Mass Effect Retrospective 50: The Final Affrontier

By Shamus Posted Thursday Jun 2, 2016

Filed under: Mass Effect 300 comments

Now that the Star Child has explained his nonsensical purpose of solving a problem by perpetrating the same problem on an even grander scale, he asks Shepard to pick a new solution from three available choices. I don’t know why. Even if we accept the idea that mass cyclic genocide is an appropriate solution to the allegedly inevitable conflict between synthetics and organics, Shepard has done nothing to suggest he’s worthy or knowledgeable enough to participate in this decision. To the Star Child, he’s just a wounded meatbag soldier that crawled in here.

Also: All of the three solutions result in Shepard’s death.

If the Star Child really believes that his solution is no longer working and that he needs a new one, and if he really believes that Shepard is the guy to make this decision, then why do the Reapers continue to press the attack? Why not stop the assault while Shepard mulls it over? Why doesn’t Shepard ask for more time, or if he can use one of his lifelines to call a friend? Arrogantly making unilateral life-and-death decisions on behalf of the galaxy is what the Reapers stand for, not Shepard.

The Star Child has no good reason to be killing organics. But if we pretend he does, then he has no reason to think that Shepard showing up should change that reasoning. But even if he did, there’s no reason to think that Shepard should be the one to decide on a new solution. But if he was, then shouldn’t he come up with a solution on his own, instead of picking from A, B, or C? But even if it makes sense for the Star Child to provide the choices, there’s no given reason to constrain the choices to these particular three thingsFor example, why can’t Shepard destroy ONLY the Reapers and not the Geth? If you’re giving Shepard all the power, then why can’t Shepard just TELL you to have all the Reapers fly into the sun without him needing to kill himself first?. But even if that made sense, there’s no reason Shepard needs to kill himself to make these choices happen. And even if that were true, there’s no reason for Shepard to believe that any of these things are true.

Sure, you can come up with your own justifications for a few of these. You can extrapolate if you want. Maybe if you glue on enough fan-fiction you can get through this scene. But this is the big reveal at the end. The writer tied the whole universe in knots to to make this moment happen, and the big reveal at the end is actually a fill-in-the-blanks homework project. The whole thing is just so nakedly arbitrary.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mass Effect Retrospective 50: The Final Affrontier”

 


 

Fallout 4 EP1: Lore Never Changes

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jun 1, 2016

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 179 comments


Link (YouTube)

In this episode we argued if it had been 3 or 4 years since the last time we played Fallout on the show. We were ALL wrong. We covered New Vegas FIVE YEARS AGO.

We’re playing a lot of Fallout 4 around here these days, which is giving me a first-hand look at the radically different ways people approach this game:

My son Issac (14) is not a roleplayer. He plays Fallout 4 because he likes finding legendary items, killing legendary creatures, and collecting suits of power armor. Doesn’t care to mess with mods. (His other two big games are Terraria and Borderlands 2.) He’s only ever made one character (named Issac) who is the default male character. He’s level 68 right now, which I didn’t even know was possible.

My daughter Esther (16) is a roleplayer. She gets getting mods for more customization options. She likes making characters and building houses, like she’s playing a first-person version of the sims where you sometimes need to murder the neighbors.

I continue to play as I always have: Tons of mods, permadeath, and ignore the main quest in favor of collecting comic books. I’m still playing female characters based off the same base save from 2015, since I haven’t worked up the energy to sit through the intro again.

In the episode I said the intro is “perfunctory, but not short”. It’s not long enough or in-depth enough to build a strong attachment to these characters, but it is long enough to get in the way of the fun. And even if the writing had more punch, this engine is terrible at melodrama. The stiff facial expressions. The stilted animations. The awkward pace of conversations where characters either pause too long before delivering their lines, or they talk over each other.

We’ll talk more about this as the series goes on, but this intro is pretty good at showcasing the upcoming problems with the game. I have many nice things to say about Fallout 4, but none of them are related to the main quest.

 


 

Rutskarn’s GMinars CH5: Foundations, Continued

By Rutskarn Posted Wednesday Jun 1, 2016

Filed under: Tabletop Games 33 comments

Designing Your Session

As I’ve mentioned, there’s no such thing as a “right” way to prepare a session. Some GMs like to plan down to the minute detail, some like to keep it broad and leave plenty of room for improvisation. I can’t tell you what’s going to work for you, but I can provide a couple broad genres of one-off gaming sessions and break down the most important elements of each. Then, in a future session, I’ll address these options in greater depth.

Type 1: The Classic Line

Or: The players encounter a dangerous problem. To get what they want, whether that’s treasure or survival or the answers to a mystery, they need to solve that problem. Doing so means solving other problems, one after another, until they finally get what they want.

The Classic Line is by far the most common and crowd-pleasing kind of adventure. It’s particularly well suited to old-school games like Dungeons and Dragons which encourages players (through comparatively limited, combat-focused rules) not to think too far outside of the dungeon or puzzle room or battlefield they happen to have been led to.

Examples: The party is attacked by assassins, discover the killers were hired by an evil wizard, and must defeat the wizard in his tower to stave off future attacks. The party is paid to discover how a wealthy inventor was murdered, and in the process will face hitmen and the full fury of a technocratic conspiracy. A mysterious buyer offers a reward for anyone who can navigate a labyrinth and bring back the jeweled scepter within.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Rutskarn’s GMinars CH5: Foundations, Continued”

 


 

This Dumb Industry: The Mistakes DOOM Didn’t Make

By Shamus Posted Tuesday May 31, 2016

Filed under: Column 145 comments

So the fourth DOOM game is out, which some addled marketing critter has decided should be named “DOOM”, even though that name was already taken. Sigh.

Dear Marketing: We name things so other human beings know what the shit we’re talking about when we start making mouth-noises at each other.

I guess that idea is apparently too profound for the doofus who decided to make the game sound “cooler” by leaving off the number. So for the rest of history we’re doing to have to differentiate between the two games by calling them “DOOM 1993” and “DOOM 2016”. So by leaving off a number they have obliged everyone to add another, more awkward number. And they have retroactively done the same to the original DOOM.

So thanks for that, dipshit. Also I can’t wait to see your solution when it comes time to make the fifth DOOM game and you have to decide if you want to name it DOOM 2 or DOOM 5 or just DOOM again. Or maybe DO4M? Or maybe DOOM: Rise of the Doom Raider? Or perhaps DOOM: DOOM?

Yawn.
Yawn.

But whatever. It turns out that this complaint over the name – which, let’s be honest, is really petty – is about the only negative thing I have to say about it. Well, that and the box art, which just screams out, “This is another by-the-numbers shooter. There’s nothing here you haven’t seen before.” My point is, all my complaints are directed at the marketing department, because this game is solid fun and a worthy successor to the DOOM name.

There are a lot of mistakes they could have made, but didn’t:

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “This Dumb Industry: The Mistakes DOOM Didn’t Make”

 


 

Errant Hitman

By Shamus Posted Monday May 30, 2016

Filed under: Video Games 30 comments

Chris and Josh got together to stream some Hitman for everyone. This is the result. It’s a lot of fun.


Link (YouTube)

I love that Hitman seems to have turned itself around so quickly. Hitman: Absolution was so bad on so many levels, and I just assumed it was in the wrong creative hands and there was no way for the series to pull out of that nosedive.

But here we are. The idiotic story is gone, along with the ugly, overblown cutscenes. We’re back on proper thematic ground, with Agent 47 traveling the world and assassinating important targets instead of bouncing around the United States fighting wrestlers and bondage nuns. The levels are large and open again. Disguises are useful again.

I haven’t played it yet. As I’ve belabored in the past, my gaming habits don’t mesh well with episodic games. But it’s still good to see Agent 47 back in his element.

 


 

Shamus Plays LOTRO #14: Sogmorten

By Shamus Posted Sunday May 29, 2016

Filed under: Shamus Plays 17 comments

Thanks so much to the smart-alec who mailed me 21 pies. I will get you for this.

Side note: Someone really did mail Lulzy 21 pies while I was writing this series.

Having fled Tuckborough before there was enough daylight for the locals to lynch me, I’ve since headed east and now find myself in the burgh of Frogmorten.

Trust me, it smells worse than it looks.
Trust me, it smells worse than it looks.

Let me tell you about Frogmorten. If you were to…

1) Dig a crater.
2) Allow it to fill with stagnant water.
3) Build some dilapidated houses at the bottom.
4) Fill the houses with crazy people.

…you would have a place that – while not exactly a replica of Frogmorten – would be a place where existing Frogmorten residents would feel right at home.

The place is a soggy pit inhabited strange looking people that tend to stare a lot and speak very little. The “town square” is a sinkhole. No, really:

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Shamus Plays LOTRO #14: Sogmorten”

 


 

Salt and Sanctuary EP3: Saltine Snacktuary

By Shamus Posted Friday May 27, 2016

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 53 comments


Link (YouTube)

That was the most laughs I’ve had on the show in a while. I’m glad we covered this game. And I think we pretty much cracked the secret of this thing. Remember, if you’re having trouble with a particular section: Be Careful!

Someone should put that advice on Gamefaqs.

Next week: Probably Fallout 4.

 


 
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