Borderlands: Multiplayer Madness

By Shamus Posted Monday Nov 2, 2009

Filed under: Game Reviews 79 comments

I’m really enjoying Borderlands. It’s on my short list of top games this year. So it’s a shame I have to start off this series on such a negative note. I’ve noticed a trend of of people buying games when I say they’re great, and I wouldn’t want to send you off to the store without issuing this most important warning: The multiplayer support in the PC version of Badlands is contemptible.

There is really no need for things to have turned out this way. Usable networking code is so common and so well-developed that there is no excuse for having a multiplayer game without a seamless multiplayer system. This is not some trendy new tech. Unlike graphics, this isn’t some churning sea of conflicting systems and anarchic innovation. Unlike sound, this isn’t some gadget-driven five-bladed-razor race for more gimmicks. This is sending packets over the internet and having them get there. You can probably go over to Sourceforge and crib whatever notes and lessons you might need from the open-source treasure vault if you find yourself fuzzy on the details. At any rate, under no circumstances should any gamer ever have to set up port forwarding on their router in these enlightened times, for all the same reasons that people should not have to churn their own milk, which they squeezed from the udder of a cow that same morning. We’re past this stuff now. We’ve got this kind of low-level functionality covered. This should all be completely turnkey at this point.

Borderlands uses Gamespy, a service which astounds me each year it continues to not go out of business on account of being cumbersome, unreliable, and utterly superfluous to the needs of the day. Unlike the venerable Diablo II, there is no central server out there to mediate games between plays. If you want to game with friends, then one of you must be the host. If the host is on a LAN (if they’re in a house with multiple computers sharing a common net connection) then that host will have to set up port forwarding. Then that player can host the game. If they disconnect or crash, then you are dumped out of the game without saving, despite the fact that there is no reason no to save the game when that happens. (And I’ve gotten reports that disconnecting like this can possibly erase your entire save, thus obliterating your character. Hasn’t happened to me, but now I live in fear of it.)

The game supports voice chat, without offering any of the options needed to make that work properly. Need to calibrate your mic? Test it? Having trouble hearing other people? Is the game volume too loud compared to the other people in the game? Shrug. Nothing you can do about it. There isn’t even a push-to-talk key. Or a push-to-NOT-talk key. Once you connect, your microphone is live and open during the duration of the play session and there is nothing you can do to get any privacy short of unplugging the mic or logging off. The game doesn’t even tell you this or give any on-screen indication that you’re transmitting, so it’s possible for this to go wrong in all sorts of different ways. You can disable the mic, but only if you can track down the obscure options files and and change them by hand in a text editor.

You can’t kick someone once they enter the game. If someone triggers a level change, then everyone else is pulled through along with them, willing or no. That is, unless someone has a window open. (Visiting the vendor, viewing their character stats, sorting their inventory, etc.) In which case nobody can change levels at all. A few nights ago a friend went to make a sandwich but forgot and left a window open, and everyone else was effectively trapped until Sandwich Guy came back. We could either remain trapped until he came back, or the host could end the game and Sandwich Guy would lose his unsaved progress.

The lobby screen has no chat functionality. If the host is setting up a new game, you need to either have the always-on mic enabled, or you have no way to discuss what sort of game you want to play or what characters you want to use.

Of course, you shouldn’t ever play with random anonymous net trash, but we gave it a try on our first night with the game. A friend started a server and we played with some strangers. The first person to join was clueless. (nothing wrong with that at the start, we’re all newbies at some point) But he was also impervious to communication. He didn’t react when we spoke. He didn’t react when we sent chat text. (The chat appears off to the side and is very easy to miss.) He fumbled around the environment so ineptly we couldn’t tell if he was just confused or if he was griefing us intentionally. My friend closed down the game and restarted and we tried again. The second guy to join was ten levels above us and annihilated everything without us having the opportunity to contribute meaningfully to the game. We asked him if he had any lower level characters and he didn’t answer. We asked him to leave and he didn’t answer. Once again we had to close the game and start over.

In the end, we set up a private game. With even the most basic / crude / obvious player-management tools we would have been able to deal with this sort of thing.

So the Borderlands forces you to host your own games, then denies you the requisite tools to act as a proper host. This would all be forgivable in a game where multiplayer was an afterthought. But this is a game built around the idea of team play, and having such crude and perfunctory multiplayer functionality is abominable. What’s even more mystifying is that Borderlands was built on the Unreal Engine, which has a lot of the client / server architecture built in.

We have gotten multiplayer to work, and we have managed to have some fun sessions of Borderlands, but it was more trouble than it needed to be and continues to frustrate us with its various shortcomings. I’ll review the rest of the game later, but you should keep all of this in mind when contemplating getting the game for the PC.

EDIT: Ah! You CAN kick someone, as a helpful reader details in this comment.

 


 

A Parent’s Guide to Halloween(Repost)

By Shamus Posted Friday Oct 30, 2009

Filed under: Random 19 comments

Someone noticed I didn’t post this week. Actually, I guess a couple of people did. Yeah. I had a big writing project going this weekend, which prevented me from getting my weekend writing done. Then Borderlands came out, which prevented me from catching up.

It’s all sorted now. In the meantime, I reheated some leftovers for you:

  1. Most towns have trick-or-treating end before nightfall, but don’t let that stop you from decking your kid out in reflective tape and glowsticks. Sure, it will ruin their Batman costume and make them look like a Christmas tree with a cape, but if you don’t then the other parents will glare at you and make you feel so guilty.
  2. Explain to your kids: Never accept candy from strangers, unless it’s Halloween – when you should wander around the neighborhood begging for it.
  3. Make sure your child has a nice, large sack or pillowcase for trick-or-treat, and avoid using hard containers like buckets. This makes it less obvious when you begin “skimming” their haul when they aren’t looking.
  4. Don’t feel bad about dipping into your child’s candy when they aren’t around. You helped make the costume, after all. And even if you didn’t: all that candy isn’t good for them anyway.
  5. You will see all levels of costumes. You’ll see one kid dressed as a shogun in authentic period garb, and another kid dressed as a ghost using a plaid sheet with a urine stain. For some reason, you’re supposed to give candy and compliments to both of them. I don’t know why either.
  6. Just to mess with the trick or treaters who come to your door: Try dressing as Santa and giving out painted eggs.
  7. It doesn’t matter if your kid is dressed up as Frankenstein, a zombie, or Idi Amin, the moment you hand them a flashlight they are going to start waving it around in everyone’s eyes and making lightsaber noises. Little brats.
  8. To get revenge, make them wear their coats. Oh yeah. That will make their costume look real good.

Enjoy your Halloween. Save me a Zagnut.

 


 

Stolen Pixels #138: On the Borderbus

By Shamus Posted Friday Oct 30, 2009

Filed under: Column 25 comments

Here is a comic about Borderlands, which I have played a bit this week. (Short review: If you have both Xbox and PC, and you want to do multiplayer, then you should probably get the Xbox version. Gamespy is smothered in weaksauce and seasoned with fail.)

I will say I probably won’t be doing many of these, simply because of how difficult it is to get usable screenshots. It’s a first-person game which always limits my options a good deal. It’s a shame, since I could probably get a few comics out of this game otherwise.

 


 

Stolen Pixels #137: Breen Interviews Commander Shepard

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 27, 2009

Filed under: Column 20 comments

Last time around people were asking if Breen was going to interview the male or female version of Commander Shepard. Now you can find out. Also, Breen now has a sidekick. I should have thought of that ages ago.

 


 

A Star is Born:
Let’s Play Champions Online Pt. 6

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 27, 2009

Filed under: Shamus Plays 50 comments

If you remember from last time, I’m here to rescue survivors from this crash.
If you remember from last time, I’m here to rescue survivors from this crash.

My job is to free people from debris. If you can survive a plane crash, end up trapped by massive bits of former airplane, and sit in the snow for hours on end while being menaced by ice demons, then you are obviously a superhero. I shouldn’t be rescuing them, I should be helping them design costumes for themselves. (My advice: You can’t go wrong with some sort of star-based iconography.)

What’s interesting about this quest is that the goal isn’t what the quest log says it is. The quest log says to free people from the airplane debris. But if I lift up a chunk of plane and the person trapped underneath runs off, I don’t actually get credit for freeing them until I destroy the debris I’m holding. So the real goal of the quest is to destroy debris. You can, in fact, hurl objects at a bit of passenger-trapping debris until it’s destroyed and then dash off, leaving the passenger alone and injured in the frozen wastes and surrounded by ice demons. Doesn’t matter. As long as they aren’t pinned, my job is done.

Ah! There is my goal! A piece of debris to destroy. I only get credit for ones on top of survivors, though.
Ah! There is my goal! A piece of debris to destroy. I only get credit for ones on top of survivors, though.

As I fly around, bashing debris and pummeling ice demons, I occasionally pass civilians who are injured and helpless in the snow. Guys like this one:

staronchest_gurney.jpg

He makes eye contact. Oh geeze.

Look, I’m sorry buddy. I just can’t help you. Well, I mean… I could. There’s a gurney right over there. You’d be way better off if you were on that thing. And some medical gear. You’d have a much better chance if I could hand you that. And a box of supplies. Man, there could even be a blanket in there. Heck, it would be effortless for me to shuttle you back to base. I could do that with one hand, actually. But Cryptic entertainment didn’t put any buttons on the interface for doing any of those things. If you’re not trapped under debris or attacked by ice demons, I can’t help you.

What do I suggest? I don’t know. Maybe yell a bit. The demons are bound to notice you sooner or later.

Would it be okay if I covered you with snow? No offense, but watching you die is really making me feel like less of a superhero.

If it helps at all, I guess you should know that THIS IS NO ORDINARY STORM!

Really Cryptic… Are you familiar with the concept behind superheroes? Why would you plonk down people and deny us the ability to help them, when their need is so dire and so easily fulfilled? You wouldn’t even need superpowers to save this guy’s life. You’d need hands.

I fulfill my debris-smashing quota, as well as my demon-suckerpunching quota. Now back to base.

The fact that you’re rooted in place and have an icon over your head tells me you’re the local NPC vending machine. I mean shopkeeper. Or whatever. Look, I’m having just as much trouble mapping MMO conventions to comic book archetypes as you are.
The fact that you’re rooted in place and have an icon over your head tells me you’re the local NPC vending machine. I mean shopkeeper. Or whatever. Look, I’m having just as much trouble mapping MMO conventions to comic book archetypes as you are.

Back at base, I meet someone who wants me to craft…

Ah, the crafting system. Objects in the game fall into one of three categories: Armaments, Science Stuff, and Mystical doodads. The three crafting branches. Each branch can bestow bonuses to various stats, although you’ll probably need to consult the wiki if you want to have any idea which branch is right for your character build.

As you travel the world you’ll need to collect caches of crafting materials. (After defeating the low-XP mooks guarding them.) You’ll also need to save all the items related to your field of crafting, and disassemble them for components and skill-ups at a crafting table. (Although you’ll need to make trips to the bank to store the stuff when you hit a skill cap. Sometimes you’ll need to hoard objects and binge on crafting once you’ve leveled up enough to begin raising your crafting skill again.) You’ll need to drop some money on blueprints and conversion recipes so you can turn lesser components into greater ones.

If you manage to do all this extra fighting, sacrifice the money you’d make selling objects outright, pay for blueprints, give over half your inventory to crafting materials, make numerous trips to the crafting tables and the bank, and if you manage to pick the right branch of specialization, then you will, in rare cases, be able to craft items that are ever so slightly better than the common drops and quest rewards you’d be stuck with if you weren’t crafting. I leveled a character to 30, and in all her career she used exactly one crafted item, sometime in her early / mid 20’s. It gave her about 5 extra points of dexterity compared to the alternatives. This seemed like a pretty good deal until I checked the character info sheet and saw those 5 points made her less than 2% more likely to score a critical and give her less than 1% chance bonus to dodge.

So… was it worth those hours spent fussing with the crafting system in order to be ~1% more effective in combat for a couple of levels?

No. No it was not.

To be fair, the crafting system also gives you access to bags to expand your storage space. On the other hand, you wouldn’t need nearly as much space if you weren’t crafting. You can also craft healing items, although unless you’re really pushing against foes way above your level or something has gone wrong with your character build, you shouldn’t need those.

As with Hellgate: London, the entire crafting system is a lot of busywork for no meaningful benefit.

…a cold shield to protect me from the extreme cold I’ll be facing ahead during a particular boss fight.

Fine. Done.

I also have to save a few more people from a different plane crash on the other side of the base. These people have been frozen in blocks of ice, and I must use some doohickey to thaw them out, after which they jog away. Occasionally in the direction of safety.

Han? Is that you?
Han? Is that you?

Again, I can’t help but admire the tremendous badassery of the average civilian. David Blaine attempted a trick where he was frozen in a block of ice and it kicked his ass. And note that he was doing the easy version of the trick where you don’t have to survive a plane crash first.

Now that we’re done saving civilians, it’s time we got down to putting a stop to the Snowpocalypse. This means pummeling some more ice demons…

Here I am, fighting the forces of evil. The name over his head indicates that this is an “Ice Demon” and that he’s affiliated with the “Ice Demon” faction.  In a minute he will leave the Ice Demon faction and join the proud fraternity of “stuff which used to have a face until it came into contact with my fist”.
Here I am, fighting the forces of evil. The name over his head indicates that this is an “Ice Demon” and that he’s affiliated with the “Ice Demon” faction. In a minute he will leave the Ice Demon faction and join the proud fraternity of “stuff which used to have a face until it came into contact with my fist”.

….so that we can gather the little voodoo knicknacks they carry and summon their boss…

Here is a little move I like to call, “Pow! And then I take all your stuff.”
Here is a little move I like to call, “Pow! And then I take all your stuff.”

…and give him a beat down so I can take his inter-dimensional scroll, and take that back to…

For the last time, I ALREADY KNOW that THIS IS NO ORDINARY STORM.
For the last time, I ALREADY KNOW that THIS IS NO ORDINARY STORM.

…Ravenspeaker. Great. I would feel better if the person leading us against the axis of snow owned pants, but he seems to know what he’s talking about. Apparently the scroll I acquired will let someone enter the portal and face the demon-god kigga-something-or-other. Ravenspeaker is using his hoodoo powers to hold the storm at bay, so he can’t go through. So the job falls to me.

I jump through the portal. I have to activate that item I crafted to keep from freezing my tuckus off.

It seems I have entered a world of weird…

Floating asteroid-esque things. That’s… odd.
Floating asteroid-esque things. That’s… odd.

Unusual.
Unusual.

Looks like we’re not in Canada anymore, Dorothy.
Looks like we’re not in Canada anymore, Dorothy.

I have to fight some zombies. I’ve been occasionally encountering zombies since I arrived in Canada.

Note to game designers: Zombies are mindless undead.  I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of cannibals.
Note to game designers: Zombies are mindless undead. I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of cannibals.

These are no doubt most talkative undead in history. Their banter is infantile and un-funny, but I guess it’s hard to come up with witty material when your brains have rotted out.

Which I guess is a big problem at Cryptic Entertainment.

Zing!

On the upside, not one of them tells me how bad or out-of-the-ordinary the weather is.

Anyway, there’s a dude in a suit trying to awaken the demon-god Kigawhatsit and make it TOTALLY SNOW, LIKE SUPER-MUCH all over our base in the frozen wastes of Canada.

Just to be clear: By “cataclysm” you mean “inclement weather”, right?
Just to be clear: By “cataclysm” you mean “inclement weather”, right?

This guy has pants! How come our leader doesn’t have pants?

He’s doing some sort of ceremony to awaken Kigawhozit, who looks like a fifty foot astral projection.

I figure if I hit Mr. Pants enough he’ll probably stop. I do. He does. Yay good guys!

Your dark suit would be more menacing if you weren’t using pink energy blades.  And if your face didn’t have a crater in the shape of MY FIST!
Your dark suit would be more menacing if you weren’t using pink energy blades. And if your face didn’t have a crater in the shape of MY FIST!

This is the first real boss fight in the game. Tutorial boss Black Talon is a pushover, but this guy can give you a beating if you’re a little low in level or your character build is flawed. He’s actually using the powers I chose for SoC back in part 1, back before I did the retcon and turned him into a brawler.

I’m glad I made that change. You can re-color them so that they’re no longer pink (which doesn’t explain why this guy hasn’t done so) but after seeing these powers in action, I’m thinking they’re a little too slick and a little too flashy for ol’ Star on Chest.

Boss defeated, I return to the land of Canada. Looks like the storm has ended…

staronchest_after_storm.jpg

THIS IS NO ORDINARY PARTLY CLOUDY DAY!

Next time: Canada, the undiscovered country!

 


 

Heroes of Champions Online IV

By Shamus Posted Monday Oct 26, 2009

Filed under: Pictures 21 comments

co_agatha.jpg

Yay Girl Genius! Bonus points for the Myth Inc nod in her Supergroup affiliation. If her title could somehow refer to some Sci-Fi she’d be a nerd trifecta!

This person stuck pretty close to the character concept, using only gadget-based powers. That’s pretty admirable in this game, considering how wildly out of balance the powers are.

co_mayor.jpg

You can’t be the mayor. You have no pants.

co_incognito.jpg

I like how this guy looks like a Dr. Kleiner + Herb Tarlec robot. The name makes for a pretty good joke. “Yeah. We’ll put a jacket and glasses on him. Nobody will notice he’s a robot.”

co_ravenspeaker.jpg

Man, the stupid and ugly character concepts some people come up with…

Oh wait. He’s one of the central characters of the setting.

Nevermind then.

 


 

Experienced Points: Ding! Now You Suck Less

By Shamus Posted Sunday Oct 25, 2009

Filed under: Column 45 comments

Here is a bit about leveling and about how too many games screw it up.

I usually cite examples in my articles. When I’m talking about a bad trend, I’ll bring up a game following this trend. Inevitably this derails the conversation when some idiot fanboy experiences a short-circuit in his reasoning center:

Me: Too many games begin with the “amnesiac” premise. STALKER was a recent example.

Fanboy: But! I LOVED STALKER! So therefore amnesiac plots are always awesome and you are wrong and biased!

And then the discussion thread becomes a referendum on the game I cited instead of about the actual subject of the article. Also, people will dogpile on me for NOT referencing certain games:

Fanboy: How can you bring up amnesiac plots and leave out Muradin Bronzebeard from the WoW expansion?

Me: You know, there are games in the world I have not played…

Fanboy: Unprofessional!

I tried to sidestep this trend this time around by not citing any games. (Although Oblivion slipped in there.) This didn’t really help as much as I’d hoped. And one poster predictably jumped in and called me “unprofessional” for not citing specific games.

Hm.