Why Don’t You Just Play on a Console?

By Shamus Posted Sunday Mar 20, 2011

Filed under: Rants 207 comments

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I have a wireless 360 controller for the PC. It’s a handy little thing, great for routing around horrible ports by letting me use the intended control scheme. The downside is that because PC ports are often performed by sadistic idiots, the controller doesn’t always work. We know this. Until we can find these people and have them killed for sport, we are at their mercy. That is not what this rant is about.

It’s an annoying problem: A game designed for the Xbox 360 (or one of the other leading brands) which was built around that controller. Yet the PC port of the game is baffled by the same controller. It can’t find it, or the buttons don’t all work, or some actions are keyboard-only, or a joystick axis is reversed. Inevitably, beleaguered PC gamers will turn to Google for help. Google will scour the length and breadth of the internet, finding a small island of relevant discussion in that terrifyingly vast ocean of data. It will come up with four of five pages where your exact problem is discussed. You will go to these pages, and you will bear witness to some of the most obstinate imbeciles that the human race has yet sired. The question will be posed:

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Why Don’t You Just Play on a Console?”

 


 

Experienced Points: A Male on Females on Female Characters

By Shamus Posted Friday Mar 18, 2011

Filed under: Column 314 comments

This week’s column is a response to the “Females on Female Characters” panel we attended at PAX East. (The video of that panel is now available. Fun fact: That’s the back of my head, right in the middle, wearing the green shirt. To my left is Greg Tito.)

We’ve had a few new female leads introduced in the past couple of years, and they’ve unfortunately failed. (For reasons outside of their gender.) Faith from Mirror’s Edge was interesting and visually distinct, but her story was an afterthought and her gameplay didn’t resonate with most gamers. Rubi Malone from Wet was another hopeful, but both her and her game were so unlikeable that Susan Arendt (the host of the panel and obviously someone hankering for a kick-ass female protagonist) had to pan the game. Violette Summer from Velvet Assassin was a worthwhile try. Like a lot of male protagonists, she was bland and empty, which is usually a safe way to keep the protagonist out of the way and let the player focus on the gameplay. Unfortunately the gameplay sucked and I don’t think we’ll be seeing Violette again.

Making matters worse is that Metroid: Other M took the established and well-liked Samus Aran and re-imagined her into a moody dunce who couldn’t use her powers without getting permission from a man, which sounds like hyperbole but isn’t. That’s apparently a real thing in the game.

Anyway, if publishers won’t give us different characters for the sake of diversity, they should at least do it for the sake of variety.

 


 

Personal Computing Devices

By Shamus Posted Thursday Mar 17, 2011

Filed under: Nerd Culture 175 comments

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Here is a joke I made a while ago:

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In truth, this almost never applies to me. I’m old-school when it comes to computing. I sit at a computer desk, with a computer chair, looking at a large monitor with one hand on a full-sized keyboard and the other on a full-sized mouse. The computer itself is tied into a couple of consoles, a router, a hierarchy of power strips, a printer, some speakers, a headset, and a PC version of the XBox controller. The only thing “mobile” about this computer is that I might be able to move it to the other side of the room in an afternoon.

In related news (it doesn’t seem related yet, but I’m getting there) MovieBob had a bit on the death of PC Gaming this week:

No, I don’t want to open that can of worms and argue about whether or not the PC is dying. I think we’ve danced that jig a few times already. If you want to respond to MovieBob, then by all means, join that conversation.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Personal Computing Devices”

 


 

PAX East 2011: Cosplay

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Mar 15, 2011

Filed under: Nerd Culture 64 comments

I spent the better part of an hour going through our PAX East pictures. I rounded up the cosplay pictures, grouped them, gave them titles, tagged them, and put a funny caption on each. Then I created a slideshow and discovered that Flickr doesn’t display any of that. It just shows pictures. At a fixed rate, moving from one image to the next whether the viewer is done or not.

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PAX East 2011: Sunday

By Shamus Posted Monday Mar 14, 2011

Filed under: Nerd Culture 82 comments

The final day of PAX East. The strange day where you can’t wait to get home but you don’t want it to end. Also the day right after the clocks jumped forward as part of the grand conspiracy to annoy the everloving crap out of everyone on the planet.

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Continue reading ⟩⟩ “PAX East 2011: Sunday”

 


 

PAX East 2011: Saturday

By Shamus Posted Sunday Mar 13, 2011

Filed under: Nerd Culture 108 comments

We began the day late. Not wanting to spend three hours waiting in line like we did on Friday, we showed up around 1pm for a panel on-

Hang on.

I just realized I forgot to mention one of the panels we saw on Friday. “Game Design Is Mind Control”. Hosted by Jared Sorensen [Game designer, Memento Mori Theatricks], Luke Crane [Game designer, Burning Wheel] it proved that the best and the brightest in this industry are people half my age. So, thanks for that, guys.

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It was a presentation on how the rules and limits on behaviors (the rules of a game) lead you to pursue your goal (winning) in less-than-optimal ways. (For example, you might try to buy up Boardwalk and Park Place and drive them broke, instead of just punching them in the face and taking all their money.) These limits are what turn the activity into a game. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “PAX East 2011: Saturday”

 


 

Pax East 2011: Friday

By Shamus Posted Sunday Mar 13, 2011

Filed under: Nerd Culture 62 comments

The first day of of PAX East began when we left the hotel in the wee hours of the morning and I spoke the following words to my wife:

“No, I won’t need the heavy coat. I don’t want to lug it around all day.”

About an hour later we were standing in front of the convention center when I said:

“I really think I might be in some kind of danger. I don’t remember ever being this cold. How do you know if you’re freezing to death?”

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Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Pax East 2011: Friday”