By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jul 18, 2006

Filed under: Rants 5 comments

This FOX news story points out that there are 212 million mobile phones, meaning mobile phones are now a new addiction.

Does the word “addiction” even mean anything at this point? I can’t remember the last trend that didn’t get turned into an epidemic or an addiction by some hyperventilating goofball. If 212 million mobile phones is an addiction, then what of the regular landline phones? There are even more of them and people have been using them longer. Surely the landline phone addiction is worse than the mobile phone addiction! However, both are dwarfed by the rampant addiction Americans have for sleeping indoors and cooking their food before they eat it. Sadly, many Americans are also addicted to the grocery store: very few of them hunt or forage for their food. This is to say nothing of their addiction to sleeping and going to the bathroom.

Just because people do something often does not make the activity an addiction. Mobile phones are a new trend. They are popular because they are useful and convenient, not because Sprint has been spiking their units with opiates. Someday we’ll cross the threshhold on this and the news will stop talking about these crazies and their cell phones and they will start talking about the crazies who refuse to give up their landlines.

They refuse to give up their heavy, akward phone which is tied to a specific location? They must be addicted!

Now I’m going to go play Oblivion. I haven’t played in ten minutes and I’m getting the shakes.


From The Archives:

5 thoughts on “Addicted?

  1. Ubu Roi says:

    I’m addicted to earning a paycheck. Symptoms of withdrawal include depression, anxiety, anger, hunger, and debt-relief spam showing up in my computer mailbox. Fortunately, I’ve managed to feed my addiction for many years now.

    But I can quit anytime I want to. Really.

  2. hank says:

    You like to think that you’re immune to the stuff
    oh yeah
    but it’s close to the truth to say you can’t get enough
    You’re gonna have to face it you’re addicted to Ob.

  3. Old Man Matt says:

    Younger Hotter NPCs – Women


    I knew if I waited long enough someone would use that ridiuculous facegen shit to fix those ugly women. It’s nearly midnight here and I won’t be able to play with it until tomorrow night, but this is just so awesome! Just looking at those thumbnails, I can tell they’re a bazillion times better lookling.

    I’m feeling giddy just thinking about it.

    Oh, if only my laptop were a bit younger and stronger and healthier. Then I could carry Oblivion around with me the way I did Morrowind.

  4. Marmot says:

    Reading through this the hundreth time, I am constantly reminded of why I link this to people who say something about this kind of addictions. One of the best and funniest posts on the whole website, honestly :)

  5. I’m addicted to this.

    I hate you now.

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