Messages from Spammers Pt. 2

By Shamus Posted Sunday Feb 5, 2017

Filed under: Random 61 comments

The vast majority of spam on this site vanishes into a black hole. The plugin Akismet works with other blogs to identify common offenders and weed them out. Of those that survive, many are caught by the Bad Behavior plugin, which looks for bot-only shenanigans like visitors leaving comments to pages they’ve never loaded. Of the few that survive, some are weeded out by various heuristics like an overabundance of spammy keywords and links. And of course a few IP ranges are blocked for regions where spam traffic was overwhelming.

But sometimes spam makes it through all of these layers and winds up on the site. That’s what we’re looking at today. The ones that made it through. The best of the best. The smartest of the cockroaches. The luckiest of the houseflies.

Let’s see what they have to say…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Messages from Spammers Pt. 2”

 


 

Until Dawn EP21: Wendigo is Wendigone!

By Shamus Posted Friday Feb 3, 2017

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 86 comments


Link (YouTube)

So why DO the writers have these characters constantly wading through freezing water? The excuse I keep hearing is, “It’s movie physics!” But is it? Even movies acknowledge just how brutal freezing water is, even if movie characters bounce back a little faster than in real life. I’ve never seen a movie where someone jumped into icy water and it was portrayed like they were just “chilly”.

There doesn’t seem to even be a point to it. The water at the bottom of the mine (where they find Josh) is the only part of the story where the water is used for suspense or to hide a threat. The rest of the time it’s just a pointless little moment where you have to walk slow for fifteen seconds. It’s such a strange design choice. For people like me it’s this huge break in immersion as our characters are repeatedly exposed to deadly conditions with no impact, and for everyone else… what? Even if you’re not pulled out of the game, it’s not like these short swims are interesting or add anything to the story.

Also, the end of Matt’s story is kind of a letdown. It seems like they’re still on the mountain. Still in the woods. It’s still dark. They’re still lost. All I needed was one line of dialog along the lines of “Oh look, there’s the [secure building]! We’ll be safe there!”

So that was Until Dawn. It bugged me in a lot of small ways, but I kind of admire it. It’s full of cool ideas, wonderful scenery, great character designs, and really offers a lot of branching decisions / outcomes. The problems I have with the game are mostly problems I have with the genre it’s riffing on. It feels like the game has an experimental / indie approach to gameplay, but with AAA production values. Despite my gripes, I think the whole thing is an impressive accomplishment.

 


 

Game of Thrones Griping 2: Completely Bonkers

By Bob Case Posted Friday Feb 3, 2017

Filed under: Game of Thrones 158 comments

This series analyzes the show, but sometimes references the books as well. If you read it, expect spoilers for both.

In last week’s post, I talked about the critical backlash against the season five Winterfell storyline, and about how the decision to move Littlefinger and Sansa from the Vale to the North created a host of narrative problems. Now it’s time to get into what those narrative problems are.

The next two seasons (five and six) of this storyline are kicked off by a typical Littlefinger scheme: he plans to marry Sansa Stark to Roose Bolton’s newly-legitimized son Ramsay, thereby securing an alliance with the new Warden of the North. This is the sort of thing we expect from Petyr Baelish, who’s always angling for his own advantage. In fact, the show portrays him so clearly as the “wily schemer” type that it’s possible not to notice that…

Littlefinger’s “plan,” to the extent he even has one, is completely bonkers

His accent is also completely bonkers.
His accent is also completely bonkers.

Littlefinger’s “plan,” to the extent he even has one, is completely bonkers. Let’s take a look at the backdrop here: first, Sansa was recently married to Tyrion Lannister, who is believed to have poisoned the King, and Sansa is suspected by many, including Cersei, to have been his accomplice.A suspicion reinforced by the fact that she abruptly vanished from the capital immediately after Joffrey’s death. So for Sansa to be in Littlefinger’s company at all would raise highly uncomfortable questions for him.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Game of Thrones Griping 2: Completely Bonkers”

 


 

Until Dawn EP20: Wendigozer

By Shamus Posted Thursday Feb 2, 2017

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 69 comments


Link (YouTube)

Rutskarn brings up the fact that on your first play-though, it usually feels like EVERYTHING matters and you have a lot of control over how the story unfolds. But then you play again, make different choices, and end up with a similar outcome. Again, it’s like having someone show you how a magic trick was done. Some people are fine because they were still able to enjoy that first play-through, even if subsequent trips through the game reveal the artifice. Other people feel sort of cheated.

The Telltale Walking Dead game had the same problem. “So-and-so will remember that” sounded profound and ominous, but then you realized later that this was usually a lie and each episode had a small handful of important decisions and many meaningless ones.

I’m fine with a “magic trick” game that only works once. The problem you run into is when you try to make a franchise of recurring threats and characters built around that idea. I know if I ever played TWD: Season 2 I’d spend the whole time thinking, “This decision probably doesn’t matter.”

I think Until Dawn makes for a better formula than Walking Dead. They could make another Until Dawn game about a different group of teens in a different location with a new threat and it ought to work as well as this one, because you won’t know what the threat is. You won’t know which teens have plot armor and which ones are just one late button-press from death at all times.

We know Clementine is going to face zombies and crazy assholes in her struggle to survive, and we know she’ll make it.

I think if we’re working our way through the slasher tropes, then “camping trip gone wrong” or “haunted summer camp” should be the next destination for the Until Dawn franchise.

Next episode will wrap this series up.

 


 

Arkham City Part 2: The Dark Fight Returns

By Shamus Posted Thursday Feb 2, 2017

Filed under: Batman 96 comments

Since Batman is a gameplay-focused game, we should probably talk about the gameplay first.

I’ve heard the game dismissed as “Bah, it’s just a buncha quicktime events”. This isn’t true at all, but I can understand how people arrive at this conclusion. There is something wrong with the way the Arkham games present combat, it’s just that the complaint of “quicktime event” is misidentifying the problem.

I wasn’t particularly impressed with Arkham Asylum during my first play-through. It struck me as a bit of a shallow power fantasy: Just mash the attack button until all the dudes fall over. It wasn’t until a later playthrough that I discovered the depth that made fights an engaging challenge rather than simple cheap gratification.

How it works is this…

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Arkham City Part 2: The Dark Fight Returns”

 


 

Until Dawn EP19: The Doge of Menace

By Shamus Posted Wednesday Feb 1, 2017

Filed under: Spoiler Warning 64 comments


Link (YouTube)

According to the Wiki, Mike can’t be killed here. Watch this entire section with that in mind. Imagine a player flubbing every single quicktime event. That really would ruin the magic trick.

I wonder how common that is?

I’m willing to bet it’s extremely rare for first-time players. Like, even if you hate Mike and wish he’d die, I’m willing to bet you’ll want to do this section properly because it’s a videogame and you’re here to play a videogame.

There’s a bit in Batman: Arkham City where Penguin is going to punch Bruce Wayne in the face. The section is a bit like Until Dawn here, where it’s sort of a cutscene with dialog but there’s also a prompt you can respond to. Of course, I’ve always hit the prompts to counter Penguin’s punch and break free. I’ve often been curious what happens if you don’t touch the controller and let him blast you in the face. Does the beating go until you press counter? Do you eventually get a game over? Is there more dialog if he lands the punch?

I’ve played through that scene half a dozen times. I’ve always been curious about it. But when the moment comes I find the temptation to push the button is irresistible. I imagine it’s the same thing for would-be Mike murderers in Until Dawn. You may want him dead, but you’re not willing to “fail” to make it happen.

 


 

Unfit for XCOMmand CH3: Regroup and Reallocate

By Rutskarn Posted Wednesday Feb 1, 2017

Filed under: Lets Play 27 comments

COUNCIL SPEAKER: Very well. Bradford, please conclude your analysis of Operation Winter Stank.

C.O. BRADFORD: Skyranger took off on-schedule, leaving Sq. Specialist Kennedy on the ground, where she radioed several editorial comments concerning Carl Sagan. Then she was struck by the psychic domination effect of the sectoid behind her, and finished by saying, “I’m going to kill the Commander.”

COUNCIL: In English? Implying, then, that the mind-control effect is an alteration rather than a replacement of the existing personality. Take note of that, XXXX. [pen noises]

BRADFORD: Um. Yes. I mean, that could be what happened, yes.

COUNCIL: Well, it doesn’t seem…

BRADFORD: It is actually possible that she was lucid for that period.

COUNCIL: Lucid meaning, “not controlled.”

BRADFORD: That is what I meant. Yes. I don’t wish to imply, obviously…

COUNCIL: Do you believe Kennedy was an Advent agent?

BRADFORD: Absolutely not. I certainly do not believe she had any active plots to harm XCOM personnel. I wouldn’t say that at all.

COUNCIL: But you think she might have said, deliberately–

BRADFORD: I think we’re running into a darkzone here. Will call again at 1800.

Continue reading ⟩⟩ “Unfit for XCOMmand CH3: Regroup and Reallocate”