T w e n t y S i d e d

Warning: This episode contains Mass Effect's infamous XXX hard core pornographic sex simulation*. Viewers strongly cautioned.

* And by “pornography” we mean, “a fleeting side view of a bare female bottom”.

This whole sex scene feels like a thirteen year old trying to seem adult by cussing and spitting on the ground. Look at me! I’m a mature medium with adult themes! I have sexytime scenes just like in the movies. TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!

And as bad as this is, Dragon Age was even worse. The clothed sex scenes were funny, awkward, and embarrassing.

I think Randy’s suggestion about being able to break down doors is actually an interesting idea. Not in a “all games should do this” kind of way, but more like, “What would happen if this was an option?”

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Mass Effect EP18: Bow Chicka Wow Wow”

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

See, this is another classic example of how BioWare didn’t plan ahead. In this part of the game we clearly KILLED KAIDEN IN A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION, and yet in the first five minutes of the next game they retcon the whole thing and have him alive again with no explanation. This failure to plan is why the whole thing is such a-

Oh. Right. That was Josh’s fault because he brought Kaiden back to life using a save editor. Um. Yeah. Still, the point stands that Kaiden totally had it coming.

We’re nearing the end of the Mass Effect re-watch. After this we’ll begin reposting the Fallout 3 episodes. I’m really looking forward to that. I haven’t seen those eps since they first aired, and I suspect I’ve forgotten a lot of them.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

ENEMY IS EVERYWHERE! ENEMY IS EVERYWHERE! GO GO GO! ENEMY IS EVERYWHERE! HOLD THE LINE! ENEMY IS EVERYWHERE! ENEMY IS EVERYWHERE! GO GO GO!

A bit of Spoiler Warning housekeeping: I’ve updated the Spoiler Warning page and created a playlist for Mass Effect 3. You know, just in case you wanted to torture someone with a continuous trickle of complaining and you don’t want to have to click on the videos manually.

Also, I remember at some point people mentioned that other bits were missing from the Spoiler Warning page, but now I’ve forgotten what they are. Let me know in the comments if anything is missing, broken, or invalidates all the choices you made to establish a pretentious and nonsensical ending that conflicts with established themes.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.