{"id":59078,"date":"2025-09-08T00:01:23","date_gmt":"2025-09-08T04:01:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=59078"},"modified":"2025-09-07T23:41:31","modified_gmt":"2025-09-08T03:41:31","slug":"fast-food-burgers-and-other-things-what-i-have-tried-recently","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=59078","title":{"rendered":"Fast Food Burgers (and other things) What I Have Tried Recently"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know how this works. I did this before. Relevant background information: I think the Double Whopper (WITHOUT cheese, because I don’t like Burger King’s cheese) is the best fast-food burger, followed by the Impossible Whopper and the regular Whopper. And I’ll generally give Burger King higher marks for burgers and related items than other locations. Not on principle; just because I genuinely like them better. Except the cheese, or anything that heavily uses their cheese. It’s disgusting, IMO. Also, I don’t like their chicken fries. That’s a breaded chicken nugget in the shape of a french fry, if you didn’t know. Either the breading is AWFUL, or they use different chicken. Most likely it’s a completely different product that’s heated up, but I don’t know that. I have *accidentally* received chicken fries when I got the wrong order (and left the establishment before I checked…(*always* check your bag, even if it holds up the line. I understand that can be really hard for some people. Heck, *I* have moved forward and got out of the way before checking sometimes.) I took ONE bite, spit it out, and threw the chicken fries away. They stank, too. They *always* stink to me.<\/p>\n


I like Arby’s broadly, but they aren’t as good as they were a decade or so ago. I remember the heyday (hay day? Hay Day? Hayday? -checks DDG- It’s “heyday.” I was right. And yet that doesn’t LOOK right. Hey–something you exclaim to get someone’s attention, like “Hey, you! Get back here!” Day–C’mon, everyone knows this one. Heyday–The period of greatest popularity, success, or power; prime. Right. Back to the story.) of the Market Fresh sandwiches. They still offer a couple, but they aren’t nearly as good as they used to be. Arby’s keeps trying to come up with some really good burger options to complement the Roast Beef Sandwiches\u2122, but you will be happy to know they have *nothing* on offer at the moment. I mean, you can order a burger, or one with cheese, or one with bacon. I’m sure they are really good; they were the last time I tried them. Also, I cannot see “Roast Beef Sandwiches\u2122” without hearing it in H. Jon Benjamin’s voice. Because of the Arby’s ads he did. Go look it up. Dude is great.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also I like Jack In The Box. They don’t have anything different from last time, either; that I’ve noticed. Oh, wait. That’s wrong. They briefly offered an additional Sourdough burger that I apparently caught right before they ended the offer. It wasn’t particularly special; the regular Sourdough Burger is mostly just a burger on Sourdough toast with some kind of special sauce. I cannot find anything about the new burger *now*, but this was like a double Sourdough burger with some kind of different sauce, if I remember correctly. It wasn’t, as I said; much different, but I ate one. So….yay.<\/p>\n

On with the show.<\/p>\n

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Whataburger has been offering the “Bacon Wrangler” and “Bacon Wrangler Double” burger for about a month, now. What makes it a Bacon Wrangler instead of a normal Whataburger? *Possibly* it’s only available in Texas, as the info sheet prominently mentions “The Lone Star State.” Not sure that’s a smart move at the moment; Texas isn’t the nations shining example of anything (positive) right now, but that *is* Whataburger’s whole “thing.” But I don’t know if it’s widely available or not. Probably, actually; since part of the advertising text is “You don’t actually have to be in Texas.” The burger comes with both American (this is normally the “if you want a cheeseburger, add this option) and Monterey Jack (I think this is the default cheese on the long-lasting popular “Patty Melt” burger) cheese. There’s also onion strings and chipotle aioli. You can see the aioli sauce in the pic. It’s the white stuff gushing out. And bacon, obviously. And it’s…fine. It’s a different way to eat a Whataburger, which is what *all* Whataburger specials are. Unless you’re eating the chicken. There’s more variety in the chicken options. Of all their fairly recent specials, the Bacon and Blue Cheese Whataburger from a couple of years ago was the big standout for flavor. Just not quite enough *different* about the Bacon Wrangler version. Just get a Whataburger, with or without cheese; or one of the “favorites” like the Patty Melt or BBQ Chicken Strip sandwich. In my opinion.<\/p>\n

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Burger King has two new burgers to try, although I’ve only seen one in person so far. And it’s the right one, because I know what the other one is and Burger King owes me a prize for it (not really, but more about that later.) Pictured above is the BBQ Brisket Whopper. It is very similar to a previous offering from a few years ago, the South Carolina Whopper or South Carolina BBQ Whopper or something like that. I can’t find it in a short bout of searching, but there’s probably a record of it on Reddit. The South Carolina Whopper was better. The flavor was stronger; it used a different BBQ sauce from BK’s standard, I think. But it’s good. I certainly recommend it.<\/p>\n

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The other new option that I hope I get a chance to try is the Crispy Onion Whopper. You know what this is? If you eat at BK regularly you can probably spot it. This is a Whopper-sized Rodeo Burger. The Rodeo Burger is one of Burger King’s junior-sized burgers and is probably their best value. In my opinion it’s one of the best “small” and “cheap” burgers you can get. Burger patty, onion ring, BBQ sauce. The NEW burger puts cheese on by default, which I would subtract. And recommend to everyone else, too. The Rodeo Burger doesn’t come with cheese, OR veggies for that matter. But I’m open to including veggies. One of the things that makes a\u00a0 Whopper a Whopper is the large amount of fresh veggies. The reason I say Burger King owes me for this is, remember when they started the contest for “Make Your Own Whopper” and you could submit ideas to BK? Well, I submitted “Make a full-sized Rodeo Burger. It’s one of the best things on the menu and BK already has everything they need to make it.” Voil\u00e0. Now Burger King has the “Crispy Onion Whopper.” But did they call me? NOOOOO.<\/p>\n

Now, the reason I’m kidding about this: they ALREADY OWN the Rodeo Burger. A Whopper with onion rings and BBQ sauce is imminently obvious. And I would be willing to bet I was only one of tens if not hundreds of thousands of people who suggested the same thing. Sure, BK called attention to the weird ones; that was the point. The marketing. They only made the normal and easy ones (and the ones they had made before; see above.) I haven’t eaten one of these yet, but I’m looking forward to it.<\/p>\n

Last of all is Pizza Hut’s new menu items, two “Crispy Chicken” Pizzas and their new “Flatzz” pizzas.<\/p>\n

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I tried the Flatzz right after they came out. They’re meant to be another lunch-type option, like the Hut Box or the Melts. Like many of Pizza Hut’s new menu items, this is clearly another separate product, not just another way to make a pizza (they have their new “Tavern” crust, which sounds like Domino’s “Thin and Crunchy” Crust in the description, combined with the “Edge-less” options that were briefly popular. I’ll eat it, but I won’t seek it out.) The Flatzz are overall about half again as big as a personal pan pizza, but smaller than a small pizza. Essentially thin crust, but again it’s different enough that this is clearly a different product. Reinforcing that idea is that despite having options that are essentially Cheese, Pepperoni, and Supreme; none of them use the same ingredients as the full-sized pizzas. The Three Cheese Flatzz uses cheese options not available anywhere else, the pepperoni uses meat slices different in size from the regular pepperoni and different in style from the cupped pepperoni Pizza Hut offers now, and the “Ultimate” (Supreme) pizza uses differently-sized and cut veggie and meat options. Although to give credit where it’s due, the Ultimate tastes and feels like a Supreme and likely offers the most value-for-money. The Three Cheese and Pepperoni are tasty enough. Considering they are $5 each (+tax and delivery fees if applicable, in September of 2025), it’s hard to find fault. The other two options pictured above are part of another new item as well; the Crispy Chicken options.<\/p>\n

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These are DIFFERENT new items, although you can get them as “Flatzz” as well. The Crispy Chickens are also available in every crust option *except* Pan, which does run contrary to my argument that the Flatzz are pre-prepared and just heated. Because if you can make these two pizzas in multiple crust types, then maybe the toppings for the other Flatzz are more-broadly-applicable, too. The fact that they’re not available for Pan could be economic. These two pizzas are sold at a fixed coast WITH a dip option. Pan pizzas usually have a surcharge. Surely they could just add a surcharge like everything else if they are made in-store? Is the dip option screwing this up? See, I’m getting lost now.<\/p>\n

The “Crispy Chicken” part of the equation is, if you’ll look at the picture; “breaded chicken bites.” Now as awful as that sounds, I will say they are surprisingly good. These aren’t Dino Bites. I’ve tried the Crispy Chicken Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza as well as the Flatzz Chicken Bacon Ranch. Neither is great, but they’re not bad, either. Although it might be telling that the Chicken Bacon Ranch’s strongest showing was how good it smelled re-heated. Tasted about the same, but it sure smelled good. I have NOT tried any version of the Nashville Hot Chicken OR the Pickle Sauce that’s supposed to make it really good; because my local Pizza Hut never got these in. I have not heard a reason. They use the same chicken bites, so I assume any difference is in the sauce and other toppings.<\/p>\n

Would I recommend any of these as a non-Flatzz pizza? Ehhhh…not really. Pizza Hut has other, *better* chicken-based menu items. From mediocre Wingstop wings to the actually-good Backyard BBQ Chicken pizza (again, in my opinion), I would choose almost anything else. The Chicken Bacon Ranch is fine as a Flatzz, but I would get any of the more traditional offerings before the two Crispy Chickens. And yeah, a lot of it comes down to “they just put a chicken nugget on a piece of pizza. A CHICKEN NUGGET.” And while it’s not as bad as a frozen nugget (or bite) I would even take a McDonald’s McNugget\u2122<\/span> over the “Crispy Chicken.” Would I take a McCrispy Strip? Maybe. Those keep changing. I don’t know if they’re supposed to.<\/p>\n

So there’s some new fast food options. Do with this information as you will. I have not begun to check around for Fall options but I’m sure some are coming down soon. I saw Christmas decorations for sale in both Wal*Mart and Sam’s Club last week. CraigNotCreg was even complaining that the stores are getting their shipments of Christmas goods already. Sure, that’s in Britain; but like I said…Wal*Mart is selling Christmas stuff right next to the Halloween candy, and Halloween is almost two months away.<\/p>\n

Stay sane out there, people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know how this works. I did this before. Relevant background information: I think the Double Whopper (WITHOUT cheese, because I don’t like Burger King’s cheese) is the best fast-food burger, followed by the Impossible Whopper and the regular Whopper. And I’ll generally give Burger King higher marks for burgers and related items than other […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[638],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-59078","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-paige-writes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59078","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=59078"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59078\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":59133,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/59078\/revisions\/59133"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=59078"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=59078"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=59078"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}