Mass Effect 3 EP38: Make it Stop!

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Nov 20, 2012

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 168 comments

Link (YouTube)

Thanks so much to Glitch, who apparently forgot that Sunday night was Spoiler Warning night and sent Josh all the Steam messages while we were recording, because he wanted to play a videogame. WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR VIDEOGAMES BECAUSE WE’RE BUSY WITH MASS EFFECT 3!

Also note at 19:10 – the elusive left-handed salute!


From The Archives:

168 thoughts on “Mass Effect 3 EP38: Make it Stop!

  1. Collin says:

    Almost to the end! Then we can forget this game happened.

    1. TheJeremy says:

      Glad to hear the game’s being polished off this week. Another one might have sent this series’ remaining audience reeling with plot-induced nausea.

    2. Alexander The 1st says:

      “Josh Viel – the Worst at Videogames”

      “Shamus Young – Used all the ammo”

      Taking a guess we might have a delay up to and including next week for the game.

  2. Amnestic says:

    I love you guys poking fun at the England roads. You so ‘merican!

    Kaiden: “You know, I’ve never been to London.”
    Shepard: “ME NEITHER.”

    Oh gods the Comm’s guy. He can connect you to everyone. Miranda? Can do. Samara? Done. Jack? In a moment. Do the writers have any idea how common the name ‘Jack’ is? I bet there’s like ten Jacks just outside the Comm station.

    The turret section? Entirely pointless. Your actions have no effect. I deliberately didn’t fire a single shot during this and after a few moments they let me through to Liara. It is literally filler of the worst kind and your choice to fire or not doesn’t matter.

    1. newdarkcloud says:

      I thought it was kinda funny that Josh had only one person to call while I had upwards of 10 or 11 in my playthrough. God, it’s like he just rushed through the main story or something.

      And fuck that turret section. How dare it interrupt mah Garrus and mah sweer Liara lovin’.

      Wait, are you saying we could just sit there for that section? REALLY!? RAGE! FUCK YOU, BIOWARE!

    2. You don’t even have to fire a shot? That makes it even worse!

    3. Din Adn says:

      Wait, Jack? Dead Jack? He can connect to the world of the dead? Oh my god.

      [OK, fine, I know that’s only if you save her. I was being snarky for the fun of it.]

      1. Jokerman says:

        One thing about Jack, her romance ending dialogue is absolutely awful.

    4. Artur CalDazar says:

      That comms station supposedly had to be crowbared in when one of the writers got unhappy that a large collection of characters that could be very important to the player would be entirely ignored during this ending part.

      1. Zombie says:

        At least they didn’t just ignore them, or we would be even madder. Better late and crowbared in then not there at all. For some stuff. Like the communicator. Not some of the other stuff. You know what I mean.

        1. Sabrdance (MatthewH) says:

          I kinda wonder why everyone’s back in their black Loyalty Outfits, but I’m guessing that’s actually the blue filter.

      2. Amnestic says:

        It could’ve been done better. Like, I dunno, having them be a part of the ending.

        This actually comes back to what I was saying about Thessia as well. Earth? Doesn’t feel like a homeworld. One mission and we’re done. It’s a long mission, mind you, but it’s still just one mission. We seem to spend more time on Rannoch.

        Why not give us optional missions? Have Jack’s biotic team need support. Have Jacob rescuing civilians. Have us save Cortez if he survived. Have Samara identify a key Reaper human processing facility which she needs Shepard’s help destroying. Why would Shepard do this? Besides the fact that because people are inherently good, because it’ll make her rush to the Conduit easier. Bam, done. If you want, you can skip the quests (or miss them entirely if the people in question are DEEEEEAAAAAAADDDDDDD) and your last mission will be that noticeably more difficult – a reflection of the fact that you lost your support, that you didn’t bring these people together and that Shepard (and by extension humanity) alone is weaker for it.

        I understand that games have release dates and you can’t always add that stuff in, but Earth – and Thessia, and Sur’kesh, and Palaven, and the CITADEL! – needed some serious love in this game which they never received.

        1. Sabrdance (MatthewH) says:

          Guys, stop having good ideas for how the ending of this game could have been emotionally satisfying and creatively compelling. You’re ruining the Artistic Integrity!

      3. Alexander The 1st says:

        I can think of one reason the comm section works out well though.

        If you think about it, Shepard’s famous/infamous.

        There may be a thousand Jacks, but there’s only one Jack that Shepard’s been part of a squad with – at least, that’s still alive. If she’s still alive.

        It would be like Will from Pirates of the Carribean: Dead’s Man Chest, when he’s asked about Jack Sparrow:

        Cutler Beckett: “I’m looking for a pirate named Jack.”

        Will: “You’ll have to be more specific – I’ve met quite a few Jacks at Tortuga.”

        Cutler: “Jack Sparrow.”

        Will: “More specific.”

        Cutler: “…*Captain* Jack Sparrow.”

        Will: “Oh! Why didn’t you say so?”

        The comm’s guy probably has a whitelist of characters Shepard has met, just as he does for Anderson, and probably for Kaiden and Vega, even.

        1. newdarkcloud says:

          Agreed. It doesn’t seem logic breaking at all, especially when you consider everything else in ME3.

          While I would have liked your friends and teammates to play a more direct role in the ending, this is definitely a nice touch.

      4. newdarkcloud says:

        Y’know. The fact that a writer HAD to fight for that kinda pisses me off.

    5. False Prophet says:

      I’ve been to London, and I know the red phoneboxes aren’t 12 feet tall. Is that one sized for krogan tourists?

    6. anaphysik says:

      Anderson: “We can’t call in air support; we’ve got some sort of interference.”
      Shepard: “Hold on, just let me go talk to that magic comms guy back there.”

  3. Greg says:

    You know, that idea about doing your goodbyes while fighting back to back with each of them would have been an AWESOME character ending, while reinforcing the idea that this is the end of everything, that everyone’s against the wall but going down swinging. But then, it would have broken up the rhythm of the game that you’ve commented on before: go somewhere, talk to someone for a few minutes, shoot some dudes for half an hour with nothing but occasional banter that you can’t respond to, then come back and talk. Very separate, those two modes of gameplay; splicing them together here at the end might have done even more to get people to say, “Why wasn’t the rest of the game like this?”

    Also, on the comm thing: I didn’t find it ridiculous that the comm guy knew everyone’s name and frequency, because that’s easily handwaved by saying the guy has Shepard’s personnel files to work with. No, what I found ridiculous was that, in the middle of this war for the fate of the universe, EVERYONE happens to be out of combat and standing right next to a full-body hologram capturing comm system. Aren’t most of them supposed to be, you know, fighting? Or flying? Or etc.? That’s what broke immersion for me in that particular spot.

    1. Yeti says:

      That and the fact that teleoperators have been irrelevant since, what, like, the 70s?

    2. Yeah, I’m actually going to be “that guy” and go against what Rutskarn was saying there. The times I remember the most with my squad was when I was just talking with them, not fighting with them.

      1. Speaking of fighting beloved characters, how awesome would it have been if the reporter on the Citadel had been in London, covering the war, and you got to punch her again?

        1. Daemian Lucifer says:

          – Commander,I hear that you are about to go to the citadel and destroy the reapers.
          – I had enough of your rumors*PUNCH*

      2. Greg says:

        That’s fine, that’s totally true: during combat, they’re just 2 NPCs that follow you around and occasionally make snide remarks. I just think that the “breather” went on for far too long and felt too contrived, and emphasizing the fact that everyone was fighting for their lives, and getting any time with your companions required you to grab it where you can, would have gone a long way towards keeping the feel of the push towards resolution going.

      3. Fleaman says:

        My memories of fighting in Mass Effect boil down to Garrus being dead all the time and ignoring my squadmates because I was distracted by all the enemies who were everywhere.

    3. Deadpool says:

      These conversations should have happened on the ship, while en route or some such.

      Then we can have the usual, cheesy, scenes where you fight together for a while, then your partner goes “I’ll hold them off, you go on without me!” dance with your squad.

      Maybe a bit cliched, but it would have WORKED…

      1. Sabrdance (MatthewH) says:

        I think these conversations should have happened later. Or at least the speech which will lead off next episode. This is, to the extent this game has an emotional climax, it. And yet the game goes on for another 2 hours. I would have prefered something much more like the ending of ME2. I liked the suicide mission, and it would have helped us feel like the squad mattered, rather than just being those 2 guys who are always with us.

  4. Yeti says:

    Game: Tell me when you are ready and we’ll start the assault

    Me: glad to know the Space Navy thingy will politely wait for Commander Shepard to use the bathroom, replay pokemon red on her gameboy advance, and stop by Chipotle before capitalizing on this one small opportunity of saving the galaxy from complete destruction.


    Me: Let me guess: more work. Can’t we just get this over with?

    Game: something something interference

    Me: yep

    Shepard: HOOYHA

    Me: LMAO

    1. Tse says:

      Wouldn’t Shepard need to buy some ChipotlAway as well? Or are her chances so low that she wouldn’t care about bloody laundry?
      South Park reference

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        The shepard doesnt need it.She has the golden rectum of the gods.

    2. X2Eliah says:

      Yeah, the “hooya” bit practically made me facepalm. It was just so out-of-place for the Shepard I was playing, and. well, instantly it made me think of games like gears of war and halo. In the worst possible sense.


  5. The Hokey Pokey says:

    If the Lord of the Rings ended the way Mass Effect 3 ended, Frodo would have been visited by the spirit of Sam’s Gaffer after the ring melted. The spirit would explain that he created Sauron to destroy the good races of Middle Earth with orcs in order to prevent them from being killed by orcs. Then the remaining members of the fellowship, including Sam but not Frodo, would be teleported to the Lonely Mountain right before the whole world exploded for no reason. It would then cut to Fred Savage asking Peter Falk to tell him another story about the Baggins.

    As for KOTOR’s headgear, I actually forgot what my character looked like without it by the time the big reveal happened.

    1. Sozac says:

      I remember all those weird antenna and such. Truth is, I would wear the gaudiest head gear as long as they do the right thing and get rid of it during cutscenes. I forgot whether that was an option in ME3. I don’t remember wearing head gear in that one, so maybe not. I remember in 2 I wore the cool eye thing so I could be like Garrus, also, DA: O had some funny headgear, especially the wizards, But they would take it off.

      1. Wedge says:

        Yeah DA:O had the “omit headgear during cutscenes”, which KotOR needed badly.

      2. The Hokey Pokey says:

        Yeah, KOTOR needed invisible headgear pretty badly. Especially because of how they chose to present the big reveal. For me, it played out like this:

        1. Mattias42 says:

          I’m gonna go against the flow here and say that I loved the headgear in the KOTOR games. (1 & 2, the MMORPG is completely uninteresting to me.)

          They had this fantastic retro futuristic look and who wouldn’t want real time augmented reality glasses that help you in whatever it is you do?

          Hell, if I had a pair, I would never take ’em of!

      3. burningdragoon says:

        There was a no helmets option in ME3, though it sometimes had its own problems

        1. LunaticFringe says:

          Don’t forget the hilarious crotch shot of female Shepherd in ME2 if you get the Kasumi DLC dress then talk to Garrus.

    2. czhah says:

      Wouldn’t it be more akin to the Lord of the Rings ending with Sauron in the form of some random side character that happened to die offering you three choices:

      1) Destroying Sauron, the Ring and the orcs, but also taking out the elves (since orcs are corrupt elves) and Nàºmenoreans, who happen to be partially of elven descent, in addition to rendering the other rings of power powerless and the eruption of Mount Doom taking out most of the Middle-Earths biosphere.

      2) Frodo using the Ring and successfully bending it to his will, despite the earlier narrative spending extended periods of time explaining how this is impossible, remarking “I guess Saruman was right after all” and making the orcs rebuild Middle-Earth. Somehow he avoids being corrupted by the ring.

      3) Frodo jumping in to Mount Doom, dispersing his essence to all living beings on Middle-Earth, and giving orcs an “understanding” of other beings.. somehow. Apparently this makes everyone live happily ever after and could not have been accomplished without earlier orc-driven genocide for reasons that aren’t adequately explained.

  6. Carnadan says:

    I cannot get over how ridiculous that yellow and pink armor looks against the blue and grey of the setting.

  7. sarapickell says:

    Beginning of next episode…

    Bioware: Look, it’s your squad! The people you’ve sweat and blood tears with. The people you’ve come to care about. In this room are the people we’ve worked the hardest to make sure you felt a real connection with… And a guy in a beret.

    1. TJtheman5 says:

      A beret is roughly equivalent to actual characterization and meaningful time with a character. Bonus points if it’s at a jaunty angle.

      1. anaphysik says:

        Also eyepatches.

        I plan to write a minor character into my story who has both a beret and an eyepatch, but I’m not sure it could contain such immense awesome without bursting.

  8. IFS says:

    I kind of want to see you guys do a Spoiler Warning of DA:O, KOTOR, or Jade Empire at some point after this, if only to show what kind of game Bioware used to make. I know why you won’t do one of those (various technical problems and the deep roads if I remember correcctly), but it would be nice to see a contrast between ME3 and one of their old games.

    1. Sozac says:

      All the talk about old Bioware got me thinking about the same thing. I remember they don’t want to do Dragon Age Origins because of length (Deep Roads are too deep for Shamus), but a KOTOR or Jade Empire playthrough would be good to watch. I thought they said they were doing Skyrim next though.

    2. Amnestic says:

      You know, I’m googleing around and I can’t actually find a reason why they’re not doing Jade Empire other than “we’re doing other games”. No Deep Roads, no technical issues (that are mentioned?).

      Might be because they spoiled the big spoiler in one of their previous Spoiler Warning episodes and a lot of the story builds up to it so that’s sort of ruined but…eh. Maybe they’ll consider doing a one-shot episode in between seasons on it – assuming they have the next few planned ahead of time of course.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        We need to make the Rutskarn do a lets play of ehnanced edition.

      2. Jokerman says:

        I fully support a playthrough of Jade Empire, wouldnt take long either – dont remember that being a long game, or ever dying….ever.

        1. Cody211282 says:

          The game is maybe at most 15 hours with all the side quests done. As for not dying, for some reason me and the PC controls had a problem that usually ended with me dodging into about 10 guys then getting stun locked to death.

          To put this in perspective, I made it all the way through DA:O without dying once to get that damn achievement, but I had a hard time with all the chapter 2 stuff in Jade Empire.

          1. Jokerman says:

            Normally Josh ignores sidequests, i do wonder how quick the game would be just going for the story missions.

            I found some parts of DA a total nightmare, I played Jade Empire when it first came out on Xbox – with a controller, which i guess would of been better.

            1. Tse says:

              The elephant demons are much harder on PC. They turn on a dime, which makes dodging them consistently almost impossible.

      3. Josh says:

        The main reason Jade Empire isn’t on the table is because I’ve never gotten more than an hour into it because the PC control scheme is so bad.

        1. Rasha says:

          Use gamepad? Rebind keys? Practice the bad controls? Cuftbert needs to hit the land of mythical legends someday…

        2. Jokerman says:

          Fair enough, Ive never played it on PC so cant comment on that. Its a shame though, it was a good game. Probably not worth playing if you know some of the spoilers though, which would be hard to avoid around these parts.

  9. Sozac says:

    Wow, Anderson said the part about choosing your squadmates really menacingly. I hope a certain twist from a better Bioware game isn’t about to happen.

    Seriously though, sort of on that note, why didn’t T.I.M. make some sort of kill-switch. Like, an emergency one, he could even tell Shepard about it, what is Shepard going to do if he put it right on his/her heart? Meh,whatever. I just hope they don’t drop the ball on DA3.

    1. Indy says:

      I think Anderson said it that way because whoever you took with you would die. But no.

    2. droid says:

      FemShep: Flatlander Woman
      MaleShep: Laputan machine

      Deus Ex taught me that if you don’t like someone try random obscure phrases until you find their killswitch.

    3. Daemian Lucifer says:

      “Seriously though, sort of on that note, why didn't T.I.M. make some sort of kill-switch.”

      Because he wanted the shepard to be exactly the same.Except for the scars.And the enhanced strength,immune system and what not.But exactly the same.

      1. Grudgeal says:

        And as we all know, subtly planting an off-switch/small explosive/nanite exponential growth toggle in Shepard’s pacemaker or the base of the skull or the pancreas will lead to serious personality disorders.

        1. newdarkcloud says:

          Nope. That won’t do anything to Sheppard because she’s just that bad ass.

          If you want to cripple her, all you need to do is have SOME KID DIE!!!!

    4. Jokerman says:

      “I just hope they don't drop the ball on DA3.”

      They cant drop what is already on the floor….

      1. Cody211282 says:

        That assumes they still have the ball. From what I say Act 3 of DA2 was nothing short of stabbing the ball so noone else could play with it.

        1. Jokerman says:

          I do hear most of the team from Origins is still intact, every ounce of me hopes they can get it back together, loved the first game.

          1. IFS says:

            Yeah I have high hopes and pitifully low expectations for DA3, who knows they could redeem themselves though, at least for DA2 the majority called them out on the games flaws as opposed to the general reaction to ME2.

  10. newdarkcloud says:

    Who else though those Steam notifications throughout the episode were from not turning off Steam themselves and not at all as a result of Josh forgetting to?

    Because I was confused for a second when a turned Steam off and they were still happening.

    1. swenson says:

      Yes, oh my word. I kept checking Steam and there was nothing there. Drove me crazy!

  11. Deadpool says:

    Why is that telephone booth the ONLY thing with bullet holes in there?

    1. Inspector Spacetime just came from stopping an alien-possessed Al Capone and hadn’t had a chance to spiff up the ol’ girl before being whisked away to another adventure where he kills Reapers off-camera with a clever ruse involving tea, a protonic inversion matrix, and skillful use of a pack of ordinary playing cards.

  12. Irridium says:

    Shamus, don’t you mean “Illusive” left-hand salute? Remember, “Illusive” man.

    Also, fun fact, according to the Leviathan DLC, Harbinger is the king of Reapers, so to speak. He was the first “successful” one, and I guess leads all of them. And in Mass Effect 1, Sovereign signaled the return of the Reapers.

    I repeat, Sovereign signaled the reapers returning, and Harbinger is the king of Reapers.

    Methinks Bioware should check a dictionary once in a while.

    1. Greg says:

      That has bugged me for so long. Such a little mistake, but it’s really jarring once you think about it.

    2. Sabrdance (MatthewH) says:

      Oh, that is hilarious. I hadn’t noticed.

    3. Daemian Lucifer says:

      – You didnt have a dictionary.
      – ……YES.

    4. Jokerman says:

      That mental, how the hell did i not notice this….

    5. Even says:

      The part where it all goes broken was that they were never supposed to be their actual names, but rather titles given to them by organics. Sovereign’s real name was Nazara as Legion points out in ME2, yet it’s like the dialogue never happened when even the Reapers themselves keep using the titles instead. And as far as we know, Harbinger was never a title cooked up by the Normandy crew or anyone else who may know of its existence.

      If it’s a remnant title from a past cycle, the question arises why would it bother carrying it around.

    6. Newbie says:

      Except Illusive still works. Their dictionary skills are perfectly fine.

      EDIT: By that I mean I think the joke is he’s always a hologram projection and therefore always using illusion.

    7. anaphysik says:

      Gosh, I tweeted about this just yesterday:

      Good news: I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s been annoyed for a long time about that.

      Bad news: I tweeted. TWITTTTTER!!!!! *shakes fist*

  13. Re: The “make it stop” message.

    If one assumes that we are fighting Space Cthulhu, there’s a Lovecraft trope where he often had stories that were basically found journals or pages that came down to “there’s something after me, oh no, here it comes AIEEEEEE!” It’s ridiculous, even for the era of the fountain pen and typewriter, and I doubt Bioware was that aware of what they were doing and trying to homage Mr. Lovecraft.

    Still, it’s an unintentional parallel with the elder god genre.

    1. IFS says:

      To be fair to Lovecraft his stories were very frequently written either as someone chronicling their own descent into madness, or writing either as an investigator or survivor after the fact. Sure some of his stories had people writing their demise while it was happening, or even afterwards, but overall he was pretty good about that trope.

    2. Bryan says:

      “Perhaps he was dictating?”

      1. Sabrdance (MatthewH) says:

        I have just decided that in the future, everyone is illiterate. Think about it, we never see them writing. Their pads have tiny keyboards. They all just dictate their notes.

        I’m not even sure they can actually read it back, or do they have to have the pad read it for them?

    3. Grudgeal says:

      For those of you with the inclination, tvtropes has a page on it called “Apocalyptic Log”. Quite a lot of the examples are ludicrous, especially one put in a “The Shining” reference where a woman was writing in her diary when someone knocked at her door, and apparently took the time to write down that someone was knocking at her door, discovered it was an axe murderer, and returned to her writing desk describing how he was chopping down her door in an attempt to murder her.

    4. anaphysik says:

      I thought it seemed vaguely acceptable here because they seem to be describing the process of indoctrination or something, not getting killed. (And then the end implies forthcoming suicide.)

  14. Athatar says:

    To be honest, I loved this section. I hated the rest of the ending, but this section I loved. Now, I enjoyed the goodbyes, and I loved the fact they picked London as the location (The easy way out would have been some North American city) but what got me was the overheard conversations. Take the guys huddled around the radio listening in on the sit reps, or, even better, the medic trying to explain how to look after a casuality to a civilian. If you listen to the entire conversation, it quickly goes down hill and she ends up committing suicide. Now, I know this is a cheap trick to show how dire everything is but gosh darn did it work. Especially at the end when the medic goes quiet at the end.

    1. Mike S. says:

      I completely agree. Except for the misstep with the turret section, I found this to be one of the most emotionally involving parts of the game, and all the horrific reports and dialogs taking place around Shepard helped establish the atmosphere. (That note calling for volunteers to use emergency vehicles as suicidal distractions, drawing Reaper fire so that others might escape…) The character moments just felt right, as everyone girds for a fight without the luxury of hope. Whatever could be nitpicked afterwards, I’m always completely absorbed while it’s going on.

    2. swenson says:

      Yeah, this was a really great sequence for the most part, which is why I was so let down by the ending. Even with the silly bits (why can the comms guy just call up EVERYONE? Shouldn’t they be busy fighting? Why is there that line of guys standing by Vega? Why is Primarch Victus there?), it still just works really well. The little touches (the distraction vehicles, the radio calling in the percent lost from different groups (and everyone’s reaction to the 100% loss), etc.) particularly helped.

  15. Gruhunchously says:

    London is under attack from hostile alien life forms, and yet neither The Doctor nor UNIT are anywhere to be seen. Couldn’t Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart’s great descendant show up try and five-rounds-rapid the Reapers to death? Maybe he did and we just didn’t see him/her.

    I actually kind of like the London setting, actually. I know that it gets a lot of complaints about being a disheveled eyesore, but I think it could be a lot worse. I really liked the way that the Citadel beam cast it’s blue light all over the place and served as a persistent landmark hanging above everything else that was happening. Kind of like that other Citadel beam from Half Life 2: Episode 2.

    So yeah, I gave the whole environment a pass because a bit of it reminded me of Half Life 2.

    1. Tam O'Connor says:

      It’s a little known fact that Shepard’s father’s maiden name was Stewart.

      (Because Shepard’s mother’s name is also Shepard, therefore…)

      1. Amnestic says:

        Speaking of Shepard’s mother, why couldn’t the Comm officer connect me to her? :/

  16. Sneeks says:

    Huh, has Shepherd ever said “Hooyah” at any time during the other games? I sure can’t remember any. Sometimes I just forget that she’s supposed to be in the military.

    1. Cody211282 says:

      Yep this is a first, and the sad thing is “Hooah” is what the army uses, since Shep is a marine she should use “Oorah.”

      I find it rather funny that whenever Bioware tries to insert any sort of military flare they sorta screw it up.

      Or they do it different up there in Canada so I could be completely wrong with that as well.

      1. Amnestic says:

        If we’re getting into that sort of thing, Major Coats (Left handed salute guy) sounded English if I’m remembering correctly. We have a different salute to the US forces. “Major” is an army rank, so his salute should’ve had palm facing forwards, rather than palm facing down.

        1. False Prophet says:

          A lot of this is academic since we’re talking about a fictional military organization two centuries in the future, but playing along…

          I think the militaries of we Commonwealth folks have very different protocols for saluting–you’re only supposed to salute officers wearing headdress, otherwise you show respect to officers verbally or by coming to attention, but not physically saluting. (The salute is directed at the officer’s commission, granted by the monarch and represented by the headdress, not the officer themself.)

          1. anaphysik says:

            Not *all* of it is speculation, of course. Back in the first game we had this wondrous thing called the “Codex” which actually seemed to matter.


  17. newdarkcloud says:


    1. anaphysik says:

      Oh, right, you play on PS3. So let me just say “BAH! Try wearing some headphones whilst playing through that, ya whinger!”

      1. newdarkcloud says:


        You have my sympathies.

  18. rayen says:

    okay i know this isn’t a topic or anything, but was i the only one who noticed creepy eyed background guy at 3:52? Seriously, Mind screwed for the rest of the episode. He’s looking into my soul…

  19. Spammy says:

    Thanks, Rutskarn, for reminding me of the horrible disappointment that was the Conduit series. So much potential. Gone to waste. Breaks my heart.

    1. So much motion sickness… Wiimote… worst FPS mouselook substitute ever invented…

      1. Spammy says:

        I meant more along the lines of how they had all the pieces in place to make their conspiracy inspired mystery fueled plot work, but completely dropped the ball. And how it’s clear from The Conduit 2 that they had less of an idea of what kind of game they were going to make than Bioware did when making ME2. I thought the controls were alright, but then again I approached the Wii coming from being a PC and DS gamer, so the motion controls never bothered me as much as I think they bothered people used to duel analogs.

        1. For me, I had to rest the Wiimote on one knee while I sat, since (it seemed) the effects of the Earth’s rotation would jiggle the controls just enough to make it look like I was watching an FPS in an earthquake.

          As for the story, I found it a bit too magical-tech for my tastes.

          It was one more game I thought really didn’t belong on the Wii, or if they insisted on coding it, they should have worked out a better control system.

  20. The only “Lola” reference that pops into my head is the song of the same name by the Kinks, which kind of puts the whole character creation system for this game into a more complicated place than before…

  21. How hilarious would it be if a husk in the turret section had the label of “The Queen?”

    If you pay for extra DLC, she has a large, feathered hat and a handbag which she hits your troops with.

  22. Deadyawn says:

    So yeah, I haven’t actually played the game from this point forward. I went up to talk to Wrex and the game crashed and I just never really felt like going back to finish it knowing how it was going to end. Hopefully its been long enough that the end isn’t going to completely crush my soul.

    You know, I think I’ve had more fun watching you guys play this game than I had playing it myself.

  23. Sabrdance (MatthewH) says:

    This ending was good the first few times, but it has not aged well for me.

    These goodbyes provide closure for the player, but we still have 2 hours to go. Why are we all standing around rather than putting up a real fight? Why are we going to send 3 people up the middle instead of the whole team? Why is Liara in charge of the wounded? She’s not that kind of doctor.

    This should have been the actual end of the game -I’ll go one further, I think Liara’s gift should have been the final scene of the game. Because now we have a future. Gears of War 3 had a better ending than this.

    1. Daemian Lucifer says:

      “Why is Liara in charge of the wounded? She's not that kind of doctor.”

      Dont you know anything about tv/games?Whenever someone is a doctor,they are automatically a medical doctor.

      1. 4th Dimension says:

        And has a Doctorate in physics . . . and chemistry . . . and biology . . . and computer sciences . . . and . . .

        1. Gruhunchously says:

          Remember back in Mass Effect 1 when Liara, after being asked to identify the Rachni on Noveria, said something along the lines of “Sorry, I’m an archaeologist,xenobiology isn’t my field.”? Yeah.

          1. Since becoming the Shadow Broker, Liara is now intimately familiar with the squishy bits required to keep one alive.

            What’s going unsaid is that she’s checking the wounded for anyone with contracts on their heads and she’s finishing them off.

          2. Lame Duck says:

            Liara did have the First Aid skill in Mass Effect 1 though, so I think she’s supposed to have some skill and experience dealing with injuries.

        2. newdarkcloud says:

          Considering the life-spans of Asari, that’s not far-fetched (even if she only has one degree).

          Besides, how much expertise do you need to jab a needle of Medi-Gel into somebody?

          As for hacking, hell if I know.

      2. Paul Spooner says:

        “…I have a doctorate, it’s not the same thing! When you have a doctorate you cant help people, you just stand around and you’re useless!”
        If only there was a way to put her unusually thin wrists to good use.

        1. anaphysik says:

          My dad (engineering PhD) tells me his mum used to introduce him as “a doctor, but not the kind that helps people.”

  24. AJax says:

    As someone who’s never played ME3, I really genuinely enjoyed that final good bye scene especially with Garrus. That was really good.

    Then Bioware threw in a turret section…

  25. LunaticFringe says:

    So I’m not sure if I should bring this up, if it breaks your guidelines on religion Shamus just give me the head’s up: I find it interesting that during the Garrus conversation you’re basically a deitist, or you at least assume there’s some kind of afterlife. This after that Ashley conversation in ME1 where you basically sum up your religious views to her. So what, did all the atheist Shepherds change their minds randomly (and now I just realized the even weirder implications of Shepherd being dead for two years)? It isn’t hard to give a hint of player choice and a chance at characterization in this situation Bioware. Just give a ‘Kaylee’ option: “Screw that, I’m going to live.” or some such.

    1. Shamus says:

      I noticed that too. It’s an odd thing to throw in here. It opens up all kinds of questions about what religion is like for the other species. Too bad the game never explored that, so there’s nothing to hang this on.

      And yeah, I AM A DEITIST is on odd thing to put in Shep’s mouth after you could specifically NOT be one in ME1. Is Garrus humoring you? Are you humoring him? Never mind! *cue touching music*

      And then turret section.

      1. LunaticFringe says:

        Well I know the turians have some kind of spiritual system similar to Shinto (which makes Garrus understanding the concept of heaven even weirder), and Javik basically confirms that the Asari’s ‘goddess’ was actually just the Protheans on Thessia, but that’s about it.

        But hey, could’ve been worse. Bioware could’ve done something boneheaded like have horrible Adam and Eve in Eden symbolism in the ending to appear deep…oh wait.

        1. What’s worse is that in Space Opera, you can hand-wave religion by just tossing out some kind of “the galaxy is a big place, so who knows?” kind of thing. For example, there’s this scene with Captain Picard concerning Data asking what death is.

          Another familiar thing is to cite alien religious beliefs, which both expands the lore and bypasses any gripes one might have about actual (that is, one with real-life adherents) religion, like this scene in Babylon-5. Another scene from the earlier in the series involved a week-long festival of religious exchange between the alien races (along with other plot stuff) where this was Earth’s presentation to the alien delegates of its “dominant” religious beliefs.

          In a way, by not doing something like that, ME3 sort of bucked its trend of using well-worn sci-fi/space opera traditions.

          1. LunaticFringe says:

            Wait, Mass Effect 3 is a space opera?

            Babylon 5’s a great example of doing alien religions well. They’re fairly similar to earth religions but still are contextualized in alien culture. I remember the Centauri festival which is basically a Roman-esque celebration of gluttony, but it’s contextualized in Centauri culture (the festival began in a terrible war as a way to count their blessings). We never really get any contextualization for the majority of Mass Effect’s religions, except maybe Thane’s spiritualism.

            1. anaphysik says:

              I also like that Babylon 5’s religions are encountered primarily via *ambassadors* and cultural attaches. You know, the kind of people who would legitimately be expected to explain complex cultural phenomena to others. It’s rather less believable when some random person you picked up can say ‘well, we believe blah blah blah, and our government is like bleh bleh bleh, and our history of foreign relations is bluh bluh bluh’ and so on. For that you really need either a dedicated diplomat, academic, or encyclopedia (which is one reason I certainly don’t mind the use of a codex over infodumps from characters; if I read Wikipedia now, you’d bet I’d read space-Wikipedia in the future ignoring the fact that the ME Codex is actually much more like space-Encyclopedia Brittanica).

              EDIT: Oops, said the TwentySided r-word.

        2. swenson says:

          The turians believe in spirits and I think have some sort of an idea that when groups of people get together and are closely linked, that sort of creates a spirit to go along with them, but the rest of their beliefs aren’t really gone into. I don’t see a reason why they couldn’t also believe in an afterlife.

          1. LunaticFringe says:

            Well I’m being a bit humancentric here, but most religions centered around connections between spirits within reality typically don’t have a concept similar to heaven. That’s not to say they don’t have a concept of an afterlife, but they’re typically in the Greek fashion of basically being Purgatory at best and Hades at worst. Regardless it’s still really weird seeing Garrus suddenly start talking about spirituality considering he has never shown any indication of it before. It’s like Chris and how he dislikes the aliens using English metaphors and phrases. An alien fully understanding a major cultural and religious concept like heaven is just silly to me, especially due to their own cultural and religious development.

            I mean, put it this way: most humans today don’t understand each others’ concept of an afterlife (what do you know of the Hindu or Sikh concept of the afterlife for example) so having aliens fully understand it despite having even less of a cultural context is silly.

          2. Sabrdance (MatthewH) says:

            This one didn’t particularly bother me – One is not required to be religious, or even specifically Christian, to say “See you in Hell.”

            Though it probably does require a degree of latent religiousity in the wider culture, which also isn’t shown in the game.

            1. LunaticFringe says:

              Yes I agree, if there was a broader scope and more detail regarding alien religions it would work much more successfully.

  26. Daemian Lucifer says:

    The visor may be goofy,but at least it covers the awful face.

    1. It’s also angled upwards, which is where her eyes disturbingly seem to spend most of their time.

      I swear this Shepard knows what the inside of her skull looks like by now.

    2. Jokerman says:

      Weirdly i started to get used to it, even though Josh might of edited it a little. Although mostly during the time the FOV was low i was thinking this…i dunno.

      1. Josh says:

        Fun fact, I did edit a face after the first week to look pretty much the same as the ME2 face with the intention of editing it into the save file (yay PC mod tools!), but we decided not to use it because the derp-face was so funny looking.

  27. Daemian Lucifer says:

    OMG!Jason cuting my arm of!It hrts!Gah!Oh god it hrts!Stop it!Sht he cut my other arm 2!Omg lamerz!

  28. Daemian Lucifer says:

    Does the cortana have a camel toe?If not,she isnt more sexified than the edi.Yes,Im constantly bringing this up,but its such an unbelievably stupid thing that I have to.

      1. Amnestic says:

        I’m not sure if this is a question which can’t be asked enough or shouldn’t ever need to be asked but why are they sexualising a hologram? How does that make any sense in universe? Does she do those modifications herself? Are they just graphics updates and we’re meant to assume she’s always looked like that? Is it being done for Master Chief who basically appears to be completely a-sexual at this point (and why not, the dude’s a genetically engineered super soldier, why would you let them retain sex drive?)?

        1. Raygereio says:

          I think the change in appearance is ignored and in-universe she has always looked like that.
          Halo wouldn’t be the first series where the next game had a big change in graphics technology and/or style and expected us to completely ignore it.

          As for the real-world why. This horse is dead, but it’s the same reason why EDI has the body she has, or why Shep, Liara and Ashley all got boobjobs in between games.
          One part is marketing. As far as I know, the primary demographic that’s targeted are still teenage boys. But most importantly: The videogame industry is filled with rather pathetic manchildren.

        2. LunaticFringe says:

          To be fair Cortana’s pretty much what I expect if you asked a sexually frustrated programmer to make a hologram…well that or this.

      2. swenson says:

        Isn’t that an impossibility in Halo anyway? I thought AIs couldn’t change their appearances unless specifically programmed to do so.

      3. anaphysik says:

        I’m one of those weirdies whose first thought when they look at that second image is ‘her head is pretty.’ Then it takes me a few moments to even notice gratuitous naked boobies :/

        Don’t worry, my programmers are still tweaking my code to improve my ‘young male’ simulated personality, so there’s still hope yet, brahs!

    1. 4th Dimension says:

      That’s EDI not Cortana.

      1. Daemian Lucifer says:

        Yes.Which is why I said she is worse than halo 4.

  29. Daemian Lucifer says:

    “Pick your team well!Only 2 people.The rest will chill back here with me.”

    Say what you will about me2,but at least it utilized all the people you had on your ship,instead of having them dick around pointlessly.

    1. Jokerman says:

      I really dont understand why they did not push this mechanic for the end game here, bar that niggling thing called the story the suicide mission was one of Biowares better endgames….maybe there best, ive found most to be a slog…back on form with ME3 then.

      They should of pushed the idea to all the missions in ME3, just a few radio calls of the rest of your party members doing something would of been fine for the lesser missions.

      1. newdarkcloud says:

        That’s the thing. It was the only natural way to end the trilogy and practically wrote itself.

        I figured that was just HOW they were going to end the franchise, so I willed all of the negative attention the ending had received (because I saw that people were upset) out of existence. Then, I experienced it. I wish I hadn’t’ve given Bioware so much credit.

  30. Tuck says:

    I haven’t watched the ME season of Spoiler Warning, or played the game, but I’ve really noticed the graphical improvements in ME3 just from the youtube stills.

    So at least THAT improved over the series!

    1. newdarkcloud says:

      Graphics maybe, but with the same old animations, it looks weird.

  31. Viktor says:

    Shamus, the left-handed salute was at 19:15. You can’t see it that well, but it’s clear which hand the guy on the right of the screen is using.

  32. Even says:

    They sure love recycling that hook-arm-in-front-and-squeeze-hand-into-a-fist-menacingly animation wherever they can. On the same characters. Over two games.

    1. StashAugustine says:

      Gee, I dunnno. *scratches back of head* They do seem to reuse animations a lot.

      1. Gruhunchously says:

        I does seem to be a bit of a *dramatically pushes self away from table* problem, doesn’t it.

  33. Pants For Your Chest says:

    I miss Mumbles. :C

    SW is a sausagefest again. T_T

    1. Cody211282 says:

      We all miss mumbles, but I’m rather sure this season would have broken her.

      I do hope she comes back for future episodes though.

      1. Especially if they do Skyrim.

        I’d settle for them pre-recording her war stories about any Elder Scrolls game and just playing them like commercials every so often.

  34. RTBones says:

    While I didnt have too much of a problem with being able to go and talk to your team, the good-byes here just seemed forced to me. You’ve still got a bit of game to go. Yes, lets let the player talk to all his team because we have lots more inane combat to come and we cant interrupt that. Its like Bioware decided that you cant talk to your troops during a combat mission so good-byes must be HERE. I’d have been happier if Bioware had respected the characters the fans of the series had come to love and given them all story send-offs, like Mordin. That, however, would have required better writing.

    Then, of course, there is the fact that this is supposed to be London. Where are all the tourists with their A-Z’s? Where are all the LOOK RIGHT signs on the pavement at intersections? And whats with the distinct lack of pubs?

    1. newdarkcloud says:

      All the pubs closed on the day Some Kid (that’s what I have chosen as his canonical name) died. The sadness was too great to go on.

      1. Gruhunchously says:

        From this day forward, that kid will be mourned and remembered on the internationally appointed Some Kid Day.

      2. RTBones says:

        So, London pubs can survive the Blitz, England being in the Group of Death, or suffering a loss to *gasp* the US, but Some Kid snuffs it, and its all quits?

        1. Asimech says:

          Of course. Because Some Kid died. How can you not feel literally crippling sympathy for Some Kid? What kind of heartless monster could go to a pub once Some Kid is dead? Stand around near a vehicle with your military buddies while some other guys are shooting at the enemy sure, but not go to pubs.

          Of course you still have enough strength in you to remove all the pub signs etc.

          While gently weeping for Some Kid.

        2. False Prophet says:

          The Reapers’ brilliant strategy was to take out the ravens at the Tower of London first. After that, England was helpless.

  35. Lame Duck says:

    Wow, that determined/angry fist animation that Shepard did in the conversation with Vega looked completely ridiculous.

    1. gyfrmabrd says:

      It’s the Bioware-Fist. It dates back to at least KotOR, where it was Malak’s signature “I make an awkward gesture for emphasis” move. In ME1, Anderson used it every time he fantasized over “ancient weapon designs”, and a couple of minor characters used it too, because. Odds are, if you’re in a Bioware game, and someone tries to emphatically make a point, you’ll see this awkward fist animation.
      It’s the Wilhelm scream of motion captured fist gestures.
      (EDITed to hell and back because I am the worst at typing)

  36. Asimech says:

    Most, if not all, pedestrian crossings I saw in London had dotted lines on both sides.

    I could’ve sworn all the phone booths in London were away from buildings. They were usually on the road side of the pavement. I wouldn’t mention it otherwise, but it just looks so weird attached to a building and at a location where there shouldn’t be one (in front of delivery doors or something).

    Any Londoners able to tell me if some phone booths really are attached to buildings?

    1. False Prophet says:

      Yeah but these are some special 12 foot tall variety from the future. Since they’re obviously sized for krogan tourists, maybe they’re bolted to walls to better withstand the rage over the long distance fees to Tuchanka.

  37. microwaviblerabbit says:

    This entire ending sequence made me think of Starcraft 2, with the military going on about squads not reporting in, and how everyone was in battle armor grouped at a small forward base on the surface.

    Which in turn highlights all the strange things in Mass Effect 3, like how the soldiers aren’t slumped behind cover resting in between the endless waves, or how none of the defenders have suffered minor wounds and then been patched up. For all the talk of positions being overrun, and massive losses everything seems calm. All this is strange because Palaven did it better, and I was expecting London to take it up a level.

  38. anaphysik says:

    Lol at that piece of paper flying right through James’ head at 1:25.

  39. Peter H. Coffin says:

    The conversation with EDI would have been a *perfect* time to call back “We fight or we DIE!”

    1. Sabrdance (MatthewH) says:

      Yes! I’d forgotten that. But of course, so has the game.

  40. Jokerman says:

    Sylvia McNutcase looks exactly like a badass sniper in my only winning game of Xcom, 100+ kills in like 30 missions….survived from the start to the the last mission where she was killed at the end – so sad, love xcom :D

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