Grand Theft Auto Trilogy: Derision Edition

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Nov 16, 2021

Filed under: Rants 83 comments

On the podcast yesterday, we talked about the controversy with the GTA Definitive Edition. For the record, I have not personally experienced the games for myself, so my complaints are based on reports from other people.

This puts me in a really annoying position as a critic. On one hand, I’ll get Rockstar apologistsA dying breed, no doubt. But they do exist. insisting that the controversy is all blown out of proportion and that I shouldn’t be talking about it if I haven’t experienced it first hand.

But if I had bought the game, then I’d have a different group of people yelling at me: “What did you expect? If you were dumb enough to believe Rockstar’s lies and give them your money then you got what you deserved. If you’re dumb enough to fall for this, then I can’t trust you as a critic.”

So you can either be too uninformed to write useful criticism, or you’re unqualified to be a critic. In choosing between these two equally obnoxious fates, I took the one that didn’t cost me $60.

However, the situation is even worse than I reported yesterday.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Grand Theft Auto Trilogy: Derision Edition”

 


 

Diecast #362: Definitive Podcast

By Shamus Posted Monday Nov 15, 2021

Filed under: Diecast 71 comments

I start the show off with some negative energy aimed at Rockstar games. But then we settle in and have a good time.



Hosts: Paul, Shamus. Episode edited by Issac.
Diecast362

Link (YouTube)

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #362: Definitive Podcast”

 


 

Prey 2017 Part 18: The Horror

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 11, 2021

Filed under: Retrospectives 88 comments

Alex Yu finally comes out of hiding and we see him for the first time since the start of the game. He still owes us the arming key he promised, but he wants to speechify a bit before he turns it over. 

He sums up what we know so far. These two siblings ran Talos-1, but it was Morgan who pushed for taking more chances and dreaming bigger. Alex is somewhat hurt that, after talking him into this, you’re turning on him and threatening to blow up the station. You were always the one pushing for more risk, and now you’re treating him like the bad guy for following your lead.

Okay Alex. I've only been waiting for THE ENTIRE GAME to get this thing. But sure, take your time.
Okay Alex. I've only been waiting for THE ENTIRE GAME to get this thing. But sure, take your time.

He also expresses disdain for the TranStar board of directors and calls them “Leeches”. Alex – whatever his many faults might be – is not doing this for personal glory or financial gain. He believes that what he’s been doing up here is right. Or at least, it’s worth the short-term moral compromises the two of you have been making.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Prey 2017 Part 18: The Horror”

 


 

It’s That Time of Year Again

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Nov 9, 2021

Filed under: Rants 115 comments

I’ve been thinking about fossil fuels and fuel efficiency lately. We’ve been trying for years to make more fuel efficient vehicles and by now we’ve gotten all of the low-hanging fruit. From this point, most gains will require high-tech systems that will make vehicles more expensive to produce and maintain.

So I started thinking that what we really need is a radical innovation to shake things up. Right now the average vehicle gets about 25 miles per gallon of fuel. So I came up with a larger one-gallon gas can that holds about twice as much fuel as a standard gallon gas can. Using one of these new gallons will get you twice as far, thus boosting the average fuel efficiency up to 50 miles per gallon!

I admit that we’ll need to change all of our pumps and tools to accurately support this new Shamus-gallon. And this change will effectively halve the number of gallons you can store in your tank. But it will double our fuel efficiency. That’s worth it.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “It’s That Time of Year Again”

 


 

Diecast #361: Make New Stuff

By Shamus Posted Monday Nov 8, 2021

Filed under: Diecast 97 comments

I’m really sorry, but I failed to filibuster Paul this week. I unforgivably allowed him several minutes of talking where he was able to say smart and interesting things. See the end of this post for the breakdown.



Hosts: Paul, Shamus. Episode edited by Issac.
Diecast361

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Diecast #361: Make New Stuff”

 


 

Prey 2017 Part 17: Dealing With Dahl

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 4, 2021

Filed under: Retrospectives 57 comments

Like I said last time, Walther Dahl showed up for some mustache-twirling villainy just as the main story was getting good. So then the plot of the game slams on the brakes and we spend the next hour or so fighting the same boring enemy robot over and over.

There are a couple of different ways that Morgan can deal with Walther Dahl. She can give him a good old-fashioned murdering, or she can knock him out. And knocking him out isn’t just for bleeding-heart hippies doing “no kill” novelty runs like in some games. Here, sparing Dahl’s life serves an immediate practical benefit: It gives us a way off the station.

Here is one of the escape pod bays. One of the pods has a mimic in it, another is stuck in the launch tube, and none of them actually work.
Here is one of the escape pod bays. One of the pods has a mimic in it, another is stuck in the launch tube, and none of them actually work.

Technically, we shouldn’t need additional transportation off the station. On Talos-1 there are three escape pod bays. Each bay holds six pods, and each pod holds 8 people. So what we have here is a Titanic-type situation where we only have a lifeboat capacity of 144 for our 260 personnel. If we want to be charitable,I don’t want to be charitable. we could assume that the original crew size was supposed to be less than 144, but the station has grown in the last few years and nobody’s gotten around to adding more escape pod bays. 

Either that or everyone on the station is bad at math.

It doesn’t matter, since none of the pods work anyway. I found an audiolog where Alex Yu specifically directed a member of the maintenance staff to not repair or maintain the escape pods. But I never found a rationale behind the order, and the wiki doesn’t seem to have anything to say about it either.

The unfavorable explanation is that Alex is a much more cartoonish villain than I’ve been giving him credit for. He discontinued the maintenance because he wanted to save money, or because he thought nothing could possibly go wrong. If this is the reason, then Alex is actually kinda dumb.

The more favorable explanation is that Alex realized that the escape pods represented a huge threat to Earth. In the event of an emergency, the Typhon would most likely break containment. If they did, then having 18 different escape pods leave the station would represent 18 different ways for the Typhon to reach Earth. The odds are that at least one pod would end up with a mimic inside, and from there the Typhon can jump to Earth and it’s game over for humanity. So perhaps Alex effectively sabotaged the pods in order to protect the Earth. 

It should be noted that Alex has his own private pod at the top of the Arboretum, and that one works just fine. Make of that what you will. 

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Prey 2017 Part 17: Dealing With Dahl”

 


 

About The Footnotes…

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Nov 2, 2021

Filed under: Random 55 comments

I recently got an email asking about the footnotes I use on this site. These sorts of questions pop up pretty often. People ask things like: Is there a plugin I can use? Did you come up with the idea yourself? How do you create them? The answers to which are No, No, and “It’s complicated”.

As many have suspected, I stole the idea for the footnotes from the XKCD “What-if?” series. I don’t remember when I first started using them. I just did a quick scan through the archives and found a footnote in a post from 2014, but I’m not sure how much further back they might go.

Over the years I’ve become so used to footnotes that I find it annoying to write without them. If I find myself writing a long email, I’ll usually end up with lots of awkward parenthetical statements that I wish I could turn into footnotes.

Before I had footnotes, I sometimes wrote nested parenthetical statements. They were fun to write, but they’re ugly as hell and very hard on readability.

There weren’t any footnote plugins available back when I first introduced this feature. I cobbled it together myself by stealing some javascript from the What-if page and making my own version. To get a footnote system working in WordPress you need to do what most modern web developers do and string a bunch of different systems and languages together into a big Rube Goldberg machine.

First is the syntax. You don’t want to clutter up your articles with tons of complex HTML. So I use a fairly minimalist shortcode that looks like this:

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “About The Footnotes…”

 


 
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Joker's Last Laugh

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Zenimax vs. Facebook

This series explores the troubled history of VR and the strange lawsuit between Zenimax publishing and Facebook.

 

Borderlands Series

A look at the main Borderlands games. What works, what doesn't, and where the series can go from here.

 

Grand Theft Auto Retrospective

This series began as a cheap little 2D overhead game and grew into the most profitable entertainment product ever made. I have a love / hate relationship with the series.

 

The Best of 2011

My picks for what was important, awesome, or worth talking about in 2011.

 

Internet News is All Wrong

Why is internet news so bad, why do people prefer celebrity fluff, and how could it be made better?

 

If Star Wars Was Made in 2006?

Imagine if the original Star Wars hadn't appeared in the 1970's, but instead was pitched to studios in 2006. How would that turn out?

 

Spider-Man

A game I love. It has a solid main story and a couple of really obnoxious, cringy, incoherent side-plots in it. What happened here?

 

My Music

Do you like electronic music? Do you like free stuff? Are you okay with amateur music from someone who's learning? Yes? Because that's what this is.