T w e n t y S i d e d

Where were we? Everyone decides to attack the Panzer IV team, Saori and Hana panic until Miho calms them down, they start speeding away to avoid getting shot, Mako is napping on the ground directly in front of the speeding tank. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…

Hana hits the brakes and as the tank slows Mako executes a perfect leap onto the front deck of the tank. Or, almost-perfect as she falls on her face immediately. Saori pops up out of the commander’s cupola and to no-one’s surprise, knows Mako. Miho recognizes Mako from their encounter that morning, and Saori immediately interjects “So *that’s* why you were late.” One of the other teams lands a shot near the tank so everyone climbs back in, now with Mako on board.

Straight ahead is a wooden suspension bridge with metal plates laid out, apparently to facilitate tanks driving across it. Miho doesn’t trust it fully, so she runs ahead and guides the nervous Hana across. Unfortunately they don’t even make it halfway when Hana over-corrects and hits one of the metal wires binding the bridge, causing it to unravel and dangerously affect stability. AND just then the Stug III crests the hill behind them, firing a shell that hits the Panzer IV’s left fender solidly enough that it helps realign the tank on the bridge, but also catches Hana off guard and knocks her out. Miho jumps back in to help with Hana and the I-Go pulls up next to the Stug; the two begin advancing down the hill. Hana is still out cold so Miho prepares to drive, despite claiming to “not be very good at it.” I don’t remember this ever being tested, but like most of Miho’s claims about her own abilities, I suspect this is a product of the trauma from her upbringing; she’s probably more than adequate. Especially considering no one else here has ever driven a tank. But that’s not explored now, for sure, as the tank suddenly starts moving in reverse. Mako has seized the controls, having literally just learned how to drive the Panzer IV. As in, the actual operating instructions for the tank (these are real, by the way) are propped up in front of her. The hall monitor this morning mentioned Mako’s good grades, and Saori now references Mako’s position as “top-of-the-class.”

Plausibility rating (again): Sure, why not? (again)

Mako reverses and stops the tank. Notably, without orders (things are a bit hectic and uncontrolled at the moment) she puts the tank in gear and begins to move forward again seconds before the Stug III fires, keeping the Panzer from taking the hit. Hana is awakened by the near-miss. Miho verifies Hana is ok and tells her to rest in the Radio Operator’s seat (the front right of the tank.) Then you can literally see the mode change. Miho’s smile drops and her facial expression changes as she looks forward. She tells Yukari to rotate the turret and target the Stug III (sound reasoning, as the Stug is the most dangerous to the Panzer IV right then) Yukari nails a shot to the Stug’s front armor, a flat plate to the right of the gun. We are then introduced to the most important but open-ended mechanic of Sensha-do: disabling.

Tankery in this familiar-yet-fictional Earth acknowledges physics, then politely asks physics to knock it off for a while.

We have been told real ammo is used, and we SEE real shells embedded in steel armor in this battle. But it’s all done “safely,” so that’s “OK.” Which is hand-waving so hard you generate thrust if you’re trying to make sense of this. We have been told people hardly EVER get hurt, yet we’ve seen tanks bounce around, and MUCH WORSE will happen later in the series. Girls und Panzer does throw out at one point that the tanks of Sensha-do are covered in/built/lined with some kind of carbon-based material that absorbs much of the energy of the shots, wrecks, accidents, etc…but it’s also clear we as the viewer are meant to feel the actual drama of narrative-driven tank warfare. And the bottom line is, THAT’S THE POINT. This isn’t real. The girls of Team A aren’t riding a World War II Panzer IV ausf. D (version or series D, as in A, B, C, D, E, F; generally meaning the 4th iteration of the production vehicle). They are riding, not a replica either, but an idealization. It can replicate the roles and abilities to the extent it’s useful for Tankery. Certain things, like the radios, are all standardized. All the tanks use the same offensive and defensive components, just made to look and mostly work like their “real world” prototypes.

Similarly, damage is derived from the narrative, but once again physics and reality aren’t ENTIRELY abandoned. The Stug III ausf. D (see previous note) had thick frontal armor. Where the armor is angled, like above and below the drive-line (same level as the tread wheels) and at the very top isn’t for aesthetics. Unlike naval warfare or long-range artillery, tanks are typically firing pretty flat shots, because they are usually fairly close together. Angling a plate of armor relative to the path of the shell fired means it has to penetrate more metal to continue on it’s path. The angle also increase the chance of deflection if the armor is strong enough vs. the power of the shot (which is a whole topic itself). In fact, a recognized weakness of early Panzers was the German use of right angles and box shapes. That plate to the right of the gun isn’t necessarily a weak spot in a definitive sense, but it’s weaker than many areas around it. Additionally, the right front of the gun area is where the loader pulled shells from. So if you do enough damage to that area you can cause that ammo to explode. As a final note, we haven’t been introduced to the idea that different “types” of ammo can be used to accomplish specific goals (I guess I just spoiled it) as well as the idea that different guns have different strengths. So the fact that the Panzer IV is currently equipped with the infantry support gun and not its later 75mm long gun has relevance to the technical arguments, but is essentially irrelevant in this battle where all the tanks are less than 100 meters from each other.

So, if you receive a “hit” that is judged to be disabling to the tank, your team is ruled out.

Like everything else in the tank battles, this works fine but is clearly powered by the story. The white flag can pop out of just about anywhere, and usually is “near” where the damage occurred. If a tank turns over, the flag will emerge from the side facing up. Also, it should be noted that “disabling” damage is similarly motivated by the needs of the story rather than strict guidelines. Now, to an extent, this can actually be explained simply. In this basic “learn to use your tank” match, “throwing a track” (the tank tracks on each side that the wheels drive on coming off or disconnecting) or the tank’s engine going out, both of which mean the tank can’t MOVE but the weapons probably still work, counts as “disabling.” In later matches we will see these things NOT count. But, as I was alluding to, that can be explained by the needs of the given match. Now, there’s going to be PLENTY of “questionable” actions later in the series; which is the major reason I’m pointing this all out NOW: even though this series is framed in “our world” it’s NOT REAL. I increasingly understand this show as a science fiction comedic melodrama. Girls und Panzer, in my opinion, used this format to more-successfully bridge the story to more demographics than similar properties. And once again, that’s not to take away from the amazing success of Strike Witches and Kantai Collection, both of which spawned successful copycats. Heck, I argue even now that Azur Lane is a better franchise than KanColle.

Back to the show. Yes, Yukari successfully stopped the Stug III with the Panzer IV’s 75mm “short” infantry-support gun. ALL of Team A, other than Miho of course, has a religious experience thanks to that gun. The unflappable Mako is even taken aback. But Hana, more than anyone, is DEEPLY AFFECTED.

Miho tells the group they’re taking out the Japanese Type 89 next, which rouses everyone. The Type 89 I-Go, manned by the Volleyball Team, fires and misses. Yukari lands a shell near front-and-center of the I-Go, which has slightly slanted armor but is also riveted plate (usually weaker than cast sections; but whether welded was superior depended on the method and the tank) AND I believe the I-Go has a hatch on the front, which is also often a weak point. On very early tanks, their main survivability relied on NOT GETTING HIT, at least not anywhere important. Team A has landed two very good shots on plausibly-vulnerable areas. Saori then spots the Student Council coming from the opposite direction in the Panzer 38(t). The First Years are hanging back in the M3 Lee. While Yukari rotates the Panzer IV’s turret, Student Council loader and gunner Momo (monacle girl) chortles maniacally, expecting a win.

She misses.

Firing at the same time, Yukari does NOT. Yukari’s target is not clear to me, but seems most likely to have been the coaxial machine gun placed next to the main 37 millimeter gun. SOMETHING is clearly shown shattered below that spot after the hit, smoke is pouring from that area, and inside Momo is shown sprawled on the floor. Along with the other two members of the Student Council she is dirty as if some kind of debris had entered the interior of the tank.

Seeing Team A take out three tanks with three shots while sitting in the middle of a bridge, the First Years panic and try to turn the M3 Lee away from the scene. Tank Commander Azusa doesn’t take stock of her surroundings however, and the tank de-tracks as they try to rotate in soft dirt and vegetation. They keep revving hard and hoping it somehow comes unstuck anyway, which causes the engine to die. This triggers the tank to disable (in this match, remember; this is less of an issue in the future). Leaving Team A as the winners (although Mako points out the First Years took themselves out). Instructor Ami singles out Team A for praise and leaves instructions for practice for the next few days. Although we also see the Student Council talk about how forcing Miho into Tankery was clearly the right choice.

Team A all take a hot bath in a huge, modern, and almost entirely deserted onsen. Saori says winning that match was more exciting than having a guy tell you he loves you for the first time, to which Hana politely asks if any man has actually done that. The answer is “yes, her father.” Saori then introduces the most important topic: clearly Miho should be the Tank Commander. All three team members (Mako is asleep) beg Miho to be in charge, and she finally accepts. The division of the other roles follows, with Saori moving to Radio Operator, Hana passionately asking to be the gunner, and Yukari nominating herself for loader. Mako awakens during this conversation, and I suspect knows what is about to happen. She rises to leave. Just as Miho should obviously be the Commander, Mako should be the Driver. She refuses as she heads for the door. Everyone compliments her driving and begs, but Mako turns them all down until Saori brings up the tardiness bonuses she would get from taking Tankery. Her late arrivals are getting so bad Mako could get held back a year. Mako returns to the group and accedes.

Mako, of course, insists she just decided to pay Miho back for helping her out this morning.

That is the first half of Episode 3: We’re having a match! I figured the second part of the episode wouldn’t have much to comment on, but I forgot there’s the scenes featuring the short-lived decoration and painting of the tanks, which deserves comment. And the introduction of the first “other” school probably would be a good time to address THAT issue.

Paige Francis He/him