Described as a “reimagining” of the series that was created by MicroProse in the mid-90s, players in the new XCom game (that’s right, XCom, not X-Com) will take on the role of an FBI agent in charge of identifying and eliminating a deadly threat posed by “an unknown and faceless enemy that is violent probing and plotting its way into our world.” The game will maintain the “strategic core” of the original X-Com games, combining it with the natural intensity of a first-person experience.
So, they have decided to honor the legendary turn-based strategy sim by reimagining it as a shooter. Perfect. Perhaps next they can reimagine 12 Angry Men as a Jerry Bruckheimer-produced buddy cop movie with car chases and explosions. Let’s reimagine the Sistine Chapel on the ceiling of T-Pain’s pimped-out mansion with an image of T-Pain doing a fist-pound with a deified Vanilla Ice. Citizen Kane can be reimagined as an anime harem comedy about a Newspaper Tycoon / Mech pilot and the bevy of hot young girls who come between him and his robot maid Rosebud. And then let’s reimagine the Audrey Hepburn / Gregory Peck movie Roman Holiday, using Pam Anderson and Ben Afleck.
We had to destroy the franchise in order to save it. Except, it was already destroyed. So, I guess we had to use the wreckage to build cheap, shallow mockery of the original.
Is there anything on this planet you idiots won’t turn into a shooter? I’m a fan of shooters, but isn’t there room in this hobby for something else? You guys have successfully euthanized the turn-based strategy genre, but is it completely necessary for you to rape the corpse?
Dang kids. Get off my lawn.
Diablo III Retrospective
We were so upset by the server problems and real money auction that we overlooked just how terrible everything else is.
The Terrible New Thing
Fidget spinners are ruining education! We need to... oh, never mind the fad is over. This is not the first time we've had a dumb moral panic.
The Game That Ruined Me
Be careful what you learn with your muscle-memory, because it will be very hard to un-learn it.
Steam Summer Blues
This mess of dross, confusion, and terrible UI design is the storefront the big publishers couldn't beat? Amazing.
Marvel's Civil War
Team Cap or Team Iron Man? More importantly, what basis would you use for making that decision?