T w e n t y S i d e d

If the start of this episode makes no sense, it’s because the whole conversation is a call-back to the first season of Spoiler Warning, which was the last time Randy was on the show.

I’m really struggling with this season now. I’ve nitpicked the plot as much as I dare, and I’ve praised all the stuff I like. At this point it would be time to talk about the mechanics, but I haven’t played the game myself. I don’t know if it’s hurting the commentary, but I feel like I’m not doing my job.

Like, the entire inventory system seems ludicrous to me, because I’m looking at it like a movie-watcher and not a player. Bricks are massively useful. Why can we carry only one? Why do they poof into nothing after being thrown? Why don’t we carry something smaller and lighter that can still make a lot of noise? Why do shivs break? THIS IS ALL RIDICULOUS NONSENSE!

Of course, these are all simply videogame contrivances. Like, I accept that Batman has infinite explosive gel but can only use three globs of it at once. It’s an abstraction around which puzzles and challenges are built. It’s a small compromise made with realism for the sake of gameplay. Arkham is full of silly little details like this that make perfect sense as a player and no sense as a viewer. I’m sure the same is true for TLOU. If I’d played the game myself, this contrivances probably wouldn’t bother me…as much..

I don’t know if this is hurting my commentary, but I I’m going to avoid covering games I haven’t played in future seasons.

Anyway: Story is great, characters are vibrant, scenery is amazing, etc etc.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.

I do wonder about the zombie mortality rate in this town. How many zombies do we kill during this 15 minute visit? Why would Bill live here if they’re THAT dense? And if there are only a few left, then why are ANY left? The point where there are just “enough to swarm you at a moment’s notice but not enough to overwhelm you” seems like a pretty narrow range. Since zombies can only reproduce by killing people, this ratio seems really unstable.

And while we’re asking questions we’re not supposed to ask, it’s about time to annoy everyone with this one:

What does Bill EAT?

Screw the traps. His main foe isn’t zombies, it’s his belly. How does he fill that thing? (He even eats enough to be overweight. Amazing!) It takes four acres (a little over three football fields) to feed a typical frontier family, including space for the livestock. Bill might not need that much space because he’s all alone, but I’m having a hard time picturing him maintaining just ONE football field of crops.

Bill doesn’t have a car? Pfft. If a car was available, and gas was availableAnd if gasoline didn’t degrade into uselessness in just a few years. then Bill would have one ready right now, and he’d be using it to help plow his field during planting season. Tilling the land for planting is enormously labor-intensive, even if you’ve got the right tools, the right animals, and you know how to use both. And if you don’t have animals? Then you are not going to be fat, end of story. If you are very clever and lucky you might master farming quickly enough to avoid starving, but when you’re done you’re not gonna look anything like burly Bill.

He’s pissed at Joel for setting off his traps? He should be mad that Joel is burning up his precious supply of daylight hours when he should be working on the farm: Tending crops, chasing off wildlife and pests, mending tools, feeding and caring for livestock, gathering fuel for the fireAlthough the town’s furniture would be a handy, if unwieldy supply of wood. and preparing food for the dayPreparing food from raw ingredients takes a long time, particularly when you don’t have stuff like gas stoves, microwaves, blenders, refrigerators..

Shamus, this is a zombie story! You’re not supposed to ask these kinds of questions.

This season is going to be very hard for you.

Shamus Young is a programmer, an author, and nearly a composer. He works on this site full time. If you'd like to support him, you can do so via Patreon or PayPal.