Spooky’s House of Jump Scares Episode 2: The Exciting Episode That Goes To Dark Places

By Shamus Posted Friday Aug 14, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 67 comments


Link (YouTube)

That joking around we were doing about how Silent Hills was going to be turned into a pachinko machine? Yeah. That wasn’t joking around. That’s a real thing that Konami is doing.

I know I make a big fuss over Silent Hill 2 and how developers keep getting it wrong, but the truth is I’m not really a Silent Hill fan as much as a fan of the concepts and tone. I wouldn’t want to play a knock-off Batman game with some generic faux-Batman lead. But Silent Hill? I don’t care about the name. I’m here for the dread, the art style, the psychological games, the twisted monsters, somber quiet moments, the sense of mystery and the focus on exploration over combat.

Amnesia is the closest thing we have now. That’s nice and all, but I really wish someone else would pick up the Silent Hill torch and run with it.

“Spoopy” is apparently a real word now. I learned it from my teenagers. That’s something of a turning point in the life of a parent, when your kids start teaching you new words. Spooy is apparently a twee sort of spooky. Dracula is spooky. Count Chocula is spoopy.

 


 

The Altered Scrolls, Part 2: Dungeon Sprawling

By Rutskarn Posted Thursday Aug 13, 2015

Filed under: Elder Scrolls 50 comments

The first thing a player does in The Elder Scrolls I: Arena is give up on the game's story entirely (after approximately forty seconds of the intro). The second thing you do is create your character.

Not pictured: Witchblade, Bladewitch, Sexy Troubadour, Democratic Candidate, Franklin.
Not pictured: Witchblade, Bladewitch, Sexy Troubadour, Democratic Candidate, Franklin.

This means you pick a premade class that has its own favored skills, restrictions on equipment, and schools of magic allowed. These classes would confer scaling benefits as players kill monsters and gain experience. Anyone who's played a normal RPG was not going to be very surprised by thisâ€"unless they're from the future and have played the other Elder Scrolls games. For those of you who are but haven't, let me put it this way: it's like finding out Conan the Barbarian had an internship at a small family-owned dressmaker's shop. There's absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about it–it just seems like the sort of thing they'd deny violent at a cocktail party.

Every TES game after Arena rejects traditional classes, skill point allocations, and levels in favor of more organic systems that convince the player they're not just a stat block wandering a world of stat blocks, but a reasonable simulation of a person in a world of reasonable simulations of people. Levels and classes are more abstract systems entirely contingent on player choices, not on premade builds and abstract scaling. So why didn't Bethesda do it like that in Arena?

What race is this? Khajit. Yup, that's what the famous cat-person race looked like. The lore has broken its back justifying this and I will not under any circumstances discuss it.
What race is this? Khajit. Yup, that's what the famous cat-person race looked like. The lore has broken its back justifying this and I will not under any circumstances discuss it.

You might well argue they didn't know any betterâ€"and you'd probably be right. The intro of the game makes it clear that whatever its goals, Arena's texture and setting were not put together with a whole lot of foresight or deliberate vision. The game was very forgivably thrown together out of spare Dungeons and Dragons sprockets and all-purpose public domain fantasy pap. It's not fair to judge them for that; however, it is fair and by no means an accusation to point out that the less organic immersion-focused approach to character design is reflective of a less organic immersion-focused approach to the rest of the game.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “The Altered Scrolls, Part 2: Dungeon Sprawling”

 


 

Mass Effect Retrospective 8: Racists! In! Spaaaaaaace!

By Shamus Posted Thursday Aug 13, 2015

Filed under: Mass Effect 269 comments

Virmire is gorgeous. After the bland monotony of Therum and the frustrating monotony of Feros, it kind of feels like this game just isn’t interested in engaging you visually. But then you reach Virmire and you have vibrant greens contrasting with crashing ocean waves against a spectacular backdrop of lightning. You even get some scuttling indigenous life and some birds to give the place a little flair of verisimilitude.

Come for the beautiful weather! Stay for the mind-control enslavement and eventual eradication of all organic life!
Come for the beautiful weather! Stay for the mind-control enslavement and eventual eradication of all organic life!

There’s a lot going on here. The Wrex confrontation, the Salarian commandos, the indoctrination research, the meeting with Saren, and the Kaiden / Ashley choice. So we’re probably going to need to spend a few entries on this.

We arrive at Saren’s compound and find that he’s cured the genophage and is pumping out an army of Krogan. He’s also researching indoctrination. This guy has all kinds of hobbies.

Wrex finds out about the cure, and doesn’t like the idea of us blowing it up in the process of stopping Saren. So we have to talk him down. Now is a good time to talk about…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mass Effect Retrospective 8: Racists! In! Spaaaaaaace!”

 


 

Spooky’s House of Jump Scares Episode 1: The Boring Episode

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Aug 12, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 120 comments

Warning: The following video contains images that may cause extreme terror in some viewers that are Campster.

Campster discretion is advised.


Link (YouTube)

We needed a a couple of silly one-off episodes before we start the next season of Spoiler Warning, which is still a secret that I can’t tell you and you will never figure out so you probably shouldn’t bother trying.

I want to stress that this is a free game, and I’m not even sure why or how it was made. It’s very likely that all of the seemingly dumb and goofy things here were done on purpose. The title screen makes it pretty clear this thing isn’t trying to be Amnesia. So while we’re laughing at the game in confusion, please don’t mistake this for some sort of mocking “CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW LAME THIS INDIE GAME IS?” shtick. These are just our honest gut reactions to unexpected content in an unknown game.

EDIT: Talking to my daughter Esther confirms my suspicions that this game was designed to exploit, mock, or comment on the fad of “Scream Streams” where people play through jump-scare games and over-react for the audience. Five Nights at Freddie’s is the most notable example of the genre. A game that’s made for streamers instead of the masses.

 


 

Diecast #116: Voice Acting, King’s Quest, Windows 10

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Aug 11, 2015

Filed under: Diecast 183 comments


Hosts: Shamus, Pushing Up Roses, Campster, Rutskarn, and Josh.

Thanks so much to Pushing Up Roses for being on the show.

Show notes: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #116: Voice Acting, King’s Quest, Windows 10”

 


 

Experienced Points: King’s Quest and the Reboot of an Entire Genre

By Shamus Posted Monday Aug 10, 2015

Filed under: Column 49 comments

My column this week talks about how hard it is to reboot something like King’s Quest, which is a game mostly defined by its adherence to tradition. I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m complaining that King’s Quest didn’t abandon its established style and chase after every new trend. I actually find its dedication to its core fans to be admirable, even if I wasn’t one of those fans.

We’ll talk about this more on the Diecast this week, which will hopefully go up tomorrow.

 


 

Mass Effect Retrospective 7: Queen of Zerglings

By Shamus Posted Sunday Aug 9, 2015

Filed under: Mass Effect 205 comments

One of the sad things about the big reveal of the bug-like Rachni in Peak 15 is that for a lot of players it probably didn’t feel like a big reveal. The Rachni War is probably the single most important event to happen in the galaxy since the last time the Reapers went on tour, but the game never goes out of its way to let you know that beforehand.

A Brief History of the Rachni

DO NOT TAP ON TANK.
DO NOT TAP ON TANK.

Two thousand years before Commander Shepard was given his license to fly around the galaxy and Shoot Shit in The Name of Peace, some enterprising Salarian popped open a mass relay, took a look around the system on the other side, and was promptly captured by the Rachni that lived there. The Rachni reverse-engineered the ship, built some of their own, and started kicking the galaxy’s ass. They were kicking so much ass that the council races were basically screwed.

So the Salarians – masters at implementing terrible ideas in clever ways – uplifted the Krogan. The Krogan weren’t much for doing things like inventing spaceships or zap guns or space suits, but once the Salarians gave them these things the Krogan were able – delighted even! – to solve the Rachni problem as violently as possible. They eradicated the bugs from space, then eradicated them on their homeworlds, then bombed the surface just to make sure.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mass Effect Retrospective 7: Queen of Zerglings”