Desert Bus For Hope 5

By Shamus Posted Friday Nov 18, 2011

Filed under: Notices 104 comments

Desert Bus for Hope 5 begins tonight! Once again the extended crew of Loading Ready Run will be playing the most boring unreleased videogame ever devised by performing magicians based in Las Vegas, in order to raise money to buy games for sick kids.

I’ll be appearing on the show tomorrow moring at 2pm eastern time. (That’s 7pm GMT, assuming the accursed idiocy of DST isn’t throwing me off.) I’d be super-grateful if you would stop by the DB5 blog before I go on. They will have a post announcing my appearance, and there you can leave some questions. When I call in, they will ask me the questions. If we are extraordinarily lucky, this will result in something passing for entertainment.

Other announcements and comments:

  1. Yes, my book is done. It’s currently being flensed by a number of editors. It will be released sometime after that, assuming anything is left.
  2. Project Frontier is on hold until I’m done with the book. I don’t dare look at it until then. There’s just way too much going on right now. You have no idea.
  3. Skyrim is really fun. Bethesda made some really interesting design decisions, such as removing all pretense of roleplaying through dialog. They were never very good at it, and now they’ve stopped trying altogether. What’s even more surprising is that I don’t mind. Apparently having stupid, meaningless, logic-deficient choices is worse than no choice at all.
  4. Spoiler Warning: Assassin’s Creed 2 is winding down. I don’t know what game we’re going to cover next. It’s a bit early for Skyrim. I really want to cover Deus Ex: Hunan Beef, but Josh hasn’t played it yet and frankly there’s too much Skyrim going on for that to happen. We’ll see.
  5. If you’re going to leave questions for me at Desert Bus, please keep in mind that I can’t speak for the other Spoiler Warning cast members. So be careful asking questions like, “Why don’t you guys do X?” For a lot of those questions, my answer would be, “I’d have to talk it over with Mumbles, Josh, and Rutskarn,” which isn’t very interesting.
  6. I totally stole the Deus Ex “Hunan Beef” gag from Josh. Don’t tell him.
 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP22: The Desynchronizer

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 17, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 94 comments


Link (YouTube)

From this point on, most of the game revolves around a plot-driven door.

A natural side-effect of plot doors is that players will scrutinize them in direct proportion to how much hassle it is to open it. In the Neverwinter Nights 2 example I linked above, it takes the player about a quarter of the game to open a door. Therefore that potion of the game attracted a lot of analysis, which resulted in the entire thing flying apart for me.

The Assassin’s Creed 2 writers seemed to be aware of this danger, so they wisely set up this mission to examine the building and establish that it is exceptionally secure. This helps persuade the player that the upcoming steps will be justified. On the other hand, the mission itself is kind of annoying, and it doesn’t really satisfy all objections.

For example, if I was trying to sneak in to that place and kill somebody, my first thought would be, “Food and water are getting in there somehow. These are not carried by nobles. These will be carried by peasants. Maybe I should consider taking off MY MAGNIFICENTLY FLAMBOYANT CLOWN SUIT and try to slip in undetected. Maybe explore some other methods of assassination besides ‘frontal assault’.” Well, I’d think of that before I thought of “flying machine”, at any rate.

This setup made me even more angry at Ezio. He stayed his blade when all of his foes were right in front of him. Later they’ve moved into an impregnable fortress and NOW he wants to kill them?

Of course, they could have just stuck to the core mechanics and missions like the original, and then I’d fault the game for feeling repetitive. Or they could cull the repetition and I’d ding the game for being too short. Instead of the Good, fast, cheep tradeoff, games seem to have “long, diverse, well-made”. Looking at it that way, Assassin’s Creed 2 actually performs better than most games. But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let these plot-hacks slip by without comment.

EDIT: Edited the first paragraph to fix my nearly incoherent introduction.

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP21:
Actually Pimpin’ is Indeed Quite Easy

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Nov 16, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 102 comments


Link (YouTube)

Can’t comment on episode. Need to Skyrim. Hope you like this one. Let me know how it turns out.

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP20: No Hug for You!

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Nov 15, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 69 comments


Link (YouTube)

Ezio! Please help us! Please steal us some uniforms. And a boat. We’re just simple thieves, and know nothing about… stealing things.

I’d love to know how Ezio carries multiple sets of archer armor / uniforms. Or why these uniforms are in treasure chests. Or why the chests are in the street. They’re supposedly awaiting delivery to Seta, but that doesn’t really explain why they’re spread all OH STOP THINKING ABOUT EVERYTHING JUST GO STAB DUDES AND DON’T ASK ANY QUESTIONS!

 


 

Josh (Doesn’t) Play Shogun 2: Skyrim Edition

By Josh Posted Monday Nov 14, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 192 comments

In this epic installment of the Oda clan’s struggle to overcome their rivals and gain dominion over all Japan, my advisers contemplate the utility of yelling really loud, some empire fights some vikings or something, and I win at everything forever.

skyrimarrowface.jpg

Or at least I would be winning at stuff, if I wasn’t so busy trying to figure out how to get that arrow out of my companion’s face. Seriously, isn’t that uncomfortable? I mean, couldn’t you at least take off that helmet? Did it actually go through your nose, or is it just wedged in there?

What’s wrong with your faaaace!?

Alright, so this isn’t actually about Shogun 2. In reality, I’ve been playing the hell out of Skyrim. And when I’m not playing Skyrim, I’ve been in the Old Republic’s latest weekend beta test with my brother, showing him around as he experiences the game first-hand for the first time. That, coupled with yesterday having been my birthday (and, due to my graveyard-shift work-schedule, still kind of is from my perspective), leads me to a less than stellar amount of Shogun 2 related writing. Mind you, I do have some of the next post done, but not enough that I’d dare to post it and call it a “post,” and I don’t think you’d catch me in my best form if I stayed up for the next few hours working on it, rather than getting some sleep. And/or playing Skyrim.

And/or dreaming about playing Skyrim.

But I’d be remiss if I didn’t leave you with something, so allow me to let you in on an (abbreviated) taste of my Skyrim experiences so far.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Josh (Doesn’t) Play Shogun 2: Skyrim Edition”

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP19: Pick a Pocket or Two

By Shamus Posted Friday Nov 11, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 87 comments


Link (YouTube)

Welcome to Venice, Ezio. It’s good that you are here. Recently several of my best thieves were injured or killed in a haphazard and ill-advised frontal assault on a public building in broad daylight. Then half of my forces betrayed me, so I need you to kill them. Then the other half were captured. Sadly, my thieves can’t pick locks or fight to save their lives, so you need to free them and slay their guards. And could you also lead them home? They don’t have a very good sense of direction.

So, I basically need you to do everything. But first, you must prove you are worthy by climbing a tower you already climbed.

Still, I’ll take this over the “do these same three quests, over and over, dozens of times” of the original Assassin’s Creed.

AC2 really does seem to change character when you reach Venice. It becomes a lot more “questy”, and driven more by “BECAUSE IT’S A VIDEOGAME” logic. I wonder what brought on this shift in tone and style. For those of you who have played Brotherhood: Is it more like the first half of AC2, or it it more like the Venice section of the game?

 


 

Assassin’s Creed 2 EP18: I’m Better off Without You!

By Shamus Posted Thursday Nov 10, 2011

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 133 comments


Link (YouTube)

I found the gondola escort to be very unsatisfying. It kind of reminded of a GTA mission, where your goals aren’t always clear and deviation results in failure, even when it shouldn’t. The dock ends pointing directly at the boat, which struck me as a giant, “THIS WAY, PLAYER”. So I was pretty miffed when jumping on board launched all of them into the drink. (Having said that, it’s pretty hilarious ito see it happen.) Later, I failed (or nearly, I don’t remember) because I got too far AHEAD of the boat, thus getting punished for being overly thorough and efficient. Then when the gondola pulled into the tunnel, I continued to follow the platforming, and once again got too far from my target. I failed, even though the characters were now safely in their hideout and I had done my job. All of this, and the entire setup of psychic guards assaulting the gondola on sight feels sort of odd.

Like a lot of GTA missions, it’s something that’s piss-easy once you know what the pitfalls are. When I fail, I feel like my goals or challenges weren’t properly explained, and when I win I don’t feel like I’ve really done anything impressive. I just failed until I did exactly as I was told.

Yeah, yeah. I know: Animus.

As an aside, I really, really can’t stand Rosa. Reckless, bossy, short-sighted, irrational, unreasonable, arrogant. Gah. She’s like Miranda, only louder. I got mad when Ezio entertained her flirting. What are you doing, man? Show some self-respect!