T w e n t y S i d e d
Hey everyone! We’re hanging out and Josh is playing some kinda strategy game. You can watch the stream live.
Mass Effect 3 EP37: Blimey!
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Spoiler Warning finally hops across the pond to London. And then we blow everything up. Somehow, we managed to avoid falling into a British cliche storm in this episode, though I think that’s only because we were distracted by how bad this game is. Like, seriously, nothing makes sense.
On a side note, we’re doing another hangout tomorrow at 2 PM Pacific, 5 Eastern, and 10 GMT. Hopefully, this will be a more accessible time for you guys in Europe. I know it’s still late in the evening for a lot of you, but it’s really the earliest any of us can manage.
See you then!
Mass Effect 3 EP36: Your Choices Matter
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Now we finally get the payoff for the end of Mass Effect 2. Did you destroy the collector base? Did you keep it? Did you agonize over the decision? Now you can find out what happened!
It really is absurd. This is the big moral choice at the end of Mass Effect 2. We’d already predicted that it wouldn’t have any impact on the story. (Cerberus would get the technology it was supposed to get no matter what.) But I still held out hope that it would have a cosmetic payoff. But no, that choice is clearly and deliberately negated for no reason. The Reaper Baby isn’t used as an explanation for anything specific, so it’s not supporting other plot points. (It’s being used as a “power source”. Great. That explains where Cerberus is getting their electricity, which is already free in this universe and the one thing they have that we aren’t questioning.) You could simply have this room appear empty if you wanted. There. No dialog. No additional art assets required. It’s a situation that will happen to one player and not another.
But instead BioWare went out of their way to have the Reaper Baby appear here, even though that makes no sense. They even spent money on slightly different dialog. Then the dialog specifically calls out how it makes no sense for this thing to be here. A lot of people cited parts of the game as feeling like the writers were showing open contempt for the audience. I have to say, I’m kind of feeling it in this scene.
And what’s with the line James has here? “All those assholes who doubted you… I wish they were here right now.” Why James? So they could tell us how right they were? Remember? In Mass Effect 2 everyone said working for TIM was stupid and pointless, even the player, and now we have proof that they were right. All of them.
Also Kai Leng died.
Growmap: Check the Checkbox
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Short version: You now have to check a checkbox to leave a comment. This may or may not be a permanent change. I’ll be monitoring this new system over the next couple of days to see how well it works. In the meantime, please provide checkmarks along with your comment to placate the untrusting computer. If you’re curious about the why & how, then read on…
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Growmap: Check the Checkbox”
Mass Effect 3 EP35: A Little Unwhelming
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I know we picked on this section of the game where you assault the Cerberus base, but it’s actually got some good points. My excuse is that the dream sequence caused some sort of build-up of complaint energy that needed to be released. That’s totally how it works.
Chris was right, in that the enemy variety is pretty good. There’s a good mix of tight corridors and open areas, along with some multi-level combat to keep things fresh. There are bright areas, dark areas, cool blues, and deep reds. You’ve got snipers, turrets, shield guys, standard mooks, and mechs.
The thing where you launch the fighter to blast a hole in the wall is a pretty classic BioWare gate. (Like using the mining laser in Mass Effect 1.) It’s there to give you a combat breather and allow time for a few lines of dialog without stopping for a cutscene.
As a bonus, the whole “Am I who I think I am?” moment takes the form of a dialog wheel that you can exit if you’re apathetic or you’ve seen it before, which is better than packing it into a linear conversation.
So yeah. Ignoring the whole “Cerberus” thing, this is actually a fun section of the game.
I still like the idea that your team breaks into their base to find Cerberus is fighting rogue robots, space-zombies, holographic ninjas, haywire vehicles, carnivorous plants, biotic dogs, robot thresher maws, zombie thresher maws, astrally projected thresher maws, regular thresher maws, indoctrinated ghosts, and an army of mantis-men. It’s like this every day at Cerberus HQ. There’s a line of troopers punching in at the Cerberus timeclock, just shooting the breeze and talking about what sort of failed, escaped experiments they’ll fight today. They ignore you when you blast your way through the Cerberus break room because 1) You’re not on the schedule of stuff to fight and 2) they’re on break.
Mass Effect 3 EP34: Menus and Silence
Link (YouTube) |
The Illusive Man runs a super-powerful organization that opposed you in the first game, because they are inept pro-Human terrorist mooks. Then he brings you back from the dead, because he opposes the Reapers. But then he’s attacking the Citadel, because he’s… pro-Human again? But then he’s husking Humans because he wants the Reaper power for himself. Later on he tell the Reapers what the Prothean AI revealed about the catalyst, either because he’s indoctrinated or because he knew how the Reapers would respond. And then at the end he’s just a stupid crazy idiot who got indoctrinated ages ago.
You can’t say any particular thing is a plot hole, because he has character elements to justify almost any sort of behavior. His only real motivation is identical to the motivation of the writers: Oppose Shepard no matter what she’s trying to do, and oppose her in a way that leads to squad-based shooty combat. TIM is the avatar of the writers, and he doesn’t step out of the way until we meet the Star Child. Who is arguably the same thing. This is true of a lot of videogame antagonists. The problem is, it’s not supposed to be this obvious. Usually the writers hide that sort of thing behind a curtain of of characterization.
This could have been done much better, is what I’m saying.
Sorry for the rough start to this week. It really did take us a long time to get it all working, and by the time it happened some of us were tired and irritated. Maybe that was just me. At any rate, we’re near the end. Looks like we’ll finish this game right around the end of the month. We’ve picked out our next game. I won’t reveal what it is, but I will say the next season is likely to be a lot more positive.
Mass Effect EP12: Grab That Shotgun, We’ve Got Zombies!
Link (YouTube) |
I forgot that we spent this episode with Shepard and Wrex dressed in apricot armor. I guess it’s good that it isn’t pink. This is one place where I think Mass Effect 3 has a great advantage over the original: You can customize your armor piecemeal to suit your playstyle. These choices have a clear visual impact. On top of this, there are a lot of cosmetic pattern and coloring options.
From The Archives:
The Gradient of Plot Holes
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Project Button Masher
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The Game That Ruined Me
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Grand Theft Auto Retrospective
This series began as a cheap little 2D overhead game and grew into the most profitable entertainment product ever made. I have a love / hate relationship with the series.
Bowlercoaster
Two minutes of fun at the expense of a badly-run theme park.
Please Help I Can’t Stop Playing Cities: Skylines
What makes this borderline indie title so much better than the AAA juggernauts that came before?
The Mistakes DOOM Didn't Make
How did this game avoid all the usual stupidity that ruins remakes of classic titles?
The Death of Half-Life
Valve still hasn't admitted it, but the Half-Life franchise is dead. So what made these games so popular anyway?
Stolen Pixels
A screencap comic that poked fun at videogames and the industry. The comic has ended, but there's plenty of archives for you to binge on.