By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jun 17, 2008

Filed under: Game Reviews 24 comments

The uninstaller sat for five minutes, spinning the hard drive but not moving the progress bar. I gave up, killed the process, and just deleted it manually.

At least it was consistent, making sure to disappoint me each step of the way, all the way to the end.



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24 thoughts on “Hellgate:London

  1. facus says:

    Im still having issues removing traces of that game from my system. Theres also the fact that it required me to have the cd in the drive in order for the uninstall to even run.

  2. Zanfib says:

    Am I a bad person for laughing at this?

  3. Solka says:

    Yes, you are a bad person. But don’t worry, you’re not alone. I’m with you.

    Shamus.. it seems there have been about 4-5 negative updates about HG:L, and 1 semi-positive one. That game sure disapointed you.

    You should try to receive contribution to refund the 20 dollar you paid. I’m sure 100 of us can contribute 20 cents, and it’s way under-paying for the fun we had reading your articles!!!

  4. Ozymandias says:

    Reminds me of this Penny-arcade

  5. Heather says:

    I am sorry. Kids said you were having a rough time with the computer yesterday. Sent you an email, you should read it. :) (That means you have to open your email program and read it.;p) I love you. All is well, though most electric is not back on.

  6. folo4 says:

    weeell , family action will deter comments, but I digress.

    I just gave up on using the uninstallers and just shift-delete the game folder and run regcleaner to clean up the other mess.

  7. Deoxy says:

    At least it was consistent, making sure to disappoint me each step of the way, all the way to the end.


    But yes, I laughed, too. Thanks for your sacrifices for us. :-)

  8. Derek K says:

    Note that Shamus did say it was worth the $20 he paid for it….

    As bad as Hellgate is, it’s far from the worst game out there. I think it’s just, as has been beaten to death, it’s the worst game made by people with a brilliant track record that came so close in so many ways. But it’s still better than a lot of what you could get for $20. I mean, it’s not, like, Daikatana….

    Again, I’m the Hellgate apologist. ;) I paid $50 for the game, and I don’t regret it. I’ve paid $50 for much better games, but I’ve paid it for far worse as well. Even when it was annoying me, I never said “Jebus, I wasted my money.” I got a good 10-20 hours enjoyment out of it at the least, which is my barometer for “Worth it.” ;)

    Next I want Shamus to play Dwarf Fortress. *That* will show you what pain is.

  9. Dave says:

    On an unrelated note…the Hellgate:London article titles have some words run together in the RSS feed item title. Looks like a forced break doesn’t get converted to a space character.

    Not sure if this is WordPress or you, but I thought you’d want to know :)

  10. guy says:

    dwarf fortress is actually pretty fun if you read the wiki for an overveiw of what to do first. or if you have two acceptably competent people helping you over IRC (i was the helper in that case)

  11. folo4 says:

    we tried recommending dwarf fortress multiple times over the years.

    What makes us think that Shamus will play that game in such a state ( eheh, alpha ) ?

    the IRC channel is nice, but if no DF-based topic available to debate, things will get weird fast.

  12. Gahaz says:

    Heather, you comment came from left field and I am now confused! (O.0)

    On the subject at hand, it seems Hellgate keeps coming back from the dead to hit you with one more encumbrance, much like the zombies in it! Eh…eh…eh? No one? Blast, must work on my lounge lizard jokes.

  13. Ian says:

    @Ozymandias: I was actually thinking more along the lines of this Penny Arcade when I read the post. ;)

  14. Zukhramm says:

    In a way, this feels like my feelings for turning off the computer. Nowadays, the on/off button on the computer doesn’t pure kill it like it used to do, no, instead it starts the standard “exit windows” process. I mean, even if it does all other things wrong, a computer should be able to kill itself, without hassle, when I tell it to.

  15. Shinjin says:

    Dwarf Fortress is an awesome game if you really like city builders *and* have the time and patience for a steep learning curve. I played it extensively about a year ago for a couple of months without any graphics packs and had a blast.

    I’d love to pick it up again, but suspect that I’d have to go through that learning curve again.

  16. neolith says:

    You can’t uninstall evil.

  17. Dev Null says:

    Kinda bugs me too Zukhramm, though I can understand some of the reasons for it. At least most machines these days will still be actually turned off if you hold the power button down for 3-4 seconds, but it feels weird to have to ask it nicely. What do I do if it says “no”?

  18. Poet says:

    I don’t really want to write out a full paragraph of “Ha ha ha!” so can you just assume I did while I wander off to laugh at this.
    Perhaps you should’ve called a priest over to give a hand, Shamus. An exorcism couldn’t do any harm (unless he gets holy water inside your case).
    And I’d bet realcashmoney that this is worse than Roxio at actually getting rid of completely.

  19. Veekie says:

    Next I want Shamus to play Dwarf Fortress. *That* will show you what pain is.

    Ahahahah, notion seconded, it’s painful, but fun, once you get the hang of it. For the full experience, do your first fort without the wiki’s help. I still remember all the water all over the place…

  20. wildweasel says:

    This reminds me of something I did with an Amiga emulator a while back. I was playing some generic dungeon crawling game, installed to a hard disk image off of some floppies. I decided I hated the game, so not only did I delete the game from the hard disk image, I also opened each installer floppy and formatted all of them. It was incredibly satisfying.

  21. Scourge says:

    Dev Null: What do I do if it says “no”?

    Pull the plug, remove the voltage.. if it still runs.. congratulations, the machines are taking over!

  22. Argon says:

    I have the exact same problem with Stronghold: Crusader. I got it to run 1 time, then it stops working. And now it won’t uninstall. I hate it.

  23. ArchU says:

    I LOL in your general direction, Shamus. That game seems to have had it in for you from the start! ^_~

  24. WoodenTable says:

    Apparently Hellgate needs the CD/DVD to be in the drive in order for it uninstall. And it still takes 4-5 minutes of “gathering information”, or whatever the heck it’s doing.


    Very old blog post to be commenting on, I know, but since this comes up as one of the top google results for “uninstalling hellgate london”, I figured I’d add why this happened, for archival purposes.

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