The Blistering Stupidity of Fallout 3, Part 4

By Shamus Posted Sunday Jun 21, 2015

Filed under: Retrospectives 123 comments

So the themes are a mess, the setting is nonsense, and the most important character is a dumbass with a really intelligent sounding voice. But Dad isn’t the only man in this world who would lose to a wooden signpost in a thinking contest…

The Enclave are all dumb jerk idiot heads.

We’re here to kill people that have nothing we want and fix a machine that’s only useful to the people we’re trying to kill.

To be fair, they were never very bright. But at least they were dummies with a goal. Let’s just hand-wave the massive avalanche of contrivances and coincidences needed to explain how they somehow knew what Dad was doing and showed up five minutes after we turned on the power at the purifier, even though this place was free for the taking for the last 18 years. Fine. They’re here. Let’s talk about why.

Let me ask you about the Enclave in Fallout 3: What do these clowns want? At the end of the day, how are they hoping to improve their lot in life? What do they need? Land? Not likely, and this land is worthless anyway. Food and water? These people don’t have any. Slaves? The Enclave has a doom fortress of robots and magical technology to do their work for them, so the last thing in the world they need is a bunch of hungry, disease-ridden, irradiated slaves stinking up their nice clean base. And besides, what work needs to be done?

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “The Blistering Stupidity of Fallout 3, Part 4”

 


 

Arkham Asylum EP6: Ball Soup

By Shamus Posted Friday Jun 19, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 75 comments


Link (YouTube)

I’d like to point out that of the 6 episodes of Arkham Asylum so far, only half of them directly refer to “ass” or “balls” in the title. And at the top of the episode we go over four minutes without making jokes about drawing dicks on things. This is all part of our efforts to deliver you the most analytical and highbrow videogame show on the internetBUTTS!.

I know I jump in and out of “reflexive fanboy defense” mode when Josh says he doesn’t like the combat. For the record, in a non-joking way: The combat in this game falls somewhere between serviceable and dull. If you find yourself playing the game, I suggest putting the game on easy and enjoying it as a breezy power fantasy. As someone who didn’t have a lot of experience with these kind of games in the past, “easy” felt “just right”.

The next game is much better, but I don’t want to over-hype it. There are still things about it that feel stiff and awkward, and the camera is still the main villain if you find yourself fighting in a small space. I’ve managed to fall in love with it anyway, but that’s because I’ve learned to tolerate or ignore the faultsTwice butts!.

 


 

SuperBunnyHop: Lies & Hype: The E3 2015 Story

By Shamus Posted Friday Jun 19, 2015

Filed under: Movies 122 comments


Link (YouTube)

George gives us another smart, thought-provoking video, and I thought it was so interesting that I wanted to give it its own thread here. Also, a lot of what he discusses involves the non-journalist, non-developer, non-publishers out there – the gaming public at large – and how they respond to this sort of advertisement-as-news.

Like George, I kind of feel like it’s my job to follow this stuff. Not because I think you folks want to be deluged in screenshots, trailers, and marketing speak, but because it’s kind of required to be part of the overall conversation. For a lot of people, there’s an expectation that I ought to know about all this stuff already.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “SuperBunnyHop: Lies & Hype: The E3 2015 Story”

 


 

Arkham Asylum EP5: Batass

By Shamus Posted Thursday Jun 18, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 87 comments


Link (YouTube)

We’re not even going to get into the blasphemy that Mumbles was spouting about Spiderman being a bigger bully than Batman. I’m just going to assume she’s talking about some newer incarnation of Peter Parker. MY Parker was a college guy trying to balance his obligations at school, a girlfriend, paying his bills, his aging aunt, and his part-time job, while also being seemingly the only superhero in a New York infested with Electro, Rhino, Green Goblin, and Dr. Octopus. Nowadays I suppose he’s hanging out with billionaires, fighting galactic horrors in a city brimming with cross-overs, recovered from death half a dozen times and retired and un-retired another half dozen. He might even be dating a supermodel or something. The beleaguered Peter that used quips and one-liners to mask his pain and anxiety is a relic of a bygone era.

Anyway. Let’s talk about this episode…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Arkham Asylum EP5: Batass”

 


 

The Blistering Stupidity of Fallout 3, Part 3

By Shamus Posted Thursday Jun 18, 2015

Filed under: Retrospectives 181 comments

So the themes and premise of Fallout 3 are wrong. And the setting is wrong. So now we have to get by on the strength of the relationships in the game. That’s too bad, since…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “The Blistering Stupidity of Fallout 3, Part 3”

 


 

Arkham Asylum EP4: It’s Raining Mooks!

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jun 17, 2015

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 59 comments


Link (YouTube)

I make fun of Josh in the episode because his playstyle feels all wrong. Although like he says, it DOES get the job done. And assuming you’re new to the series, this probably gives you a really good idea of what your first play-through is going to look like.

I don’t have much to say about this part of the game that I didn’t say in the episode, so let me go on a digression regarding the sequel:

I’ve been playing Arkham City on NewGame+. It sounded like a fun idea at first, but it turns out it’s actually just really annoying. Like most NG+ modes, it lets you play through the entire story again, but you keep all of your upgrades from your initial play-through and newer, tougher foes are thrown in the mix. That’s really nice, since the first third of the game is normally pretty light on combat.

My problem is that you don’t get the flashing indicator showing when someone is about to attack. At first this is fine: You just judge the fight by reading the body language of your foes. But late in the game fights are moving fast, there’s particle effects and smoke, the camera is spinning all over the place, and crowds are dense. Also, once in a while a mook runs up to you and then mysteriously pauses for three seconds before taking a swing at you. You’ll see him coming, hit the counter button, and break your flow. It feels like a battle against the camera and dice rolls more than mastering the controls. I admire the intent, but I don’t think it quite works.

 


 

Experienced Points: In Defense of Reboots

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jun 16, 2015

Filed under: Column 165 comments

My column this week is about how rebooting a series gives you a license to make something new and unexpected.

You could turn it around and say that this is really a column about how making story-based sequels is a trap for the writer that turns something fresh and new into mindless fanservice and plot holes.

In today’s Square Enix press conference at E3, they showed off the upcoming Deus Ex: Humanity Divided. Instead of amazing us with a daring new world, they ticked off the list of stuff we expect to see in the game. Yes, the Illuminati will be there, those rascals! Instead of being intrigued by the premise I listened to the presentation thinking, “This doesn’t fit with Deus Ex lore at all, and conflicts with known events both past and future.”

Discussion: What other games would benefit from a clean slate approach to lore? Which ones are sacred and shouldn’t be rebooted?