T w e n t y S i d e d
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Jaquandor once said this about quoting Monty Python at a Renaissance Festival, although this applies just as well to playing D&D:
Having said that, just try to get through this part of the movie without thinking about it. I swear the old woman in panel six is just about to say, “There’s some lovely filth over here.”
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This really is like shooting fish in a barrel.
Project Frontier
A programming project where I set out to make a gigantic and complex world from simple data.
Linux vs. Windows
Finally, the age-old debate has been settled.
Could Have Been Great
Here are four games that could have been much better with just a little more work.
Silent Hill Origins
Here is a long look at a game that tries to live up to a big legacy and fails hilariously.
Bethesda NEVER Understood Fallout
Let's count up the ways in which Bethesda has misunderstood and misused the Fallout property.
“I can’t let you in while we, or anyone else is armed.” ROFLOLMCOMN (…milk coming out my nose)
I’m going to go and get a glass of water.
I don’t know how you do it. Another masterpiece!
Not comments about how the Romans, they go in the house?
Crud… that should be “No comments.”
Also, I just realized, it should be something about “The Rohan, they go in the house.”
(Defiantly): It says “Rohirrim go home!”
“=How= many Rohirrim?”
People they are called Rohirrim go to the house?
Surely John Cleese’s finest moment
But this is direction toward, isn’t it?
A moose bit me once…
No realli! I was Karving my initials on the mà¸à¸se with the sharpened end of an interspace tà¸à¸thbrush given to me by Svenge
We apologize for the faults in the comments. Those responsible have been sacked. The comments have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.
When I was in Latin, I had a bad moment while watching Life of Brian. “You want the imperative, you fool!” I was actually correcting his grammar before Cleese…
Actually, not once during any of the LOTR movies did any MPFC dialog make itself felt inside Mr Brain. It must be an age thing (born before MP&THC). Either that, or repeated exposure to the Lego version of Holy Grail (it’s in the extra features) works the need out of you.
When it’s done with Lego, its done for good.
I’m kind of surprised though that Legoless didn’t try the “Ni!” ploy when they got surrounded by Rohirrim back in “The Name Game”.
Steve.
Oh, I’m such a sucker for the whole melodrama thing, I was too busy going “Ooh! Ahh!” to even *think* any such thing.
That said, I am going to have a LotR marathon, and I think we’ll ban MP quotes *except* at Edoras.
Steve, no MP twinges at all? Not even during the Lurtz/Aragorn “It’s only a flesh wound” fight?
WORMTONGUE: “Kill them!”
LEGOLAS: “Aha… !”
DM: “No, please… no!”
Fetchez la vache!
When Sam and Frodo climbed into Shelob’s cave, they should have known something was up. “Lookit the bones, man!”
And soon they’ll be forced to eat their minstrils…
And there shall be much rejoicing.
(if they had any minstrils, that is)
Aw, you missed a good punchline.
“Can I trust you guys not to quote Monty Python?”
“Yes! GET ON WITH IT!”
In fact, according to one of the Lord of the Rings fan club magazines, even Peter Jackson and company were desperately resisting the urge to make Holy Grail references during the filming at Edoras.
It’s just too easy.
this was produced by word llamma press. a llamma bit my sister once….
Mind you, llamma bite can be nasti.
We apologise again for the fault in the comments. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.
Right! Right! This is getting silly. Move along, move along, nothing to see, nothing to see.
Director Shamus! Now… a close up on my comment… good, good. Closer… there. Now… write the next post! Aaaaaaaand… post it!
I think the humor on xkcd would appeal to people who like DMotR too, so I figured it made sense to point out:
http://xkcd.com/c16.html
Me brain hurts.
Seriously, tho, the only thing I could think of when they were encountering Shelob was, “Where’s Harry Potter when you need him?”
And now it’s time for the penguin on top of your telly to explode.
Now, I would just like to point out that this thread is displaying a distinct tendency to become SILLY. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do… except, perhaps my wife… and some of her friends. Oh, yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that’s beside the point! I’m warning this thread NOT to get SILLY again! Right!
I swear the old woman in panel six is just about to say, “There's some lovely filth over here.”
Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence! Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!
“Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence! Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!
”
A quote from “The Princess Bride”, right ? It’s in a dream of the main character if I recall correctly. Good movie. Watched it 3 times as a kid.
It was a book first.
You KNEW this comic was going to spawn a crapload of stupid Python quotes, didn’t you?
“Stupid Python quotes”??
No such thing.
(No one ever quotes the stupid lines like, “But it’s my only line!”)
Hehe, that was great. :)
Keep it up.
“Not much call for it ’round here.”
“But, but it’s the single most popular cheese in the WORLD!”
This post cannot be seen. It has followed the careful instructions of the video “How Not To Be Seen” and, fearing that it shall be blown to smithereens, has chosen to hide behind some non-shrublike natural feature.
If you believe that you can see this post, you are sadly mistaken.
Unfortunately, it has chosen the obvious hiding place of between this post that the post two previous to this one.
Boom.
[Meru] Nope. I guess I’ve just had long enough to work the “spontaneous Holy Grail quote” thing out of my system (I am nearly as old as Gandalf and saw the movie at University when it was on general release).
Plus, I’d been waiting so long for LOTR to be competently visualised as a movie (or three) and was so gobsmacked that Jackson’s vision of the scenery was at once so different to mine yet so in accord with it that I never paused to ruin it with a “Rocky Horror” moment.
I’ve only run the DVDs once though, so there’s plenty of time for a change of heart.
Shamus’s version is, of course, a travesty and he should be roundly thrashed for making fun of what is sure to become a cultural icon. No thrashing is too good for him! We should make him into a ladder!
Steve.
That should read: No COMMA thrashing is blah blah dribble drool. Another victory for Mr Brain.
Right now, I am resisting the urge to quote Dennis, because I am 37. And have been mistaken for a woman from a distance. By someone not covered in s**t.
Barely resisting.
I’ll use the line ONCE before I turn 38, and have done with it. It’s part of my – –
my –
Idiom, my liege?
But it occurs to me that the mutual pleasure principle applies to both D&D and MP’sTHGrail. I mean, there are more women playing D&D by now, but at first there were mostly men (some giving life to female NPCs) wandering about looking for a quest/something to hack with their sword/running away from the higher ECL beasty.
That, and that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
Having endured the horrid snuff film of Mel Gobson’s Christ “story”, did any of you go back and watch the Life of Brian again? I still love that one for its darker than dark humour.
Now, go and boil your bottoms!
Um, left an unfinished note and posted by accident.
I think I looked forward to being serious AND silly, like the Pythons or like the Goblins, which I knew about from TV version of the Hobbit, and watching PBS evening broadcasts of the Flying Circus all got mashed up in me brain. Later, I read all of Tolkien’s Middle Earth works, lots of SciFi (Hello, Gamma World and Cyberpunk!), so it’s never going to be easy to reference oddness in pop culture among nerdly folk. It’s part of our collective experience to do and say goofy things.
Like read DM of the rings….Love it!
#1
A larch
#2
A larch
#3
A larch
#4
A larch
#5
A larch
#6
A spoon sir
“What?”
We found a spoon sir.
This is the funniest yet in a very funny series which I have been enjoying and turning my friends on to. Thank you so much for writing it!
Steve Says:
Shamus's version is, of course, a travesty and he should be roundly thrashed for making fun of what is sure to become a cultural icon. No thrashing is too good for him! We should make him into a ladder!
Oh! Spanking?! Spank *me*! and then…
(someone had to say it! you all know what comes next!)
Still chuckling,
S
These frogs with their terrible prattle, are fighting a battle with cattle, we’re all full of fear so let’s get out of here, run away run away run away.
I’m kinda loking forward to the battle of Helm’s Deep. If the DM says no quoting, you can bet there’s gonna be quoting.
And now for something completely different.
*worships Shamus* All hail the Bandit King!
First one who gets THIS quote gets a cookie.
Now you see the Python inherent in the system… Come see the Python inherent in the system! Help .. Help the comments digress!
Blessed be Sane Gus! Speak up! Oh.. it’s Shamus.. Blessed be Shamus..
A quote from “The Princess Bride”, right ? It's in a dream of the main character if I recall correctly. Good movie. Watched it 3 times as a kid.
…
What?
Only 3? That’s it?
You poor, poor man. I am soooo sorry. : ( My deepest sympathies on your lack of a proper childhood!
And Sarah… we can’t say it, it’s much too perilous.
I can just see it… at th battle of minus whatever (As the charecters might call it), They are day-dreaming and think that the catipulted chunks of granite are cows.
oops… marble
“Well, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some elven tart threw a sword at you!”
Or maybe:
Legolas: “This is an ex-Mumak!”
Gimli: “It still only counts as one…”
(What have you started?) :-)
Think back to the fight with the Orcs where Boromir dies defending the hobbits.
Think back to him taking one dramatically-timed arrow after another from the lead Orc.
Wait for the dramatic timing immediately after the first arrow.
“Message for you, sir!”
“And Sarah… we can't say it, it's much too perilous.”
Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Is that from “The Gamers” by Dead Gentlemen Productions?
SAURON: The Elves have bled us white! They’ve taken everything we had, and what have they ever given us in return?!
ORC: Poetry?
SAURON: What?
ORC: I said, ‘poetry’.
SAURON: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that’s true. Yeah.
SOUTHRON 3: And music.
TROLL: Oh, yeah, lovely music, Sauron I sounds so much better than burping and farting!
SAURON: Yeah. All right. I’ll grant you that poetry and music are two things that the Elves have done well with.
URUK-HAI: And the roads!
SAURON: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don’t they? But apart from the poetry, music, and the roads–
SOUTHRON: Rope making?
ORC: Medicine.
SOUTHRON 2: Education.
SAURON: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.
SOUTHRON 1: And the wine.
SOUTHRONS: Oh, yes. Yeah…
NAZGUL: Yeah. Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss if we killed all the Elves.
SOUTHRON: They also invented bathing.
TROLL: And it’s safe to walk in the streets in daylight now, Sauron.
NAZGUL: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let’s face it. They’re the only ones who could in a Middle-Earth like this!
SOUTHRONS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
SAURON: But apart from the music, the medicine, education, wine, public order, rope making, roads, long-winded poetry, and doing away with our stench, what have the Elves ever done for us?!
ORC: Brought peace?
SAURON: Oh, peace– Shut up!
Sem, you’ve only seen TPB three times? Dang. I’m afraid if you’re a Python fan, or a LoTR fan, you also have to be a PB fan. Sorry, that’s the Way It Is. Mandatory line-quoting and all. Anything else is simply inconceivable.
[Shamus] As a matter of interest, have you ever tried shooting fish in a barrel?
Never mind that whole “refractive index throwing off the actual position of the target” nonsense, consider the following obastcles to spacially constrained piscine assassination.
You have to hold the firearm up so high you will either drop it in the barrel after the recoil of the first shot almost breaks your wrist – assuming you use a pistol – or if you use a longarm you will end up with a broken jaw when the stock jumps out from under your arm, then you’ll drop the firearm in the barrel.
Even if you get the shot off by some cunning ploy, such as standing on another upturned barrel, you will be soaked by the splashback and possibly maimed or killed when the round ricochets off the concrete under the barrel base. The barrel staves might even give way due to the hydraulic shock of a modern, high-velocity bullet smacking into the fifty or so gallons of rainwater in the barrel, which will cause the barrel to burst, knock you off whatever you are standing on, get you soaked and make your neighbours laugh at you.
A clever person might suggest firing through the side-bung. This will only cause the cork to spall and result in yet another soaking and guaranteed ridiculing from the buggers next door.
I think, on the face of it, you should rephrase that to “easier than nipping down the fish mongers and buying a fish wrapped in paper”.
Steve.
Seldom have I ever more lamented the lack of a “
like” button on these comments…How high powered is your rifle for the shots to still have a dangerous amount of energy after passing through a barrel of water twice and ricocheting off a concrete floor?
Steve: This is exactly why the Tazer is made. : D The concept would be totally, completely, and in all others inconceivable.
Jurrubin, it’s is much too perilous for you.
Jeez, my keyboard hates me. That should read, “Otherwise, the concept would be totally, completely, and in all other ways inconceivable.”
“inconceivable”
You keep using that word…
Oh never mind. I can’t… I can’t do this. I’m sorry.
Eh, I never liked the old Bandit king anyway.
The only Python my wife and I quote during the LOTR films is in response to this sequence:
“Helm’s Deep!”
“Helm’s Deep!”
“Helm’s Deep!”
“It’s only a model.”
“Shh.”
I mean, when you’re handed a straight line like that…
It’s ok, Shamus. There is no shame in being unable to complete the Quoting.
What the hell am I saying… SHAME ON YOU!!!
*hands SecretFire a cookie*
Regarding the shooting of fish in a barrel:
There’s no rule that the fish in the aforementioned barrel are immersed in _water_, which is noted for slowing and deflecting bullets/other projectiles. That they are in or out of water is left out of the saying. Our tendency to assume fish are in water is badly designed to negotiate their continued well-being in any type of barrel. I keep my fish in a pond, for the record.
I always assumed that the muzzle blast would be enough to do the job in the event there is water as well as fish. That’s where a lot of wasted energy goes, anyway. The fish have no adaptive resistance to gunfire, in any case.
I have often pondered if the saying came from loosing such a barrel from a trebuchet – “why, it’s like launching fish in a barrel!”
I have to wonder aloud how many of you self-proclaimed Princess Bride fans have read the book. I have no wish to enter into a quarrel, nor to question your man/womanhood, but if you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor, go buy it. If ever there was a book better than the movie, this is it, and it’s a pretty shiny movie to begin with! I watch it every time I’m sick. I’ve seen it so many times, I’m starting to watch it in Spanish. It adds a new depth of hilarity to hear, in the midst of a string of foreign language that I can’t possibly separate into words, the name “Humperdink” spoken with a heavy accent. Oh, but I was talking about the book. Go get it.
That reminds me of watching Back to the Future in German class in high school. “McFly” in the middl of a line of German (with the COMPLETELY wrong voice for the characers) was quite funny.
Oh, and, just to be a valid comment on this thread: “Ni!”
Of course there’s no water in the barrel! The fish are dead and packed for shipping. They are probably preserved in salt. They are *not* happily swimming about in 50 gallons of rain water. So a shot from any angle is likely to pass through several fish. If the lid of the barrel is off, you could hit at least one fish with a gob of spit.
Otherwise, the saying wouldn’t mean “easy”. It would mean “good way to for Steve to hurt himself before giving up and heading to the fish monger’s”
I, for one, am dissapointed that nobody ever makes Discworld jokes when they play D&D. Monty Python jokes may be like launching an all out air strike on an army of ants, but Discworld jokes are an art form, dammit!
That was some good cookie!!!
“i am no man”
“A WITCH,A WITCH, SHE’S A WITCH!”
why isn’t gandolf named TIM? foom!
when gandolf comes back to life-“ALLWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE”
lambas bread-but they’re waffer thin!
one ring to rule them all- get yours now!
“INCONSEVABLE! YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD, I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT U THINK IT MEANS.”
*hiccup*
To Browncoat:
I’ve read TPB. Many times, in addition to watching the movie many, many, many times. Every time I watch the movie, I think of the very long descriptions of packing and clothes that were so thankfully edited out in “the good parts version”.
Actually, I do make Discworld jokes when I play D&D, especially because one of the players in my monthly game is even more fanatical about Pratchett than I.
“OH DO GO ON – THE STORY’S JUST GETTING GOOD.”
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
About the Bandit King…
Wasn’t he a character in Steven King’s “Dark Tower” series???
Glad I’m not the only one posting this late…
Re: shooting fish. I never concieved of shooting them with a gun, I always assumed a bow. Fish in a barrel are easy to shoot with an arrow, even if the barrel is filled with water. ‘Course you still need to stand on something, or get a shorter barrel.
Incredible comic, I’m slowly making my way through the archives now. How did I not hear about this earlier?
“What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
“What do you mean, AD&D or 3rd edition rules?”
“Wha..I don’t know that! AHHHhhh…”
Does it have a brothel?
Darkenna Says:
And now it's time for the penguin on top of your telly to explode.
Fornicate the penguin!
Too obscure?
On the other hand, if the guys behind Monty Python knew back then that they’d be ruining comedy for future generations would they still have done it? Back when Flyng Cirus was being created for dollars and cents in their basements, was there any comedy refrences the Python boys would quote while they worked as inside jokes? And their friends would get fed up and say “Come on guys! Write your own material for a change!”
I’m thinking after this, you need to do a Princess Bride campaign. Plenty of one liners in there too.
2 points to make:
1) you guys are sooooo limiting yourselves…try a barrel full of happilly swimming fish and a bazooka – no one said what they were shot with….
2) i’d like to also point out that this thread isnt dead yet….’bop’
“Right, no one is to enter while we, or anyone else, is armed”
… Shamus, you win the internet =D
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen Nazgul flight?
In fact, I can almost see the faces of the LotR characters instead of Sir Lancerlot,Sir Robin, Sir Galahad and the aptly named Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Movie
Shamus? I know you expected to get comments like these after you put this installment up, but did you *plan* for us to do it when you started writing it?
A little OT, but did anyone catch the Daily Show episode where a bunch of Trekkies went in costume, staying in character, to a Renaissance Festival, playing it out like a visit to an alien planet? That was a hoot, if only for how clearly annoyed the “Rennies” got with them.
I couldn’t disagree more with the statement you quoted. Quoting Monty Python is par for the ocurse in RPGs. Those who don’t like it, are the ones who truly have the problem.
My group is also quite fond of discworld. we even made a spell for it: rincewind’s expidous retreat. wait, no, it wasn’t a spell, Rincewind can use it! must have been a supernatural ability that went with a compulsion to flee all interesting things.
One more comment couldnt hurt….
Could it?
Steve: Have you ever considered a double barreled 12 gauge, buckshot in one and a slug in the other? No one ever said you had to fire into the TOP of the barrel….
(Extended scene where the Rohan villagers are singing while Legolas drinks Gimli ubder the table)
“In war we’re tough and able, quite inde-fati-gable. Between our quests, we sequin vests, and impersonate Clarke Gable. Its a busy life in [Edoras], I Have To Push The Pram Alot.”
Discworld: any statement made with a straight face and with complete honesty despite the ironic/grave/perilous situation is automatically a direct Corporal (Captain, Lance-Constable, wherever in the timeline you are used to him being) Carrot quote. :D
Or, to combine DW and MP, use the same above scene, singing Knights of the Round Table in the background, and Aragorn quoting Fred Colon about Gimli/Vimes: “He was born two drinks under par…”
Oh, the endless possibilities…
Before they’re allowed to ride a horse, do the children of Rohan use two empty halves of coconuts and bang them together?
Sorry, had to do that.
Would you rather some shitty Hallmark movie like “The 10th Kingdom” or “Merlin/Merlin’s Apprentice” be quoted at D&D campaigns? Ooh, how about “The Adventures of Robin Hood” starring Errol Flynn? Ooh, ooh, wait, what about: “Disney’s The Sword in the Stone”? Oh, wait, there’s more. Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, Eragon, Eldest, Disney’s Robin Hood, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves? Ooh, ooh, ooh, the immortal “Robin Hood: Men in Tights!” Oh, you can’t have a campaign without Rabbi Tuckman! He provides the sacramental wine for the clerics who feel it necessary to bless EVERYTHING!!
Honestly, the whole quoting issue could be much worse than Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and Princess Bride.
In a campaign I ran, we actually once had a quote from A Christmas Story. One of the players rolled a one on his attack roll. His arrow went in the wrong direction due to an unexpected crosswind, and in slow motion, the fighter who was hit by the arrow started to say “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUDDGGGGGGGGGGE!!!!”
He was criticaled.
If you think D&D has it bad, imagine how Pendragon GMs must feel.
you know I never knew the name of that communist peasant in Monty Python, odd seeing as hes my favorite character
I started reading your work today. While Legolas kiling Smeagol is definitely #1 on my funny-shit list, this one comes as a good second. Epic win :D
LOL the ppl were starting and going WTF
:D
That… made my day.
“Right. I can’t let you in while we, or anyone else, is armed.”
I swear, I had that guard’s voice going through my head before I’d finished the first word!
And nobody wants some Spam spam spam spam~ spam spam spam spam on the comments on this post? My goodness, people here aren’t going for the MP serials, then again, I’d like to hear a comment from the Ministry of Silly Walks on Frodo’s “stumble technique”. Then again, what Idiot Olympics have the hobbit PCs been up to while the 3 remaining players are stuck not saying anything about the Holy Grail?
Happily, towards the end of 2007 Mythbusters tested shooting fish in a barrel.
-500 geek cred if you still haven’t seen the episode
For those of us who lost points on the mythbusters and shooting fish in a barrel, tell us, was the myth busted??? Geez, what are you, a mystery writer?
Hi, I thought someone might like to see this take on Monty Python and LoTR: (courtesy of the Internet Oracle)
http://cgi.cs.indiana.edu/~oracle/bestof.cgi?N=1351-1375
I had to tell you that a) I am loving this and have been crying with laugther and b) I’ve been listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack whilst I read it, and Spotify is phsychic. This is the third time I’ve had the relevant track playing!
The best part, Peter Jackson actually mentioned in the dvd commentaries that a big concern about these kinds of scenes was that people would be reminded of Python.
I remember an incident in one campaign when we could hear zombies coming up the stairs. The wizard takes out a couple bottles of oil and pours them down the stairs, saying he’s going to light the zombies on fire. The DM goes, “Did I mention the stairs are made of wood?”
Cue me going, “We’ve got some stairs! Burn the stairs, burn them! Burn Them!”
It’s too easy.
“… It’s like those bloody Psalms…
They’re so depressing…”
Interestingly enough, the golden hall WASN’T a model. The built that entire town on location, and those helicopter shots in the film are of the actual buildings.
Just thought that was a fun fact.
Very funny! Keep it up!
Messed up character encoding:
à¸
should be ø
(the incorrect two characters kinda mash together visually, so they’re on a line by themselves.)
My DM never watched Python. All the referrences went over his head. Despite the fact that I did Grandpa Plagewagon perfectly (I got incapacitated and didn’t want to go on the cart, I wanted to go for a walk).