My Day Will Come

By Shamus Posted Saturday Nov 24, 2007

Filed under: Nerd Culture 26 comments

My wife came over and saw me reading this technical document, which is a discussion on the various ways to derive free energy from a portal. In my previous discussion, I focused on preventing getting free kinetic energy from a portal. I never took the electrical applications into account.

My wife looked down at me, “You know, if you took your curiosity and thirst for knowledge and applied it to real subjects instead of fighting zombies and portals, you’d be a lot smarter.”

She mocks me now, but she’ll be glad for my diligence when the shambling undead are beating at our door. I just know it.

UPDATE: Just to be clear, this was said playfully. She’s actually very supportive of my various eccentricities.

 


 

Chainmail Bikini Store

By Shamus Posted Friday Nov 23, 2007

Filed under: Links 5 comments

When Chainmail Bikini was just a few weeks old Shawn and I got a lot of messages from people encouraging us to sell them some T-shirts and whatnot. We didn’t have anything ready because, frankly, we didn’t think there would be any demand yet.

Those requests have stopped coming, which means people have either lost interest, or given up on us entirely. In either case, that means it’s the perfect time to open a store!

I’m posting this to the CB forums as well. I don’t know when we’ll have time to roll out more designs, but if you have requests you can post them here or (even better) in the forums so we can get a feel for demand and what people are interested in.

 


 

Food Rations

By Shamus Posted Friday Nov 23, 2007

Filed under: Tabletop Games 80 comments

Shawn and I were working on Chainmail Bikini this week when we realized we had no idea what the classic D&D “food rations” should look like. These are some of the most common objects in the game, and yet we never see them.

The only time I’ve seen them depicted is in the 1990 game Eye of the Beholder. Someone actually has a screenshot of the game which shows the food rations here.

I’ve sort of carried this image with me since then, although I hadn’t thought about it until Shawn brought it up. In that game they look sort of like a square wrapped in brown paper and tied up with a + of white string. I suppose I’ve always pictured them them this way. This suggests that most adventure parties have people carrying around wads of brown paper and loose string in their packs, or that most parties are made up of rampant litterbugs. (Maybe this is another difference between Lawful and Chaotic characters.) It also suggests that brown paper must be both fireproof and watertight, since players regularly encounter plenty of both without ruining their provisions.

Which brings up another interesting point: What was in them? I’m sure I could Google around and find someone who has not only thought about this, but who has actually prepared and eaten the food rations in real life. (We geeks are funny that way.) But just looking it up is no fun. Roleplayers deal with this stuff all the time. How do you picture them? What do you imagine they have in them? What do you think they taste like?

 


 

Comments Deleted

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 22, 2007

Filed under: Notices 28 comments

I dunno what the deal is, but today there was a rash of flamish, angry posts. I deleted more comments today than I have in the last three weeks.

My Thanksgiving greeting was used as a launching point for talking about the stupidity of the holiday and the deficiencies of a monotheistic god. Neither is a particularly appropriate response to someone expressing gratitude and wishing you well. Next time my wish for you to have a good day gets on your nerves, look towards the BACK button instead of the comments. Good grief.

Other comments were needlessly nitpicky or argumentitive. They survived, but only because I was sick of nuking comments. But really, if you want to fence with people over whose ancestors were the bigger jerks, you’re on the wrong site. There are people who luuuuve to argue and other people who LOVE to moderate flame wars. I am neither. Go away.

Some other threads deteriorated into personal insults or foul language for no discernable reason. Some of these were on old posts (I have a whole bunch of hot threads going on ages-old Final Fantasy posts for some reason) and some were in the recent discussion on Steam. I don’t know what the problem is today, but the ambient level of rudeness is way above normal.

Aside from that, I had a tremendous day.

 


 

Thankful Day 2007

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 22, 2007

Filed under: Personal 23 comments

This is a repost of my Thanksgiving post from last year. I was going to write another one, but it would just be a re-wording of what I have below. No reason for that. I suppose to what I have below I might add gratitude that I wasn’t born in the middle ages. It’s also nice that my surgery went smoothly.

Yesterday I tried to come up with a reasonable “what I am thankful for” post. There are two problems with this: 1) The subject is too huge and 2) The title ends in a preposition.

Echoing back to my earlier thoughts on how awful it would be to be a king in the middle ages, trying to enumerate all the things which I have to be thankful for is a daunting task. The original pilgrims were thankful for the fact that some of them survived, and that they were not in immediate danger of starvation. They had buried a lot of people in the past year. If I found myself in their position today my first response probably wouldn't be thankfulness. My worst day at work would be a vacation for one of them.

If I were to try to list all the ways that my life is better than theirs, it would start with big stuff like warm housing and plentiful food, and end with little stuff like Galactic Civilizations 2 and the way flash memory prices have fallen this year. Along the way I'd need to cover things like antibotics and carpeting. It's just ridiculous how good our lives are.

Would I be grateful if I won the lottery*? I already did. I was born into the middle class in the west during the second half of the 20th century. Very few human beings in the history of the planet were lucky enough to end up here. I could have lived during the great depression. Or been purged by Stalin. Been a Jew in Poland when the Germans came. Gotten “converted” during The Crusades. Buried my family as they died from the Black Plague. Had a limb sawn off in the Civil War. Gotten branded a heretic in the middle ages. Lived as a farmer during feudal times. Been a native American in the nineteenth century. Lived in Nanking when the Japanese came knocking. Lived in Rome during its decline. (If we are to believe Durant, then the population of Rome went from about a million at its peak to about 40,000 in the fifth century. I'm not even sure I'd want to be among the survivors of that.) Could have been a slave. Wound up a young girl in an arranged marriage to a guy two decades older than me at 14, then died in childbirth at 19. The catlog of human misery is such a massive volume that even the summary pages are beyond comprehension, and so far I've missed nearly all of it. Caesar never had it as good as I do.

* This is not to imply that I would ever play the lottery.

How does one express the appropriate level of thankfulness for this? Should I wake up each morning and cheer, “Alright! Another day free of dysentary! Woohoo!” If one of the pilgrims would have set down their description of what life would be like in a utopia, it would probably fall short of how I'm actually living.

Life is good. I express my gratitude the only way I can. I thank God.

Have a wonderful day.

 


 

Episode 2 Fixed

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 22, 2007

Filed under: Video Games 21 comments

As a follow-up to yesterday’s ranting about Steam breaking my game: They fixed it last night. Whew. I was going to be quite angry if I had to go through my day off without access to my game. Sigh. I’ll probably never get used to the Jeckyl & Hyde face of Valve.

How the bug happened is somewhat interesting. They didn’t actually make any Episode 2 – specific changes. Instead, they patched the Source engine itself to fix problems with Team Fortress 2, which I don’t even own. I guess all these games share a single codebase of Source, and not forked variants. (It’s very annoying that they named their graphics engine “Source”. That’s like naming a car “Engine”, or “Design”. When you want to talk about the design of the Design it gets to be confusing.) What I’m not clear on is if the games all share a single version of Source on the user’s computer, or if they simply make it a practice to keep all the versions of Source identical.

This is an interesting approach, and I can see it would have many advantages from a development and support standpoint, although it also leads naturally to the problems I witnessed yesterday. As the number of Source-based games proliferates, problems like this will be harder to avoid. Making many divergent games share a single common engine leads naturally to cruft, since all new versions of the engine must be fully backwards compatible with the old games. At first this is easy, but as graphics technology changes and rendering paths change in nature the thing will naturally become more convoluted. It happens slowly over time, but eventually battling cruft can consume a very large percentage of development costs. The further back you want to go, the harder it is to have one set of code that can serve both the old and new purposes. This I know from experience.

Certainly the folks at Valve know this. Eventually the benefits of having an all-things-to-all-platforms engine will be overshadowed by the disadvantages of maintaining that system. They will probably fork the project at that point and make – I dunno – “Source Engine 2” or somesuch. I would guess that they would take this step when they begin work on Half Life 3. That would be a logical point to do it, and would let them start with a clean slate and not worry about breaking stuff in a four year old game with every change they make.

I still wish they would do more Episodes, though. I’d rather a ten hour game every eighteen months as opposed to a twenty-five hour game every four years. I could care less if the engine gets a little stale in the process. The thing still looks fantastic to me.

In the meantime, I’m going to take another try at getting Steam to always run in offline mode to keep this from happening again. I’m glad they fixed it quickly, but it would have saved me a lot of hassle if it hadn’t happened at all.

UPDATE: As Ian points out below, it looks like they forked the Source source this year. There is a directory for original Source, and one for Source 2007. That seems like a pretty good approach to me. They can create distinct “generations” of Source games that share a common engine, but not worry about accumulating too much cruft.

 


 

Steam Broke My Game

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Nov 21, 2007

Filed under: Rants 41 comments

I’m a glutton for punishment. I knew I was in an uneasy truce with Steam when I came back to play Half-Life 2 again. This week I picked up Episode Two. Yesterday they put out a patch that broke the game for me. As I walk around, my view jitters up and down as if I’m falling through the ground, then snapping back to ground level over and over again. It’s maddening and makes the game more or less unplayable.

I didn’t even know they had patched the game. I just fired up the game this morning and found the thing was broken. Steam likes to keep your games up-to-date for you, meaning it downloads and applies patches without asking or telling you. I wasted a good hour fiddling with options, re-starting, re-booting, and generally wasting my time because I had no idea the game had been patched.

You can turn auto-update off, but when I did that with other games I found that when a patch came out it wouldn’t let me run the game until I’d applied it. I tried going off-line to run my game it it gave me the oh-so-helpful error “That action could not be performed at this time.” So I relented and re-enabled auto-update. Now they broke my damn game for me.

I checked the “update history” to see what the patch did, but clicking on that brings up a blank window. (And once it crashed Steam.) Sigh. As always, problems with Steam tend to be rage-inducing nested problems.

I checked the Steam news page, and they didn’t even mention the update. I only knew there was one because I read about it in the forums. I joined the forums myself so that I could add my two cents, but even after entering a CAPTCHA (six digit multicoloered case sensitive, booo!) confirming my email, and then “activating” my account, I still have to wait for a human to review my registration and allow me to post. “Thank you for your interest in Steam. Please jump through these complimentary hoops.”

So now I’m posting my gripes here, and we can all suffer together.

Dear Valve:

  1. Never alter the software on the user’s computer without their permission.
  2. Don’t force them to update, because the update might break something.
  3. Always inform the user of what a patch contains.

Even Microsoft has this much figured out. Jerks.

How can their games be so awesome and their delivery system be such an abomination? They will agonize for days over placement of health, foes, and weapons within gamespace to create maximum user enjoyment and weed out frustrating situations in the game, but Steam itself is infuriating at every turn. Now I have a nice block of time off coming my way and my new game is busted.

To the Steam fans out there: Is there some hidden checkbox to tell Steam “Stop being such an ass****”? Please tell me where it is. I want to like these guys, I really do.