TV I’m Not Watching: Star Trek Discovery

By Shamus Posted Sunday Oct 1, 2017

Filed under: Television 177 comments

So the new Star Trek series is out. I’d like to watch it. Reportedly, the first few episodes aren’t bad. But it’s produced by CBS and only available using their own streaming service CBS All Access.

Now, this sucks because it means creating a new account and maybe downloading new apps or whatever. Will it play on my Phone? On my Roku? In my web browser of choice? Do they have enough streaming servers to handle the load, or will this be like watching YouTube in 2008? For the sake of argument, let’s just assume CBS has spent the money to build solid apps and infrastructure.

They’re asking for $6 a month. That’s shockingly high in today’s market. Basic cable – which includes CBS – is only about $40 and includes many channels, so asking $6 for just one channel is a lot. Netflix streaming costs double what CBS is asking and they have a comparatively massive library that includes many blockbusters.

This is particularly odd since you’d expect them to come in low with an introductory price and then jack the price up later once you’re hooked on the content. (And for some people, simply too lazy or distracted to cancel.)

And then you realize that the CBS deal includes commercials. If you want commercial-free streaming the price goes up to $10.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “TV I’m Not Watching: Star Trek Discovery”

 


 

Borderlands Part 11: The Firehawk

By Shamus Posted Thursday Sep 28, 2017

Filed under: Borderlands 59 comments

For this next chapter, let’s imagine the world from Roland’s perspective:

Roland is in his base in Sanctuary. He’s heard some radio chatter about a badass vault hunter coming this way. He’s eager to meet this person, but he has to leave town to talk to Lilith and for some reason he doesn’t just call her on the ECHOnet. Sure, it’s apparently 100% insecure, but that doesn’t seem to stop everyone else from jabbering all their plans over the airwaves.

Anyway, he makes this recording:

“Hey soldier. If you’re hearing this, I’m in trouble. Right now you’re the only thing standing between this city – hell the whole planet – and Handsome Jack’s Army. I left info about my whereabouts in my safe. You can use it to store anything you need. This is your home now. Good luck.”

He drops this recording on his desk and leaves.

When you show up later and check the safe there’s a threatening message from the Firehawk, who has apparently kidnapped Roland. Firehawk says, “Come to [my base] or people will die.” The Firehawk is using a voice modulator to disguise their voice, which makes no sense. Everyone talks about how dangerous the Firehawk is and how Roland is probably dead if the Firehawk has captured him.

So apparently Roland had a message from his own kidnapper. Inside of his own safe. And before he was kidnapped, he somehow made a note urging you to listen to this recording.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Borderlands Part 11: The Firehawk”

 


 

No Man’s Sky One Year Later: A Few Good Things

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Sep 26, 2017

Filed under: Retrospectives 55 comments

Maybe you’re wondering why I spent so much time with this game. Shamus, if you hate the game so much then why not just play something else?

I love procedural worlds. I mean, obviously. I love expansive exploration. The only reason I stopped playing Skyrim was because I’d basically exhausted the world and had too many of the dungeons memorized. It took me years to kick my Minecraft habit, and all it would take is one good modpack to get me to relapse.

No Man’s Sky provides more explorable space than any other game. There’s tons of variety. I enjoy seeing what’s over the next rise, on the next world, and in the next system. If the gameplay could have been upgraded from “aggressively disappointing” to simply “kinda dull” I’d have been able to enjoy it for months.

Meet Donny

*FART NOISES*
*FART NOISES*

Let’s say you’re playing one of those tabletop games that NERDS like so much. The setting is great. You’re really happy with your character. The story is pretty interesting so far. There’s lots of laughing and fun around the table. Everything is great except…

Except for Donny.

Donny is a jackass. He’s loud, abrasive, argumentative, and entitled. He eats more than everyone else, he never chips in for food, and he’s always knocking things over and spilling stuff on the game pieces. He starts fights when he’s bored, which is whenever his character isn’t the center of attention. A couple of girls used to be part of the group, but they left because Donny was such a creep towards them. He throws tantrums when the dice don’t go his way and he watches YouTube videos on his phone at full volume when other characters are having an intense conversation that doesn’t involve him.

Sure, you can ask, “Why are you still going to this group if Donny ruins everything? Why not do something else with your Friday nights?” That’s a fair question. Although a more incisive question would be, “Who the fuck keeps inviting Donny and why can’t we get rid of him?

Yes, I can quit playing No Man’s Sky. In fact, I’ve done so. (I was wrapping up my time with the game just as this series started.) But it’s tragic. Yes, quitting the game solves the problem of being annoyed by the game, but a better solution would have been for the game to stop being so annoying. There are things I love about No Man’s Sky. There are things many people love about No Man’s Sky. Everyone loves exploring these worlds. But like I said last week, the game is engineered to create disappointment.

But not everything is bad. After three weeks of constant negativity, it’s time for me to be positive. Or at least try to. Look, I’m not making any promises, I’m just saying I’ll try to be nice. The updates did manage to get a few things right and I want to list them here in the interest of encouraging more of this sort of thing.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “No Man’s Sky One Year Later: A Few Good Things”

 


 

TV I’m Watching: The Grand Tour

By Shamus Posted Sunday Sep 24, 2017

Filed under: Television 68 comments

Before we can talk about The Grand Tour, we have to talk about Top Gear.

Top Gear was a strange show. At it’s high point it was the most widely watched factual TV program in the world. The show began in 1977 as a fussy, just-the-facts automobile program. Based on the clips I’ve seen on YouTube it had a dash of humor, but it was still dedicated to something approximating automotive journalism. The show died out in the 90s and was then rebooted in 2002. The new version of the show was a little slicker and maybe had a little more joking around, but it was still trying to review cars and discuss motoring news.

Over the next decade the humor element of the show grew. It became more about the hosts and less about the cars. The cast seemed to go through a certain degree of flanderization. Jeremy Clarkson got more bombastic. James May became even more of a fussy old man. There was a proliferation of short jokes about Richard Hammond.

BBC was in a strange spot. They had the most popular television show in the world, but the show also caused a lot of controversy and complaints, usually (but not always) due to Jeremy Clarkson’s big mouth. I can’t begin to sum up the differences the two had, but they were far-reaching. In 2015 after numerous disagreements and warnings, Clarkson finally went too far and the BBC dumped him. Hammond and May jumped ship shortly after, along with the fourth invisible member of the team, producer Andy Wilman.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “TV I’m Watching: The Grand Tour”

 


 

Overhaulout Part 5: The Story of James

By Rutskarn Posted Friday Sep 22, 2017

Filed under: Video Games 59 comments

Fallout 3’s James is a terrible main character–possibly because he wasn’t understood to be in some ways the main character. His actions, principles, and backstory solely drive the main quest right up until he dies. This week is about making all that count for something: making the player’s relationship with and study of James something useful and worthwhile.

There’s a lot we stand to improve, but these are my chief objectives:

  • The story should provide a genuine mystery players feel they’re solving. I don’t mean adding detective mechanics or even detective-lite sequences, like Fallout 4 dabbles in. When I say the story should be a “mystery,” I mean there should be a progression from unexplained but important event–> disconnected facts that are but incomplete but intriguing–> revelations that suggest possibilities –> satisfying conclusion. That’s a pretty standard formula for hooking, motivating, and entertaining an audience presented with a question that needs answering, like, “Why did my dad just vanish?” Currently the story runs from unexplained but important event–>directions to the end of the mystery–>directions to the end of the mystery–>the mystery unravels abruptly.Technically, by having your character’s birth take place in a location not available inside the vault, the game provides a subtle clue to the mystery of “what’s up with dad.” Which would be great, if it weren’t the only clue. That’s sort of mechanically functional, since a big part of the game is in journeying from place to place, but it’s also dull and doesn’t make efficient or memorable use of the setup.
  • Make more complete use of the characters and locations already employed by the story. If you cut Megaton from the main quest’s gameplay, that’d be a huge loss—it serves a lot of mechanical functionality. But from a story perspective, Megaton is totally dispensable. It doesn’t inform our understanding of James’ character or our mission to find him in anything but the most perfunctory fashion: “he went that-a-way.” Let’s fix that.

I’m going to proceed through the locations of the main quest in order. For each location, I’ll do two related rewrites: one that makes a drastic alteration to the location’s history vis-a-vis its relationship with James, another that makes minor alterations to how the player finds it and what cluesAgain, not even clues in the sense that they functionally permit the mystery to be solved; just clues in the sense that they encourage the player to actually speculate about the information they’ve received. are available there. In doing so I’m going to set a new rule for myself: in his life before Vault 101, James should have progressed from area to area in the same chronological order as the player. This not only makes it easier for the player to eventually connect the clues they’ve found and figure out what their father was up to, it suggests a sense of continuity between the main characters. By the time they meet James, they’ll have walked in his shoes: they’ll have seen what he’s seen and understand why he made his choices. This is important because before long, James will die, and the player will have to decide whether they’re going to follow in his footsteps or choose their own path.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Overhaulout Part 5: The Story of James”

 


 

Borderlands Part 10: More Characters

By Shamus Posted Thursday Sep 21, 2017

Filed under: Borderlands 42 comments

Since the city of Sanctuary is the only real town in the game, the developers were able to pack it full of interesting details and a large cast of characters. You get a few quests as you enter town that will steer you into meeting these people.

Sir Hammerlock

Trivia: This voice actor also does the (english) voice of Kyoya Ootori from Ouran High School Host Club, and Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist. This role is... not like those other two.
Trivia: This voice actor also does the (english) voice of Kyoya Ootori from Ouran High School Host Club, and Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist. This role is... not like those other two.

Technically we met Sir Hammerlock during the previous chapter, but I was too busy complaining about pacing to introduce him. He is both a zoologist and a big game hunter, which is kind of like being a marine biologist and a whale hunter. Sure you can be both of those things at the same time, but people generally… aren’t. But this underscores two important points:

  1. The wildlife on Pandora is crazy dangerous, to the point where a zoologist has to be able to slay creatures just to do his job.
  2. Everyone on this planet is a little crazy, even the scientists. No, especially the scientists.

He’s one of my favorite characters in the series and I’m always glad when one of his ridiculous jobs of questionable scientific merit comes up.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Borderlands Part 10: More Characters”

 


 

No Man’s Sky One Year Later: The Disappointment Engine

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Sep 19, 2017

Filed under: Retrospectives 144 comments

There is a very distinct rhythm to playing No Man’s Sky. It’s been a part of the game since launch, and even after an entire year of updates it still holds true: No Man’s Sky is a disappointment engine. I don’t just mean the game was a disappointment when it came out. I mean the game seems to have been designed to create a series of frustrating let-downs as you adventure across the galaxy.

Problem: Find some shortcoming or annoyance in the game. Usually, but not always, this annoyance stems from the inventory system.

Solution: Maybe you think of it on your own, or maybe you check the wiki, but you find a possible solution for the problem. You realize that the solution is going to be a long, frustrating, unrewarding grind. But you do it anyway, in the hopes that you’ll be able to have more fun once the task is over.

Disappointment: Once you’ve completed your goal, you realize the reward is incredibly underwhelming, not worth the effort, and doesn’t even fix the original problem.

There are a lot of these moments in the game. I can’t enumerate them all. But let’s look at a few that really got to me…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “No Man’s Sky One Year Later: The Disappointment Engine”