About the mini-comics

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Apr 23, 2008

Filed under: Projects 15 comments

Several people said they liked the recent little comics I’ve been doing. I’m glad they’re going over well.

Someone suggested doing a regular comic along these lines, like a Deus Ex comic. That sounds amusing, but I don’t really have time to take on (another) full-blown comic project right now. Even if I had the time, I’m not sure I’d want to make that commitment. These little ones are fun and easy. They take about twenty minutes. Unlike my other comics, they don’t need to stand on their own, so it’s okay if they aren’t terribly funny or well done. It’s kind of nice to be able to slap something together without worrying about continuity, characterization, joke recycling, or layout. I can just dump any pseudo-humorous exchange into a vertical strip of panels and call it done.

The comics are basically just there to keep the front page from looking like a wall of text. In the past I’ve often tried to start posts off with some stock photos or screenshots or something visual, and this is another way of accomplishing that. Screencap comics are sometimes less time consuming than fishing around for just the right photo.

You can see a list of all posts with a comic in them if you search for the comic tag. There are only a handful right now. Maybe there will be more later. Maybe there will even be one later today.

 


 

Wavatars: Deprecated

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Apr 22, 2008

Filed under: Projects 26 comments

wavatars.jpg

I read on the Gravatar blog that several popular icon systems have been simply built in to the Gravatar system. This means my Wavatars plugin is now superfluous. Instead of installing Wavatars on your blog, you can just use the built-in support for Gravatars and set the default code to “&default=wavatar”. This means that Gravatars.com will handle the storage and CPU load of all those icons. This also means that WordPress.com blogs will be able to use wavatars, as well as people who just don’t like mucking about with downloading and installing plugins. Good deal all around.

The existing Wavatars plugin will remain, but I have no plans to update it in the future. I’m glad to see that the plugin was popular enough to merit inclusion in the Gravatar system. Always nice to see an idea you nurtured grow to the point where it goes and lives on without you. (Not that I was the first to think of procedurally generated avatars, just this particular set of cute little faces.)

 


 

No Sharing

By Shamus Posted Tuesday Apr 22, 2008

Filed under: Pictures 15 comments

While reading a news story on this news site, I noticed this at the bottom of the article:

no_sharing.jpg

Now, I realize this isn’t a complete contradiction, but it is amusing to see this notice telling you not to spread the article around over a panel of icons encouraging you to do exactly that. Even the text which warns that the article is not to “broadcast” or “distributed” is at odds with the fact that this is exactly what is going on here: Their webserver is sending their articles all over the planet, where each reader reproduces a local copy for themselves.

I don’t think this is insidious or anything. It’s obvious they just want to make sure you don’t swipe their stuff and pass it off as your own content. It’s just amusing to see old-school print and media outfits trying to adapt their copyright-driven media to the world where you live and die by sharing. A copyright forbidding reprints next to an icon which will send the article to a friend. You are not allowed to share this article and please do so.

Maybe it’s just me, but I got a laugh out of it.

 


 

Deus Ex – Invisible War:
Poor Choice

By Shamus Posted Monday Apr 21, 2008

Filed under: Game Reviews 45 comments

I found Friday’s skewering of Deus Ex Invisible War to be quite satisfying. So much so that I thought I might just indulge in it again. I’m not trying to be a bully, I just find it interesting that so many things that looked good on paper wound up falling so short in practice. The people behind the game are talented, so we can’t blame the failures on simple ineptitude. Certainly the console-itis (the miniscule levels and the harsh simplification of gameplay) crippled the title for fans of the original, but that doesn’t explain everything that went wrong.

Deus Ex – Invisible War.
This is going to have endgame spoilers, so choose wisely.

The one gameplay aspect that they retained from Deus Ex to Invisible war was in offering lots of choices in how your character can behave. The sad thing is that in Invisible War the choices you get just aren’t satisfying. They’re just little detours where you choose which of the two or three factions of idiots and bastards you want to side with temporarily. No matter who you’re working for, you’ll usually travel to the same locations and do the same mission, but when you get to the end you can choose to do A or B. Perhaps A is “kill somebody” and B is “don’t”. Your choice will earn you a reward from a faction in the game and scorn from the others, but down the road it doesn’t make any difference. For the most part other characters don’t seem to remember which side you’re on. You can call this “branching gameplay” if you like, but meeting the requirements of a definition while not meeting player expectations is a cunning way to disappoint the audience.

In the past I faulted Jade Empire (an otherwise flawless game) for having some unsatisfying choices. Like many of the Star Wars Jedi games, it supposedly presents you with moral challenges between “good” and “evil” but usually end up as a choice between “good” and “jerk”. Invisible War is slightly worse, in that you usually aren’t given choices which might somehow be related to a particular philosophy or worldview. You just choose what kind of jerk you want to be. Do I support the murderous religious zealots or the murderous bureaucrats? The game repeatedly asks the player to make distasteful yet ultimately meaningless choices. (And of course the game is always filled with the meaningless faux-choice to gun down irrelevant NPCs.)

Consider the following scenario, which was offered in the original Deus Ex:
Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Deus Ex – Invisible War:
Poor Choice”

 


 

Print Job

By Shamus Posted Monday Apr 21, 2008

Filed under: Rants 60 comments

I found this story here:

Computer:Monitor, display this document, O.K.?
Monitor:No prob, boss.
Computer:O.K., now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor:Anything you ask, boss.
Computer:Great, great. O.K., Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse:Over to the icon panel, sir.
Computer:Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, O.K.?
Mouse:Of course.
Keyboard:Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.
Monitor:Oh God, here we go.
Computer:(Sighs) Printer, are you there?
Printer:No.
Computer:Please, Printer. I know you're there.
Printer:NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer:Jesus. O.K. look, you really ne…
Mouse:Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer:Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer:NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer:Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer:NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer:You're not out of in…
Printer:I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer:(Sighs) Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor:But sir, he has plen…
Computer:Just do it, damn it!
Monitor:Yes sir.
Keyboard:AHHH! He's hitting me!
Computer:Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard:He's pressing everything. I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer:PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!
Printer:HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he…hey…HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please, please help me!
Monitor:Sir, maybe we should help him?
Computer:No. He did this to himself.

This is true. This is so true. This is every printer I’ve owned in the last twelve or fourteen years, regardless of manufacturer or model.

In the late 80’s / early 90’s dot matrix tractor-fed printers were all the rage. They were noisy and ugly, but they were tireless workhorses. They ran for ages without needing to have the ink cart changed. As long as the box of paper was in the right place, they didn’t jam. I remember sending huge print jobs to my dot matrix and leaving the room without ever worrying that something might go wrong while I was gone. If I tried that with a modern HP Inkjet PaperChewer 2000 or an Epson Light-blinker 3450 I would not expect to have anything readable by the time I got back. I’d expect error lights, torn paper, and maybe a small fire.

Today you have to babysit printers and feed them paper a few sheets at a time because they’ll gag on a big stack. They run out of ink fast and jam without provocation. But most of all, they are just unpredictable and ornery as in the story above, likely to quit or go unresponsive for no discernible reason. They will claim paper jam or out-of-ink at inappropriate times. They will get lost if you send multiple print lobs at once.

The problems seem to be across the board. The hardware is terrible. The drivers suck. The installers are bloated and unreliable. Windows print manager is frequently confused and easily distracted.

When did printers begin to suck so bad?

 


 

Deus Ex – Invisible War:
A Disappointing Success

By Shamus Posted Friday Apr 18, 2008

Filed under: Game Reviews 48 comments

After my praise for Deus Ex, a few people solicited my opinion on its successor, Deus Ex: Invisible War. Never one to turn down the opportunity to over-analyze at length, I offer the following:

The biggest flaw with Deus Ex: Invisible War is that it was a complete departure from what was established in the original. Invisible War was weak in precisely the ways that its forbearer had been strong. This alienated fans, and probably earned the game a worse reaction than it deserved. It wasn’t a terrible game, it was just a terrible Deus Ex game.

Deus Ex – Invisible War.
Deus Ex had a nice list of skills which could be leveled up. You earned skill points by completing goals and exploring, thus rewarding players for doing sidequests and seeking out secret areas. It also made it possible for the player to customize their character to fit their style of play. Invisible War unceremoniously dumped this gameplay, removing much of its RPG appeal and making it more or less a straightforward shooter.

Deus Ex Sr. was also famous for having a tremendous supply of real estate. Many levels were massive in scale. They didn’t always work aesthetically (the Hong Kong section of the game had some particularly awkward and inappropriately boxy level design) but they were always interesting areas to inhabit. While it wasn’t possible to actually build a working model of New York, the Hell’s Kitchen area was at least symbolic of New York, an abbreviation of the genuine article. In contrast, the world of Deus Ex Jr. was fleeting and consisted mostly of outdoor closets and corridors, connected by loading-screen airlocks. The cities failed to resemble anything of the sort, and the game never gave the impression that there was a larger world beyond the walls. The airport and subway station in particular were comical in their minuscule, playset simplicity.

About the only thing they did keep from the original was the one thing they should have remade fresh. Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Deus Ex – Invisible War:
A Disappointing Success”

 


 

Turning Green

By Shamus Posted Friday Apr 18, 2008

Filed under: Random 21 comments

Spring. Picture By Heather.
For a long time the Google Earth map around my area was made from shots taken during the winter months. The trees were bare, and so everything was the color of dead leaves and asphalt. This bothered me, because it looked wrong. Everyone knows this place is green! (Half the time.) I don’t know what it is that makes the six months of green seem normal and the six months of barren trees seem like a temporary aberration. The moment the trees are shrouded in leaves it seems like they’ve always been that way, and the images of them standing naked in the yard are just leftover from a barely remembered dream three nights ago.

The view outside my window is being slowly corrected. In a couple of weeks the world should be green again. I’ve already forgotten what it smells like when the furnace kicks on, and I probably won’t give it a second thought until I smell it again in October. During the winter months I long for a good draught of spring air, but during summer I never sit around trying to remember what snow smells like. (Or perhaps, what the outside smells like when the ground is smothered in snow.) It’s like this constant seasonal blind spot – winter is forgotten the moment you can’t see it.

I’m still basking in that early-spring mania. It’s this sense of euphoric relief that begins at the end of winter, and lasts until the moment I have to go out and cut the dang grass.