<\/div>Gabranth tries to act tough, but he’s barely clinging to life at this point, lacking the strength to even stand straight without being wracked by pain. Gabranth throws himself a little pity party after nearly getting shitcanned, but Basch has no fucks. Gabranth loses his temper, asking Basch how he can still hold his head up after losing three (3) countries and, presumably, three kingsLandis was a republic; no clue what form their actual head of state took.<\/span> in the process, but to Basch, it’s simple. He has someone more important to protect: the Lady Ashe.<\/p>\n Ashe says nothing, but it just now strikes her that she needs to keep this man as far away from her as humanly possible.<\/p>\n Basch tries to cheer him up a little bit by pointing out that he can take pride in being Lord Larsa’s bodyguard. Even Gabranth doesn’t buy that shit; Gabranth has never lifted a damned finger to serve Larsa.<\/p>\n NOT. ONE. TIME.<\/p>\n The one chance he got to actually carry out Larsa’s will, he threw sanity to the wind and tried to goad the party into carving a wheelbarrow of fantasy nukes and blasting the Empire to gravy. Shit, here’s the trump card: the only times in the entire game that Larsa has been even remotely in danger was while he was traveling with our party, subsequently being guarded by…. Basch.<\/p>\n Gabranth, enraged by the knowledge of what a miserable lot of screw-ups his whole family is, attacks the party. H-hey there, bud, hold on. You’re hurt really, really bad, and you lost once already at full strength. Seriously, be real for a moment, are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you? Tea? Coffee? X-Potion? I’ll work with you! Help me help you!<\/p>\n Basch holds his brother’s face as he uselessly windmills his arms around trying to strike him. Unable to do so, he swears that as long as he can curse Basch’s name, he will be invincible. Basch returns a bonecrushing \u201cI’d like to see you try,\u201d rolling his eyes slowly and making an exaggerated jerking-off motion. Gabranth, crushed by Basch’s utter indifference to his crybaby temper tantrum, asks wryly if Basch \u201chas had his fill of this.\u201d Basch, stunned, can’t even believe the question he’s just been asked, calling his little brother by his real name, Noah.<\/p>\n Gabranth remembers what villain he’s supposed to be channeling, starts giving his brother the \u201cThere is no good left in me\u201d lines. It doesn’t even register on Basch. No one even cares. I can’t quite remember what it is, but it feels like there was something important we came here to do. Does anyone remember? Penelo? Ashe? No? Fran? No, I don’t want to hear the wiki entry for the Bahamut.<\/i><\/p>\n Oh, shit! The Bahamut!<\/i> We’ve got a party to crash! Vaan hurries over and starts the elevator, which I really wish we had done before the touching family reunion. As it stands, Gabranth just sort of stays huddled over in the corner, silently reflecting on his innumerable shortcomings while the party bravely endures the longest, most awkward elevator ride this side of the Shinra Building.<\/p>\n Oddly, we arrive not at the conn tower shown earlier, but in an empty, circular chamber that doesn’t appear to serve any particular purpose. Yet in the center we find Vayne and Larsa calmly talking shop. Frankly, I’m pretty sure Larsa was still pissed at Vayne from earlier and intentionally lured him to the Boss Arena.<\/p>\n Vayne is oblivious to such treachery, though, and warmly welcomes Ashelia & Co., Ltd. I wouldn’t be surprised, given how badly Gabranth botched everything else at the Pharos, that Vayne has no idea Ashe and the rest are here to assassinate him. His schedule for the afternoon could very well read, \u201c2:00 PM: Meet with that one princess. Oil treaty or something? Gabranth said she was legit. What kind of name is ‘B’Nargin?’ *snicker*<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\n No such luck, I’m afraid; Vayne asks straight out whether Ashe is here to throw down or just talk things out, and she answers evasively, saying that as long as Dalmasca gets hers, it’s all the same to her.<\/p>\n I know this is just more Ashe waffling and refusing to commit to anything, but… this actually is a great time to keep your cards close to the chest. Too bad for her, it seems like Vayne was asking less so he could react accordingly and more so he would know what to carve on her tombstone. He takes a kung fu pose and gives a great big-bro-to-little-bro \u201cwatch me beat the sand out of this scrub’s bloomers.\u201d<\/p>\n But Larsa is in fine form, and out-bastards his brother like a true Solidor, drawing his sword and wondering aloud how seven-to-one odds must seem after years of meting noogies and titty-twisters with impunity.<\/p>\n Vayne is an old hand at fratricide, though, a fact that probably makes Gabranth feel even more inferior as his tin-can ass comes lumbering up the stairs. Yes, it seems he’s chosen this moment to get serious about defending Lord Larsa, now that he can’t walk without aid of a handrail and his armor is audibly sloshing with seventeen pints of his own inexhaustible blood.<\/p>\n Vayne actually puts up a decent fight; must be that super-high Monk strength and vitality, considering he fights unarmed and unarmored. Vayne actually seems pretty disinterested in everything that’s happening. In fact, it occurs to me now that Vayne rarely displays much emotion whatsoever. For once, I’m willing to overlook the fact that this is probably just his voice actor phoning it in and chalk it up to Vayne being left dead inside from a life of ruthless bastardry. Getting beaten the fuck up by five burly lowlifes, Penelo, and his little brother seems to raise a little fire in the acting regent of Archadia, though, and he… collapses flat on his face like a plank of wood.<\/p>\n Huh. You know, I’ve got to say, this was a totally reasonable thing to expect when assaulting an unarmed, unguarded noble with no demonstrable hand-to-hand fighting experience. Good on you, game.<\/p>\n Larsa chooses this moment to become shocked and concerned with his lord brother’s sudden, unexpected poor health (at least, that’s what the Archadian newspapers will read), and he runs to Vayne’s side.<\/p>\n Psyche! Larsa takes about a million volts from some unseen source, and falls to the ground beside his brother. This is Vayne’s favorite prank; it gets Larsa every single time.<\/p>\n As for the rest of the interlopers, Vayne has something very special planned for us…<\/p>\n Going fucking SUPER-SAIYAN!!<\/p>\n That’s right! Vayne slowly begins to rouse as a swirling nethicite aura surrounds him, and he explodes with a sudden two hundred fifty extra pounds of solid, shirt-shredding muscle. A septet of swords swirl around him from thin air, and he floats just above the ground.<\/p>\n Fran crushes her scouter in her hand, unwilling to believe Vayne could so easily veil such an incredible power level. The Emperor talks tough about his new power, but facts is facts: the sudden bulksplosion has given Vayne a serious case of the ugly, and\u2014 gather your strength, dear audience\u2014 ruined his hair. Weep, Archadia! Pyrrhus didn’t know how good he had it! A righteous vengeance fills the party now; halfheartedly shivving a statesman was one thing, but now we have a worthy cause! We fight now for a higher principle.<\/p>\n Amazingly, Gabranth manages to haul his powderized bones up the stairs. I’m honestly not sure what the short exchange between him and Vayne means; Vayne tells Gabranth to guard Larsa well, because he’ll sure need it in hell, where they’re both going… and then Gabranth raises his sword and says defending Larsa is exactly what he intends to do. Vayne, despite having just threatened Gabranth’s life, seems surprised by Gabranth’s betrayal, and resolves, as if for the first time, to kill him with the others.<\/p>\n
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