DMotR Special 1:
A Pointed Editorial

By Shamus Posted Monday Jul 23, 2007

Filed under: DM of the Rings 124 comments

This week I’m posting some amusing screencaps and photoshoppings while I recover from surgery. DMotR will resume next week.

Fan feedback for Peter Jackson.

Some fans take the story more seriously than others.

 


From The Archives:
 

124 thoughts on “DMotR Special 1:
A Pointed Editorial

  1. sleepyfoo says:

    Awesomeness

  2. Skullhead says:

    JUST COMPLETLY LOOOOOOOOOL!!!11

    1. smiley dude says:

      laugh out out out out out out out out out loud

  3. Benevolence says:

    Hope you have a speedy recovery!

  4. Jonathan says:

    Get well soon Shamus!!

  5. Darkenna says:

    Yes, except there would have then been four 4-hour films… The Hobbits and Their Friend, Tom followed by the other three…

  6. Jochi says:

    Makes me look forward (assuming you take the suggestions to do SW next) to seeing Han shoot first — at Lucas.

    Take it easy as long as you need and I’m glad they were able to do the work laproscopically.

    1. VADER says:

      Star Wars has been done already. It’s another screencap comic called Darths and Droids, and its hilarious. Theyre doing all six movies, and theyre working on Episode III now.

      1. Matt says:

        While this is a necro, 2 year old reply….. note that he asked this in 2007. Which around when D&D started, I believe.

  7. Dee says:

    Good luck, Shamus. We’re all rooting for you.

    I hate to say this, but I strongly recommend that you keep meticulous records of all the bills you receive in a spreadsheet (code #, date rec’d, date paid, date routed). Thee paperwork can be more painful than the surgery, and the hospital billing department WILL get things wrong…often.

    If you don’t live in the U.S., forget all this.

  8. vonKreedon says:

    Best of luck on a speedy and complete recovery Shamus. And given your surgery, giving us this little editorial was well and truely above and beyond.

  9. Kris says:

    Wishing you a quick recovery!

  10. The Gneech says:

    I don’t care about Tom Bombadil half as much as the way he mucked around with Faramir!

    -The Gneech

  11. Keldin says:

    There could very easily have been 6 movies, each at 4 hours long, if the money and time had been there — I mean, look at all the extras for each special edition! That doesn’t mean they would have been GOOD movies, mind you.

    Recuperate well, Shamus. We’re all behind you!

  12. Mattingly says:

    I think that arrow hit him right in the gall bladder. Well, almost.

    Get better, Shamus.

  13. damien walder says:

    Shamus – I hope for your swift and full recovery.

    For me, the above arrow is for not pursuing the Hobbit backstory film with more vigour. Now it’ll never get made.
    Unless Brent Ratner’s up fot it (eurgh).

    I _can_ recommend Transformers as being above average quality, if you’re well enough to sit in a theatre and have your heart-rate go up (way up).

    Our game continues with my little Kenku rogue still plucking at his bowstring over a year on. Obviously some gamers have good luck – I hope yours is for health.

    Cheers,
    DW

  14. MintSkittle says:

    If I remember correctly, Pete was killed in all three movies. Any chance on screencapping those? Or correct me if I’m wrong.

  15. Mike says:

    Nah, Peter Jackson merely burped into the camera in Fellowship of the Ring. It was in Bree, in the rain as the hobbits were approaching The Prancing Pony.

  16. Tuccy says:

    Best of luck in your recovery, Shamus, and take your time – your comics are well worth waiting :D

  17. John Thompson says:

    Shamus, remember — laughter IS the best medicine, and you’ve been dishing out large doses for a while.

  18. Tuccy says:

    By the way, for me it’s for the Elves in the battle of Hlem’s Deep. For Pete’s sake, when he couldn’t have done without the Elves, why did the host of few hundred LIGHTFOOTED Elves thump like a German division on a parade? ;)

  19. -Chipper says:

    Nice!

    Since you aren’t busy, Shamus (tee hee), can you make us a game whereby we shoot multiple arrows into Corsair Jackson, one for each affront we’ve taken at his (in our not so humble opinions) LotR mis-steps?

    Let’s see:
    This is for Bombadil!
    This is for Faramir!
    THIS is for Frodo sending Sam away!
    THIS IS FOR FRODO CLINGING TO THE LEDGE BY ONE HAND, YET HANGING ON FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES ONCE GOLLUM FALLS INTO THE CRACKS OF DOOM!!!!!

    Then make a follow on such game for attacking Lucas.

    This is for JarJar!
    This is for the Ewoks!…

    Cheers. Hoping your hitpoints are fully restored speedily.

  20. Erik says:

    “Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow,
    and if you leave him out the fans will pummel you to Jell-O.”

    (I know, I know, I’m groaning too– I do the best I can with the rhymes I get.)

    Brilliant screencap, Shamus. I hope your recovery is as swift and painless as possible (and not just because I want more DMotR).

  21. Blackbird71 says:

    Shamus, best wishes on your recovery, and thanks for even bothering to post something for your humor-hungry fans while out sick. As much as we enjoy this stuff, it’s not worth risking your health, so don’t feel obligated to continue if you’re having trouble, we’ll understand. We’ll probably be chomping at the bit for more as soon as you get better, but we’ll understand ;)

    “I don't care about Tom Bombadil half as much as the way he mucked around with Faramir!”

    Agreed. That was absolute slander.

    “There could very easily have been 6 movies, each at 4 hours long, if the money and time had been there “” I mean, look at all the extras for each special edition! That doesn't mean they would have been GOOD movies, mind you.”

    Well, Tolkien divided each of his 3 volumes into 2 “books”, so LOTR is actually comprised of books 1-6, so 6 movies would actually fit more with Tolkien’s original work. But can you imagine trying to watch them all at once?

    And then imagine the line at the restroom…

  22. MintSkittle says:

    Take that, Jackson, for your dwarf-hating!
    And thanks, Mike, for the correction. We can only hope “Peasant Pete” went on to choke on a hunk of stale bread or something.

  23. Jack says:

    Tom Bombadil should have his own TV show.

    p.s. check out my site for my RPG comic strip http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/RedEaglesGuild/

  24. The lack of Bombadil was keenly noticed. But the real travesty of the series was leaving out the razing of the shire. (All the worse because it was hinted at in Galadriel’s pool!)
    -blarg

  25. Deoxy says:

    Actually, of all the changes Jackson made, the one that irks me the most, easily, is the one that I can’t come up with any reason for. (Note that I do not AGREE with all of these reasons, and some are more reasonable than others.)

    -The changes to Faramir can be explained by the need to show the audience the awesome corrupting power of the One Ring, AND to show the price Faramir was willing to pay to let them go – that is, it may have been an attempt to portray the same character through a different media

    -Leaving out Tom: time savings – he really didn’t do much for the story (sorry, the truth hurts)

    -Leaving out the conspriacy among the other Hobbits (Sam, Merry & Pippin): ditto. Nifty, but unnecessary.

    -Denethor: easier to portray him as nuts than deal with introducing another Palatir, etc

    -Oliphants at the battle of Minas Tirith (and other changes to the battle): yay, CGI pretties. The results of the battle were correct, OK?

    I could go on. The one I simply can’t wrap my mind around:

    The ENTS.

    Seriously, they haven’t noticed the thousands of clear-cut acres? They’re willing to walk to their (they believe) doom over it, and they all just happen to be RIGHT THERE, but they hadn’t noticed?!?

    WTF?!?!?!?

    (And no, that’s not a reference to the Wrackspawn. Inside joke…)

    1. WJS says:

      Because they are minor characters. In hollywood, minor characters can’t have initiative or minds of their own, they have to be persuaded to act by a main character.

  26. Deoxy says:

    -the Razing of the Shire: Happens after all the other action, takes too long to be tacked on to the end, can’t possibly go in it’s own movie… That’s one of the decisions I actually agree with (not that I like it as a fan, but that I could see myself actually making the same decision if faced with the material).

  27. the grandaddy says:

    shamus, best of luck with your recovery and we’ll be here for you, and your party
    hope you get lots of xp for this encounter

  28. Doug Brown says:

    … and for ruining Faramir!
    … and for having the hobbits trick the Ents into moving against Saruman!
    … and for having Frodo abandon Sam!
    … and for swapping out Glorfindel for Arwen!

  29. RR says:

    My biggest pet peeve was Shelob…

    Sam’s fight with Shelob went on WAY too long in the movie… In the book, he got lucky and his basic hobbit toughness shone through…

    One of the best lines in the book, which was left out of the movie:

    Sam (after Shelob basically stabbed herself on Sting): Come on you filth, taste it again!!

  30. Shamgar says:

    “If you don't live in the U.S., forget all this.”

    Yeah, cause if not then you’re screwed already, why bother.

  31. Cheryl says:

    Best Wishes for a speedy and easy recovery!

  32. GEBIV says:

    Worst change in the movie to me: The undead horde winning the battle of Pelinor Fields.

    One question though, anyone else hoping for a Stonagorn montage?

  33. Cenobite says:

    OMG…this screenshot proves what they said in the DVD bonus features. The man REALLY IS a Hobbit.

  34. Rob Sack says:

    Shamus, if the world was a fair place you would be over the surgery before it began. The laughter and good will you have generated easily outweigh a gall bladder surgery on the grand karmic scale.

    Take it easy, and don’t feel the need to rush back! This forum can spin on for weeks with just a picture of P.J. getting an arrow to the gut!

  35. Melfina the Blue says:

    Feel better soon!

    And lol. Just lol. I didn’t mind missing Tom, but why oh why did the Elven troops from Lorien say the ruler of Rivendell sent them? Grumble, grumble, WTF?

    (And yes, that was my biggest complaint, other than cutting out the death of Sarumon)

    1. WJS says:

      IIRC they did look more like high elves than wood elves, but that just makes the question “WTF is Haldir doing leading Rivendell troops? Isn’t that Elrond’s job?”

  36. Browncoat says:

    16 Mike Says: July 23rd, 2007 at 11:56 am
    Nah, Peter Jackson merely burped into the camera in Fellowship of the Ring. It was in Bree, in the rain as the hobbits were approaching The Prancing Pony.

    Yes, but it was a fatal belch.

    “This is for all the railroading you did! ‘Have to camp on *top* of Weathertop!’ ‘Can’t go anywhere but back to Edoras!’ ‘It’s a trap! Skulls fall. Everybody dies!’ Bah!”

    “This is for all the “enchanted” forests: Fangorn, Lorien, … okay, I guess that’s it, but, I mean, c’mon!”

    “And this! THIS! This is because [say it with me sports fans] I HATE THIS CAMPAIGN!!!!”

  37. Jamie says:

    I was not sorry in the least that he left out Tom Bombadil. He is tiresome. I usually skip over him when I reread…

  38. Sharra says:

    Yay, Jackson-bashing!
    Here’s my pet peeve: Making Saruman responsible for the Caradhras snowstorm. (Yes, it was discussed as a possibility by Gandalf and Aragorn, but finally dismissed.) Why do I care? Tolkien is all about world texture. The rest of the world exists outside the Sauron war, threatening as that is. Caradhras has its own reasons to dislike trespassers, and it’s fine that way. Attributing the snowstorm to Saruman’s intervention reduces the whole thing to a manichean conflict, and simplifies the world greatly. It’s a minor thing but representative of a lot of what happened in the movie. (Conversely the Ent’s initial disinterest is for the wrong reasons. But I digress.)
    Anyway… Good luck with the operation as well.
    Cheers

  39. AndiN says:

    My husband once said that if LOTR had been made exactly as the books were written, it’d be twelve hours long — and a musical.

    That still cracks me up. :-)

    Get better soon, Shamus!

  40. Alex says:

    Get well soon.
    I hope you feel better.

  41. Best wishes on a speedy recovery, I can’t wait for the spider cave jokes.

  42. Bombadil says:

    Given that I’m named after Tom Bombadil back in the 70s. I appreciate this comic on several levels. ^_^

  43. John says:

    AndiN Says:

    July 23rd, 2007 at 4:38 pm
    My husband once said that if LOTR had been made exactly as the books were written, it'd be twelve hours long “” and a musical….

    There is a musical out now
    Its terrible

    John

  44. jpetoh says:

    You know why he got hit with an arrow:

    “I’m a Derek and Dereks don’t run.”

  45. comicshorse says:

    Hobbits bouncing on the bed ! Hate that.
    Also Arragorn singing.
    And the fact that when issuing the challenge at the gates of Mordor Arragorn suddenly develops an Irish accent.
    And Faramir proving he is the worlds most incompetent tactician when the Orcs cross the river.

  46. Veltyen says:

    ++ If you don't live in the U.S., forget all this.

    + Yeah, cause if not then you're screwed already, why bother.

    The first time I’ve seen anything funnier then the comic in the comments. Now I need to clean my screen, doh!

  47. TarAncalime says:

    YESSS! Bombadil has had his revenge!

  48. Kate says:

    Since We’re all on a Peter Jackson-Bashing kick, I want to aim a few arrows too!

    What bothered me was not so much the leaving out of various people, or cutting off of certain important ending bits. LoTR is a very, very long book, and I can understand that they can’t fit in all the appendices and whatnot. So I can accept that.

    What I can’t accept is the complete and total removal of the character’s dignity.

    He took away the Ents’ dignity by having Merry and Pippin trick them. He took Faramir’s dignity away by turning him into his brother. He Took Theoden’s dignity away by forcing Gandalf to Save him rather than allowing him his own reclamation. Gimli, and even Legolas was reduced to cheap shots, one liners and special effects, with hardly any acknowledgement of who they are as people.

    And oh my God, what he did to Denethor! How hard would it have been, even leaving out the extra palantir, to give Denethor an honorable death? It could have done almost exactly the same as in the book, with Denethor asking about his son, and then choosing to remain on the pyre, and Gandalf could have delivered his line as the flames rose higher, obscuring him from view?

    He even takes away Frodo’s dignity, forcing him to squabble over the ring like that. And Sam would never have left Frodo, no matter what stupid trick Gollum played. He would have followed along fifty feet behind, waiting until Frodo needed him. That’s just who he was.

    In fact, the only character he doesn’t emasculate in some fashion is Boromir, and that’s because he died before PJ could think of a way to taint him somehow.

    Ok, that’s enough. Shamus, I hope you feel better soon!

  49. Scarlet Knight says:

    That’s for leaving out Bilbo’s “All that is gold does not glitter” poem!

    (If you slow down the frames, you see that the shooter in the above panel was really the old man from Helm’s Deep…)

    Get well soon Shamus! Gimli asks, “…if you got the stones.” You certainly do- & have them in a jar to prove it!

  50. Caitlin says:

    Thanks for giving us some funny while you recover. I had my gallbladder out, it wasn’t fun but it only took about a week to recover. You should avoid greasy foods from now on; your stomach won’t like them anymore.

    Hope you’ve got some great meds and recover quickly!

  51. David Brown says:

    I’m still angry that Jackson left out that great song Tolkien wrote in ROTK, the one that goes “Where there’s a whip, there’s a way.”

    Speedy recovery.

  52. superfluousk says:

    Health and good wishes, Shamus!

  53. inq101 says:

    Personaly, I can do without an extra 30 minutes of rhyming nonsence, I wanted to see the Clensing of the Shire in the films.

    Get well soon.

    No realy. I want more comics.

  54. Jimmy says:

    Get well soon Shamus!

    Can’t wait to see you use the extra footage on all those bonus-discs in this…

    But take a healing potion and recover fully for us, us wolves can wait a while for our fix of DMotR

    Cheers

  55. Max says:

    They should have had Peter keep his glasses on. It would be a lot funnier for those who discovered it if he was wearing glasses.

    In fact, he should have been in modern clothes and stuff, but he should have been “killed” in a split-second scene…in a corner of a screen…that can only be seen in widescreen.

    Yeah.

  56. Luke (Thrythlind) says:

    I knew Bombadil wouldn’t be in it. My problem was the unneccessary changes to the story. Or even things like Elves at Helm’s Deep, that was fine, though it would have been better if they were the Grey Company instead (Aragorn’s Dunadan ranger followers)

    Faramir giving in to the temptation of the ring for even a moment. (never does in the book, as soon as he knows they have the ring, they tell him their task and he lets them go…with help and advice)

    Gandalf and Theoden’s positions reversed (in the book, Theoden wanted to ride out to meet the orcs of Saruman in open battle and Gandalf told him to go to Helm’s Deep)

    Aragorn’s overwhelming reluctance to accept his destiny. I especially don’t like the fact that he never confronted
    Sauron through the Palantir…I SOOO wanted to see the scene where the lidded eye fled before the image of Isildur that overlayed Aragorn. It is like one of the first major indications of Sauron’s fear and he completely cut it out.

    The disrespect that the Rohirrim were showing Merry as a fighter. In the book, he and Pippin had already taken more than there share of orcs in both the battle where they were captured and at Isengard. When they were captured, they took several of the orcs out in melee. In the book, there is no doubt in the Rohirrim’s mind that Merry could fight better than most of their soldiers (if not as well as Eoden and Theoden). However, Merry can’t ride a horse, ponies can’t keep up and they couldn’t risk over tiring a horse or shorting a warrior supplies to carry him. Eowyn, weighing several pounds less than the average Rohirrim male, made that problem a lot easier to get around.

    But, by far, the most annoying rewrite of the entire movie was the manner of the Ring’s destruction.

    In the book, the Ring’s destruction is probably one of the most elegant and extended metaphors I have ever seen.

    Just taking the last piece of the story, I’ll explain what I mean.

    On their way up the steps of Mount Doom, Frodo and Sam are attacked by the Gollum and throw him off. Before Frodo continues on his walk, he grips the Ring and channels its power, appearing more terrible and lord-like for a moment. At this moment, he lays down the following doom on the Gollum.

    “If you touch me ever again, you shall be cast yourself into the Cracks of Doom.”

    Later, as Frodo is taken over by the Ring, Gollum appears and bites it off of Frodo, freeing Baggins and getting the Ring in one fell swoop. Now, what happens as he dances around calling out “My precious” almost immediately afterward?

    He falls, or else a piece of rock slips under him and he trips. In either case:

    He’s cast…

    Into where?

    …into the Cracks of Doom.

    The instance is one of the best techniques I’ve seen to show that evil is, in the long-run, self-destructive.

    Frodo himself mentions at some point that if it weren’t for Gollum, he’d never have succeeded. But now let’s go further.

    Gollum likely wouldn’t have fallen if the Command of the Ring hadn’t been on him.

    The Command of the Ring wouldn’t have been able to affect him if he had not been corrupted by it.

    As such, the Ring has, itself, crafted the tool for its own destruction.

    Similarly, Sauron crafted the Ring, which is, in and of itself, the eventual cause of his own defeat and destruction.

    In both cases, the evil chose to craft something to meet its short term goals (Sauron – remain in Middle Earth…the Ring – get back to Sauron) but which rendered their long term goals (survival) highly vulnerable.

    It was a very, very, very graceful and poignant construction.

    And what does Jackson do?

    He has Frodo push Gollum….

    bleh

    The only good part about it is that they then had the Ring’s destruction not so much tied to the lava, but rather to Frodo turning away from it and stop desiring it.

    However, Jackson hadn’t been leading up to that so much at all. Not the way that Tolkien does through the entire book and the entire Silmarillion for that matter.

    So, Jackson sacrificed one of the most central and sublimely displayed metaphors of the book and replaced it with a Hollywood cliffhanger…

  57. Nefke says:

    Good one Shamus!

  58. Mike says:

    “This is for JarJar!
    This is for the Ewoks!…”

    Hey hey now – the Ewoks were actually cute – not one-tenth as offensive as JarJar…

    “My husband once said that if LOTR had been made exactly as the books were written, it'd be twelve hours long “” and a musical.”

    LOL – yes, yes it would have been. Everybody sang songs in those books… Some of that was a bit… cumbersome. Much less of that in Children of Hurin, I noticed. What? They made a musical? LOL

  59. Lukelightning says:

    I never liked Tom Bombadil. He was just too goofy for my tastes. And don’t get me started on his wife….

  60. Lukelightning says:

    “And the fact that when issuing the challenge at the gates of Mordor Arragorn suddenly develops an Irish accent.”

    Suddenly? Viggo randomly hit any R in a proper noun with an accent. GondoRRRR, MoRRRRdoRRRRR.

  61. Dan says:

    Get well soon, Shamus!

  62. NeedsToHeal says:

    Get well soon.

  63. Yahzi says:

    I also wanted to see the Cleansing of the Shire. Would have been much better than all those silly goodbyes.

  64. Medium Dave says:

    Now wait, Hashberry was a genteel and marvelous wench.

    My shots-Wham! For the whole Osgiliath plot? Huh? Faramir rejected the ring. Period.

    Wham! The Barrow Wight scene is where the +20 vs Wringwraiths daggers were found, enabling Pippin the nail the head Nazgul. You think a lucky shot was enought to slay one of these creatures? Some wench whipping a longsword out is not a basis for dropping a boss monster. Sorry. The Nazgul were far nastier than that. What happened to the Black Breath?

    Wham (Ballista Bolt) No scouring of the shire/oddly compacted death of Saruman, on of the greatest of the Mayar by a freaking BACKSTAB from a little piece of work like Wormtongue? Totally anticimactic.

    Whams-Making Gimli the comic relief. And so on.

  65. -Chipper says:

    Luke (Thrythlind) – well said!

    I DO like the movies. But… It’s taken me a few years to see that the things in them I didn’t like fell into two main categories:
    1. the loss of characters’ nobility as noted by others here;
    2. things that didn’t make sense just within the movies themselves ignoring what the books said. Mostly this was in The Two Towers – how the characters wanted to defend Rohan (Let’s ride out rather than stay behind thick defensible walls!), Gandalf’s charge down a hill into a bunch of pikes that somehow managed to miss 99% of the charging horses, horsemen easily charging thru the massed orcs on the causeway, ents not knowing their forest is being decimated (c’mon guys, you’re the shepherds of the trees, how hard can it be to notice your stationary flock is dwindling so fast?), then being tricked into fighting, and all of them being within 10 ent-strides of Treebeard when he calls.

    But it is still visually stunning and mostly a great set of movies.

  66. Nixorbo says:

    “one of the greatest of the Mayar by a freaking BACKSTAB from a little piece of work like Wormtongue? Totally anticimactic.”

    So … you like the original death of Saruman better, where Wormtongue stabs him, better than Jackson’s death of Saruman, where Wormtongue stabs him?

  67. Luke (Thrythlind) says:

    Medium Dave:

    Unfortunately, if you don’t have Bombadil, you don’t have the Barrow Wights.

    However, it is acceptable to believe that Aragorn would have access to similar daggers. After all, it was the type of blade used, a blade of old numenor, that caused the protective spell around the Wraith King to fail and allow him to be killed by Eowyn’s simple longsword.

    Made stats for that in a live action game once. Basically, any creature hit by the dagger loses all regenerative abilities for like 20 seconds and, if killed in that period, they can’t come back to life.

    That said…the Barrow Wight scene would have been cool

    And Chipper, you’re right…most of the problems come in the second movie and towards the end of the third.

    and we haven’t even gotten to nitpicks like how the images of Barad Dur and Mount Doom were reversed in position as Sam and Frodo saw them coming down from the border-fortress.

    Or the lack of the scene with the Watchers.

    And we never get to see Pippin go berserk on a troll chief like he did in the book.

    Pippin SOLOED a troll chieftian in the last battle…the only telling blow it laid on him was FALLING on him so he couldn’t participate in the battle further.

    Poor Merry, meanwhile was stuck in Minas Tirith recovering from the Black Breath

  68. Luke (Thrythlind) says:

    LukeLightning

    That is because the languages of Adunaic, Quenya and Sindarin that really have an English “r” phoneme. They have one that approximates it, however, so it is easiest to approximate the spelling with an “r”, it’s deeper in the throat, though, and comes out sounding like you tried to swallow something as you talked. It is not a sound we have in the English language any longer (though if you’ve ever had to recite Old English, you might recognize it)

    As such, anytime he’s saying the name of a place named in one of those old tongues, he pulls it back from the front of the mouth a bit, not quite to the level of old English “gh” but still pulled back.

  69. Matthias says:

    Been reading this webcomic for awhile, and I’ve been greatly entertained between this and OOTS.

    My geekish take on Peter Jackson’s LOTR is that his Middle Earth is an alternate universe. They are similar enough in all the things that really matter, and as an adaptation of print to film it works just fine.

    Also the side-commentary on the vagaries of tabletop gaming (and especially DMing) are outstanding. Shamus, you really do need to collect these insights in one place and write the DMG III.

    Thirdly, I wish people here would stop trying to give Shamus ideas. How’s it going to look if someone posts a clever way of handling some future scene, and that’s what Shamus ends up doing? Sure, that one person looks smart, but it ruins the experience for everyone else.

    I know that as a DM I hate when my players talk among themselves out-of-character about some upcoming part of the campaign and decide they already know what’s going to happen (especially if they’re right!) It ruins the suspense for everyone else and steals the thunder of the storyteller.

    So enough with the “I bet he’ll do X next” sort of posts, just sit and watch with the rest of us. :)

  70. TheFlyingPig says:

    Hi Shamus, sorry to hear you health is less than perfect….
    this week maybe I can amuse you a bit. Here’s a project I did 2 or 3 years ago – FlyingPigComix. This one also grew out of an online game…..certain of my fellow players along with other guest stars form the cast. keep promising myself that I’ll rewrite it sometime cos it could be much better…..

    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress01.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress02.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress03.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress04.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress05.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress06.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress07.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress08.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress09.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress10.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress11.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress12.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress13pt1.jpg
    http://www.teamvenom-nfsu2.com/files/piglets_progress13pt2.jpg

    Anyway, been meaning to express my appreciation of DM of the Rings for some time – I’ve been following it for some few months now & it just gets better! Thanx – and I have never played D&D but DM makes me want to give it a go although I suspect the real thing probly aint a patch on the comic!
    And remember – No grunt, no phunt! – TheFlyingPig

  71. TheFlyingPig says:

    ps – email address on the letters page in episode 5 works…..

  72. Scarlet Knight says:

    Colin, You ARE consistent. Still, I feel like I’m working with Harpo Marx; only your bicycle horn goes “Pimp”!

    Imagine: *Scene: hospital room*
    Colin races in, then stops at Shamus’s bed. He reaches deep into several of his coat pockets, pulls out several random objects ( DMOTR mug,” My dice are trying to kill me” T-shirt, etc) before finding Get Well card in his hat. Shamus, touched, extends his hand to thank Colin. Colin places leg in Shamus’s hand, squeezes horn *Pimp*! He then gets chased from room when a hobbit smoking a cigar and a dwarf with an Italian accent run in…

  73. Telas says:

    After reading through all the slings and arrows directed at PJ, I came to the conclusion that these movies could have been far, far worse.

    While I can pick nits all day long, at the end of the day I’m thankful that we got the trilogy we did. If you don’t think Hollywood can screw up a good book, try renting Johnny Mnemonic some day…

    Oh, the horror…

  74. Smith says:

    Bombadil got his revenge: ever seen the music video of Leonard Nimoy singing “Bilbo Baggins”? d20 SAN loss, there.

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Shamus!

  75. xbolt says:

    This is for ruining the scene with Gollum, Frodo, and Sam on the winding stair!

  76. Ambidexter says:

    I didn’t miss Bombadil. Switching Arwen for Glorfindel was no big deal. I understand why Jackson didn’t do the Cleansing of the Shire.

    But messing with Denethor really annoyed me. In the book, Denethor is an intelligent, highly competent ruler of a powerful country. He’s tricked by Sauron through the palantir into despair. That makes him a much more interesting and complex character than the nutjob that Jackson portrays.

  77. Jadawin says:

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned Aragorn going over the cliff- hey Jackson you brainiac, in case you didn’t notice, Tolkien already used that plot device with Gandalf, and you wasted time that could have been spent putting all the crap you left out in.

  78. Deoxy says:

    The loss of Denethor as a sane character was a shame, but I can see that trying to convey a more complex character, especially a secondary character like that, would have taken more time that was needed for other things. Yes, I would rather have had the extra 10ish minutes tacked onto the movie for it, but I respect the choices required for the mass market. (Giving him an honorable death wouldn’t have been too much to ask, though.)

    Aragorn going over the cliff… eh, one of those “make the battle look good on the screen” kinds of things. I don’t care for it, it’s kinda dumb, but it’s not really that big a deal.

    My husband once said that if LOTR had been made exactly as the books were written, it'd be twelve hours long “” and a musical.

    12 hours? It’s ALREADY 12 hours! Try 12 DAYS! But yes, a musical (shudder).

    After reading through all the slings and arrows directed at PJ, I came to the conclusion that these movies could have been far, far worse.

    And has been, on all the other attempts; there have been several, and “hideous” is the a polite way to describe the best of them

  79. Kristin says:

    Ugh, not to mention the deeply disturbing scene wherein Aragorn can’t tell the difference between Arwen and Brego. Eliminate Aragorn going over the cliff, you get rid of that disturbing bit too.

  80. comicshorse says:

    Just to comment on Deoxy’s statement. I gotta say I’m a big fan of the cartoon version of LOTR. Anybody else stand up for it ?

  81. Nod says:

    re comments on the mounted combat aspects of the movies…

    my biggest disappointment was the Rohirrim charge at Minas Tirith. While the mass of horseman looked good visually, it was not how cavalry fought. There would have been space between each row of cavalry to allow room to avoid any obstacles caused by the preceeeding ranks – dead bodies, riderless horses etc. And all of the Riders had their shields hanging off their saddles – not ideal if you are charging archers – or entering melee. Admittedly some had bows, but they weren’t used until the giant elephants arrived.

    Theoden’s charge out of Helm’s Deep was good though. There’s no way foot soldiers can stand up to cavalry unless they are armed with pikes/spears and in a firm, disciplined formation. A battle-trained horse will go straight through any other infantry formation. A cavalryman will rely on speed and shock (momentum) for intial impact and then on not standing still once the melee starts.

  82. GEBIV says:

    In retrospect however, there is one scene that I’m glad Jackson left out.

    After being rescued from the Barrow Wights by Bombadil, the hobbits frolicked naked in a field as they recovered. If it took leaving out Bombadil to not get that scene, it was a small price to pay…

    1. WJS says:

      Heh, I watched The Hobbit recently, and in Rivendell we get to see the 13 Dwarves in a fountain…

  83. James Blair says:

    On a similar note, I guess it’s also a good thing he didn’t do the tower-top Frodo rescue scene for pretty much the same reasons. I can imagine some off-camera orc saying, “Ewwwee! That’s ugly! Put those pants back on him, Shagrat!”

    My Big Ballista Bolt Moment: “Go away, Sam!”

    No excuse for it, not even the Ring. I literally skip that whole section of the movie when I come to it on the DVD. I want to pretend it isn’t there.

  84. K. Sanjuro says:

    Okay…I hope you all really do understand that those movies are now their own thing. Once a book is adapted into another medium, the movie cannot– let me repeat that, CANNOT be compared to the book. It’s a movie and its own product now. So stop whining about how it isn’t like the book. The book is different, the movie is different, and that’s all. No more.

  85. Adam says:

    I wanted a dice thingy!

    Just finished the comic. Marvelous.

  86. Luke (Thrythlind) says:

    Actually, LotR is not a trilogy.

    It is a multi-volume story.

    A trilogy is three distinct stories that fit within a larger overall storyline. Each part of a trilogy has a recognizable beginning, middle and end with only minimal loose ends. In fact, each story should be able to fit as a story on its own without anybody ever seeing/reading the previous or future parts.

    LotR however, always ends at terrible cliffhangers as evidenced by the “that’s it!” heard in theaters the first time I saw the movie. My loud response: “It’s a three volume book, two more movies.”

    In actuality, however, each volume of the story is divided into two books, and, if I had the money and the connections and the knowhow, then I would have done it as a 6 three hour movies rather than only 3.

    Then we’d have:

    Part 1: The birthday party to reaching Rivendell
    Part 2: Resting in Rivendell to the breaking of the fellowship
    Part 3: The events in Rohan
    Part 4: The events in Sam and Frodo’s trek up to Sam being taken into the fortress after Sam dispatches Shelob
    Part 5: Rohan and Gondor preparing for war to Pippin getting trapped under the troll chieftain he kills.
    Part 6: Sam and Frodo’s toils in Mordor to the Cleansing of the Shire.

    THAT however is an ideal and is unlikely to EVER get done.

    Truth comes to shove, books don’t translate exactly to movies and movies don’t translate exactly to books.

    Books are much better at introspection and internal thought than any movie or play will ever be. Unless you do like Shakespeare and have the characters break into internal monologue occasionally.

    Movies, however, are much better at showing everything that is going on around the main focus. There is a lot of visual subtlety that is hard to do right in text. For example, I have a character in a story idea that is constantly flying, the thing is, she is constantly flying approximately 1 to 2 inches off the ground and wears long dresses. Occasionally, she will “sit” where there is no chair. In text, this is difficult to hint at without blowing it wide open, I’m always having to be careful about describing her motion as a “glide” or else describing a scene including how many seats they are and gradually eliminate the seats she could be taking, or having people just assume she’s doing a pantomime trick (balancing on one foot in a psuedo-seated position). If I were doing the story in a visual medium, it would be much easier to show it without spot-lighting it. It would be background info.

    I still count the three as my favorite movies…despite all the flaws.

  87. oldschoolGM says:

    You know what? I could rip the Jackson movies apart on the skewer of Tolkien knowledge to an extent not even touched upon by this forum but what is the point? It was a great movie. It BASICALLY preserved the spirit of the books and gained this great work of literature a much wider audience.

  88. Butterfly says:

    Wishing you a quick recovery. On many occasions reading this comic has brightened my day. Thank you.

  89. Medium Dave says:

    Nixorbo Said: “So … you like the original death of Saruman better, where Wormtongue stabs him, better than Jackson's death of Saruman, where Wormtongue stabs him?”

    No I like the CONTEXT of Saruman having fallen so far from grace that he is some ragpicker named Sharky getting killed by a plain dagger. I liked the CONTEXT that Pippen and Meriadoc are now taller than the other hobbits and that they wear armor and carry swords AND they make short shrift of all the Shire Reeves and stupid nonsense that are wreaking havoc in their shire. I wanted to see Frod0 have reasons to leave for the Grey Havens. The hobbits that returned have changed, just as their world did. The scouring of the shire was a critical element, to my mind, and in that whole gestalt, Saruman’s mortality was much more evident. While he was aloft in his fortress, he was still somewhat potent, a dagger thrust would not have hurt him right then.

  90. Scarlet Knight says:

    “GEBIV Says:After being rescued from the Barrow Wights by Bombadil, the hobbits frolicked naked in a field as they recovered.”

    You know, that would clear up some questions:

    Frodo: “Why would someone as beautiful as Rosy Cotton be interested in Sam?”
    *Sam frolicks by, naked*
    Merry: “Oh,now I see. THAT rather explains a lot, it does.”
    Frodo: Still doesn’t explain why you’re Merry…”

  91. Phil says:

    “I don't care about Tom Bombadil half as much as the way he mucked around with Faramir!”

    And Theoden. And Aragorn. And Treebeard. And Gimli. And Frodo…

    Actually I really don’t care at all that they left out Bombadil! What I find hard to forgive (albeit in a churlish “even though the films were 100x better than I ever hoped they could be” sort of way!) is their lack of faith in Tolkein’s story and characters, changing them not for running time or simplicity (e.g. Bombadil or Glorfindel) but to “sex them up”. Gollum can’t fall, he has to be pushed; Treebeard can’t realise he needs to fight, he has to be tricked; Faramir and Aragorn can’t be noble, they have to flawed and redeemed. Theoden can’t just respond to Gondor’s call on his oath, he has to have a little peeved whine first. And so on, and so on.

  92. Lukelightning says:

    “That is because the languages of Adunaic, Quenya and Sindarin that really have an English “r” phoneme”

    Then how come Gandalf, Elrond, Legolas, Saruman, and Galadrial didn’t hit their R’s? No, it was just Viggo overacting his accent.

  93. Phil says:

    “And all of the Riders had their shields hanging off their saddles”

    Yes, that did look a bit silly, especially riding into an arrow storm. But I suspect there probably aren’t that many riders and horses in NZ which are trained for “no hands” galloping! I suppose they could have CGI’d a few such riders in but then the CGI bods at WETA did rather have their hands full getting that film out of the door in time!

  94. ash says:

    I always thought they should have mentioned Tom at the Council of Elrond at least. As a sort of respect. Sure, most of the ignorant film watchers wouldn’t have got it. But I would. And that is what matters.

  95. Telas says:

    Comicshorse: Just to comment on Deoxy's statement. I gotta say I'm a big fan of the cartoon version of LOTR. Anybody else stand up for it ?

    The Captain of the White Tower, Steward-Prince of Gondor, Boromir son of Denethor, running around without pants?

    Aragorn son of Arathorn, the nine and thirtieth heir of Isildur, the rightful King of Gondor and founder of the House of Telcontar, the Chieftain of the Dunedain, tripping over his scabbard?

    Durin’s Bane, the Nameless Terror, the last surviving Balrog in Middle Earth, nothing more than a tall guy with a monkey mask and some furry chaps?

    I say thee nay, varlet! :P

    (There used to be a hilarious review of the Bakshi film at http://www.wulfarchives.com, but it seems to have died an early death. Anyone know Internet Archaeology?)

  96. Minerva says:

    “Yes, that did look a bit silly, especially riding into an arrow storm. But I suspect there probably aren't that many riders and horses in NZ which are trained for “no hands” galloping!”

    Actually as we don’t have cars in New Zealand, most people are quite good at no hands riding these days as we’ve all got used to steering a horse while talking on a cellphone with one hand and adjusting with the horse-back stereo with the other.

  97. lollerskates says:

    Peter Jackson deserved it.

  98. SteveDJ says:

    Woohoo! It says “A hundred comments! Everybody wins!” Now, I wonder what we all won???

    (Realizes that by posting this, there won’t be exactly 100 anymore — there goes our prizes. Sorry about that everyone… :) )

  99. Svetlana says:

    Hehe :) However, the really intriguing question is what do elves eat and how do they retrieve their food. I can hardly imagine an elf-farmer and Tolkien is more than scarce in this point.

  100. Logan says:

    I want Bombadill RAAAAAAAA Ms. Hanickin line ‘KILL, KILL, KIIILL!!!’

  101. Majka says:

    however sad it was that bombadil was left out, I have to say that the Arwen-incident was waaay more aggrivating. “modern view of females” up my wazooo! sacrilidge it was!

  102. melkor says:

    Bombadil was melkor (morgoth). Check out the barrow wight scene – “till the dark lord lifts his hand….”.

    How else could he not be affected by the ring?

    At least that is the sort of thing I do in my campaigns…

    BTW: All my players MUST read these – fantastic!

  103. Lunch says:

    Personally I was pissed they left out the retaking of the shire. That was my favorite part of the book. :<

  104. serenitybane says:

    The face is simply perfect, in both the reaction of surprise and pain XD

  105. The Beerslayer says:

    I realize I’m late to this party, but…

    To #18: Laughter may indeed be the best medicine, unless you’re recovering from hernia surgery. Trust me on this.

    :D

  106. will says:

    that is brilliant. one of the three decent criticisms i’ve heard. accept…the singing would be too…gay. not that i haven’t experimented, but, in the context…

  107. Robin says:

    I’m amazed that nobody’s mentioned my pet peeve — the blacklight brass-brassiere Galadriel effect when Frodo offers her the ring.

    And you can’t include Bombadil. If you treat him like a sixties hippie, you mortally offend half the Tolkien fans. And if you don’t, you mortally offend the other half.

  108. Cassy Greyson says:

    Awesomeness to this picture…

  109. WJS says:

    I don’t know if the Ents not noticing Saruman’s work is as bad as some make it out. Remember, they move really slowly, and while the deforestation had been going on for months, that could be just like a couple of hours from the pov of an Ent. I agree it’s ridiculous how quickly the rest of the Ents appeared after Treebeard called them though.

  110. Karrot says:

    in my opinion the only things that pepole shoult get like this about is the razing of the shire and what they did to poor glimi

  111. Spike says:

    Oh my gosh! the part with Bombadil was SO fricken BORING!

  112. Papa Bear says:

    I can’t believe no one has posted a good old fashioned Strongbad

    ARROWED!!

    I have fulfilled my duty.

  113. Papa Bear says:

    Sorry…double entry. Darn tactical network…

  114. Matt says:

    When I saw the Fellowship as a 12 year old, I was furious that he wasn’t in the movie. The movie was still awesome, but with no Tom or barrowights and numenorean daggers ….. it felt a bit less magical.

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