Spoiler Warning 3×13: Are we There Yet?

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 12, 2010

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 118 comments

Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself.

At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index.

Wow. Is that anger? Bitterness? Cursing game developers? Did we switch back to Fallout 3 when I wasn’t looking.

Next episode is the finale.

 


 

Stolen Pixels #234: Digdigdig

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 12, 2010

Filed under: Column 120 comments

Everyone makes jokes about how addictive their favorite game is. Which is fine. 90% of humor is about looking at the truth from unexpected angles. Here is that joke again, for Minecraft. I know I actually made the joke recently, about Chime. I’m actually sorry I did that, because that fling with Chime was nothing compared to Minecraft.

How do we measure the addictiveness of games? Maybe we need some sort of unit of measure. Like pong.

Pong has 1 pong worth of addiction strength.

Space invaders has an addictive rating of 10 pong.

Your average browser game has between 10 and 100 pong of addictiveness.

Tetris is a kilopong.

Chime is a few kilopong.

Starcraft is a megapong.

World of Warcraft is about 10 megapong.

Minecraft may be the first game that scores a gigapong. (Perhaps Dwarf Fortress took that honor. I wisely avoided DF.)

 


 

Chime

By Shamus Posted Monday Oct 11, 2010

Filed under: Game Reviews 51 comments

You may remember when I became obsessed with Lumines some months ago. Chime is a kindred to that, full of colorful blocks and hypnotic electronic loops. As I hinted at in my comic, Chime is somewhat more addictive. It’s a more purified dose that stimulates those parts of the brain that are driven to struggle against entropy. Some people wanted to know how the game works before they buy it. So to save you from putting your $5 in peril, here is the deal…

If you ever played carpentry in Puzzle Pirates, then the basic motions will feel familiar to you.

chime_pieces.jpg

The game is played with eleven possible pieces. Six of them (shown in blue) are symmetric. The other five (red) have left / right variants. The game will hand you pieces at random, and your goal is to place them on the board to form rectangles of 3×3 or larger. The game is timed (I always play nine minute games, although three minute and six minute modes are also available.)

Here is one of the trailers for the game, which gives a nice run-down of how it works:


Link (YouTube)

But I want to talk a bit about the strategy behind these rules: Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Chime”

 


 

Stolen Pixels #233: The Wonders!

By Shamus Posted Friday Oct 8, 2010

Filed under: Column 91 comments

I almost titled this comic “The Oneders”, but I wasn’t sure how many people would get the reference.

 


 

Spoiler Warning 3×12: Stop Me if You’ve Heard this Before…

By Shamus Posted Thursday Oct 7, 2010

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 122 comments

Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself.

At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index.

I’ve been waiting for this episode. The Big Daddy transformation was a cavalcade of lazy plotting, supported by a layer of contrivances, and glued together with a few pounds of sloppy videogame logic. I think it actually undermines the earlier themes about free will. Now that you’re no longer a slave and you’re free to think for yourself, the game requires you to do something dumber and more illogical than anything that you did while you were supposedly under control of others.

This section of the game very nearly wins the title of “Most Obnoxious Plot Door”, a title which currently belongs to Neverwinter Nights 2. But BioShock gets off the hook because this plot door only takes about thirty minutes, not five hours.

It’s a shame we had to cut this sequence in the middle. We point out the rest of the flaws with the Big Daddy Quest in the next episode. Then there’s one more mini-episode after that one where we wrap this series up. We’ve already selected our next game, so your pleas are futile.

Enjoy!

 


 

Ask Me a Question:
What is “Trashing the heap”?

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Oct 6, 2010

Filed under: Programming 261 comments

In an earlier post, I talked about making programs trash the heap, and someone wanted to know what that was. Trashing the heap is something you’ve seen before. It often looks like this:

popup_crash.jpg

Here is how it works:

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Ask Me a Question:
What is “Trashing the heap”?”

 


 

Spoiler Warning 3×11: The Vita-Chamber Tour of Rapture

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Oct 5, 2010

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 74 comments

This is a killer episode. If you’re playing the drinking game, you’ll be missed.

Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself.

At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index.

Also, for those of you who have been looking forward to our little fits of indignant nerd rage: “HI! DID YOU MISS ME?”

This is the low point of the game. The mood and atmosphere are wrecked by the relentless combat, which is getting old. The random plasmid is an amusing idea that drags on for too long. The story has spent itself and is now just dragging along out of sheer single-mindedness. The cavalcade of splicers should have been about half as long as it was. And Fontane should have kept his yap shut.

We’ve got two more episodes left.