumb it looks” part in it too, the combat is laughably awful and the rest is very good), ME2 is WONDERFUL, Dragon Age:Origins is the best thing since Baldur’s Gate, and I have already pre-ordered Dragon Age 2.

              1. BanZeus says:

                Ask me now and I would say a lot of the Mako sections are unnecessary, but during my first playthrough when I wanted to see everything, collect everything, etc. driving around was great. Mass Effect did an awesome job of making me feel like the galaxy is a big place.

                ME2 still makes me feel like the galaxy is big, but it takes a “hard” sci-fi approach by making resources limited, IE you need to refuel.

                You know what, fine, yes ships need fuel: but why am I the one refueling the ship? Didn’t the old Normandy have someone to take care of that for me? For that matter, now I have to fly the ship myself so I can scan the planets myself, hopefully those probes aren’t just drop pods with a pick, a shovel and wheelbarrow so I have to mine my own unobtainium. And I need to seduce my secretary to get her to feed my fish? Cerberus installs a 400 gallon tank but couldn’t spring for a timer?

                Don’t even get me started on ammo, if you can bring me back from the dead, you can give me an assault rifle that doesn’t overheat, I had 6 or 7 of them myself when I killed Saren.

                Where’s my omnigel?

                You kids, get off my space-lawn!

                Edit: I agree, DragonAge is awesome.

    2. RTBones says:

      Must second first comment. Episode was fun. And funny. Funny fun, that sort of thing.

      EDIT: Second verse, same as the first! A little bit faster, a little bit worse!

    3. BanZeus says:

      Rutskarn and Mumbleses chemistr… erm, relatio… erm, interaction worked quite well, especially over Josh's totaly inefficient Elmo-playstyle.

      Aw yeah, linkin’ suit environments… :p

      I spend way too much time in Elmode® myself, and this early in the game you don’t have any evolved powers with 3 second cooldown so even the Adept is mostly firing short bursts with the SMG with the occasional singularity to break up the monotony.

      1. krellen says:

        I’m glad I’m not the only one that got that vibe from Mumbles and Rutskarn.

        1. Jarenth says:

          I’m fairly certain that vibe started back when Ruts challenged Mumbles to a suck-off.

          It’s been downhill from there, really.

  14. Zak McKracken says:

    [furious rant about the game kicking in the post although the episode clearly showed the game is waaay cooler than that]
    or, alternatively
    [furious rant about how you can let the game get away with that type of obvious design mistakes]

    Also:
    [Some remark that the series is getting better but the plans you just laid out are not quite to my liking — couldn’t you do it completely differently? That’d be much better!]

  15. Zukhramm says:

    Is it just me or did the whole episode go like this:

    Rutskarn: Joke
    Mumbles: “Ugh”
    Rutskarn: Joke
    Mumbles: “Yeach”
    Rutskarn: Joke
    Mumbles: “Eeaghgh”
    Rutskarn: Joke
    Mumbles: “Get back in the kitchen and make me a sweater!”

    1. jdaubenb says:

      You are missing:

      Josh: “If you kids don’t quiet down back there, I am going to turn this car around right now!”

      1. Syal says:

        Also Josh’s “I know what I’m doing!” quickly followed by death.

        1. Blanko2 says:

          “you shouldve stopped for directions back when i told you to!” by mumbles

  16. CTrees says:

    [read the article and the comments. just lurk, don’t comment. resolve to watch the video on getting home from work, likely forget.]

    [by filling in the fields in this comment appropriately, you delete the comment itself. fun, huh?]

  17. Kale says:

    [Amused comment about how the commentators have taken the joke and run with it, as expected]

    Is the kitchen a common knitting area?

    1. RTBones says:

      Knittin’ for a kitten in the kitchen. That sounds like a bizzare (sp?) resolution for the boardgame Clue gone plaid.

  18. Daemian Lucifer says:

    [kudos]

    [kudos for having daily episodes]

    [a comment how this section is much easier when you are an infiltrator]

    [something about ashley being a bitch]

    [a link for award winning movie trailer]


  19. [A sign-off that cashes in on the lame joke setup at the start.]
    Ah, I see what you did there. *laughs*

    BTW! Shamus, nice dry deadpan humor (or is it called black humor?) going there :)

  20. Irridium says:

    So… did anyone else see Josh take 4 rockets right to the head near the end(around 12:30 or so)?

    Or am I just going crazy and seeing things?

    OH! Also, fun fact: You can use Medigel to heal you. Its true. Its just not really worth it since your health regenerates.

    1. Integer Man says:

      Looked like it to me. Was pretty nice. He was “in cover” though.

    2. Daemian Lucifer says:

      When in cover rockets cant hurt you,even when it seems like they are hitting you in the face.

      1. Heron says:

        Not true. Just last night (or was it Sunday night?) I died a most frustrating death because a missile killed me while I was in cover. I’m not sure if it was splash damage that killed me, or if I was just really unlucky, but it did kill me.

        Also, somehow I ended up on top of a two-foot-tall rock during Jacob’s loyalty mission and the engine wouldn’t let me back down… (I guess I might fall and hurt myself?) Saving and reloading didn’t help; fortunately the game had autosaved shortly before that, while I was on the ground, but after the fight…

        1. guy says:

          That happens pretty often. I think the game engine can’t handle curved shapes properly and treats them sort of like cubes.

        2. Taellosse says:

          Yeah, there’s a spot where that’s happened to me on two separate occasions in that mission–same place, both times. It is indeed annoying.

          1. guy says:

            It happened to me several times in different places in that mission and occasionally on other missions.

        3. Simon Buchan says:

          Managed to fall out of the world on the derelict reaper. So that was fun.

  21. Integer Man says:

    Sociopathic Oath – I love it.

    Does that mean you have to become a Sociopathological liar as well? What would that entail? Habitually lying for the general purpose of trolling society?

    1. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

      At the same point I thought “Shotgun Fever”. Only way of getting down the heat, is blasting it into others.

      Then I thought “Shotgun blues” and remembered the time I played co-op Quake over LAN with a friend and had a Guns ‘n’ Roses CD inside. Never again.

  22. Rutskarn says:

    Here’s my go at the intro:

    Well, it’s time for another watching three people talk about videogames while an awesome cat-knitting maverick drops jokebombs on y’all noggins. A horse walks into a bar.

    In this episode, we watch Josh shoot dudes and homeless guys with gnarly teeth, and Rutskarn is awesome. The game was pretty good, except when it sucked.

    Rutskarn is going to keep being awesome.

    The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”

    1. jdaubenb says:

      Truly a tour de horse.

      1. Supernaut says:

        No! no puns I will have none of this HORSING AROUND!

        1. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

          It’s all in good fun. Don’t be such an ass.

          1. Audacity says:

            Personally, I’m chomping at the bit in anticipation of the next godawful pun.

            1. BanZeus says:

              I’m glad I’m not saddled with that responsibility.

              1. guy says:

                Enough with trotting out puns!

                1. Ramsus says:

                  [Equine related pun that requests the previous poster to cease complaints about puns]

                2. Irridium says:

                  I’d say a pun, but my voice is rather hoarse, so yeah.

    2. Mumbles says:

      Here’s a fun joke.

      How many Rutskarns does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

      Answer: Who cares? Why isn’t he in the kitchen making me a cat sweater?

      1. jdaubenb says:

        Well maybe you should have kept a tighter rein on him then.

        1. BanZeus says:

          She’s putting the spurs to him as is, what more do you want?

      2. Integer Man says:

        Wow…

        Wait a minute? Why is the kitchen the universal source of cat sweaters? Are you implying that he is incapable of making a cat sweater from his underground bunker? Or incapable of passing a speech check to make the cat make a sweater out of itself?

        For shame!

        1. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

          Ah, fur sweater. Truly the clothing of choice for an outgoing modern individual.

        2. Mumbles says:

          I’m saying the only thing he’s good for is punny sammiches and cat sweaters. In the kitchen. Call me sexist! Call me roomist! I don’t care I do what I want!

          1. X2-Eliah says:

            This totally needs to end with “I’m on a horse!”

      3. Blanko2 says:

        really its a tale as old as time:
        boy reveals a talent for knitting, calls girl “muh-mo-marbles”
        girl says boy is girly and demands a cat sweater knitted
        boy makes horrible pun, relationship falls apart.

        am the only person that cannot read the words “tale as old as time” and immediately get the beauty and the beast song stuck in my head?

        1. krellen says:

          No, you are not the only person. And damn you for writing them.

      4. Nidokoenig says:

        I’ve been playing too much Dorf Fort: when I hear cat sweater, I think sweater made from cat fur. Which is odd, because dwarves are notoriously anti-fur- they shave kittens before they slaughter them, so a dwarven cat sweater would be more like a padded leather shirt.

        Pleasant dreams.

        Also, I didn’t know Rutskarn was small enough to fit in a lightbulb, let alone screw in one.

        1. BanZeus says:

          In the long run, wouldn’t it just be easier to breed bald cats?

          1. Nidokoenig says:

            No dorf with any sense(hang on…) deliberately breeds cats, the slaughtering of kittens is just to keep them from overrunning the fort. That and the typical dwarven fort is not a friendly place, so the typically rather delicate hairless breeds would be in even more trouble than regular cats.

        2. Sumanai - a grouchy ball of bile and cynicism says:

          And he’s most likely the only one to fit in a lightbulb and able to screw, so the answer would have to be “two”.

  23. Velkrin says:

    Important Protip: If you shoot the GIANT FLAMMABLE FLAMETHROWER FUEL CYLINDERS on the backs of the pyros (use the heavy pistol) once or twice, they leak fuel and explode shortly thereafter.

    1. BanZeus says:

      Overload works wonders too.

      1. Aldowyn says:

        Preferably, don’t do it with a shotgun at point-blank range.

        On a serious note, it really does help against those pyros, and even against entire groups.

  24. guy says:

    This video is an excellent demonstration of why the level designers could do with some smacking. It’s just terribly designed for the incredibly short-ranged vanguard.

  25. psivamp says:

    As a former nuclear operator, I certify that Shamus is indeed correct that the ventilation hub is the size of a reactor. Also, why is that room so big? Space is at a premium and they make a gianormous empty room to hold a few circuit breakers — and then don’t even put the circuit breakers in the room but stick them in some oversized closets adjacent to the enormous waste of space?

    1. Integer Man says:

      It’s like it wasn’t designed for practical usage! That’s crazy. Think of those poor NPCs that have to use the thing while you’re flying around taking Mordin on dates to strange alien planets.

    2. Blanko2 says:

      well you see there is a perfectly reasonable scientific explanation, its because when you get several- wait, over there a vorcha!
      *runs away while you’re not looking*

  26. Aldowyn says:

    Oh look let’s watch Josh suck at playing again! Actually, he’s pretty much gotten the hang of the whole charge-shotgun in the face thing.

    Anyway… yeah, there’s too much shooting. We had ONE conversation.. why is this? Oh yeah, the episodes are shorter.

    You guys managed to fill it pretty well, but there were some, ah, quiet moments.

    1. krellen says:

      It’s not entirely the episode length at fault. ME2 has a lot more shooting than ME1.

      1. Irridium says:

        Which is why I hope they’ll do Thane’s and Samara’s loyalty missions. They’re two of the few missions that have no combat. Which is why I love them so much.

      2. Blanko2 says:

        because the shooting is 100% improved.
        not that the shooting was horrible in ME, but, really story is not ME2’s forté and combat wasn’t the best part of ME

      3. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Im not so sure.I think they have about the same amount of shooting,but in 2 you have to duck behind chest high walls lot more,so it seems longer.

        In fact,there are no random shooting sections like 1s mako sections,so it seems 2 has less shooting.

    2. eri says:

      I believe you missed the part where BioWare turned Mass Effect into Gears of War: In SPACE!

      1. Blanko2 says:

        GEARS OF MASS EFFECT WARS:DRAKE’s FORTUNE ON HELL’S HIGHWAY TO VEGAS 2

        1. Aldowyn says:

          I actually like ME2’s combat. It has enough variation in the special abilities that it DOESN’T feel like a typical TPS, but they also fixed the whole sticky cover thing (mostly), and it’s so nice that it shoots where I want it to now. Especially the sniper rifle.

          Not going to discuss ammo, we’ve done that already.

          1. Blanko2 says:

            yes, excessively. haha
            iunno, i played as soldier, there always felt like there was a distinct lack of nice AOE powers. i just want like an explosion.
            without having to waste my special power slot. and without it being as limited as the heavy weapons are (the really good ones, anyway).

            1. BanZeus says:

              Concussive Blast? Grenade Launcher?

              Besides, I’m sure every other class feels the distinct lack of X-76f Revenant Light Machine Gun.

              1. Blanko2 says:

                grenade launcher SUCKS.
                missile launcher is nice, but really the cain. just that.
                the problem is it has like
                one shot.

  27. Specktre says:

    Hey Josh, seriously check this guy out.

    http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/topic/261/index/1457282

    He has exceptional pointers on playing the Vanguard in ME2. This really helped my a while back. He has updated it since I last checked this forever ago though, I noticed.

    Anyway, just at least give this a looksy.

  28. Viktor says:

    Is there no Quicksave button? If there is, you should be mashing it every time you hit a switch. If not, you should be mashing the game designers.

    1. Dude says:

      F5.

      But these guys always rely on autosaves. I only ever saw them manually save twice in Fallout 3.

  29. Zaxares says:

    I have to laugh at the fast-forward portions whenever Josh dies. I don’t know why, but I always get an evil cackle out of watching him die. >:D

    Oh, and Mumbles has a nice laugh. :)

    1. Blanko2 says:

      i think you mean
      muh moh mah marbles

  30. Deadpool says:

    I’m going out on a limb here and say we have ourselves a budding romance on our show. Cutest thing in Spoiler Warning yet…

    Anyways, as an Infiltrator, I’m enjoying Josh’s gung ho Vanguard tactics…

    1. Blanko2 says:

      i disagree that that is going out on a limb :D

      1. Deadpool says:

        I’m just glad I’m not the only one who noticed…

  31. xXDarkWolfXx says:

    “The hell else is a vanguard supposed to do”
    Press the start button, select main menu, select new game, CHOOSE A DIFFERENT CLASS

  32. NonEuclideanCat says:

    Dammit Rutskarn, you missed a perfect opportunity for a “plague doctor” pun.

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