This is it. This is why I agreed to cover this game. This very cutscene. Buckle up.
Thanks to Chris and Josh for letting Rutskarn and I monopolize the show. I know how frustrating that is. Thanks for playing along. Next episode we return to our regular format. This was a special occasion.
We skipped a lot of my gripes because the whole thing was dragging on too long. And I thought of some new ones while re-watching the episode just now. This really is a disastrously incompetent cutscene.
Think about how stuff like this is produced. The writer writes it. Then the voice actors – with guidance from the director – perform it. Then the mo-cap actors do their part. Then some artists take all those assets and create the cutscene, which involves watching it many, many times over. This thing is pure torture to watch, and I can’t get through it once without shouting outraged questions at my screen. How did the team get all that done without correcting any of the glaring problems here?
I find it hard to believe that so many people let the scene slip by without noticing any of these issues. Instead, I imagine this cutscene is the result of a writer in a position of power where nobody was allowed to question his bullshit. And that makes me mad.
This is bad. It’s not bad in a fun way. It’s not bad in a campy way. It’s not bad in a playfully subversive way. This is just horrendously sophomoric trash that’s been undeservedly elevated to the status of AAA movie-game.
It’s been a while since I gave one of these out, but you clowns earned it:
Shame on you IO Interactive.
For fun: Try to spot all the errors Rutskarn and I missed.
Let's ruin everyone's fun by listing all the ways in which zombies can't work, couldn't happen, and don't make sense.
PC Gaming Golden Age
It's not a legend. It was real. There was a time before DLC. Before DRM. Before crappy ports. It was glorious.
Blistering Stupidity of Fallout 3
Yeah, this game is a classic. But the story is idiotic, incoherent, thematically confused, and patronizing.
A Lack of Vision and Leadership
People fault EA for being greedy, but their real sin is just how terrible they are at it.
Stop Asking Me to Play Dark Souls!
An unhinged rant where I maybe slightly over-reacted to the water torture of Souls evangelism.