Amdir was stabbed by a morgul blade and is being tormented by the Dark Lord himself, having his mind torn apart by the Lord of the Ring. That sounds bad, but I still think he’s probably better off than Lulzy.
Spoiler Warning Season 2×16: Adventures in Babysitting
Warning: The Internet Absurdity Review Board has advised that the following video contains high levels of folly, foolishness, improbability, inanity, irrationality, jive, ludicrousness, ridiculousness, silliness, and flapdoodle. Viewer discretion is advised.
Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself. At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index. |
Happy Birthday to…
Impulse turns 2 today. (Get 15% off using the coupon code Impulse-Bday.)
Deus Ex turns 10 today, and yesterday it was on sale on Steam for $2.50. I meant to tell you about that but it slipped my mind.
And Clockworks turns a year old today.
That’s a lot of birthdays. What’s the big deal with June 23?
Stolen Pixels #205: The Bullet Massage
I forgot to link this on Tuesday.
I’m picking apart all the little flaws of Alpha Protocol, but there’s really only one that’s really daunting me: Instead of having long loading screens, the game loads levels a few rooms at a time and brings in more as you progress. You’ll hit a trigger in the middle of hallway and the game will cache the room you’re about to enter and unload the room you were just in.
The problem is that this mini-load takes about a quarter second, and the input logic doesn’t account for it. If you’re moving the camera slightly (which is very likely if you’re using the mouse) then it will take that movement and repeat it over the entire quarter-second lurch. The upshot is that you’ll end up spun around in a single frame. If you’re still holding down the forward key, then you’re likely to blunder into the trigger again going the other way, which will cause it to dump the room it just loaded and load the room it just dumped, and also toss you through another quarter-second lurch where your camera ends up aimed someplace random.
This can happen in the middle of combat. I can’t properly express how much rage I feel when I line up my shot on some dude’s noggin and suddenly I’m facing the other way and staring at the floor and desperately looking for cover so I can get my bearings again before I get shot to death.
This bug is infuriating because it’s so pervasive and so easily fixed. Assuming I’m right about the cause, then this is a simple input bug that is 100% reproducible on the PC. (I know I’ve seen other people complaining about it as well.)
A more esoteric bug is the one I ran into last night, which I suspect is related to the same room-caching system. I ran into a huge ballroom but then decided to double-back and check some other corridors before proceeding through. I hit another lurch in the process, and then returned to the ballroom to find it was gone:
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All of the room geometry was missing. There were dudes and furniture floating in thin air. I figured I’d try to just dash through the room to the next and hope the problem would sort itself out at the next lurch. Even though I couldn’t see it any more, the staircase was solid enough and I remembered where it was. And I could see the door on the far side.
But while the staircase was solid, the floor was not. I got to the bottom of the steps and fell out of the level entirely, skydiving (in a standing position) out of the level and into the abyss. Had to re-load the game.
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Contrary to previous Obsidian games, the plot keeps getting better as I go. And there are a lot less bugs than in either KOTOR 2 or NWN 2. But there are bugs, and they are an annoying killjoy.
Spoiler Warning Season 2×15:
The Cure, and Heavy Metal
Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself. At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index. |
As I mentioned in the episode, you can get the original Fallout from Good Old Games for just six bucks. (Actually I think I said five, which means I fell for the one-penny-less trick. CURSE YOU MARKETING!) I already owned the game, but I had problems installing it. Rather than muck about looking for workarounds I just bought it again. The version on sale at GoG didn’t have any of the old legacy issues. Plus, it came with:
* A PDF of the manual.
* The Fallout Bible. (Which, to be fair, is available for free. So don’t go running off to buy the game if that’s all you want.)
* The original soundtrack
* The in-game soundtrack? Which is different in some way I assume?
* A smattering of other loose items like wallpapers and such.
* The game. A rather important item, that. It should work on your fancy new future computer.
It doesn’t come with any DRM though, so you’ll have to provide that yourself. I’ve been forcing myself to find a random CD and put it in the drive when I want to play so I don’t feel like a criminal. Maybe if you’re using a laptop you can just refuse to play when you don’t have a net connection?
I found The Pitt hard to deconstruct because I haven’t played it myself. We were sent by Werner to free slaves, but the guy who sent us was talking about smuggling in a weapon. So was getting captured part of the plan? And what are we supposed to be doing? In this episode we gathered ingots and then fought in the arena for our freedom, but I wasn’t clear on what that was leading to. I guess it will be revealed when we get to Asher, but at this point I have no idea what Werner was expecting us to do in here.
Dance Dance Revolution:
Learning To Push Buttons
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I’ve been learning to play Dance Dance Revolution. I know this isn’t my usual type of game to review, but it’s been a very interesting process.
I needed a couple of weeks to get over the whole “getting in shape” aspect of the thing so that I could play more than a handful of rounds in a row without needing to stagger away and stave off a heart attack. Now I’m to the point where I can play for a half hour or forty five minutes at a stretch and I can focus on actually learning to play.
Continue reading 〉〉 “Dance Dance Revolution:
Learning To Push Buttons”
And Now a Message From Lord Vader…
How to Forum
Dear people of the internet: Please stop doing these horrible idiotic things when you talk to each other.
What Does a Robot Want?
No, self-aware robots aren't going to turn on us, Skynet-style. Not unless we designed them to.
Skyrim Thieves Guild
The Thieves Guild quest in Skyrim is a vortex of disjointed plot-holes, contrivances, and nonsense.
Hardware Review
So what happens when a SOFTWARE engineer tries to review hardware? This. This happens.
Wolfenstein II
This is a massive step down in story, gameplay, and art design when compared to the 2014 soft reboot. Yet critics rated this one much higher. What's going on here?
What is Vulkan?
There's a new graphics API in town. What does that mean, and why do we need it?
The Disappointment Engine
No Man's Sky is a game seemingly engineered to create a cycle of anticipation and disappointment.
Bethesda’s Launcher is Everything You Expect
From the company that brought us Fallout 76 comes a storefront / Steam competitor. It's a work of perfect awfulness. This is a monument to un-usability and anti-features.
Pixel City Dev Blog
An attempt to make a good looking cityscape with nothing but simple tricks and a few rectangles of light.
Punishing The Internet for Sharing
Why make millions on your video game when you could be making HUNDREDS on frivolous copyright claims?
T w e n t y S i d e d



