<\/div>As the party is brought onto the bridge, who should be waiting for them but Amalia! Basch greets her as Majesty, and in response she slaps the taste out of his mouth, because nothing good can ever happen to Basch. Ghis confirms that she is indeed Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca (*snicker*<\/i> \u201cB’nargin\u201d), and everyone is shocked but Basch.<\/p>\n
<\/div>Ghis does note that, without any proof of her lineage, she’ll simply be hanged with the rest of the insurgents. Basch pipes up saying that he had a contingency for just such an occasion and that he and he alone knows the location of such proof, an artifact called the Dusk Shard. Which is to say, the Goddess Magicite Vaan has in his pocket. No really, it starts glowing right on cue and he pulls it on out. Does the Empire not frisk prisoners?! This is the second time! Judge Ghis finally gets the hint and yoinks it out of his hands, exclaiming, \u201cWell shit, that cleared up quicker than I thought it would.\u201d<\/p>\n
Vaan demonstrates his trademark lack of self-awareness by demanding \u201cno executions\u201d before he hands over the stone. Ghis mutters to himself about Vayne wanting the stone for some purpose, and they are led away to the brig.<\/p>\n
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On the way, Basch and Balthier banter about how contrived the previous scene was until their guard escort tries to beat them back behind the fourth wall. I feel you, pal; I actually saw everything that led up to it, and I still don’t believe how convenient that all was. Obviously, Balthier and Basch anticipate the guard’s attack and judo him to the floor, with Balthier stealing his spear. They prepare to fight the remainder, but one of the other guards knocks out his fellows for them. He raises his helm, and look who it is! Captain Vossler York Azelas. Basch jibes that he’s a bit short for a stormtrooper, and Vossler retorts that he’d rather be Lando than Leia, who Basch totally fucking is. Vossler goes on to say that it’s been damn hard enough already taking care of Ashe without Basch and the rest of the clown college that is our party making it worse for him. Basch, sufficiently cowed, welcomes his old comrade to the party and they set off to the brig to liberate Ashe. Ghis said she should be quartered separately, but they left the bridge at the same time, so, like is Ashe already there, even though the party is still just outside the bridge…? Oh well.<\/p>\n
Nevertheless, the party reaches the brig, where two minor Judges and their retinue stand guard. The game treats this as a boss fight, but they’re essentially upstatted versions of the same goons you’ve been mowing down across the entire area.<\/p>\n
<\/div>With that taken care of, Vossler opens up Ashe’s cell. She tells him he’s a bit short for a stormtrooper, and he politely informs her they already used that gag. She isn’t quite so pleased to see Basch and tells him to go get bent, but Vossler coaxes her to take good help where she can get it. Once she haughtily storms off, Vossler looks at Basch and rolls his eyes while making a jerking off motion. The whole ship is alerted now that their honored guest has been let out, but the party sets off to steal a ship and escape the dreadnought.<\/p>\n
As the party nears the dock, they run into Larsa and Penelo! Penelo and Vaan embrace upon their happy reunion. I disapprove, of course; you’ve got an in with the Solidors, girl, heirs to singular power and fantastic hair. You can fall discreetly back into Vaan’s arms after Larsa is grown up and too busy with affairs of state to pay you any mind at home. Larsa is more concerned with the two famous Dalmascans back from the dead. He urges Ashe and Basch to GTFO as quickly as possible, and to this Ashe asks the very reasonable question, \u201cWhy would you want us to escape?\u201d<\/p>\n
His answer is hilarious: just to see what happens. This is a major moment in Larsa’s sole hobby of earnestly, na\u00efvely loving and believing in Archades, yet disapproving of and actively hampering its activities at all times and in any way that might momentarily amuse him. In truth, we may well owe much of our recent and future success to Larsa being a master-class troll.<\/p>\n
<\/div>In addition to letting slip two of his state’s most dangerous political liabilities in order to foment drama, he also hands over the manufacted nethicite from earlier to Penelo\u2014 \u201ca good luck charm,\u201d he claims. This is funny not just because the thing is essentially bleeding-edge Imperial weaponry, but nethicite in any form is for the rest of the game regarded as uniformly evil technology. He then absconds with Azelas to escape separately from the rest of the party, freeing them both from suspicion.<\/p>\n
The thing is, he not only understands\u2014 at a glance, it would seem\u2014 Vossler’s role as a revolutionary infiltrator, but immediately knows him by name. How?! I’ll grant that there are at least a couple very good reasons the Empire would know of Vossler, but why would frickin’ Larsa<\/i> have any idea?<\/p>\n
While the audience ponders this, the party finds the airship’s hangar guarded by Judge Ghis himself. It would seem that, since they already have the Dusk Shard, they don’t actually need the dangerous, strong-willed princess around anymore, and are more than happy to use any old squinty brunette in a waaaaay-too-short skirt as their politically-convenient puppet queen. Not one to waste time, he flings some sort of spell at the party, only to have it harmlessly absorbed by the nethicite shard. Fancy!<\/p>\n
Having wasted most of his MP on that flaccid opener, the party tears into him, and, in defiance of time-tested fantasy traditions, he fights about as well as an elderly man in dubiously-conceived ornamental armor realistically would. Don’t feel bad, Ghis; I was a bit over-leveled. Buy your buddy Bergan a beer, though, he always wipes the floor with my ass.<\/p>\n
While Basch is busy swinging Ghis into the wall like a human hammer, note the Judge’s unique choice of weapon. While the generic unnamed Judge enemies stick to sword and board, Judges Magister like Ghis and Gabranth all dual-wield unique weapons. There are a couple understated nods to this ambidextrous affinity I’ll note down the line. In fact, we’ve already seen one of them. Did yooooooouuuuu<\/i> spot it?<\/p>\n
<\/div>Once the party finishes mauling an elderly serviceman within an inch of his life and stealing a ship to escape back to Bhujerba, the Empire is officially considered \u201cpwnt\u201d and may not pursue the escapees for the rest of the week. At least, that’s my rationalization for five of the Empire’s most wanted criminals (and one sunny peasant girl) returning to wander around the streets of Bhujerba unmolested.<\/p>\n
At the airport, a plot point which had been aggravating me terribly finally receives the closure I was starving for: Penelo returns Balthier’s handkerchief to him after having received it during that chance meeting in Rabanastre’s Lowtown. Now, I know that sounds like massive sarcasm, but (and I’m appropriately ashamed to admit this) this seriously bugged the shit out of me.<\/b> I couldn’t tell if that had just been a gesture to calm her nerves, or a sleight of hand intended to pass something of import along to her before Balthier was thrown in the clink. Nope! Just a hanky. But at least now I’ll be able to sleep again at night.<\/p>\n
This is what this fucking game is doing to me. SEND HELP.<\/p>\n
Something actually relevant occurs, as well: Ashe thinks Ondore is bad news, but Basch reveals that it had actually been the Marquis’ plan all along to get the party aboard the Leviathan<\/i> so they could break her out. I’ll ignore the fact that this is the worst plan since Raminas’ assassination. Ondore’s a clever old bastard, maybe he just recognizes player-characters when he sees them. However, this is the sole, solitary line in which the Marquis’ role in Ashe’s liberation is revealed, and if you miss it, his character goes from cunning and sly to conniving and treacherous. That’s important in itself, but really<\/i> matters when the party immediately runs right back to him: Basch thinks Ashe should meet with him, and Vossler gives his assent\u2014 and his endorsement of Basch’s integrity.<\/p>\n
This is something the game will struggle with for the long haul: even when characters have a clear motivation or consistent personality\u2014 a tall order in itself for FFXII\u2014 critically important elements of the narrative may be enclosed in a single, easily-overlooked line. It can be extremely difficult to parse what makes sense, what doesn’t make sense due to a dropped detail, and what doesn’t make sense due to shitty writing. The narrative is unduly dense and hurried at many points and it only takes a handful of these missed or muddled nodes to lose grip on the narrative entirely, and the characterization too often hinges on these stealthy little kernels.<\/p>\n
Many are the players who payed fine attention and still found themselves totally lost as to where they were going, what they where doing, why they were doing that, or why anyone on- or off-screen would give a stony shit about it. Once you find yourself in this sort of morass, it’s nearly impossible to climb back out of it, and there’s no resource in-game to find your place again (which makes the inclusion of a detailed glossary for FFXIII’s pathetically threadbare and hackneyed plot all the more insulting in hindsight).<\/p>\n
This, in particular, is the source of a great deal of the bitching about the game’s narrative. Apologists of the game contend that if players want to keep up with the turbulent, knotty storytelling, they should just pay extra-careful attention, or refer to a plot guide of some sort.*ahem*<\/i><\/span> These people can climb a wall of dicks. This game was badly in need of editing, and a careful reading of loony fucking nonsense doesn’t magically convert it to something glib and clever.<\/p>\n Once again, I can only point to the game’s distended, tumultuous development cycle. When you spend more than half a decade ripping everything up and stitching it back together again, you’re going to end up with a Frankenstein’s monster. It happened to XII, it happened even worse to XIII, and if you don’t think it’s going to happen to XV*ahem*<\/i><\/span> I will play cards with you anytime. (No Triple Triad, though; I’ve been clean for two years,Four years as of April 2021; I fell off the wagon in 2017, God dammit.<\/span> thank you very much.)<\/p>\n After recommending Ashe visit the Marquis, Vossler gets the bright idea to try and link up his Rabanastre Revolution with the Bhujerba Belligerents, and heads off to the backroom of that pub to see if his people can fucks with their people. Maybe armwrestle Curly, and learn the epic handshake\/dance insurgents require before conducting official business.<\/p>\n Back at the Marquis’ place, Ashe and Ondore (in welcome defiance of my griping above) hash out the backstory once more in a rare, but welcome reiteration of what’s supposed to be happening. Ondore lets out that announcing Ashe’s suicide was Vayne’s idea, and, while he couldn’t understand why he would suggest it at the time, he realizes now that Vayne was trying to make Ondore look like an Imperial collaborator from the still-very-much-alive Ashe’s view.This means Vayne suckered Ondore into wrongly announcing a prominent Dalmascan’s death twice!<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n In review, I’m not sure if this is supposed to imply that Ondore knew for sure whether or not Ashe was really alive (nor Basch for that matter), or if Vayne was explicitly suggesting Ondore announce Ashe’s death despite the possibility or certainty of Ashe’s survival. I’m open to suasion on this ambiguity, but I think<\/i> it’s supposed to be the second case. If so, this kind of undercuts Vayne as the consummate schemer;Granted, that card was pretty much off the table after Nalbina<\/span> why let on she wasn’t really dead before convincing him to announce otherwise? And despite Ondore’s incomprehension, the reasons Vayne would want Ondore’s cooperation are obvious, anyway; it helps bring resistance to an end so he can get on with owning Rabanastre like a big sandy trophy, and (probably not saying this part out loud to the Marquis) if Ashe is believed dead by her own hand, Vayne is freed to quietly kill her like a sewer animal or capture and coerce her later on, free of the political consequences in Rabanastre or abroad that Ashe’s station would demand.<\/p>\n If Bhujerba was neutral at the time of the war, and Ondore really was taken in by the Raminas conspiracy, then why wouldn’t Vayne just lie about Ashe killing herself and ask Ondore to help talk the remaining Dalmascan resistance down, so as to prevent further suffering and loss like the humanitarian Vayne so obviously is? It isn’t unreasonable that Ashe would kill herself, being a young woman who lost her new husband, her father, and her nation in the space of a few days. And, under those circumstances, it’s not at all suspicious that Vayne would want Ondore’s help in closing the war, since this is something that they would both obviously want anyway. Vayne’s flaw wasn’t merely acting shady, it was ever implying that there was any discrepancy to act shady about in the first place.<\/p>\n
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