{"id":38713,"date":"2017-05-17T02:43:57","date_gmt":"2017-05-17T06:43:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=38713"},"modified":"2017-05-17T02:46:44","modified_gmt":"2017-05-17T06:46:44","slug":"nan-o-war-ch10-wet-run","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/?p=38713","title":{"rendered":"Nan o’ War CH10: Wet Run"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let’s recap.<\/p>\n

I started out broke and rideless in the middle of Hispaniola. Since then I have impersonated a nun, defended a guy, beat that guy, defended him again, beat him again, sniped a parade of five people, mugged smugglers, blinged up, and generally written my memoirs in human blood in four different ports on three different islands. I have also mildly offended the Spanish.<\/p>\n

Not bad for my first day!<\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n

Yeah, you can check it for yourself. My character’s career began on March 23rd, 1670. It is now March 24th<\/em>, 1670. <\/em>My indentured granny became a feared captain literally overnight. <\/em><\/p>\n

The intro wasn’t kidding when it said the New World was a land of opportunity. If I’d started this game as a rich male merchant, I figure I’d be King of England right now.<\/p>\n

<\/div>
<\/div><\/p>\n

But I’ve had my fill of mundane colonial thuggery. As tempting as the Suspicious Buffet may be, it’s time to grow as a violent person. Here’s my plan going forward:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Mess around with ship-to-ship combat until I’ve learned the basic things I’m supposed to do and a least a dozen the developers wish I wouldn’t.<\/li>\n
  • Find a ship that I’m probably not supposed to have yet. Do the things. Acquire ship.<\/li>\n
  • Celebrate my new sea digs with a trip to the horse races(?) that exist(?) in the 1670s(?) Caribbean(!).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    That should be enough to worry about for Monday.<\/p>\n

    <\/div>
    <\/div><\/p>\n

    Hey, it’s a smuggler! What they lack in being a threat to any innocent merchants in the area, they also <\/em>lack in being a threat to me. Hopefully.<\/p>\n

    <\/div>
    <\/div><\/p>\n

    See, I don’t like this screen very much. Something about the fact that there’s more pirates in that picture than I’ll apparently get to use today makes me think this isn’t going well.<\/p>\n

    Come on. Four men<\/em>? There’s twenty-four guys in my crew! Are you really telling me that twenty guys <\/em>have more important things to do than make sure we’re not chopped into monkey chow? I’m having a hard time thinking of any situation where I’d want twenty hands on deck that doesn’t <\/em>involve a boarding action, and short of a birthday party or a rain of softshell crab I’m drawing a blank.<\/p>\n

    Not that the enemy’s put up much of a showing himself, but, hang on–how come he gets seven<\/em> guys? We have the same size crew! Do they just want it more or something? Do I need to offer stock options?<\/p>\n

    <\/div>
    <\/div><\/p>\n

    Say what you want about my men, they’re go getters. They go and get those enemy swords in their necks real fast. <\/em>By the time I’ve worked through my brace of pistols, I am quite alone. Excluding, as one must, the twenty men apparently napping on the fucking orlop. <\/em>Once all’s said and done, those goldbrickers are going to need a doctor’s note or else they are going to need a doctor.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Honestly, I get lucky. I do my trick of backpedaling and timing my long slashes and I manage to mop up by myself, but a random shot from their crow’s nest or another glancing hatchet blow could have taken me out. We’ll put this in the “qualified success” column, but the fat ‘sploits remain elusive. How can I get more of my men into the fight? How can I get fewer of his? How do I keep them alive longer in these cramped quarters and what can I do to avoid being taken out quickly?<\/p>\n

    This game would be a lot easier if I understood nearly any of its mechanics.<\/p>\n

    NEXT WEEK: THE SUPER MARIO GAMBIT<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Let’s recap. I started out broke and rideless in the middle of Hispaniola. Since then I have impersonated a nun, defended a guy, beat that guy, defended him again, beat him again, sniped a parade of five people, mugged smugglers, blinged up, and generally written my memoirs in human blood in four different ports on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[242],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38713","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lets-play"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38713","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=38713"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38713\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=38713"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=38713"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shamusyoung.com\/twentysidedtale\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=38713"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}