I don’t have time to watch the episode and do a proper post write up, but I’ve left you the template so you can fill it in yourself. Good luck!
[Short, playful intro that refers to the content of the episode. Then a setup for a lame joke.]
[More in-depth commentary, clarifying things that were said in the episode. Then an attempt to counter-balance the episode. If it was too negative, then praise the game. If too much gushing, then kick the game a few times.]
[Some comments on how the series is going and what we plan to do.]
[A bit making fun of Josh’s playstyle.]
[A sign-off that cashes in on the lame joke setup at the start.]
MMO Population Problems
Computers keep getting more powerful. So why do the population caps for massively multiplayer games stay about the same?
Quakecon 2011 Keynote Annotated
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
The Gameplay is the Story
Some advice to game developers on how to stop ruining good stories with bad cutscenes.
The game was a dud, and I'm convinced a big part of that is due to the way the game leaned into its story. Its terrible, cringe-inducing story.
What Does a Robot Want?
No, self-aware robots aren't going to turn on us, Skynet-style. Not unless we designed them to.
122 thoughts on “Spoiler Warning S4E7: What Cover?”
YouTube bickers that the video is private and won’t let me watch it.
[completely unrelated reply that serves as – even if unfair – the first-instance of this trend].
As far as YouTube bickering about private videos and so on, hah, more like MeTube, right? … Guys?…Hello?..
[A completely irrevevant and stupid comment]
Hey gys, a flying penis!
[Person accidentally replying to the wrong post, leading to a horrible miscommunication about his sense of humor.]
Haha! I get it!
“This is a private video. If you have been sent this video, please make sure to accept the sender’s friend request.”
Oh, shamuuuuuussss. You got some ‘splainin’ to dooooo.
[Complaint that the video is private even though multiple people have said so already.]
[Teasing remark pointing out that Shamus forgot to set the video to public, again.]
Edit: [Complaint that he was ninja’d!]
[Somewhat patronizing note that the last time this happened, it took a little while to clear up even though Shamus had already set the video to public.]
[Out-of-date and no-longer-funny comment that the tubes must be clogged.]
[Gushing comment about how I cannot wait to watch the video.]
I really thought the “Video is private! Haha!” times were over when you changed to Youtube. ^^
I’ve got to say – even though I like the new 15min episodes, I kinda miss Viddler. I liked those timestamp-comments. Often it made it even more funny. Traurig, traurig. (Sad, sad in german.)
Here I come to save the day!
Should be public now.
[insert comment about beez here]
Did you use your mad geometry skillz to solve the puzzle?
“Its like geometry. Use your geometry skills.” I cant tell you how much that line made me laugh – so much math in life.
Geometry – the shape of what is, what has been, and what is yet to come.
This made my heart smile. I failed Geometry in high school and in college I took “The Art of Geometry” which was basically just explaining simple proofs enthusiastically on a chalk board.
When I get drunk? I yell at people that I’m no mathematician. I have mad respect for people who are good at math and understand it. It’s like wizard shit to me.
I am an engineer who deals in for-mu-las math-matical
My experience does cover vehicles aero-dynamical
From Bernoulli we get pressure but Kutta-Jukowski lends a hand
With translational rotational circulation ’round a span
Empirical examples which are numerical and practical
I am an engineer who deals in for-mu-las math-matical
[hands Mumbles the bottle of Jameson]
EDIT: Dear Gilbert & Sullivan – I am so, SO sorry….
(Peers at you through monocle.)
Indeed! Good show!
Haha! That’s great.
I think this fine poster deserves a round of applause.
Now I want to play Geometry Wars.
Bravo, Sir! Bravo!
It doesn’t quite scan, but I think we could tweak it to work, so bravo.
Im a doctor,not a mathematician!
Also I apologize for sounding like a screaming dinosaur.
Why start apologizing now? ;)
Ahh, sweet irony.
If you’re going to sound like a dinosaur, might as well make it an interesting one.
It’s all good, Mumbles. You had Josh saying that everyone was a backseat driver, when we know that it should be just you.
Also, Pyros FTW.
Actually, I haven’t played TF2 in a while, and I play spy about as often as pyro.
To expound on Integer Man: the alternative is understanding what’s going on. I don’t know if you watch the finished product, or if you just read the article and the comments, so let me to paint you a picture of what us normal humans hear.
[Open scene. Josh is headbutting Krogans, and stealing their lunch money.]
RUTSKARN: Allow me to enlighten to all on the finer points of gravity-driven buoyant convection. When yo””
MUMBLES: BEES! JOSH, RELEASE THE GEOMETRY BEES! NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GEOMETRIC BEES!
SHAMUS: “”prestigious monk, but I””
MUMBLES: WHY AREN’T YOU USING SPACE JUMP!? THIS WOULD GO SO MUCH FASTER IF YOU JUST USED SPAAAAAAAAACE JUUUUMP! SPAAACE JUMP!
RUTSKARN: And that’s why I’m not allowed in Ohio anymore.
[End scene. Tight zoom on Shepard’s corpse, hold for too long.]
As you can clearly see, the humor ratio in this snippet of conversation clearly favors you. Keep doing what you do; you’re doing us all a favor.
All that summary is missing is one of Ruts’ trademark Groan-Inducing Pun-Bombs ™.
Otherwise, spot on.
Mumbles, our saviour!
[Comment thanking Mumbles and stating that she is the only one that can help us viewers.]
[Mockery of how many times Josh dies.]
[Request to have Rutskarn’s Cat-Sweater pattern put on-line.]
Oh god! The cliffhanger ending! Will we ever know if Josh makes it out of there? Is he, perhaps, still playing that particular part of the game, over and over…?
This was a fun episode.
Rutskarn and Mumbleses chemistr… erm, relatio… erm, interaction worked quite well, especially over Josh’s totaly inefficient Elmo-playstyle.
(Also, vanguard? Pft! Should’ve gone Adept and use only your powers).
Moar also, funny how utterly dull the gameplay looks when you’re watching.
I find it somewhat dull while playing too. Too much shooting, not enough bouncing along landscapes and discovering things.
Sarcastic or not, but I really do miss Mako and the open spaces.
I was totally serious. I love the Mako.
The Hammerhead’s a good start, and handles better than the Mako, but they’re still implementing it on far too lineal levels and depriving players of a lot of the exploration fun that could be had in ME1.
There’s a reason I’ve replayed ME1 (all the way through) at least six times. And I’ve got plans, in the near future, to finish a seventh and start an eighth.
The hammerhead is worse at handling terrain than the Mako and is less sturdy. I couldn’t work up the will to do more than the first mission of firewalker because of it.
It needs to fly more, and you’re right about it being flimsy, but those are both variables that can be adjusted easily (just up the “how often you can jump in a row” bit and the “how many hit points it has” bit).
If only Bioware had approached the complaints with the “let’s fix it” attitude instead of “let’s remove it completely”. All the mako needed was functioning shock absorbers and mass when on ground.
Well, adding a secondary control scheme, where you control it like vehicles in Halo wouldn’t hurt either, but it’s really about the mako being way too bouncy especially for an armored vehicle.
I dunno, if mass means I can no longer climb 75Â° slopes, I can deal with being a little bouncy.
You only got up to 75 degrees? My favorite part was making it climb 89 degree slopes. Ticked my husband off to no end because he kept insisting that couldn’t work.
that just highlights the third part of the solution: Decent terrain generation.
Obviously it should allow changing the mass according to need. Like it was claimed in the codex, but apparently never actually applied in-game.
I’m pretty sure BioWare just doesn’t know how to make games anymore.
Well again, everybody has different tastes. Personally I find ME1 passable (The Mako is just as boring and pointless as the planet scanning, but with a “laughing at how dumb it looks” part in it too, the combat is laughably awful and the rest is very good), ME2 is WONDERFUL, Dragon Age:Origins is the best thing since Baldur’s Gate, and I have already pre-ordered Dragon Age 2.
Ask me now and I would say a lot of the Mako sections are unnecessary, but during my first playthrough when I wanted to see everything, collect everything, etc. driving around was great. Mass Effect did an awesome job of making me feel like the galaxy is a big place.
ME2 still makes me feel like the galaxy is big, but it takes a “hard” sci-fi approach by making resources limited, IE you need to refuel.
You know what, fine, yes ships need fuel: but why am I the one refueling the ship? Didn’t the old Normandy have someone to take care of that for me? For that matter, now I have to fly the ship myself so I can scan the planets myself, hopefully those probes aren’t just drop pods with a pick, a shovel and wheelbarrow so I have to mine my own unobtainium. And I need to seduce my secretary to get her to feed my fish? Cerberus installs a 400 gallon tank but couldn’t spring for a timer?
Don’t even get me started on ammo, if you can bring me back from the dead, you can give me an assault rifle that doesn’t overheat, I had 6 or 7 of them myself when I killed Saren.
Where’s my omnigel?
You kids, get off my space-lawn!
Edit: I agree, DragonAge is awesome.
Must second first comment. Episode was fun. And funny. Funny fun, that sort of thing.
EDIT: Second verse, same as the first! A little bit faster, a little bit worse!
Aw yeah, linkin’ suit environments… :p
I spend way too much time in ElmodeÂ® myself, and this early in the game you don’t have any evolved powers with 3 second cooldown so even the Adept is mostly firing short bursts with the SMG with the occasional singularity to break up the monotony.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that got that vibe from Mumbles and Rutskarn.
I’m fairly certain that vibe started back when Ruts challenged Mumbles to a suck-off.
It’s been downhill from there, really.
[furious rant about the game kicking in the post although the episode clearly showed the game is waaay cooler than that]
[furious rant about how you can let the game get away with that type of obvious design mistakes]
[Some remark that the series is getting better but the plans you just laid out are not quite to my liking — couldn’t you do it completely differently? That’d be much better!]
Is it just me or did the whole episode go like this:
Mumbles: “Get back in the kitchen and make me a sweater!”
You are missing:
Josh: “If you kids don’t quiet down back there, I am going to turn this car around right now!”
Also Josh’s “I know what I’m doing!” quickly followed by death.
“you shouldve stopped for directions back when i told you to!” by mumbles
[read the article and the comments. just lurk, don’t comment. resolve to watch the video on getting home from work, likely forget.]
[by filling in the fields in this comment appropriately, you delete the comment itself. fun, huh?]
[Amused comment about how the commentators have taken the joke and run with it, as expected]
Is the kitchen a common knitting area?
Knittin’ for a kitten in the kitchen. That sounds like a bizzare (sp?) resolution for the boardgame Clue gone plaid.
[kudos for having daily episodes]
[a comment how this section is much easier when you are an infiltrator]
[something about ashley being a bitch]
[a link for award winning movie trailer]
Ah, I see what you did there. *laughs*
BTW! Shamus, nice dry deadpan humor (or is it called black humor?) going there :)
So… did anyone else see Josh take 4 rockets right to the head near the end(around 12:30 or so)?
Or am I just going crazy and seeing things?
OH! Also, fun fact: You can use Medigel to heal you. Its true. Its just not really worth it since your health regenerates.
Looked like it to me. Was pretty nice. He was “in cover” though.
When in cover rockets cant hurt you,even when it seems like they are hitting you in the face.
Not true. Just last night (or was it Sunday night?) I died a most frustrating death because a missile killed me while I was in cover. I’m not sure if it was splash damage that killed me, or if I was just really unlucky, but it did kill me.
Also, somehow I ended up on top of a two-foot-tall rock during Jacob’s loyalty mission and the engine wouldn’t let me back down… (I guess I might fall and hurt myself?) Saving and reloading didn’t help; fortunately the game had autosaved shortly before that, while I was on the ground, but after the fight…
That happens pretty often. I think the game engine can’t handle curved shapes properly and treats them sort of like cubes.
Yeah, there’s a spot where that’s happened to me on two separate occasions in that mission–same place, both times. It is indeed annoying.
It happened to me several times in different places in that mission and occasionally on other missions.
Managed to fall out of the world on
the derelict reaper. So that was fun.
Sociopathic Oath – I love it.
Does that mean you have to become a Sociopathological liar as well? What would that entail? Habitually lying for the general purpose of trolling society?
At the same point I thought “Shotgun Fever”. Only way of getting down the heat, is blasting it into others.
Then I thought “Shotgun blues” and remembered the time I played co-op Quake over LAN with a friend and had a Guns ‘n’ Roses CD inside. Never again.
Here’s my go at the intro:
Well, it’s time for another watching three people talk about videogames while an awesome cat-knitting maverick drops jokebombs on y’all noggins. A horse walks into a bar.
In this episode, we watch Josh shoot dudes and homeless guys with gnarly teeth, and Rutskarn is awesome. The game was pretty good, except when it sucked.
Rutskarn is going to keep being awesome.
The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
Truly a tour de horse.
No! no puns I will have none of this HORSING AROUND!
It’s all in good fun. Don’t be such an ass.
Personally, I’m chomping at the bit in anticipation of the next godawful pun.
I’m glad I’m not saddled with that responsibility.
Enough with trotting out puns!
[Equine related pun that requests the previous poster to cease complaints about puns]
I’d say a pun, but my voice is rather hoarse, so yeah.
Here’s a fun joke.
How many Rutskarns does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
Answer: Who cares? Why isn’t he in the kitchen making me a cat sweater?
Well maybe you should have kept a tighter rein on him then.
She’s putting the spurs to him as is, what more do you want?
Wait a minute? Why is the kitchen the universal source of cat sweaters? Are you implying that he is incapable of making a cat sweater from his underground bunker? Or incapable of passing a speech check to make the cat make a sweater out of itself?
Ah, fur sweater. Truly the clothing of choice for an outgoing modern individual.
I’m saying the only thing he’s good for is punny sammiches and cat sweaters. In the kitchen. Call me sexist! Call me roomist! I don’t care I do what I want!
This totally needs to end with “I’m on a horse!”
really its a tale as old as time:
boy reveals a talent for knitting, calls girl “muh-mo-marbles”
girl says boy is girly and demands a cat sweater knitted
boy makes horrible pun, relationship falls apart.
am the only person that cannot read the words “tale as old as time” and immediately get the beauty and the beast song stuck in my head?
No, you are not the only person. And damn you for writing them.
I’ve been playing too much Dorf Fort: when I hear cat sweater, I think sweater made from cat fur. Which is odd, because dwarves are notoriously anti-fur- they shave kittens before they slaughter them, so a dwarven cat sweater would be more like a padded leather shirt.
Also, I didn’t know Rutskarn was small enough to fit in a lightbulb, let alone screw in one.
In the long run, wouldn’t it just be easier to breed bald cats?
No dorf with any sense(hang on…) deliberately breeds cats, the slaughtering of kittens is just to keep them from overrunning the fort. That and the typical dwarven fort is not a friendly place, so the typically rather delicate hairless breeds would be in even more trouble than regular cats.
And he’s most likely the only one to fit in a lightbulb and able to screw, so the answer would have to be “two”.
Important Protip: If you shoot the GIANT FLAMMABLE FLAMETHROWER FUEL CYLINDERS on the backs of the pyros (use the heavy pistol) once or twice, they leak fuel and explode shortly thereafter.
Overload works wonders too.
Preferably, don’t do it with a shotgun at point-blank range.
On a serious note, it really does help against those pyros, and even against entire groups.
This video is an excellent demonstration of why the level designers could do with some smacking. It’s just terribly designed for the incredibly short-ranged vanguard.
As a former nuclear operator, I certify that Shamus is indeed correct that the ventilation hub is the size of a reactor. Also, why is that room so big? Space is at a premium and they make a gianormous empty room to hold a few circuit breakers — and then don’t even put the circuit breakers in the room but stick them in some oversized closets adjacent to the enormous waste of space?
It’s like it wasn’t designed for practical usage! That’s crazy. Think of those poor NPCs that have to use the thing while you’re flying around taking Mordin on dates to strange alien planets.
well you see there is a perfectly reasonable scientific explanation, its because when you get several- wait, over there a vorcha!
*runs away while you’re not looking*
Oh look let’s watch Josh suck at playing again! Actually, he’s pretty much gotten the hang of the whole charge-shotgun in the face thing.
Anyway… yeah, there’s too much shooting. We had ONE conversation.. why is this? Oh yeah, the episodes are shorter.
You guys managed to fill it pretty well, but there were some, ah, quiet moments.
It’s not entirely the episode length at fault. ME2 has a lot more shooting than ME1.
Which is why I hope they’ll do Thane’s and Samara’s loyalty missions. They’re two of the few missions that have no combat. Which is why I love them so much.
because the shooting is 100% improved.
not that the shooting was horrible in ME, but, really story is not ME2’s forté and combat wasn’t the best part of ME
Im not so sure.I think they have about the same amount of shooting,but in 2 you have to duck behind chest high walls lot more,so it seems longer.
In fact,there are no random shooting sections like 1s mako sections,so it seems 2 has less shooting.
I believe you missed the part where BioWare turned Mass Effect into Gears of War: In SPACE!
GEARS OF MASS EFFECT WARS:DRAKE’s FORTUNE ON HELL’S HIGHWAY TO VEGAS 2
I actually like ME2’s combat. It has enough variation in the special abilities that it DOESN’T feel like a typical TPS, but they also fixed the whole sticky cover thing (mostly), and it’s so nice that it shoots where I want it to now. Especially the sniper rifle.
Not going to discuss ammo, we’ve done that already.
yes, excessively. haha
iunno, i played as soldier, there always felt like there was a distinct lack of nice AOE powers. i just want like an explosion.
without having to waste my special power slot. and without it being as limited as the heavy weapons are (the really good ones, anyway).
Concussive Blast? Grenade Launcher?
Besides, I’m sure every other class feels the distinct lack of X-76f Revenant Light Machine Gun.
grenade launcher SUCKS.
missile launcher is nice, but really the cain. just that.
the problem is it has like
Hey Josh, seriously check this guy out.
He has exceptional pointers on playing the Vanguard in ME2. This really helped my a while back. He has updated it since I last checked this forever ago though, I noticed.
Anyway, just at least give this a looksy.
Is there no Quicksave button? If there is, you should be mashing it every time you hit a switch. If not, you should be mashing the game designers.
But these guys always rely on autosaves. I only ever saw them manually save twice in Fallout 3.
I have to laugh at the fast-forward portions whenever Josh dies. I don’t know why, but I always get an evil cackle out of watching him die. >:D
Oh, and Mumbles has a nice laugh. :)
i think you mean
muh moh mah marbles
I’m going out on a limb here and say we have ourselves a budding romance on our show. Cutest thing in Spoiler Warning yet…
Anyways, as an Infiltrator, I’m enjoying Josh’s gung ho Vanguard tactics…
i disagree that that is going out on a limb :D
I’m just glad I’m not the only one who noticed…
“The hell else is a vanguard supposed to do”
Press the start button, select main menu, select new game, CHOOSE A DIFFERENT CLASS
Dammit Rutskarn, you missed a perfect opportunity for a “plague doctor” pun.
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