T w e n t y S i d e d
Warning: For reasons we still don’t understand, this episode contains Mass Effect’s infamous XXX hard core porno sex simulation*.
We joke about wanting to romance Tali, but I have the sense that this is a pretty common preference among male gamers. Tali seems to be a lot more popular than either Liara or Ashley. And I think she’s more popular because she’s simply more interesting. Liara is smart, Ashley is capable, but Tali is both. Yes, she has a skin-tight body suit, but so does just about everyone else in the game. More importantly, she’s got chicken feet and you never see her face. So I think her popularity is due to her personality far more than sex appeal.
Having said that, there seems to be no end of speculation (and photoshopping) concerning what we would find under the mask:
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(The real Tali model is actually pretty ugly under the mask. Her face is just there to hint at the shape with faux-lighting. I can’t find it now, but someone managed to move the camera close enough to look through her helmet using the clipping plane. They showed that her head is low-poly and sort of mannish. EDIT: Found it.)
We’re not ready to announce the next series, but I will say it’s not going to be Mass Effect 2. Not right away, anyway. We don’t want this to turn into “The Mass Effect Show”. We’re going to do one or two other games before we head into Mass Effect 2: Cerberus Goes Bananas.
* And by “XXX porno” we mean, “a side view of a bare female bottom”.
Quakecon 2011 Keynote Annotated
An interesting but technically dense talk about gaming technology. I translate it for the non-coders.
The Loot Lottery
What makes the gameplay of Borderlands so addictive for some, and what does that have to do with slot machines?
Twelve Years
Even allegedly smart people can make life-changing blunders that seem very, very obvious in retrospect.
Push the Button!
Scenes from Half-Life 2:Episode 2, showing Gordon Freeman being a jerk.
Good to be the King?
Which would you rather be: A king in the middle ages, or a lower-income laborer in the 21st century?
Well, you finally got away from viddler giving you preschool adds, but I’m not sure condom adds are that much of an improvement.
Shouldn’t they be giving, I don’t know, gaming related adds?
Well this is a Mass Effect video…
I got an Evony ad. Does that count?
I don’t think I would take that Tali face as canon or anything…it was probably designed with a big nose and weird features just to make the highlights stand out under the mask like you said.
I’m sure Bioware will give her an attractive-to-humans face when they inevitably show her face in ME3.
I’m sure you’re right.
And in Mass Effect 2
I did the whole Tali romance quest, and YOU STILL DON’T GET TO SEE HER FACE! That’s all I wanted. I didn’t want to see her naked. I just wanted to see under the visor.Made me sad.
I found that video on Youtube, and yeah – it’s obvious that they’re doing their best to keep the fan-debate about what she actually LOOKS like alive.
I hope that she doesn’t wind up looking like another blue human…and weirdly enough, one of the fan-ideas for her face somehow managed to look adorable (in a woobie way), despite having mandibles.
“one of the fan-ideas for her face somehow managed to look adorable (in a woobie way), despite having mandibles.”
Don’t suppose you have a link for that, do you?
Same here.Though I wasnt really sad,but burst out laughing.Still,I dont regret going that path.
Well maybe it’s all for the best. I think one of the things that contributes to Tali’s mystique is the fact that we don’t know what’s under the mask, like she’s forbidden fruit. It just makes the prospect of interacting with her all the more enticing.
I actually laughed at that – I just thought “nice one, Bioware. Clever!” Although I was a bit angry.
But anyway, I didn’t knew that Tali has a russian accent in the english version – I wish she would have that in the german version, too, because a russian accent is the most attractive accent in the whole world – for me, at least.
Personally, I wish they don´t show her face ever, since I have the pathological sense that unmasking characters that wear a mask 24/7 takes away a part of their appeal (Yeah, I like masks).
Besides, I don´t know how would mae a more fitting moment to show her face than the one in ME2. Maybe a death scene? That would be to much of a player-punch.
I’m with you on that one. For sure, keep the quarian faces forever shrouded in mystery!
So what did you think of the part of Watchers that Rorschach spends without his mask?
(assuming you’ve watched it, of course)
You have a good point there.Tali is interesting because she is such a well developed person.While the shock of her true look would be big,whatever she looks like,by conversing with her after that youd soon get used to the fact that this is still tali.And though such a transition requires good writing to be done successfully,Im confident bioware can do it.
I haven´t. I guess that gives me a +5 to dodge!
For some reason when I got to the end of the article and saw “Mass Effec 2: Cerberus Goes Bananas” immediately followed by a footnote about “XXX porno” and automatically translated that into “Cerberus Gone Wild!”
My brain is in strange places now…
She’s a Gaim, all tentacles and Cthulhu chic. And yes, she’d still be the most attractive member of the team because of her brains, which are visible and pulsating.
You’ve just ruined everything, ever.
Except Babylon 5, which is oddly better now…
No he hasn’t. Well, maybe a little.
I definitely agree with the argument that it’s more about Tali’s personality than sex appeal; I’m gay, and I ended up romancing her just because it felt right. (Also because they wouldn’t let me get with Garrus as a male Shepard, but that’s beside the point)
I’m not sure if this is a problem on my end, but the video keeps blacking out when I try to watch it. Combined with the fucking awful ads everywhere (some that LAST LONGER IF YOU DON’T CLICK ON THEM), I think it’s time to get a new video provider.
Stupid league of legends the ad weirded out on me and took up like 25% of the screen through the entire viewing (in fullscreen in the non-fullscreen it was like 90%) oh well no big deal just annoying.
I agree about Tali she is a very well made character, she’s intelligent and impressive with a very realistic personality she has issues but she isn’t all that whiny about it (Jack I’m looking at you). Also her design is the least blatant fan-service, sure her space suit is skin tight but it isn’t made of black latex with a cleavage that would make a succubus blush. Also also she and Jack are the only female character who do not wear high-heels in combat on rocky alien worlds :E. Given ME1 is better in this regard than the sequel.
ME1 is much better than ME2 for the “fan service” department. It was a little disgusting when you stopped and thought about all of the womanflesh they were showing off in that game.
Is it just me,or are the romances in 2 much better then in 1?I mean liara is nice,but she is just a naive child(by asari standards,that is).Though I have to shamefully admit I didnt try female path in mass effects.That makes mass effect the first rpg since planescape:torment where my first playthrough was with a male.
Sniper rifles are actually very good against sentinels and destroyers.Especially if you outfit them with shield penetrating bullets.And they are great for clearing out planet,if you dont want to lose xp by shooting out of mako.In 2 they are even deadlier.
And you have to admit that however bad elevators are,they still are better than the generic loading screens in 2.
Kaidan as a romance is pretty much like Kaidan as anything else, bland with a slight hint of emo. But then again unlike Ashley, he didn’t make me applaud gleefully when it was his turn to become part of the nuclear fallout on Virmire.
So yeah, romances in general are another thing ME2 handles better (except for the hardcore porno sex simulator, the scenes in ME2 are laughable)
And hell no, I prefer the generic loading screens. At least the speed of your hardware has some influence on how long these are displayed while ME1’s elevator ride from hell in C-Sec has a fixed length. I *know* he already loaded the level and yet I have to spend my time looking at the elevator doors like an idiot.
The loading screens in 2 also have a fixed lenght they have to go through.And the elevators do depend on your hardware.Look how long the decontamination takes here when bunch of other things are running in the background(I assume its the recording process thats slowing it down).
Huh, my post of explaining why Tali IS the hawtness got snipped. Well, the point was, the mask stuff is probably part of what makes her mysterious, and thus, sexy.
Considering many of the other characters look like their voice actor counterparts, here is Tali Zorah, aka Liz Sroka:
http://bulk.destructoid.com/ul/user/9/9980-72948-talisrokajpg-550x.jpg
And let the geek fantasies begin!
Re: Finding out what’s under Tali’s helmet:
Someone did the same thing with the Master Chief. He and Tali could be twins.
And that is the saddest thing of all.
I hope you only get the BioWare staff that worked on ME1 in whatever vengeance you have planned :P.
I've been enjoying the series, thanks for making them :).
I’ve always liked Tali the best out of the female team members. Used her every mission in ME1 and as soon as I got her in ME2 I always took her along too. She’s so cute! Good script and voice acting for her romance I have to say. Rather enjoyed it. I’m happy not seeing her face ever, it adds to her mysterious and sexy appeal.
Also thought her Loyalty mission was one of the best.
Shamus, you mentioned the slanty elevator in the episode – there’s one similar to it in Vegas at the Luxor hotel, where you ride along the slope of the corner of the pyramid. They call it an “inclinator”.
Quick question: where did the Tali photoshop face come from? Is it an original image? It seems vaguely familiar.
As far as I understand it (from hints and rumors) the Quarians are basically elf-looking. Thin jaws, pointy ears, glowing slanted eyes. Night elves?
Anyway, Liz Stroka is definitely fitting the voice of Tali. No pun intended, but she LOOKS right.
In ME2 Tali is my favorite romance. I don’t care if she’s just a rotten skull, her voice and body language, combined with her brain, would still make her the cutest girl in the galaxy.
That would mean Bioware was inspired by the Eldar from WH40k. Just look at their backgrounds: both screwed up their homeworlds and both have their new homes in spacecrafts. If they go for the elf-look, then we can all agree that Everything is Better with Warhammer 40K!
I’ve been watching the new Battlestar Gallactica series recently (never saw when it was on), and it occurred me a while back that the Quarians and Geth are basically the Humans and Cylons, and wondered if (that part of) ME was inspired by BSG.
– Culture builds sentient AI
– AI rebels, which leads to war
– Outlawing research into AI as a result of the war
– They establish a shaky truce, and the machines leave
– Culture forced to live on ships, with no permanent settlement
– When the machines come back much later, the new models look rather organic compared to the early models
Not all the details are the same (e.g.
300 years vs 50 years between encounters; Humanity not being forced onto their ships until the second Cylon war; No other aliens in BSG besides Humans and Cylons), but the basic framework is the same.Of course, that doesn’t preclude one or both of them being inspired by WH40K, or all three being inspired by something older.
Note to Shamus: I tried using the [s] tag for spoilers, but it didn’t work. When I edited the comment, they had been removed. [strike] works as it should.
* To get renegade points from Keeler you need to either Intimidate him into taking leave to get over his addiction or give him a depressant instead. It’s actually one of the few pro-cooperation with aliens renegade options.
* You learned the location of the Mu Relay from Benezia, who learned it from the rachni queen.
* I hate that they took the map out of most areas in Mass Effect 2 and replaced it with a “go this way” arrow when you hit M. I almost always try to explore every corner of each area, which is made harder by not having a map. And unlike the thermal clips or carpal-tunnel probing, I don’t think I can just tweak a few lines in the .ini to pretend they didn’t change it.
* You know elevator jokes are overdone when BioWare’s making them. There’s one in both Dragon Age and Mass Effect 2.
* Re: Tali. She and Liara were pretty much from the start my two favorite squad members. I like Liara slightly better, but they’re both awesome.
Definitely Tali if my opinion if asked. In ME2 I find Jack’s backstory very interesting but honestly I’m getting tired of Bioware jamming this bitchy hard-ass cliche into everyone of their games — I grudingly spent all my time in Dragon Age talking to Morrigan even though I couldn’t stand her confrontational-for-the-sake-of-it and the writers getting to call you dumb no matter what dialogue and personality just because I’m such a huge fan of Claudia Black.
And Miranda? She seemed bland and then there was one moment where the hold position for a camera angle while I picked my response had her butt essentially dominating half the screen with my PC shown beyond it while I got to pick my dialogue option. I’m not sure WHY that made me lose all interest in her as a character, but I generally get a bit bored when the decision is made to play up a characters sexuality without a damn point (for another example of this Tits McGee in Stargate: Universe).
Jack is really not that bad considering other bitches in bioware games.And morrigan at least has a reason,unlike ashley.Personally,Id go through mass effect 2 again just so I could romance jack,since she gets more and more interesting the more you get her to open to you.
I don’t remember the details all that well but didn’t Grunt put the Quarians on one level with the Turians when it comes to physical resistance and required effort to kill?
Sure, that might have something to do with that suit they are wearing but it still leaves me cautious. Meh, they are probably just energy beings masquerading as angels anyway /obscure babylon 5 reference
I don’t think it’s the actual physical strength he means when he calls them “Hard” (or rather calls them “Not soft”). I think it’s their mental strength and dedication to duty.
… But he was talking having to work the blade a bit to get into a turian.
And Salarians are always going on about “holding the line” so I think you may be mistaken.
Yes, but Quarians are not Turians…
And Salarians are extrmely squishy. It’s just that they are dedicated to what they are doing (so are humans, from Grunt’s perspective; as Wrex points out, not having a spare nervous system can be painful…).
Basically, Grunt means they fight like true warriors.
So in Mass Effect 3 Tali’s dialogue will be only one or two words with cryptic stuff about truth being a three edged sword thrown in? God dammit.
That would be really,really bad.
Also,it would be nice to have mording in 3.He says the funniest things.And in the funniest ways.
He groups Humans, Salarians, and Asari as “soft”, Quarians “not so much”, and Turians otherwise.
This is in response to Shepard inquiring about any other implanted info on humans, with Grunt previously mentioning something about how easily humans’ spines break, and before he goes on to talk about shoving a knife between Turian plates.
There is some debate on the line (specifically whether or not it takes into account the suits). I like to think that their skin is somewhat scaly, reptilian-like.
Rewatching the video,I got an image of a romance with joker.That would be so funny.”Sorry for breaking your ribs last night honey,I can be a little wild.”
But then again,youd have to fight with edi over him.
That was my first time seeing the controversial scene, and I have to say, I’m not impressed. I don’t think there were any Marxist allegories in that elevator ride at all, and I think calling it a defense of Stalinism is frankly reaching.
Oh, and the sex scene was pretty tame too.
Sad, really. Would have liked to have seen you do ME2 on the heels of ME1. You know, the continuity of it all.
On the Serpent Nebula: The Codex mentions that the nebula doesn’t seem to be dispersing, despite how much time has passed. Scientists actually speculate that the nebula is constantly being replenished, perhaps by the emission of nano-scopic waste material from the Citadel itself.
On Tali’s appeal: Is it just me, or am I right in saying that unless a guy has a serious foot fetish, he’s seriously NOT going to care what his lady’s feet look like? :P
Tali is, by and far, THE most popular love interest in ME2. One look at the Bioware forums will confirm that. Each of the love interests has a “Fan Thread”, usually consisting of anywhere from a few dozen to several hundred pages. Tali’s has over FIVE THOUSAND. And this is the THIRD such thread. (The previous two threads got closed by mods because they were getting too long.) And it’s growing every day!
But all that said, I do like Tali the best out of all the female love interests too. As others have said, she has a very memorable personality. She also has distinct strengths, but also a certain vulnerability. Bioware did a better job with the love interests in ME2, I feel; Miranda is quite a multi-layered character once you get past the stereotypical ‘ice queen’ persona, as does Jack. (Although Jack is still a total psycho and I would never have taken her on my crew in the first place. I sympathise greatly with her past and history, but she’s just too broken to ever fit into normal society again, I fear.)
On poorly lit and confusing bases: I KNEW there was always a good reason why evil archvillains like to keep their hideouts gloomy and dark! ;)
I can’t help but imagine some of the races, like the turians, salarians, krogans and maybe even quarians as being cold-blooded, unlike warm-blooded humans. If that’s the case, it would be really weird holding a stone-cold body in your arms in bed. And would the different biological composition of these aliens give off certain odours? This would be a real turn-off.
They would be comparatively cold, yes; most cold-blooded animals are approximately as warm as the air. Stone-cold? Perhaps not so much :)
Salarians have a hyperactive metabolism and Turians evolved from avians. So these two are definitely not cold-blooded. The Krogans are a good candidate though with their strong adaptability to extreme temperatures.
Just my opinion, but a guy has to be pretty desperate and lonely to get worked up by a woman in a gas mask.
She’s probably only wearing it because the player in question hasn’t showered in a week.
Or he can be a huge fan of post-apoc stuff.
I’m not, but you know. Just saying.
SHAMUS, RANDY, THAT OTHER GUY:
If you’re not going to Let’s Play ME2 next, DO DWARF FORTRESS.
DO DWARF FORTRESS!
DO DWARF FORTRESS!
DO DWARF FORTRESS!
DO DWARF FORTRESS!
DO DWARF FORTRESS!
I think that picture of Tali is really neat. When I saw how high-res the full image was, I made it my desktop, which was neat for a while… But now every time I see it it gets creepier and creepier. SHE’S STARING AT MY SOUL.
In what might be the biggest “DO OVER” of my life, I realized today that I had been running ME at max resolution, even tho during the editting process it was being reduced to a much more appropriate resolution. I apologize to all you viewers out there that were forced to witness abysmal FPS, I just tested it, and Fraps+Livestream+Mass Effect+Vent+Steam ect.. was running at a smooth 30 FPS consistently when done with 1080 Resolution. I demand a do over!
Fair enough.You guys owe us a do over at the rate no less than 1 episode every day.Get to it.
She’s not alien enough.
I haven’t played either Mass Effect game, so I’d always assumed quarians breathed some different sort of atmosphere than most other species you meet, hence the spacesuits. I also absolutely love Tali’s accent- I figured it was because she has a different vocal apparatus trying to approximate human speech. (Although now I’m wondering why English seems to be the official language of everybody… :) )
Geez. One of the only games that allows you to deside your fate and you have to do it with her? Mass Effect fail.
I have no idea why, but upon archive diving for the comments, I got Chrome’s “Oh no malware” page, saying that this page contains content from ” cerberus-network.xf.cz”, a known malware something-or-other. Thought I’d let you know, in case it recurs.