Notes on the autoblography

By Shamus Posted Sunday Oct 23, 2011

Filed under: Notices 49 comments

Last week I claimed that the autoblography would end at #34. Lies. I’ve been editing, inserting, and expanding. It will not end in the coming week, although I really, really am trying to end it the week after. Right now I’m looking at #37 or #38. (If you haven’t noticed, I post these Tues, Wed, Thu, and Fri. That’s four posts of 1,000+ words every week. This may be the most content I’ve ever put out on a sustained basis.)

Also, I’ve restored the long-dead tagging system for posts. You’ll notice at the end of this post, it’s filed under “boring announcements”. If you want to link to or browse the autoblography posts, you can use a link like this:

http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?tag=autoblography

See?

The advantage of the tag system is that I can group posts without proliferating the number of categories. (Those little icons at the top.)

The downside of these tags is that I didn’t start using the tag system until the site was several years old. (It wasn’t even available in those early versions of WordPress.) I didn’t use it in the last year or so because I forgot about it when I rolled out my new theme that didn’t show tags. So most stuff on the site isn’t tagged, and combing through the archives of all 2,983 posts on the site to tag them would be prohibitively time consuming.

I might be able to auto-generate some tags for common topics (like Project Frontier, Hex, and such) with a bit of creative MySQL, but that’s also a good way to break something. (SQL commands don’t have an undo button. Yes, you can restore the dB, but that’s a massive pain for a bunch of stupid reasons. (There’s a cap on how much you can upload through PHP, there’s a cap on how big SQL commands can be, and there’s a cap on how long a PHP page can take to do a thing. It’s very, very likely that my 300Mb (!!!!) database will hit all three limits, which would require me to do things the very, very hard way. Basically, botching a MySQL command in a way that requires a dB restore could result in hours of frustration, fighting to get the site back up.))

TL;DR: There are tags on some posts, but not on others, and the tag system sucks and is not likely to improve soon.

 


 

Autoblography Part 32: Flipping Burgers

By Shamus Posted Friday Oct 21, 2011

Filed under: Personal 206 comments

I have a lot of time on my hands these days. I’m still teaching myself C. It’s hard because I don’t have anything but the reference books. This would be a lot easier if I had some way of looking at some example programs. The library doesn’t have any books to help me. I don’t know if the book store has any books that might help, because I don’t think to check.

Still, I’m making progress on my own and figuring out this 3D rendering business. I’ve written a program that is pretty much identical to the “3D Flower Box” screensaver that Microsoft will give away with Windows 98, six years from now. The only real difference is that my program draws the stuff in wireframe, because otherwise it would be too slow on this 7Mhz machine.

shamus_1991_starflight2a.jpg

It’s Sunday, and I’m enjoying a rare weekend off. Patrick and I are really into this game called Starflight 2. The game is simply gigantic. It fills up two 360k floppy disks. I’ve encountered two-disk games before, but most of those were titles that were just a little too big for one disk. Starflight 2 completely fills both disks. To start a new game, you make a complete copy of both disks. This copy is your entire save game. Amazing. If this trend continues, then someday we’ll end up with videogames that take up a whole megabyte.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Autoblography Part 32: Flipping Burgers”

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP15: You Are Sure Nobody’s Follow’ Us?

By Shamus Posted Thursday Oct 20, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 90 comments


Link (YouTube)

At the end of this episode, I had the exact same problem Josh did. Some of those guards just walk up to you and there’s no clear way to get rid of them. Throwing money doesn’t help. Smoke bombs and murder cause instant failure. They follow you no matter how far you withdraw. I did finally get it, but as with Josh, it just looked odd and broken. They’re about to draw their swords and then suddenly the cutscene begins and I’m standing alone? Uh? Fine, but how was I SUPPOSED to deal with that?

It’s really frustrating that the game insists that you slip by the guards unnoticed, only to have it turn around and say, “HA HA! I KNEW you were there all along, Assassin!” Er. Okay. If that was his plan, then why did I have to sneak by those guards and why did I insta-fail when they noticed me?

I’m sure the sideways jump is because the guy you’re following can’t be assassinated. Again, this game gets a “get out of plot holes, free” card by saying, “animus”. You can’t assassinate him because that’s not how Ezio remembers it. Still, that sideways jump was outrageous. It looked stupid, it was clearly not what the player wanted, it made no sense, and it punished the player for the sins of the game designer.

True story:

I was playing a couple of nights ago. There was a pair of guards I wanted out of the way. Easy: I’ll just aim between them and kill both at once. Despite lining myself up carefully, Ezio hopped to one side and just killed one of them. Sigh. Fine. I try to leap on the other and kill him before he can draw his sword. Ezio leaps THROUGH the remaining guard and impales TWO civilians behind him. Instant ragequit. (I really hate killing civilians.)

 


 

Autoblography Part 31: ICM

By Shamus Posted Thursday Oct 20, 2011

Filed under: Personal 102 comments

My alarm goes off and I sit up in bed. The opening shouts of the song No Sleep till Brooklyn storm through my brain. This happens every morning. I don’t know why. I’m not even particularly fond of the song. I guess I have it in my head because the lyrics are talking about not getting enough sleep, which is my big problem these days.

It’s six in the morning. I’ve been asleep for five hours. I can’t hit the snooze button because I’ll miss the bus.

I pull my McDonald’s uniform out of the washer, toss it in the dryer, grab some breakfast, and get dressed in the business casual outfit we’re required to wear at school. (Which is basically, “business formal, but ties are optional”.) I grab the now-dry McDonald’s uniform as I dash out of the house and drive to the other side of town, where I park my car. Next I catch a bus to Pittsburgh. The ride takes about an hour. I try to sleep, but I can never get comfortable and I’m always worried that other passengers might mess with me. The bus drops me off at the David L. Lawrence convention center, and I walk a mile from there to ICM School of Business. I attend classes there all day, then retrace my steps: Walk a mile, ride a bus for an hour. As soon as the bus drops me off I go to work a seven-hour shift at McDonald’s. Finally I stagger into the house a little after midnight, put my McDonald’s uniform in the wash, and collapse into bed. I do this five days a week.

It’s 1991, and I have somehow screwed things up. Other college kids have these heroic stories of sleep deprivation and all-nighters. They seem to keep up with studying, dating, early classes, and late parties. I don’t know how they do it. I don’t party, I don’t have a girlfriend, and my schooling requires very little extra study, but this lifestyle is killing me.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Autoblography Part 31: ICM”

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP14: Free Shave & A Haircut

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Oct 19, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 76 comments


Link (YouTube)

At one point in this episode Josh is trying to leap along a line of wooden beams protruding from the wall. Suddenly his character embraces the wall. Then Josh begins the run again and Ezio leaps AWAY from the wall.

That particular problem is happening to me a lot, and I think it comes down to an ambiguity in the controls: Are they character-relative, or camera-relative? If Ezio is aligned to run along the beams, but the camera is pointed away from the wall, then what happens when I press “forward”? Is Ezio going to move forward from his perspective (along the wall) or from my perspective? (Away from the wall.)

Some games use one, some games use another. It gets really confusing when the camera is facing a wall, Ezio is pointed along the wall, you push the stick to the side, and the camera begins to swing around behind behind him as he moves.

Here it’s a little more frustrating because there are intended “lines” of movement, and the game tries to interpret your intended path. If your manipulation of the controls is telling Ezio to move “diagonal” away from the wall, he’ll continue to move directly along it, or directly away from it, depending on which is closest to what you’re suggesting through the controls. As the player, you can’t feel that you’re telling Ezio to move diagonally, because he’s moving straight. You think, “Ah! Holding the stick forward and slightly to the side like this is making him run forward! I’ll keep doing that.” Then the camera shifts, or you move the stick very slightly. Suddenly your diagonal suggestion is closer to “away from the wall” than to “along the wall”, and Ezio leaps out into space for seemingly no damn reason.

Green is where the player’s input is telling Ezio to go.  Yellow is where Ezio is actually going.  The player is unaware that they’re giving bad directions because Ezio is moving as desired.
Green is where the player’s input is telling Ezio to go. Yellow is where Ezio is actually going. The player is unaware that they’re giving bad directions because Ezio is moving as desired.

This problem became really severe for me once I reached Venice. There are a lot more non-ninety-degree walls along the canals, and all too often I find myself slamming into walls or leaping into the water.

It’s very similar to the frustrations you get with auto-aim: Players have trouble understanding the correct thing to do when the game does so much auto-correction that they can’t see mistakes until they become severe.

 


 

Autoblography Part 30: Summer School

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Oct 19, 2011

Filed under: Personal 126 comments

shamus_1990_yearbook.jpg

I’ve maintained my habit of minimizing work in boring subjects, skateboarding along the rim of the failure chasm. This has always worked out for me in the past, but I was sick several times this year. On top of that, I was away several times due to the various competitions. I’ve missed a lot of school, and so managed fail a couple of classes. One of them was a harmless elective. Unfortunately, the other was not, and so I’m going to be one credit short.

I don’t attend the cap & gown ceremony. When the school year ends, I still have a couple more months of schooling to complete. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Autoblography Part 30: Summer School”

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP13: Press Dodge to Dodge

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 18, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 123 comments


Link (YouTube)

I can’t wait until we do an LP of GTA IV and we can spend all our time talking about Assassin’s Creed II.

For reference I did a head-to-head review of Saints Row 2 vs. GTA IV here. Also, I deconstructed the Rockstar approach to mission design here.