T w e n t y S i d e d
My two great tragedies: Steam working, and not being able to grow a mustache.
Steam: Illustrated
Part 1
I click “Play Garry’s Mod”:
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Actually Valve, that wasn’t a request. It was an order. Run the software I bought from you. I’m busy too. I’m trying to make a comic, and I didn’t ask you to get involved.
Sigh. Fine…
Part 2
I click “Restart in Offline Mode”:
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Yes, yes. Just piss off and get out of my way already.
Part 3
I click “Play Garry’s Mod”:
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– Fin
I record this here because every single time we have a Steam debate we get fanboys who wave in the direction of offline mode every time someone has a problem with the platform.
As always: Use Steam or do not. I do not evangelize either position. Like everything else, it is a decision with many complex tradeoffs. I only urge people to be aware of what they’re buying into when they do it. I would like to also urge Valve to get their collective act together.
There is a very real possibility that we will get no comic tomorrow, the first miss in 210 strips. This is not entirely Valve’s fault, mind you. Lots of other factors contributed to this hellish span of 24 hours that everyone else is calling “Monday”. But Steam failed when I needed it and added to the already considerable misfortunes of the day.
EDIT: The “please try again in a few minutes” starts to sound really hollow after two freakin’ hours.
Monster Chess
At first I mistook this for a table scene. There weren’t any easily identifiable objects in the foreground to give a sense of scale. But it’s big:
Link (YouTube) |
I am constantly impressed at how much effort nerds put into finding really, really inconvenient ways to play chess.
Blizzard’s Unreal Real ID
Note, this week’s column was written last night, before Blizzard changed its mind (partly) about Real ID.
Clearly they saw me coming and retreated. I’m fearsome that way.
Stolen Pixels #210: The Business Plan
Here is another dig at the plot of Resident Evil 5.
Read the comic then come back. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Stolen Pixels #210: The Business Plan”
Spoiler Warning 2×20: Anger Management
If you’re playing the Spoiler Warning drinking game, then you might want to go ahead and put yourself on the waiting list for liver transplant before you hit play.
Hello, person from the future. This space used to have an embed from the video hosting site Viddler. The video is gone now. If you want to find out why and laugh at Viddler in the process, you can read the entire silly story for yourself. At any rate, the video is gone. Sorry. On the upside, we're gradually re-posting these old videos to YouTube. Check the Spoiler Warning page to see the full index. |
I’d intended to point this out during the episode, but of course the conversation got all confused like it always does and I forgot:
What about the slave collars when you free the kids? The game goes out of its way to show that your slave collar will detonate if you run. Fine, fine. But then the game forgets all about this and everyone just runs off with no problem. What’s the deal with these collars? Are they proximity based? Or are they detonated manually by one of the slave owners?
There are fences and armed guards to keep the slaves in check, so the story doesn’t need the collars to justify their imprisonment. It’s just another element of the world that’s established, forgotten about, and then contradicted, leaving nagging questions or plot holes.
Also, as Josh mentioned, we are now recording in W I D E S C R E E N! What he doesn’t mention because we didn’t know it until now, is that Viddler is crap and doesn’t recognize the widescreen-ness of the video. It insists on mooshing it down to some other aspect ratio, and no degree of fussing with the embedded player size can correct this. Boo.
Shamus Plays LOTRO: The Final Chapter
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All good things must come to and end. The same goes for stupid things.
A bit about the story after the jump… Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Shamus Plays LOTRO: The Final Chapter”
From The Archives:
Trusting the System
How do you know the rules of the game are what the game claims? More importantly, how do the DEVELOPERS know?
Borderlands Series
A look at the main Borderlands games. What works, what doesn't, and where the series can go from here.
The Plot-Driven Door
You know how videogames sometimes do that thing where it's preposterously hard to go through a simple door? This one is really bad.
Revisiting a Dead Engine
I wanted to take the file format of a late 90s shooter and read it in modern-day Unity. This is the result.
Philosophy of Moderation
The comments on most sites are a sewer of hate, because we're moderating with the wrong goals in mind.
The Terrible New Thing
Fidget spinners are ruining education! We need to... oh, never mind the fad is over. This is not the first time we've had a dumb moral panic.
Internet News is All Wrong
Why is internet news so bad, why do people prefer celebrity fluff, and how could it be made better?
This Game is Too Videogame-y
What's wrong with a game being "too videogameish"?
A Lack of Vision and Leadership
People fault EA for being greedy, but their real sin is just how terrible they are at it.
The Gradient of Plot Holes
Most stories have plot holes. The failure isn't that they exist, it's when you notice them while immersed in the story.