A New Spell

By Shamus Posted Friday Jun 8, 2007

Filed under: Tabletop Games 35 comments

In the comments of this post a reader notes their overlong comment and remarks that they posted a “wall of text”.

Reader Zaghadka responds:

What a great idea for a spell:

“Wall of Text” (Illusion, Bureaumancy)

Upon casting this spell the mage bathes a 10′x10′ cube/lvl. area with mindless mutterings, ranting, copious formulaic backstory, or repeated iterations of “Romani ite Domus!”

Anyone in the area of effect must make a will save or suffer one of three effects: Confusion, Emotion of Hopelessness, or their head explodes. Blind targets are not affected. Dyslexic targets save at +3.

Counterspell: Erase

Perfect. I’m still laughing.

 


 

Jade Empire: Character System

By Shamus Posted Thursday Jun 7, 2007

Filed under: Game Reviews 29 comments

(NOTE: I wrote this weeks ago and then forgot all about it. Recently I was playing a different RPG which brought all of this to mind.)

Being a real-time fighting game, Jade Empire is very different from other character development systems. (“Character development” in this context means the player increasing the stats of their in-game persona – leveling up, and whatnot – and has nothing to do with developing characters in the sense of establishing personalities and getting to know NPCs.)

Some games are very level-driven. Diablo is a good example. In that game, having good equipment and decent skills at playing will tilt the odds in your favor, but never so much that you could overcome a monster ten levels above you. Levels are everything in that game. By the time you finish Diablo, you will be doing at least an order of magnitude more damage than you were at level 1. If you were to take a level 1 Diablo character and transport them to the final levels of the game, it would be impossible to play. Even the weakest monsters would kill the player in a single blow.

Jade Empire sits at the opposite extreme. Levels just don’t have much impact on the game. You have three stats (Body, Spirit, and Mind) and each level you get a mere three points to spend on these stats. In the long run, those points just don’t ammount to much. In my game, a majority of my points came through questing, and just 28% of them came as a result of leveling up. This means if I had gone through the entire game and remained at level 1, my stats would only be 28% lower by the end. Where in Diablo an end-of-game character might be doing ten or twenty times more damage than a new character, in Jade Empire your damage will – at best – double during the course of the game.

The other aspect of the leveling system is the sheer simplicity of it. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Jade Empire: Character System”

 


 

Pedantic Nitpicking

By Shamus Posted Thursday Jun 7, 2007

Filed under: Rants 0 comments

Steven talks about some of the reasons he quit writing at his primary site a few years ago. As his site grew, he started getting mail that would “set his teeth on edge”. Steven recently said:

What I really hated was people who could only see details and were obsessed with them. I could predict what kinds of things would cause them to respond.

I know exactly what he’s talking about. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Pedantic Nitpicking”

 


 

Links to Lileks

By Shamus Posted Thursday Jun 7, 2007

Filed under: Links 14 comments

Back in 1999, I was a 3d modeler / texture mapping artist. I wasn’t particularly talented. I’m still not. I just don’t have a lot of artistic style, but I made up for it with raw technical knowledge and a Jedi-Master level command of shortcut keys. Sometimes I’d get an assignment to to something that required a bit more art than I had to give. At one point I needed to come up with some realistic domestic scenery: Houses, interiors, and whatnot. I wasn’t sure where to begin.

I turned to Google Image Search, looking for stuff on interior design. I was hoping for some sort of crash-course on home interiors. Instead I found James Lileks’ Interior Desecrators and I blew the next hour or so of work surfing around his site and laughing. Eventually I stumbled on his blog (although I don’t think I knew the word “blog” at the time) and I’ve been reading The Bleat ever since. He’s a newspaper columnist. He’s not as funny as Dave Barry, but that’s like saying he’s poorer than Sheik Al-Mufar Petrol III and he’s not quite as focused as Batman. There are worse faults a man can have. Anyway, I love his work.

I even subscribed to the on-line portion of his newspaper Star Tribune, just so I could read his column there. A couple of years ago they cut his already-meager newspaper column down, and what was once a “fun size” bag of Fritos became A Frito, singular. He was the only reason I visited their site, and sometimes they couldn’t give the guy enough space to sum up the plot to an episode of Full House. It seemed silly to me, but then I’m half a country away and not exactly their target audience. Maybe they didn’t care if I was reading or not.

Then some sort of buyout happened, and they took Lileks away from his Quirky Column duties and were going to make him a reporter. A recorder. A summerizer of events. A job that, by its very definition, precludes the making of ironic observations or the spouting of witticisms. This is like giving James Earl Jones a job as a movie theater projectionist. Sure, I bet he could do it, but aren’t there better things you could have this guy do?

The news spread on the internet, and There Was An Outcry. As with most outcries on the internet, there really weren’t any instances of anyone crying out, but I was vaguely aware that some people got mad and blogged about it.

The paper has changed their minds. They have decided to pay Lileks to blog. Here.

From his debut post:

Hello everyone: I'm the new Buzz.mn content-wrangler. I'd say “editor,” but to me, the words “James Lileks, Editor” look like “Wile E. Coyote, Genius.”

Do give it a look. Maybe say hi. The site even has open(ish) comments, which is pretty cutting-edge thing for a newspaper site to do.

 


 

DM of the Rings CIX:
Give Peace a Chance

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jun 6, 2007

Filed under: DM of the Rings 82 comments

The King of the Dead appears!
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “DM of the Rings CIX:
Give Peace a Chance”

 


 

On the Internet

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jun 5, 2007

Filed under: Rants 76 comments

Here is a conversation with people in the real world:

Me: I went to Mel’s Diner the other night and got the fish sandwich. They put mayo on it, which I thought was gross.

My Friend: Really? You don’t like that? That’s one of my favorites. I like their fries, too.

Me: Oh yeah. The thick-cut ones? Those are good.

My Friend: Good times, good times.

Now the same conversation, on the internet:

Me: I went to Mel’s Diner the other night and got the fish sandwich. They put mayo on it, which I thought was gross.

Commenter#1: I can’t believe you don’t like the mayo you must be retarded.

Commenter#2: Why would you forbid them from putting mayo on things! Are you some kind of fascist?!?!

Commenter#3: I would have taken that sandwich and shoved it in the waitress’ face if she was ever stupid enough to do that to me!

Commenter#4: It was tartar sauce you dumbass.

Commenter#5: You’re wrong. The mayo is what makes that sandwich great. If you’re not smart enough to realize that maybe you should stick with McDonalds!

Commenter#6: Then don’t eat it. DUH! Nobody had a gun to your head.

Commenter#7: If you bothered to learn about other culture’s you would realise that not everyone likes the same thing you do in other countrys they put mayo on all kind of things dont be so close minded.

 


 

Prey: Kids as Videogame Victims

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jun 5, 2007

Filed under: Game Reviews 95 comments

<strong>Left:</strong> Little girl. <strong> Center:</strong> Little Boy.  <strong>Right:</strong> Totally uncalled for.
Left: Little girl. Center: Little Boy. Right: Totally uncalled for.
In working my way through Prey, I came upon a scene where a kid was killed. One little girl turned into a ghost of some sort, and killed a little boy by impaling him on some alien equipment. This is about the worst thing I’ve seen in a videogame in a long time.

I can’t recall ever seeing a child die a bloody on-screen death in a horror movie. Maybe it happens, but if it does it must be rare. No matter how evil the foe, there is usually an unspoken agreement with the audience that the kid lives. Barring that, they die off-screen. This is supposed to be entertainment, after all. The moment a kid dies it stops being entertaining or scary. Our instincts to protect children go too deep, and when the audience sees something like that they are going to be yanked out of the story. They are no longer frightened, because they are no longer taking part in the experience. This is particularly true of people who have kids. Kids might die in a drama, but creating nameless underage “extras” to be slaughtered is a major violation of the viewer’s expectations and they will probably rebel by disconnecting from the story if they don’t quit it outright. As a storyteller you can break or bend this rule if you like, but you had better be careful and you had better know what the hell you’re doing.

And more to the point, Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Prey: Kids as Videogame Victims”