DM of the Rings CIX:
Give Peace a Chance

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jun 6, 2007

Filed under: DM of the Rings 81 comments

The King of the Dead appears!
To fight, or not to fight?

Yeah, the movie tie-in was an easy target here. (You can count on me to go for easy targets.)


From The Archives:

81 thoughts on “DM of the Rings CIX:
Give Peace a Chance

  1. Culinte says:

    Ha! Excellent!

  2. Jonathan San says:

    First! Nice one Shamus.

  3. AndiN says:

    “Parley”! Brilliant! Laughed out loud at that one!

  4. Nais says:

    They (Legolas) finally remembered one in-game name: Helm’s Keep… :)=

  5. TooMad says:

    Isn’t it parlay? Or is she just acting in character?

  6. Browncoat says:

    Oh, be a man Legolas. Oh, wait. Nevermind.

    I’ll start over.

    C’mon Gimli. Aragorn summoned them. They appeared. Now ask them where the treasure is.

    Nice strip, Shamus.

  7. Jeremiah says:

    I like the different color text for the different characters. That’s new, right? Or am I completely blind?

  8. Shamus says:

    I thought it was “Parlay” as well, but apparently that’s a gambling move of some sort. The meeting sort is spelled “parley” according to (Thanks to my wife for pointing this out before I integrated the wrong version into my comic.)

  9. Shamus says:

    Jeremiah: I did it once a long time ago back in VII. I only use it when I think it might otherwise be hard to tell who is talking.

  10. Keldin says:

    I’d like to see Shamus’ biography on the players of these characters – -I’m sure Shamus has one worked up (they may even be based on people he knows or composites thereof.) The guy playing Legolas is just as clueless as they come (rather like Orlando Bloom, but I digress.) The byplay between him and whoever is running Gimli is a heck of a lot funnier than the rather lame comic relief these two characters were used for in the films.

  11. islandergirlro says:

    Man that last panel did it for me. XD

  12. The_Mighty_Brain says:

    ghost king: Who came up with parlay!?!

    Gimli: That would be the french.

    Legalass: And french fries!

  13. Cenobite says:

    Of course, the MAIN reason why it won’t be just like Helm’s Deep II: Going Deeper With A Vengeance is because THESE guys are ALREADY dead. That makes them particularly hard to kill…again.

  14. Shaggy says:

    Nice movie tie in. I love how everything is about how much butt you (or Legolas) can kick. Also like the different color text for the different characters. Is that new?

  15. Marmot says:

    How do you kill that which is already dead? I do hope to see the scene of Legolas shooting the arrow in the next one though! It’s a true cliffhanger!

  16. Pariah Press says:

    I found the colored lettering to be really distracting. Also, did Legolas actually SHOOT the bow? It’s a bit unclear. Perhaps a sound-effect (“twang!”) or somesuch would be appropriate?

  17. ShadoStahker says:

    By Nais:

    They (Legolas) finally remembered one in-game name: Helm's Keep… :)=

    Helm’s Deep, actually.

    About as close as New Menorians.

  18. Browncoat says:

    Only appropriate if he fired. I read it that he didn’t. (Smart Lass.)

  19. Clyde says:

    Well, actually it was “parlez” until we Anglophones got ahold of it. But it was, indeed, the perfect line for Legolass/Will Turn-her.

  20. scldragonfish says:

    I actually had the unfortunate experience of watching POTC III day before yesterday. No matter what story it is…a trilogy always has one movie out of it that sucks.

    Visually it was beautiful. I’m sure our ADD oriented generation found it very exciting. There was so much action that the plot died about halfway through.

    Proving my point–Keira Knightley doing a William Wallace-esque type speech to a bunch of pirates who didn’t even have to fight in the end. SUCKFEST!!!

    That’s why I take comfort here. If you should happen to want to do another parody…My vote is DM of POTC!

  21. The Pancakes says:

    If we’re voting for Next Comic, I vote for DM of the Galaxy. I want to see what the hobbits went and did.

  22. jperk31260 says:

    I was still expecting Aragorn to ask for the treasure.
    A: Waiting for me to speak fine, umm Ghoslty King where is your treasure.
    Nice Strip though

  23. General Ghoul says:

    Stab- happy. A stabbity death for that one.

  24. Zudrak says:

    Shamus, thanks for the great comic. My wife died of cancer on May 21 and this is the first I’ve gotten back to the site. The hilarity has thankfully ensued since then. Being able to laugh again (heartily, no less) is precious to me right now. So, keep it up. I can use three good laughs a week. It sure helps to heal.

    My bride was a huge LOTR fan and enjoyed playing D&D/C&C with our group. She would have appreciated this “adventure” through LOTR had she been healthy. Again, keep it up!

    Happy gaming,

  25. Isoyami says:

    @Zudrak (#24)

    Really sorry to hear that, man. Condolences.

    Back to the comic… that was great. I’m surprised Gimli hasn’t had the urge to smack Leggylass a few times by now, hehe.

    And the two last shots of Lego (The sneer in frame 8 and the fear in frame 11) are absolute gold. :D

  26. jinx says:

    I was watching star wars: a new hope last night, and in my head, I was thinking what i would say in various scenes if i was role playing the whole thing…I found a new appreciation for that movie

  27. Guy says:

    Actually, I smell two movie tie-ins. In the first panel, Staragorn does a pretty good Neo.

  28. Mike says:

    My sincere condolances, Zudrak.

  29. Scarlet Knight says:

    “Stab-happy nitwit” …Love it… stealing it!

  30. Da Rogue says:


    … Stinking Legolass thinks she can take my job…

    … it does remind me of when my rogue attacked a land shark at lvl 4. Course I rolled really well on that one.

  31. Susano says:

    Hey, POTC III wasn’t that bad. I mean, it could have been worse, it could have been the Matrix sequels….

    Oh, and yes, this made me laugh put loud! I loved it!

    Wait, does this mean the elves created mayonnaise?

  32. brassbaboon says:

    More brilliantosity from Shamus. “Helm’s Keep” hah! Loved the “ye stab-happy nitwit!” from Gimli. But as so many others have pointed out, what happened to Aragorn’s laser-focus on the treasure?

    What I love about the Aragorn character is that the player has not yet grasped that upon ending this campaign he, Aragorn, will be the KING of the GREATEST KINGDOM IN MIDDLE EARTH. He’s wanting to root around in some dungeon hoping to find a Ring of Animal Control and a sack of gold and silver coins, while the DM is saying “you have a whole country to win back!”

    I can almost hear the player saying “I understand that Mr. DM guy, but you don’t understand! It’s more FUN to find it in a dungeon!”

  33. John Thompson says:

    “Parlay” Cultural cross referencing is the soul of roleplaying. I always give bonus XP for the best Simpsons reference of the evening (and penalize Monty Python when it crops up).

  34. Mel says:

    Hey Shamus, its “whoa” not “woah.” And I like the color-coded dialogue

  35. Roxysteve says:

    For all the faults people have picked with the LotR movies, this sequence is the only one that really gave me trouble (and not for the same reasons others have said here). It was the bit where Aragorn goes off-book to engage the King o’ the Undead in swordplay, ending with his sword at the King’s throat.

    Exactly what threat was posed by this, even assuming Narsil could do real damage to these chaps instead of just whistling through ’em?

    The King was cursed to endless undeadism. Try and cut his head off and there are two possible outcomes: a) Nothing, in which case the Ghost King is undamaged in any way and 2) Death, for which the Ghost King has been yearning for centuries.

    This would seem to be a win-win situation for the ghosts and brown-pantaloon time for the three amigos.

    And nope, the skullfall didn’t bother me at all. I thought it rather a nice D&D touch in fact.

    Shamus has used the scene brilliantly and once more dredged up a classic D&D situation – the “player underestimation of the actual danger to the character” one that plagues so many combat-heavy campaigns. Nicely done that man.


  36. Shaggy says:

    Guy, I was thinking the same thing! “woah”.

  37. Bugz says:

    Or, if Andruil slices on the dead king, it really Really REALLY hurts, and still leaves him dead anyway.

    I think I’d be reluctant to test it out, myself.

  38. Caius says:


    I love the Pirates reference! William Turner would be proud!

  39. *bow*

    Pure Awesome in comic form!

    And I like the colored text for the different speakers.

    “Stab Happy Nitwit.” :D

  40. Anders says:

    Heh, pretty brilliant. I just imagine that there really is this weird players out there, I’ve never met them anyway.

    Oh, on a totaly unrelated note, thanks to what you wrote about Shadow of the Colossus I’m now the owner of a PS2 and the game. When it eats all my time, can I send you the bill? ;)

  41. Dodd says:

    “Exactly what threat was posed by this, even assuming Narsil could do real damage to these chaps instead of just whistling through “˜em?”

    I never saw that as a threat per se. Rather, the fact that Narsil was capable of stopping his sword proved that Aragorn was, indeed, the only person who could end their curse. Threatening gestures with his sword after are just to underscore his power over them, not a real threat of violence.

    And, since this is my first comment here, I’d be remiss not to say how terrific this comic, which I’ve been following for some time, has uniformly been. Bravo!

  42. Roger says:

    Shamus, I’m not sure if I like the colour-coded dialogue or not. Maybe in very small doses. I don’t know if I could take the remainder of the series in it, though.

  43. brashieel says:

    Awesome comic. Colored text was unexpected, but after reading the comments I can see why it was used for this one.

    I’m kind of saddened that a parody gets much better use out of Legolas and Gimli than the movies did, though.

  44. Scarlet Knight says:

    Aragorn: Whoooooaaah!
    Legolas: No no no, it’s “Whooooaaaa” from the back of the throat.
    Aragorn: No I mean, “Whoooouuuuaaah!” as in surprise and alarm.
    Gimli: Oh, you mean like, “AAAHH!”

  45. drakest1 says:

    Hey Shamus,
    first post for me here, but I’ve read this from beginning to end. Love the comic. Your comic timing is pretty good. Especially love your screen caps! Somehow you always manage to get just the right one for that character’s speech. Though I bet you must be *really* sick of the Rings movies by now huh? :)

  46. Scarlet Knight says:

    I agree with Dodd; Aragorn demonstrated that he was unlike anyone else who had previously tried to pass. Hence, the look on the Ghost-King’s face when Aragorn grabbed him by the throat and his hand DIDN’T pass through him.

  47. Lord Owl says:

    I love it!

    It really made me laugh :)

  48. Rattastic says:

    I won’t repeat what others have said before, as they have said it so very well. Totally classic Shamus, awesome strip!!!!!!!!!!!


  49. Salen says:

    Now Legolas wants to parley. How unsuprising. Thats still funn though. Great work Shamus.

  50. Lil'German says:

    Whow, that really came… unexpected.
    another prove of your madly twisted genious of a mind.

    *bows* We’re unworthy!

  51. George says:

    people really.. just stop saying “first” because you are never first someone always beats you to it.

    LOL… umm parley?

  52. kriten says:

    nice coloring scheme

    blue: human
    green: elf
    red: dwarf

    I want to like shipwrecked and comatose drinking a mango juice….

  53. kriten says:

    oh noes. it’s

    blue: MAN

    “Rock concert movement number one: the basic head bob… ready? Go!”

  54. Matt says:

    Legolas forgets that they’re missing Gandalf, the one person in Middle Earth who might possibly have the Turn Undead ability. Are there even Clerics in ME? I don’t remember Tolkien ever mentioning a priest of any sort.

  55. Jaja says:

    lovely as always, young shamus :)

  56. 2.5 cats says:

    No clerics in LoTR. No good clerics, anyway. They were all meant to be “virtuous pagans.” What clerics there were were evil: men who worhsippped Sauron, the witch-king of Angmar (pre-Nazgul).

  57. Ees says:

    Well played Sir :) *golf clap*

    I did a marathon of all 3 movies back to back last weekend, and I’ve been waiting for a chance to do my best
    “‘Ello poppet” on some unsuspecting kid…but this takes the cake :) Thanks for the laugh :)

  58. orcbane says:

    I was expecting him to say “Avast ye!”

  59. superfluousk says:

    Goldfish shoals nibbling at your toes?

    Why does everyone refer to Legolas as a “she” now? Last I heard his player was still a guy.

  60. Alasseo says:

    Great Monkey Island reference, Shamus. (I know, I know; but I still maintain that the PotC trilogy was the movie adaptation of Monkey Island, no matter what Disney says)

    On another note, that does give you a way to bring back Gollum: Look, undead monkey!

  61. Cenobite says:

    Very late thought, just occurred to me…

    …but the last frame might possibly have been a wee bit funnier if, instead of taking a screenshot of Orlando Bloom from LOTR, Shamus had used a screenshot of Orlando Bloom from POTC instead.

    Just a wee bit. Prolly not worth the effort of renting another movie, but oh well.

  62. Shamus says:

    Cenobite: I rented PotC for just that reason. (Actually I wanted the pics of Bloom on a ship) but promptly forgot to get the screencaps before the thing was overdue.)

    I hate when I am obliged to cope with the consequences of my own sloth. Sigh.

  63. Scarlet Knight says:

    Shamus Says:

    “Shamus Says:I hate when I am obliged to cope with the consequences of my own sloth. Sigh.”

    Shamus's Mum: Well, young man, you had BETTER take care of that sloth! And don’t you sigh at me! You promised it would be different this time, not like when you begged for that goanna ! And don't get me started on the poor ocelot!

  64. nigel says:

    parsnip panrny par… p p p

    yes thats the one
    parle? to hell the ‘un who thought of parle.

  65. Woerlan says:

    Shamus, use the pirate shots from POTC for the men on the Black Ships once they leave the mountain! Use em! It’ll be funny seeing the three talking with Barbossa.

    Just a suggestion. Great comic BTW. ^_^

  66. Scarlet Knight says:

    Then we can do the “Pirate King” number! Even sneak in Tim Curry from “Muppet Treasure Island”!

  67. Magnate says:

    It’s taken me three days to read all these from the beginning, and they’re *so* good. Thank you – from an ancient 1st Edition AD&Der.

  68. AlpineBob says:

    Three days? I just pulled an all-nighter! Man am I gonna hate work today – but I just couldn’t stop *whimper*
    And they were just so damn funny that now I wanna go read ’em again! I’m afraid I’m just another DMotR addict…

  69. Dan says:

    Ha! Awesome. And I just saw PotC3, too!

  70. haashaastaak says:

    woah should be whoa

  71. Flatline says:

    Everytime I get to Gimli saying “There’s thousands of them, ye stab-happy nitwit!” I just crack up. His expression is perfect!

    You people are right – PotC would be great material for a new strip. You could even transfer over the players. Stoner could play Jack Sparrow, Gimli would take the part of Will Turner and Leggy Lass could be Ms Swan.

    1. WJS says:

      I would switch Gimli and Legolas in that roster; after the crap Aragorn put him through in this game, I don’t see him playing a woman. Gimli on the other hand is quite comfortable doing so, as evidenced by his reference to a princess he played in a previous game. Also, it would be confusing to have a character played by the same actor be a different player.

      I don’t know if Shamus would want to make another comic along the lines of this one, but I am sure he knows if he did he’d have an audience.

  72. Victor says:

    devil damn to the depths who what thought of PARLEY!

    that would be the french

  73. Cynder says:

    The last frame reminds me of Pirates of the Carribean =)

  74. Amanda says:

    hehe very nice

  75. Gonzo says:

    I think the whole thing is even funnier when you consider the fact that the last time this legolas was under parley, he killed the entire opposing side

  76. Hjordis says:

    LOl legolas’ parley reminds me of his actor in pirates of the carribbean. thats way to messed up for this page’s own good……

  77. middle_earth_muggle says:

    Orlando Bloom haterssss!!! We hatesss you, precious, we hatess you aaaalllll!!!!!

    Great comics, by the way. :P

  78. Sarah Atkins says:

    This particular strip inspired me to make my own screencap comic- on guess what! Orlando bloom has a very useful selection of expressions in both films, but nothing compares with the faces of johnny depp! Makes for very enjoyable comic creation.

    You’ve inspired so many people with this comic Shamus! Thanks for a fantastic comic I’ve read over more than I’ve watched the movies themselves!

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