GTA IV vs. Saints Row 2: Intro

By Shamus Posted Monday Mar 23, 2009

Filed under: Game Reviews 31 comments

Saints Row 2 is a Grand Theft Auto clone in the truest sense of the word. It plays not so much like a rival franchise as a mix tape of established GTA gameplay.

The typical review attitude is to [attempt to] view each game on its own merits, to [theoretically] judge a game on its ability to provide amusement and diversion without leaning too much on other titles as a benchmark. This is, of course, impossible. And it’s also boring. So let’s take two games and pit them directly against each other in a competitive dual review / cockfight.

A lot of what I say will overlap with points Yahtzee made in his Saints Row 2 review. Yes, I know. You don’t need to tell me how I’m just “ripping him off” or whatever it is you accuse reviewers of when two of them come to the same irritating opinion.

In the rest of the posts in this series I’ll examine the guts of each game and analyze how their mechanics lead to fun or frustration. But first, let me go through the usual laundry list of stupid features of marginal importance:

Graphics

Saints Row 2 has nice graphics, inasmuch as I care about that sort of thing. It’s a few steps ahead of GTA: San Andreas, with visuals dragged into the current-gen arena with little fuss.

By contrast, GTA IV seems to have graphics magically imported from the PS4 or Xbox 720. The attention to detail is astounding. Rockstar has discovered what George Lucas realized thirty years ago: A little bit of entropy is better than a million dollars woth of special effects at making something look believable. The world of GTA IV is dirty, scuffed, dented, scratched, cluttered, and wrinkled.

Of course, if the game does its job you’ll stop noticing the graphics once you’re drawn into the world, but the graphics are an admirable showcase of technology and coding prowess.

Physics

In GTA IV it is possible to drive a car around the city without smashing it to pieces. It’s still not going to handle like a real-world car, but this is as close as you can hope to get without a steering wheel and peripheral vision. The explosions have been dialed back from “action movie” fireballs to “vaguely resembling reality” explosions. Often cars will crash and flip over, and then not explode. Amazing. I wonder how they did that.

Saints Row 2 continues in the GTA tradition of adopting the physics of Road Runner cartoons. It’s possible to punch a car until it explodes. Cars start, stop, and turn on a dime, but still end up being unwieldy land rockets like in the GTA titles of yore.

Ports

The PC adaptations of both games are (reportedly) awful, buggy, stuttering, sluggish beasts. I can’t say which is worse, but finding out would not make for a worthwhile study. Both games represent an attempt to take revenge on the PC pirates who take games without paying money by taking the money of the non-pirates without giving them a game. Perhaps some players have enjoyed these games with their Crysis-certified machines, but I have not heard from those people.

 


 

Wall-E / Watchmen Mashup Trailer

By Shamus Posted Monday Mar 23, 2009

Filed under: Movies 22 comments

Dear internet:

Please provide something random and amusing.


Link (YouTube)

Thank you. That will do.

 


 

For the fans

By Shamus Posted Sunday Mar 22, 2009

Filed under: Personal 63 comments

A funny thing happened on my way to the internet this morning. And by “funny” I mean, “cruel turn which has inflicted frustration, financial loss, and the inability to continue playing Left 4 Dead”.

A fan in my computer has been struggling lately. I could hear it in there, spinning up and down at regular intervals, wailing like an air raid siren. After making sure the Luftwaffe wasn’t overhead, I went back to playing Left 4 Dead with the nagging realization that the fan noise was something that Should Be Looked Into. But not right now. I mean, soon. Eventually.

Sometimes the wailing would stop, which meant that either the fan had resumed normal operation, or it had stopped moving entirely. It is amazing how quickly I can turn into an optimist when pessimism is a hassle.

A failing fan means something is most likely going to overheat and die. It might be the power supply (whatever) the graphics card (ouch) or the CPU (noooooooooooooo!).

This morning I discovered that one should never set aside one’s pessimism. My PC is now a box of dead electronics. Swapping in a good power supply doesn’t fix it, or even provoke a murmur. It’s deceased. It has passed on. It is an ex-computer.

So a new PC is now on order. (I’m currently using a ten year old machine, which has been imbued with Ubuntu. I can’t believe how well it works, given its age. ) This is all a shame. The dead PC is the first computer I’ve ever owned that still felt perfectly usable after a couple of years. I had no particular need to upgrade until the thing went and bricked itself.

It took a while to find a machine that had the right features (memoryhertz and gigadrives and whatnots) without any of the wrong ones. (Windows Vista.) The machine I found is a “Vista machine with an XP configuration”. Which apparently means it comes with XP pre-installed, along with a complementary Vista-brand coaster.

Which is nice.

 


 

Francis Hates Left 4 Dead

By Shamus Posted Saturday Mar 21, 2009

Filed under: Movies 27 comments


Link (YouTube)

Francis is one of the 4 selectable characters in the game. He’s a 6’5 (very tall, for you metric thinkers) biker with tattoos and a vest. His thing is that he goes around saying how much he hates the various environs you’re obliged to explore in the game. Francis hates everything. While in the single-player game, I got in the habit of always playing as Francis because he blended in with the horde, color-wise. Bill, Louis, and Zoe are much brighter and more colorful, and so I’m less likely to shoot them.

Although this strategy works against me online. Now I’m playing as mister-oh-look-a-zombie-oops-no-it’s-Francis-again.

I love Francis. And vests.

 


 

Left 4 Dead – Group Play

By Shamus Posted Friday Mar 20, 2009

Filed under: Video Games 51 comments

Thanks to those who have joined the Twenty Sided Steam group. I hope everyone has found a few good playmates. Thanks in particular to Randy Johnson, Mad Flavius, and the other players who have been nice enough to join me in Left 4 Dead despite my tendency to scarf up all the pipe bombs, cower in the center of the group, and spray teammates with panic fire. (I’ve been playing with the AI teammates for a week, and have come to think of them as expendable resources. This habit is difficult to break, even after repeated gentle reminders from my teammates that my bullets are of no benefit to them.)

The transformation was abrupt. On Monday I was having a fine time with the single-player game. On Tuesday and Wednesday I played online. By Thursday I was ruined for single-player and wanted nothing more to do with it.

Although, I really wish the game allowed you to practice playing as undead in single-player before going on-line. I was useless in my first few rounds of versus because I was completely inept. How far is my attach range? How far can I jump? How much damage can I take? There’s a recharge on this power? It really is unfair to other players to have to drag newbies through those first few painful steps. You can’t practice strategy against the oblivious AI, but you should be able to develop a basic competency with the controls before you’re thrust into the game with people.

I haven’t had this much fun online since my UT99 days. It really is all about who you play with.

 


 

Experienced Points: The Price of Fun

By Shamus Posted Friday Mar 20, 2009

Filed under: Column 36 comments

Not content with telling developers how to do their jobs, I’m now second-guessing the publishers. Go read the whole thing to see what I’m talking about.

After I wrote the article I realized a couple of points that were likely to attract objections:

1) Digital downloads have actually been following the model I suggest in the article for a while now. Games of yesteryear – even just one or two years old – can be found dirt cheap. It’s retail prices that resist falling, and I think most of the dysfunction is found there. That’s also where most of the sales are.

2) I know the retail market is more complex than I make it out to be, particularly with places like EB Games where it’s in their best interests to keep prices on new games as high as possible. EB Games might simply keep the price high, even if (say) Activision lowered the MSRP. (It is a suggested retail price, after all.) However, I think outfits like Wal-Mart and Target – places where they don’t trade games – would likely lower the prices. This might possibly result in a rewarding scenario where gamers buy new at Target and unload used at EB Games, which could have all sorts of hilariously bad effects on EB Games.

3) I know this is mostly guesswork outside of my assigned area of game design. If I really botched my analysis, I’m sure people will… let me know. At any rate, I’d at least like to see them experiment with prices a bit, instead of trying to come up with tricks to impede second-hand sales. Gamers are not the villains in the second-hand games market, but predictably they are the first target of the publishers.

4) That last line was a good one. I should have put it in the article.

 


 

Stolen Pixels #74: The Business Plan

By Shamus Posted Friday Mar 20, 2009

Filed under: Column 14 comments

Here is my final comic on Saints Row.

This game, being a roaring cauldron of mayhem and nonsense, left me little room for parody. This is a shame, since the game includes a wonderful system that lets you re-watch any cutscene or re-play any mission, any time you like. This is in contrast to games like Mass Effect, where I’d make new saves regularly as I progressed through the thing, but still found myself an hour away from the required plot point whenever I thought of a joke. I wish I could have put the Saints Row replay feature to more use, but making fun of a game that refuses to take itself seriously is uphill work. I’ve done what I can with the raw materials at hand. Hopefully the droplets of humor I was able to wring from this stone were rewarding enough to justify the time spent clicking on the link.

Because if not, I will be obliged to shoot you in the face and blow up a few city blocks.

See? It’s hard to know where to go for a joke after a setup like that.