Project Button Masher: Robo Miner AI Hotfix

By Shamus Posted Thursday Jan 8, 2015

Filed under: Music 67 comments

It’s time to take another stab at imitating videogame soundtracks. This week we’re going to try the Descent soundtrack. Unlike last week, I’m going to do what I can to try and make this one sound like it really belongs in the game, which means trying to re-create the old MIDI sounds.

The Descent music has been remixed a lot over the years. Some people heard those old MIDI tunes and felt the need to rebuild them with modern instruments. Sometimes the new version would be a faithful adaptation, and sometimes it would be unrecognizable, bordering on sonic vandalismLet’s be clear: The person who did the unfaithful remix is still more musically capable than I am..

For my project, I’m going to compose something original, but get as close to the old MIDI sounds as I can. Thankfully, MAGIX has a tool to help with this:

Are we making music or going to the moon?

That looks… scary. And it kind of is. There are a couple of video tutorials for this thing on YouTube, but they were so thick with music jargon that I couldn’t follow them, and they usually boiled down to the teacher just reading the damn interface to me. “This is the OSC glide. It will let you adjust the glide for the OSC up or down.” Gosh, thanks Yoda. You really unraveled that mystery for me.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Project Button Masher: Robo Miner AI Hotfix”

 


 

Last of Us EP34: Giraffes Are Cool

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jan 7, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 107 comments


Link (YouTube)

At this point in the game – just as we finally enter the home stretch – I’m finally going to get to play The Last of Us for myself. I now own a Playstation 4, along with GTA V and TLOU. These arrived via UPS with no note or indication of who bought them. I have my guess, but I don’t want to say anything until I know for sure. The important thing is that someone was very very good to me and I am very grateful. This is exactly the package I would have picked for myself.

This is the penultimate episode of the season. It’s been a good run. I feel sort of bad about stepping all over our discussion of the ending in my column yesterday, but I think there’s plenty of stuff left to discuss beyond, “How stupid and useless are the Fireflies and are they worse than Cerberus?”.

So I’m curious: Can you shoot these animals, and does Ellie react? We didn’t want to do the experiment and risk the wrath of Mumbles if it turned out the Giraffes were mortal.

The scene just before you leave the Giraffes behind is kind of interesting. As far as either of them knows, this shouldn’t be a big deal. Ellie is just expecting to be “studied”. They should be relieved to be done with travel and danger and fighting for survival for a few days. But the dialog flows as if they both know this is going to be a bigger deal than any of the challenges they just faced. The only explanation I can think of is that Joel thinks they are about to part ways.

And finally: Exhibit Z in the “Proof that the Fireflies suck at everything” files: The tunnel leading to their hideout is the most heavily zombie-infested place in the entire game. How long have they been here and not dealt with the monsters on their doorstep? Don’t they need to come and go once in a while? And while we’re at it, I should point out that with no viable means of trade or farming, there’s nothing for the Fireflies to eat.

 


 

Experienced Points: In The Last of Us, Joel Had It Right

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jan 6, 2015

Filed under: Column 137 comments

Here’s a spoiler warning for Spoiler Warning: This week our play-through of Last of Us will come to an end. Which means it’s time to talk about the ending. On the show I do the conversational version with the other hosts, but my column this week is the slightly more organized version.

Analogy time: Let’s imagine there’s some movie where a passenger airliner loses an engine. The hero immediately lands the plane on the highway, which kills somebody. Everyone is like, “The hero saved the lives of 100 people, so it’s okay that one person died.” But then some jerkass like me comes along and points out that he didn’t save anyone, because planes can continue to fly if one engine malfunctions. Does that mean that the hero is guilty of manslaughter because he should have just landed the plane properly at an airport? We end up arguing about what the author intended. Was the writer saying our reckless hero panicked and performed a needless emergency landing? Or was the plane really going to go down, regardless of how planes work in the real world?

You end up with two different debates taking place, but they keep getting their wires crossed. One is an ethical debate about the kind of risks you can take when 100 lives are at stake, and the other debate is about how planes work. But if we don’t agree on how planes work then the ethical debate doesn’t make any sense and some people will be arguing that the engineering doesn’t matter because the story is really about the ethical debate and so we go in circles until everyone gets mad.

So maybe it’s unfair of me to analyze Joel’s actions based on the logic of the real world and not on the logic of his world. On the other hand, I think the ending would have worked better if the science wasn’t so muddled. And I think it was muddled because the writer wanted to blur the line a bit to avoid having Joel perpetrate an objectively evil act.

I don’t know. It’s an interesting conundrum.

 


 

Errant Signal: Grand Theft Auto V

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jan 6, 2015

Filed under: Video Games 140 comments


Link (YouTube)

The video makes it sound like Rockstar is taking the game even further in the direction I hate: Now with 50% more arrogant sneering hypocrisy! It’s the ultimate product of bombastic, base, crass, violent, stupid, shallow, consumerist culture, and it spends the entire game looking down on bombastic, base, crass, violent, stupid, shallow, consumerist culture. You could argue that it’s going for some kind of “Spec Ops” style criticism of the genre, but GTA is the genre. It’s like making Spec Ops into a core Call of Duty title, so the game spends its entire running time criticizing the existence of tropes that it invented and continually perpetuates.

And that would be fine if it was self-deprecating, but instead the game pretends it’s somehow above all that. GTA V making fun of beer commercials for their excess of tits and marketing-engineered machismo is like David Cage making fun of the button-mashing stuff in Telltale games. Dude, your house is a pile of glass shards and you are out of rocks. Shut up already.

Rockstar should just make the protagonist Holden Caulfield, except in their version instead of a red hunting hat, Holden is wearing a Nike baseball capThe original red hunting cap would be available as a pre-order bonus. It would still have the Nike logo, though., Levis, Air Jordans, and a Nickleback concert T-shirt. He’s got a spray tan and drinks Mountain Dew while bitching about all those big corporations that are like, hurting the environment or whatever. He would call people phonies, but only if you buy the “Everyone is a Phony” DLC.

And yet, as much as I hate the swaggering stupidity and tone-deaf condescension of GTA, that footage from Errant Signal really makes me want to get the game and explore that world. Which means I am the dumbass consumer they took me for, and they really are the soulless corporate shills they’re mocking. I guess the joke is on all of us.

 


 

Diecast #87: Batman Endgame, ToME, Stone Soup Dungeon Crawl

By Shamus Posted Monday Jan 5, 2015

Filed under: Diecast 108 comments

Happy 2015! Enjoy this extra-long Diecast with a full crew and a lot of topics.

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Hosts: Shamus, Josh, Rutskarn, Mumbles, and Chris.

Show notes: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #87: Batman Endgame, ToME, Stone Soup Dungeon Crawl”

 


 

New Year Stream: Now on YouTube

By Shamus Posted Sunday Jan 4, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 39 comments

In case you missed it, on New Year we got together with a group of friends and played a bunch of games. Josh and Jarenth played, while I watched on Twitch and interacted with the people in chat. (I love doing this. I just wait for people to say something funny, read it out loud, and take credit for it. It’s like a license to steal jokes!)

We played Spintires, Far Cry 4, Super Amazing Wagon Adventure, and FTL.

Warning: This isn’t pristine HD video that’s been edited and audio-balanced like a typical episode of Spoiler Warning. This is a raw download of the Twitch stream. But while the quality is low, we make up for it in quantity. We’ve got over four hours of quasi-entertainment for you to consume! Enjoy!


Link (YouTube)

The rest of the videos are after the jump: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “New Year Stream: Now on YouTube”

 


 

Twenty Minutes With Five Nights At Freddy’s

By Shamus Posted Friday Jan 2, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 62 comments


Link (YouTube)

Fun fact: This episode was recorded and edited by Chris. Josh was visiting relatives during this session, so we couldn’t do Last of Us. And Chris has been angling to try some “quick look” type episodes where we spend just twenty minutes with a game that’s interesting, but maybe not interesting enough for a whole season of Spoiler Warning. (And we’re calling these short episodes, “Twenty Minutes With X”, even if the episode isn’t twenty minutes.)

Since we were joking around too much to do proper analysis (it’s the holidays, we were in the mood to goof off, and some of us had been drinking) I guess I’ll do my analysis here:

First off there’s the whole “jump scare” debate. I don’t see that as a worthwhile discussion. You can make all the bullet-points you want, you can never make an argument that will enable me to enjoy jump scares. They piss me off, end of story. On the other hand, there’s nothing I can say that will make a fan of jump scares stop enjoying them. This bypasses a lot of our higher-level behaviors and jabs us right in the amygdala. It’s either fun for you or it isn’t, and there’s no sense in arguing about it.

I actually really appreciate a game like Five Nights At Freddy’s. It’s unapologetically all about jump scares, and the gameplay is built around that idea. Now that I know this, I can avoid the game. It’s more of a problem when a game designer starts cramming jump scares into a game but then markets it as if it operates on an emotional level. I go in expecting to be scared by dread, mystery, emotional tension, and body horror, and instead I’m just waiting for the sudden loud noise and spooky face. And after the noise, I’ve got all this angry adrenaline in my bloodstream. I can put the game down, but that adrenaline doesn’t magically go away.

If you think about it, Silent Hill 2 is the opposite of a jump scare. You can hear the static before you see the monster. It’s all about the slow buildup of a fight you know is coming. Then there’s a quick encounter (combat or fleeing) and it’s over. After a session of Silent Hill 2 (or parts of Thief) I walk away with a sense of catharsis. After a jump scare game, I walk away grouchy.

Anyway. FNaF is sort of cute. It’s silly and it makes no sense, but its not trying to. This isn’t like Dead Space 2, a big-budget game with pretensions of terror but totally lacking in mood, pacing, and tone. (And story, and theme, and characterization, and logic.) Unlike Dead Space 2, FNaF is goofy on purpose. It does exactly what it says on the tin, and I can’t fault it for that.