T w e n t y S i d e d
We’ve seen Stardock’s version of the Gamer’s Bill of Rights. But what would the list look like if it had been written by EA?
Gamer’s Bill of Rights
Thanks to the dozens of people who sent this along. Sometime around the eighth or ninth email it dawned on me that people weren’t sending this so that I could read it, they were sending in the hopes that I would read and then comment on it.
Stardock president Brad Wardell wrote the following for Edge Magazine. Do go and read the whole thing for context.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Gamer’s Bill of Rights”
Pork and Beans
Weezer made a music video, and they invited the internet.
Understand that it is an act of extreme generosity for me to link to a video that doesn’t allow embedding. I’ve passed over many videos I wanted to blog about because the maker didn’t allow me to embed the video here. Sending you off to YouTube with instructions to come back here and read what I have to say once you’re done is pointless delay and busywork for you, and interferes with the conversation I’m trying to start. But I’m willing to tolerate it here because I think the video is worth the extra effort. If you’re up for it, you can go and watch it, and then come back here.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Pork and Beans”
Stolen Pixels #16::Azeroth Travelogue, Part 3
Today I deliver the final stroke to the equestrian corpse that is my World of Warcraft series. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed the weeks of intense cravings, vomiting, cramps, and terrifying hallucinations that I experienced during my WoW rehab.
Requirements Not Met
I am uncharacteristically at a loss for words at the moment, but I can’t bear to send you away empty handed. So check this out: Requirements Not Met, the first of what I hope will be a series of posts that look at what games look like at the minimum visual settings.
Game companies often release screenshots that are more or less fiction. They crank up the visuals and the resolution to the point where the game would be unplayable even on high-end machines, and then they offer up these images as if they were examples of what the game will look like for the average user. It’s stupid and dishonest and everyone knows it and they do it anyway. Releasing comedic screenshots of the game at the other end of the quality spectrum is a perfectly reasonable response to this.
(And yes, I realize the absurdity of claiming to be at a loss for words at the top of a hundred and sixty five word post.)
Mike vs. BJ Shea
EDIT: I stand corrected. I’m crazy busy this morning and don’t have time for the whole thing, but the first few minutes were conciliatory and civil. I am thrilled to have my cynicism proven wrong. Onward. Original post follows:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mike vs. BJ Shea”
Grand Theft Auto: The… Birthday Cake?
This image was gleefully swiped from Cake Wrecks – which is one of those sites that will steal a lunch hour from you if you give it half a chance.
 |
A San Andreas cake. For a four year old boy. This is like one of those, “How many things wrong can you find in this picture”, except that this one is too easy. The answer is: Everything. This is an image of perfect wrongness, from the expertly reproduced likeness of Cesar Vialpando holding a gun, to the wads of play money jammed into the icing. This cake is the work of a very skilled madman.
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Grand Theft Auto: The… Birthday Cake?”
From The Archives:
A Lack of Vision and Leadership
People fault EA for being greedy, but their real sin is just how terrible they are at it.
Steam Summer Blues
This mess of dross, confusion, and terrible UI design is the storefront the big publishers couldn't beat? Amazing.
Batman v. Superman Wasn't All Bad
It's not a good movie, but it was made with good intentions and if you look closely you can find a few interesting ideas.
Silent Hill Origins
Here is a long look at a game that tries to live up to a big legacy and fails hilariously.
Raytracing
Raytracing is coming. Slowly. Eventually. What is it and what will it mean for game development?
Chainmail Bikini
A horrible, railroading, stupid, contrived, and painfully ill-conceived roleplaying campaign. All in good fun.
Silent Hill Turbo HD II
I was trying to make fun of how Silent Hill had lost its way but I ended up making fun of fighting games. Whatever.
Push the Button!
Scenes from Half-Life 2:Episode 2, showing Gordon Freeman being a jerk.
Charging More for a Worse Product
No, game prices don't "need" to go up. That's not how supply and demand works. Instead, the publishers need to be smarter about where they spend their money.
Another PC Golden Age?
Is it real? Is PC gaming returning to its former glory? Sort of. It's complicated.