Fallout 3 EP19: Stop Calling Me Mungo

By Shamus Posted Monday Mar 4, 2013

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 139 comments


Link (YouTube)

In this episode we discuss games where you’re given a friend / companion / family member in a game, only to have them killed off two minutes later. It’s interesting because we were just talking about this in relation to Dishonored.

So here we are, in the very depths of the bowels of the pits of the dungeons of the bottom of Fallout 3’s barrel. This is the part of the game where the writers thumb their noses at the player while blowing raspberries and taunt, “Stop degrading yourself! Stop degrading yourself!” This is the most ludicrous, poorly-justified, aggravating, lazy railroad job in the entire game.

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Do Not Panic

By Shamus Posted Sunday Mar 3, 2013

Filed under: Notices 169 comments

Yes, the site theme has changed. No, this is not a permanent change. I’m just mucking around trying to figure out why the site is so ridiculously slow. I’ve fussed with the database, I’ve turned off all my plugins, I’ve checked the error logs, I’ve scoured the WordPress help pages, and I’ve said swear words in a loud, authoritative voice. I’m basically out of ideas at this point.

SOMETHING is making it incredibly expensive to show pages. It gets bad when lots of people are commenting. It gets horrible to the point of uselessness when I add a new post. We’ll see what this does.

EDIT: Initial test: Inconclusive. I’m going to let this sit for couple of hours and watch performance as comments appear and I edit posts.

EDIT: Well, I stripped the site down to the bones. Default theme, no plugings. (And then, just plugins to rebuff spam.) The site loaded fine, but posting comments still takes over a minute. Actually, the comment goes up right away, but the person leaving the comment gets stuck waiting for the page to refresh. The same thing happens when I dd a new post or update an old one. Basically, submitting a form results in an epic page load for no reason in the world. It could be the form. It could be modifying the database. It could be rebuilding the affected pages. I don’t know.

There are 235,000+ comments on the site. That’s a lot, but in the grand scheme of things they shouldn’t clog up the works that badly.

I really am at a loss. There’s no reason for this. I contacted my web host and the machine itself seems fine. No rogue processes eating CPU/memory/bandwidth. It’s just another stupid WordPress blog.

EDIT: On the advice of the tech support guru at my host, I dropped the Super Cache plugin and switched to W3 Total Cache. The difference is pretty stark. I’m hopping around the admin pages with a speed I haven’t seen in over a year. Comments seem to be working well. We’ll see how this goes.

Thank you for your continued patience.

 


 

Dishonored EP3: Your Stupid Dumb Face

By Shamus Posted Sunday Mar 3, 2013

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 114 comments


Link (YouTube)

Of all the problems with the game in the opening act, the shortcomings of The Outsider are the most painful. The entire concept of this story is excellent. Emily, the conspiracy, the outsider, Slackjaw, Daud, the strife in the city… this is great worldbuilding. We’ve got politics, intrigue, characters to care about, rivals to worry about, short and long-term goals, large and small-scale threats, justifications for magical powers that don’t immediately fall apart into “Why don’t they just use magic?” as a solution to every problem. All of this could have been fantastic if it had just been given a little room to develop before it was time to start shanking dudes.

But the outsider. The outsider needed a re-write and re-design. He sounds boring. His clothes are unremarkable. His haircut is boring. His goals don’t seem particularly ambitious. His face is ordinary. THIS IS A TRICKSTER GOD, NOT BLOODY MARTIN SMITH FROM CROYDON. We should be afraid of this guy. We should feel like he’s got us backed into a corner and we have no choice but to accept his “gift” and worry about what consequences there will be down the line. We should spend the game fearing an inevitable betrayal that never happens.

Instead The Outsider is somehow even more boring and flat than our silent protagonist. Tragic. What a missed opportunity.

 


 

Dishonored EP2: Rat Traps

By Shamus Posted Thursday Feb 28, 2013

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 193 comments


Link (YouTube)

The area around the Hound Pitts is amazing. Bright, colorful, decayed, detailed, varied, and open. There’s lots of vertical space to explore and none of it feels copy / pasted. Thought was put into making the layout sensible. Beer barrels just off the bar, places for the help to live upstairs, nice rooms for the owners, and so on. Verisimilitude and such.

And since we’re talking about the 451 code:

  • In System Shock (1994) the very first keypad-controlled door you encounter has an access code of 451.
  • I’ve never played it myself, but I’ve been told that in Sanitarium (1998) the first door code is 451.
  • In System Shock 2 (1999) the first keypad-controlled door you encounter has the access code of 45100.
  • In Deus Ex (2000) the first keypad (for the little com station just outside of UNATCO headquarters) is 0451.
  • In Deus Ex – Invisible War (2004) the game was simplified so that you no longer entered keycodes, but you begin the game in room 451 of Tarsus Academy.
  • In BioShock (2007) the door code of the crematorium is 0451.
  • In Deus Ex: Human Revolution (2011) the code to Sarif’s office elevator (to the tutorial encounter) is 0451.
  • And here in Dishonored the first safe code is 451.
 


 

Dishonored EP1: A Capital Offense!

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Feb 27, 2013

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 215 comments


Link (YouTube)

I want to stress that this is not going to be a season of rage and bile. I like a lot of things about Dishonored, and even its shortcomings are kind of understandable. The problem is that its problems are all front loaded. Most of the problems with the game happen in the introduction. The pacing, character introductions, worldbuilding, level design, and mechanics are all handled sideways and backwards. The game is trying to cram way too much stuff into this opening, and as a result it’s like watching a movie on fast-forward. This was incredibly frustrating to talk about. The opening is so hurried and the problems are so dense that we didn’t even get to cover all of the problems.

As a result, these first few episodes are going to be very negative. Again, this isn’t a horrible game, it just makes a really awkward first impression.

Since I brought up the Thief series, here are my posts on Thief 3 from way back in 2006.

 


 

Fallout 3 EP18: If Wishes Were Black Helicopters…

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Feb 26, 2013

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 191 comments


Link (YouTube)

I’m really starting to admire Fallout 3. It’s like this perfect case study on how to do everything wrong when telling a videogame story. Here we are at an awkward mid-arc turning point where the villain is suddenly introduced with no build-up, payoff, or greater meaning. And then he’s apparently killed off so that we’re sure to think he was a useless extra and not worth remembering.

Why are they trying to seize control of a water purifier that doesn’t work and has never worked? Why are they suddenly here now, ten minutes after we arrive, since the place has been up for grabs for twenty years? How could this device benefit them, even if it worked? Why does dad kill himself and destroy the project to keep it from them? It’s not like you can malevolently clean water. Yes, there are sort of answers to some of these questions that can be devised, but you’re supposed to establish the stakes before the confrontation, not hours after.

Then we have a long escort section / sewer level where our charges are incongruously abrasive, confrontational, or angry with you. Even though you’re the one doing the escorting, you’re never told what your next goal is or where you’re going. Dr. Li just bosses you around like a child and you have no say or stake in the proceedings. The freshly minted antagonists are trying to kill you for no other reason than they’re the Bad Guys.

Then there’s the awful and arbitrary no-stakes moral choice jammed into the middle of the escort mission where you can choose to save someone’s life by giving them a stimpack. Stimpacks are plentiful in this game, so it’s not a big deal to save this guy’s life. (Also: Stimpacks can stop heart attacks? Is there anything they can’t do?) On the other hand, this NPC is worthless, shallow, has no history with the player, and their life or death has no impact on the proceedings either way. This isn’t a choice, it’s a popup asking if you want good karma or bad karma.

Then you arrive at the Brotherhood base, which is probably new to the player. The game has to introduce the base, Elder Lyons, and the relationship between the science team and the brotherhood, all while trying to portray the characters mourning James. How many times does the game lock you in place, grab your camera, or otherwise jam exposition down your throat?

When the game manages to spark some tiny flame of emotional investment with all of its impotent flailing and railroading, it douses it a second later with nonsense, hand-waving, or plot holes. It’s all wrong. All of it. None of this works.

I know we really bashed Mass Effect 3, but I think the storytelling here is much worse. I suppose Fallout 3 got away with it because it’s mostly self-contained. This game wasn’t wrapping up a three-game arc and answering Big Questions posed in earlier titles. It was just a dumb, goofy story. It got away with being stupid by being inconsequential.

As someone who loves to see his opinions reinforced, I was delighted to see this:

The Shandification of Fallout.

The Tasteful, Understated Nerdrage guy steps up and asks the One Question I’m always asking when I play Fallout 3.

 


 

Experienced Points: Aliens Isn’t About Shooting Aliens

By Shamus Posted Friday Feb 22, 2013

Filed under: Column 156 comments

My column this week is about how AAA games aren’t really capable of doing an Aliens title justice because the medium lacks either the mechanics, the maturity, or the confidence to introduce themes and character arcs that compare to the original.

In my column, I pointed out that the aliens themselves don’t show up until the halfway point of the movie. I just watched the Aliens Special Edition last night, and the same holds true for that version. The extended cut is two and a half hours, and the aliens show up right around the hour fifteen mark. This might be one of the reasons they felt the need to make so many cuts: An hour fifteen is a long time for a space monster movie to go without any space monsters. It’s a shame too, because the cut material in the first half really enhances the theme.

In the movie, Ellen Ripley returns to Earth after being in hypersleep for almost 57 years. She’d promised her daughter she would be home for the kid’s birthday, but she didn’t get home until two years after her daughter died, basically of old age. Not only did the aliens kill off her friends, but they caused her to break this promise and miss out on her chance to be a mother.

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