T w e n t y S i d e d
Are you feeling festive? I’m feeling festive.
From The Archives:
Programming Vexations
Here is a 13 part series where I talk about programming games, programming languages, and programming problems.
If Star Wars Was Made in 2006?
Imagine if the original Star Wars hadn't appeared in the 1970's, but instead was pitched to studios in 2006. How would that turn out?
How I Plan To Rule This Dumb Industry
Here is how I'd conquer the game-publishing business. (Hint: NOT by copying EA, 2K, Activision, Take-Two, or Ubisoft.)
Object-Disoriented Programming
C++ is a wonderful language for making horrible code.
Borderlands Series
A look at the main Borderlands games. What works, what doesn't, and where the series can go from here.
I enjoyed the Breen show comics before, but now that I’ve finally played HL2, etc, I can appreciate these so much more. They probably fill people’s stockings with headcrabs too.
I love it. Poor citizen, though.
Haha, the line about the citizen database was excellent. Funny, and it fits the world of HL2 perfectly. Well done.
I like the idea of a citizen having an actual conversation with a Combine soldier.
Gave me an idea for a comic featuring a Combine soldier and a citizen who were childhood friends.
“Hey, Steve! Long time! How’re your folks?”
“They’re doing well, Timmy, thanks for asking.”
“Aw, that’s great to hear, pal. Well, get over here and let’s get this ass-kicking over with, huh?”
But I don’t have Garry’s Mod. Or time.
Okay, I have a little time:
Steve:
“Tim, man … you know your stun baton?”
Tim:
“Hell, yeah! I’ve had this puppy since basic training.”
Steve:
“Yeah. Well, do you think you could dial the power down a bit for our daily beatings? For old times’ sake? I did get you that date with Mary Jo Hotass in 11 grade.”
Tim:
“Mary Jo! Y’know I ran into her not long ago in City 17.”
Steve:
“Really? How’s she doing?”
Tim:
“No, I mean I *literally* ran into her – with an Armored Personnel Carrier.”
And … last and certainly least:
Steve:
“Oh. So, anyway … about the stun baton?”
Tim:
“Reduce the amps, right? Not gonna happen, my friend.”
Steve:
“Come on!”
Tim:
“Oh, all right.”
Steve:
“Really?”
Tim:
“Heheheheheheheh! Seriously? Not a chance.”
Steve:
“Dick.”
FRZZZZT!!!!!
Tim:
“Tim.”
that’s one of your comics about HL 2 that I enjoy.Good job!
…as if “The 12 Days of Christmas” wasn’t tortuous enough…
I figure it’d go a little more like this:
Steve: Hey Tim. Sorry to be asking this, but, well, I’m falling behind on my daily beatings, and I was wondering?
Tim: Yeah?
Steve: Would you mind calling me a heartless fascist bastard while I hit you with this stun rod? I mean, we are old pals.
Tim: I guess I could. But I’d rather not get beaten half to death.
Steve: Heh, Tim. You always were a kidder. “Not get beaten half to death”. Wait until I tell the guys at the office. They’ll crack up.
Tim: Ah. Not an option?
Steve: Hey, we’re buddies, but I’m not Calhoun here. This is a good job. Don’t want to risk it for something as stupid as a friend being a big fat sissy when it comes to being hit with a stupid stunstick.
Tim: Fine.
(Sound of a charging stunstick)
Tim: YOU &*&*^ING FACIST BASTARD!
Steve: Thanks. I owe you one. See you around!
Tim: (Whimpering)
Wow, this is one of your best comics ever. I’m still laughing. I think I’ll be adopting the Christmas beating tradition this year.
A good one, Like always.
I wonder what the city 17s jewish community gets for christmas..
Hannuka beating don’t sound very promising.