Half Life 2: Episode 3 BOYCOTT

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Jun 10, 2009

Filed under: Video Games 74 comments

The Half Life 2: Episode 3 boycott is a group of individuals who have pledged to not buy the still-unreleased final episode in the Half-Life series. We have assembled a manifesto outlining the basic concensus consensus of many members of our community. But probably not everyone. You know how it is with online groups.

NOTE: This face is angry, not crying!
We are so committed to our cause that we made a logo. Don’t mess with us.
1) You promised to make Episode 3. And then you didn’t.

2) We want to hold Valve to their promise of faster release times through “episodic gaming”.

3) We really want to know who the G-Man is.

4) Could we kill one of those adviser / space slug things? That would be sweet.

5) Could we get some screenshots in the meantime? Or video? Concept art? Something? Just, you know, show us you’re working on the game and not playing WoW all day.

In closing, we, the disgruntled fans of Half-Life, vow to continue boycotting the game until such time as Valve makes good on their promise and stops not releasing it.

So say we all.

EDIT: Five months later, I guess I’m tired of red-faced fanboys trying to argue with this post because they’re too thick to get the joke. This entire thing is satire. It’s actually kind of making fun of boycotts in general, and the Left 4 Dead 2 boycott in particular. I can’t help the humor-proof goofs of the internet, but if you dorks could stop raging out in the comments that would be super-great. Thanks.

 


 

Left 4 Dead 2 Boycott

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jun 9, 2009

Filed under: Video Games 113 comments

Aggrieved fans have risen up, outraged over the announcement of Left 4 Dead 2 and the requisite allotment of E3 gameplay footage. For context, they’re talking about this:


Link (YouTube)

Aside: This movie makes me crazy. Perhaps it’s the view angle. Perhaps it’s because we’re seeing players explore a map that’s familiar to them and unknown to us. Perhaps it’s the fact that this is being played on a console. Whatever the reason, the movement looks far too fast and random. It’s like watching someone play Serious Sam at double speed. The players run around and don’t seem to make any effort to move together, protect each other, or communicate whatsoever.

After about five minutes I wanted to grab the first-person player by the back of his shirt and yank him away from the controller, “Stop and look. At. Something! Anything. Another player. A zombie. A wall. Just stop running around like a sucrose-boosted child and let me get a look at some of this stuff you wide-eyed, idiotic spaz.

Over a hundred thousand players have vowed to boycott the game. That’s 100,000 Steam accounts, and given what a tremendous pain in the ass it is to create one, it’s safe to guess that this number is not much inflated. There really are that many people that saw this footage and were so incensed that they foreswore the sequel. Here are their grievances, each followed by my response:

1) Significant content for L4D1 was promised, and never delivered

Earlier this year Valve released an entirely new game mode: Survival. The game throws waves and waves of foes at you, and you simply fight to stay alive as long as possible. I spent a few weeks’ worth of of evenings and weekends with friends, experimenting with the scenarios and trying to reach the magical ten-minute mark. It provided me with well over twenty hours of gameplay. This one game mode – given away for free after release – provided me with more gameplay than the average big-budget game.

It may not have been everyone’s cup of tea, but I don’t think you can claim it wasn’t “significant content”.

2) Valve put little faith in L4D1 since they almost certainly started working on L4D2 right after release

This is backwards. If they had no faith in the game, they certainly wouldn’t have begun making another one.

At any rate, this is true of all sequels. No doubt Valve began work on Half-Life 2: Episode 2 as soon as Episode 1 was complete. I don’t think this says anything bad about Episode 1.

3) The fact that L4D2 is nearly identical to L4D1 will decimate the community for both games.

“Nearly identical”? Different weapons, new maps, new storyline, new characters, new infected, new melee combat, new setting. In what way can anyone claim the two are identical? Is there any aspect of the two games that can be said to be similar?

Although, I do have to side with the malcontents on the second point: I am a bit concerned that a sequel will divide the user base. In a game so heavily dependent on the multiplayer aspect, it’s dangerous to divide the player base like this. If the user base for either title falls below a given threshold, it will become hard to fill games. This will make people less likely to go looking for online games, which can turn into a vicious cycle that renders the game unplayable online. (This is assuming you play with random people online, which is not something I would prescribe.)

It’s worth noting that if this issue arises, Valve could always counter it with offering deep discounts on L4D2 to migrate as many people to the new game as possible. Giving the games a common lobby system might mitigate the problem as well.

4) The announced date is not nearly enough time to polish content or make significant gameplay changes.

This is a prediction that the game will be of low quality. Valve has spent the last five years churning out games of supreme quality. The Half-Life 2 series, Portal, Team Fortress 2, and Left 4 Dead. Not a dud in the bunch. Doubtful, I can understand. But boycotting a game, sight unseen, because you predict it will be low quality even though the publisher has an outstanding track record? This makes little sense to me.

Again, they accuse Valve of not making “significant gameplay changes”. Again, I point to the new infected types, new weapons, and new melee combat. What exactly are you guys looking for?

5) The new character designs seem bland and unappealing so far.

I would say the opposite, that the personalities seem too intense and garish. At one point the first-person character remarks that he’s wearing a $1,000 suit, which – given it’s impractical nature and bright colors – isn’t really sensible garb. These people seem a little more vibrant than the Left 4 Dead cast. We meet Bill, Zoey, Francis, and Louis after the apocalypse has had its way with them. Their personalities are subdued behind the shock of the last few weeks and their bloody struggle to survive. Their previous identities usually peek out only during brief moments of quiet. And they’re dressed sensibly.

These character designs look much more extreme. The ones we saw in the movie were more caricatures than characters. Taking the idea that Left 4 Dead games are presented like classic zombie movies, Left 4 Dead was by David Fincher and Left 4 Dead 2 is by Jerry Bruckheimer. Nobody will be more opposed to this direction than I am, and this is exactly the sort of decision I look forward to eviscerating when the game comes out. But… boycott?

6) L4D2 is too colourful to fit in with L4D1’s visual aesthetic.

So after complaining that the game is “nearly identical” to its predecessor, you’re complaining that its… too different? New Orleans is a colorful place. I actually think setting areas of the game in daytime was a good idea. Empty, ruined cities can be pretty spooky in the light of day. And the night seems more frightening when it’s contrasted against day.

It did find the color surprising, though. In the previous game, colors were carefully managed in order to make key aspects of the scene (safehouses, other players) stand out.

7) The fiddle-based horde music is extremely disliked, though the differently orchestrated music is otherwise welcome.

I’m not crazy about it either. Strikes me as more comical than spooky.

8 ) L4D2’s release will result in a drop in quality and frequency for L4D1 content, even compared to before.

This is basically a repetition of point #4, along with the point that they feel like they’re entitled to more L4D content. While I wouldn’t mind more free stuff, I’ve already logged more than a hundred hours in the game. I’m not going to pretend I’ve been short-changed.

9 ) The community has lost faith in Valve’s former reputation for commitment to their games post-release.

100,000 disillusioned fans is nothing to scoff at. If even half of them made good on their promise to boycott the game, Valve will be $2,500,000 less rich. (Although, keep in mind that threatening to boycott something unless you get it for free isn’t a very effective tactic. If Valve released L4D 2 as a free content pack they would lose all of the sales, from people on both sides of the issue.)

I’m not sure where the rancor is coming from. In their manifesto the group never explains what it is they expect to see in a sequel, what sort of new content they need to see in the original game, or how long there “should” be between sequels. I expect that if you tried to get answers to these questions you’d see this ersatz community Balkanize into squabbling groups. Some just want more (free) Left 4 Dead content. Some Want Left 4 Dead 2 to be (more) different than the original. Some just don’t like some of the art direction. (Colors, music, characters.)

Valve could probably take the wind out of the whole protest by simply insidiously yet earnestly asking for clarification and specifics.

Someday I will return to the earth and become like dust, the way of all mortal men doomed to abide in this cursed sphere for a time. Perhaps after an appropriate interval of mourning, my great-grandchildren will have the opportunity to pre-order Half-Life 2: Episode 3. Looking even further into the uncertainties of the murky beyond, perhaps their children will get to actually play the thing. Valve began this project with the aim of reducing their epic development time to something that might fit within the planning horizon of mortal beings with finite lifespans. Anything that increases the number of quality games I get to play before I get old and drop dead is a good thing in my book.

I’ll be getting the game. I hope they get rid of that music, though.

 


 

Attention “a fan”

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jun 9, 2009

Filed under: Rants 31 comments

To the ankle-biting troll who posts here under the moniker of “a fan”:

You are no such thing. You have left a couple dozen comments on this site now, and every. single. one. has been argumentative, personally insulting, or both. Is this some kind of strange social experiment where you try to see how rude you can be to someone as long as you pretend to like them? Or do you just need something to bitch about? I’ve been a good sport about it up until now, but you’ve officially worn out your welcome. You will now have to hate my site at a distance, because you’re not welcome. Go bother someone else.

I’m posting this publicly because this has happened before and I just let the malcontents heap bile on me out of some misguided sense of being a “fair moderator”. I’ve since realized that no good can come from this. I’ll link back to this post if the problem arises again.

Life is too short to spend it reading hate mail.

 


 

Stolen Pixels #97: Left 4 Dumb, Part 15

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Jun 9, 2009

Filed under: Column 19 comments

What?!?! ANOTHER ONE!?

Louis’ line in panel #4 is actually something I say from time to time. Whenever I get foggy or tired and I can’t concentrate well enough to code I say this, and I never get anything but strange looks from people. (Except for my wife, who probably assumes this is simply the default state for me.)

Question for those who play: What is your preferred approach for dealing with the tank?

 


 

Kivi’s Underworld:
First Impressions

By Shamus Posted Monday Jun 8, 2009

Filed under: Game Reviews 75 comments

Yes, there are barrels.  Yes, you can smash them.  Yes, they sometimes have stuff in them. This is the natural order of things, after all.
Yes, there are barrels. Yes, you can smash them. Yes, they sometimes have stuff in them. This is the natural order of things, after all.
Kivi’s Underworld is an indie game that belongs to the increasingly nebulous “hack-and-slash” genre of games, which are sometimes referred to as “Diablo clones” by the uncouth. These games sort of came and went in mainstream circles a decade ago, and fans of the genre must rely on retro games and indies to sate their desire for hacky and/or slashy gameplay.

I’m not sure why the genre died when it did. Real-time-strategy games rose up alongside Diablo clones hack-n-slashers. They flourished together, and then RTS matured and HnS languished.

(The previous paragraph is the one that will incite annoyed comments from people who point at some game I’ve overlooked that came out a few years ago and that single-handedly undermines my assertion that HnS games have withered on the vine, and that makes me an ignorant fool! I know this. I wrote it anyway.)

kivi2.jpg
The previous title from Soldak Entertainment was Depths of Peril, which I reviewed almost exactly a year ago. That game took The hack-n-slash gameplay and added a strategy game on top of it. That game was a solid success from both a gameplay and a review standpoint, and so the natural thing would be to take this proven formula and exploit it like an Oklahoma farmgirl who just stepped off the bus in L.A. with nothing more than $20 and dreams of becoming an actress. That’s certainly the mainstream approach to game development, and despite my ravings the strategy seems to be successful enough to support most of the industry. But if you were to plot a trajectory from the games of old to Depths of Peril, and continued that line onward, it would never get anywhere near Kivi’s Underworld, which wouldn’t even appear on the same graph. The two games have as much in common as The Princess Bride and Taco Soup. Both are good, but comparisons are difficult. Designer Steven Peeler seems to be doing remixes and mashups taken from those old hack-n-slash samples, and giving us games that might have appeared years ago if the gameplay style hadn’t fallen out of favor with developers.

My first impressions of the game were unfavorable, and it took me a while to “get” Kivi’s Underworld. These games usually entice binge gaming, with the player staying up until half past crap-it’s-not-even-worth-going-to-bed-at-this-point. These games usually focus on the collecting, sorting, storing, selling, buying, and equipping of magical items. These games usually have complex(ish) leveling systems that encourage you to abandon your character and start over once you figure things out and realize you’ve botched your character.

Contrasting paragraph: Kivi lends itself to lunchtime-sized rounds. The rummage sale inventory system is dumped in favor of keeping the action going. The leveling system is simple and straightforward.

Kivi bills itself as a “Unique 3D casual, action adventure RPG”. I would say that the word “casual” is so loaded it could puke on your shoes, spend a night in the drunk tank, and and still be unfit to drive in the morning. I would say it’s not “casual” in the Peggle sense of the word, but more “casual” in the “wearing jeans to the office on Fridays” sense of the word.

I’ll get into the gameplay and premise in another post. Naturally, being an indie game there is a demo, in case you want to play along at home. Mac users can come too.

 


 

Google Wave Developer Preview at Google I/O 2009

By Shamus Posted Saturday Jun 6, 2009

Filed under: Movies 17 comments

It takes them a long time to get to the point. You can scan through the first few minutes and not miss much, but once they begin showing what they’re doing in earnest it makes for an interesting show:


Link (YouTube)

It’s part threaded conversation, part email, part instant messaging, part collaborative document. Add a dash of wiki and the ability to step back through a document history. It’s ambitious, and it looks like it works.

The one thing I wanted to know – and the one thing that they never spoke of – was spam control. Email is actually a useful technology, but spam has taken a grievous toll on its utility and saddled the entire network with an endless torrent of noise. The reason for this is that the original system was designed in a world without spam. The ability for anyone, anywhere, to generate a message that looks like it came from anyone else, anywhere else, means you can hop onto the network anywhere and send anything to anyone at any time. It can be said that this system is perhaps not as secure as it could be.

Would a beautiful woman from Russia lie to you?
I’m sure they have considered spam – these people are certainly not idiots – I just wish they had talked a bit about it. The weakest spot of the system, as always, will be the end user. If I may belabor the point: “[…]the greatest threat to computer security is the fact that men want to look at boobs. There is no firewall system that can defend against the fact that one of the guys behind it won't unintentionally – but stupidly – compromise the system in his efforts to look at naked breasts. Despite what the movies show us, you don't take control of a remote computer by typing really fast, but you can do it by luring someone with false promises of hot female nudity.”

Getting spam into the network might be possible by exploiting the seams between the different federations. They’re cribbing from email, after all. But I’m sure in the end the Achilles’ heel of the system will be that it’s used by human beings. The system of extensions will probably be the most common vector of attack. Extensions will offer money, medicine, and pornography to the hapless and clueless, and will spam the system via their compromised accounts.

Still, only getting spammed by proxy from the easy targets in your contacts list is worlds better than getting spammed by anyone who can learn or guess your email. Its worth noting that they never showed any connection between a wave and email. You can do Wave+Twitter. Wave+blog. Wave+YouTube. Wave+webpages. But they didn’t demonstrate any interoperability between email and waves.

It will be interesting to see how this goes.

 


 

Death to E3!

By Shamus Posted Friday Jun 5, 2009

Filed under: Video Games 16 comments

My latest column is up at the Escapist, and it’s a zesty blend of hyperbole, common sense, and sour grapes.

For the record, I don’t really think that E3 should die. I just think that developers could use a little restraint and wisdom.